Sorry it has been so long between chapters. I didn't know if I should continue or not or if people were still reading this. I am working on getting them back to a good happy place, I just don't want to ignore how intense this situation would be on them all so I have to work through it but hopefully I am giving the storyline justice.
I don't own 24 etc...
Charlie, Natalie and Jess waited in another room whilst Joanne was in with Tony and Michelle. It had been hours now since the attack and finally everyone had at least come to terms with what had happened, dealing with it was another issue. Jess was full of questions. Tony had explained to them that until Sam was out of hospital and in jail and it was understood what the situation would be, they were all going to stay at the safe house. Jess was convinced that Sam would try something else, even if he wasn't well enough to do it himself. She thought back to just a few weeks ago to how naive she had been to how rough life could really be. Tony and Michelle worked in a world of bad people but the until now, the worst she had ever dealt with was bitchy girls in high school. It had been a real eye opener and the world seemed like a different place to her now.
Her parents had offered that she come move back home with them for awhile until she felt comfortable to go out on her own again or with a flat mate. She had agreed straight away, she couldn't bare the thought of having to live on her own at the moment and she knew she needed to be around her family as much as possible. Natalie was so relieved when Jess said yes straight away, she was thrilled at the thought of having her little girl home again to look after and make sure she was doing ok.
Of course it was going to be a little while before they had to deal with any of this. They might be in the safe house for weeks yet. Ryan Chapelle had dropped in for a few minutes to check in on them all. He didn't stay once he learned Michelle was in with another doctor and might be awhile. He gave Charlie some information of how things would work at the safe house, who would be looking after them and asked that they have Tony call him as soon as possible. He explained that he would have a couple agents come out to the house the following day to debrief them all instead of them having to come to the office. Charlie could tell that Ryan seemed genuinely sorry for what they had all been through and a little worried at how Tony and Michelle might pull up after all of this.
Joanne stepped out of the room and asked Charlie to join her in the hall to talk.
"How is she Joanne?"
"I tell you Charlie, I've been doing this for 20 years and I don't think I have ever come across someone as guarded as Michelle. Usually I can get a read on patient within minutes but Michelle was impossible to read and I could only get answers to what she wanted to tell me."
"Well, unfortunately for the situation she is in, Michelle's line of work has taught her to be this way."
Joanne smiled a little, "She must be good at her job because I can tell you I tried every trick in my book to get her to offer up information or let me know how she truly felt and it was clear as day she knew what I was doing..."
"So did she talk at all?"
"Yeah, I got what I needed to help her physically, I'll get to that in a second but I don't think I was of any use to her emotionally what-so-ever."
He sighed. "And Tony? How did he seem to you?"
Joanne paused for a moment whilst someone past them in the hall. She could see how tired and worn out Charlie was, she felt horrible for the whole family. "Angry, frustrated, scared and relieved. But Charlie, he has a lot of anger built up and I think he needs to get it out or else he is going to explode. He was great with trying to make Michelle comfortable and helping to answer any questions but I can tell that he is really upset by what has happened. I think he is shouldering a lot of blame and I tell you, he is absolutely scared to death of losing Michelle. He needs a lot of support from all of you and Michelle to really understand that she is going to be ok and not going anywhere."
Charlie was nodding his head as he listened. None of that surprised him. "They've been through more in the last couple weeks then most would ever imagine in a life time. I think it is going to take a lot to help them calm down."
"Just keep making him be involved with looking after Michelle. That will be a huge help I think...if you keep him feeling like he is improving her situation and is needed, does that make sense?"
"Yes, thank Joanne. Now what is the story with Michelle?"
An hour later and they were ready to be taken to the safe house. Michelle and Tony had both fallen asleep after seeing Joanne and so Charlie, Natalie and Jess had something to eat, wrote out lists of things they wanted to be picked up from their homes and then finally when the car arrived to take them they made their way into the room to wake them up.
Michelle was awake, lying quietly staring at the ceiling. She was gently stroking Tony's hair as he slept soundly on the bed next to her. She looked over and smiled at them all as they piled in the room. One by one they come over and gave her a kiss hello. "Is it time to go?" She whispered.
Jess was standing next to Michelle. "Yup. Everything should be ready for us. Guess what?"
"What?" Michelle was intrigued over what Jess could be a little excited about.
"Dad booked a huge limousine for us all to go in to the safe house. It is huge!"
Michelle smiled and looked at Charlie who shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "It's a long drive and I figured with the 5 of us we might as well be comfortable."
"AND...We are going to pick up some pizza to eat on the way. You guys must be starving!"
Michelle liked seeing Jess smile, it made her feel good. "Sounds perfect. Thank you! Shall I wake sleepy head?"
They all nodded. Michelle gently stroked Tony's face and said his name. He didn't even stir the first couple times, in the end she had to actually take his hand and squeeze it and say his name loudly before his eyes began to open. It took him a second to figure out where he was and then like a switch his eyes sprung to life and he scanned Michelle and everyone else to see that all was ok. Jess told Tony about the limo and food and he told her it sounded like fun and that he was starving as well.
An agent was waiting outside the room and when they were ready he started to walk them all out to the car. Tony wheeled Michelle in a chair and Charlie hung back with the 2 of them. When there was enough space between them and the girls he spoke quietly. "Joanne filled me in on everything."
Michelle went red straight away and Charlie noticed, so did Tony. "It's ok Michelle, this is Dr. Almeida for a minute ok?"
That made her smile. "Ok."
"So you both understand we need to be careful the next week or so and that you need to have a couple more follow-ups?"
They both nodded. "Obviously you both know how important it was that Michelle was checked and...and I am just glad you spoke up Michelle. I know you were nervous and I understand how uncomfortable you feel about this but it wasn't something that could just be ignored."
Tony made a loud sigh before throwing his hands in the air. "I swear, if I ever see that fucking bastard again, I will kill him. He doesn't deserve to be alive, he is absolute fucking scum!" Tony had kept his voice down but it was so full of hurt and anger it had taken both Charlie and Michelle by surprise.
Charlie put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "I know you are so angry that he touched Michelle and hurt her but you can't..."
Tony stopped wheeling Michelle and took a couple steps back pulling his Dad with him. Tony leaned in close to his Dad. "Did Joanne tell you her injuries? How that fucking prick hurt her when he touched her?"
"Yes she did. That was what I was worried about Tony. BUT she will be ok and she will heal, I promise."
"I tried to be somewhat calm in front of Michelle when Joanne was with us but I swear Dad, I just feel like exploding..."
Charlie pulled Tony into a hug. "I know...I know son. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you to hear. You did a good, brave thing by staying in there by Chelle's side."
"I don't really understand...I mean I already knew what happened but...but...damn this feels like it just gets harder and harder Dad."
"Tony, don't forget everything else that just happened today..."
"I know..." They both made their way back to Michelle.
As Tony started pushing her again, Charlie went back to talking to the both of them. They all just pretended nothing had just happened. "So anyway, thank you for seeing Joanne Michelle. We will bring you back for a check in a day or so." He hesitated but then decided to go ahead anyway. "Umm, not that I was too surprised but she did make the point to me that trying to get either of you to talk was like pulling teeth..."
Michelle actually looked up at Charlie and gave him a cheeky smile. "Yeah and I swear she just about used every reverse psychology trick in the book but..." She stopped when she remembered that the whole point was for Michelle to have talked, not do everything she could to avoid it. Her expression changed to sheepish.
Charlie did smile a little, "Battle of the book in there was it?"
"Yeah, I guess I'm used to being the one asking the questions and extracting information not giving it."
Tony watched her adoringly. He decided to make a real effort to keep things light for a bit. "Yeah I bet she could do with Richardson and an interrogation room sometimes!"
Michelle giggled, "Imagine that...Dessler, if you don't tell me how you are feeling I will begin torture..."
Tony and Charlie laughed. "Next time she wants you to talk I should get Jack to give her a few tips..."
Charlie didn't quite get the joke but Michelle did. "God...he's worse than you! Charlie, you think Tony can be pushy when he wants to know something, you should see this guy Jack."
"I've heard quite a few stories about Mr. Bauer, certainly sounds like he gets the job done!"
Tony smiled as he wondered how Jack was going lately. He felt Michelle's hand on his. "Almeida, no one beats you. I bet CTU is falling apart without their superstar director."
"Hardly!" He blushed as she had just completely stroked his ego.
Charlie let them carry on for a few more minutes, mainly because it was nice to see them fooling around a little. However just before they reached the car and their privacy would be lost he tried again. "Anyway, I don't want to ruin the mood but my whole point in bringing that up was that neither one of you is very good at opening up but after what just happened...after EVERYTHING that has happened, you need to."
"Can't we all just talk though Charlie? I didn't mean to sound disrespectful before or anything to Joanne but she has no idea of all that has happened. You guys are the only ones that understand...I mean truly understand, can't we just talk to each other?"
"Will you though?"
They both nodded their head but he knew it wasn't going to be that simple. He didn't want to argue, he would take things a step at a time. They reached the car and they all piled in. The limo had rows of 7 seats up each side and then all across the back. Jess parked herself across the back, Charlie and Natalie took one side and Tony and Michelle took the other. They had called ahead and ordered pizza and so the driver just stopped out the front and Charlie ran in and picked it up for them. The next half hour was spent eating and making small talk about anything that wasn't to do with what had happened.
Natalie felt like it was awkward that they were all avoiding evening mentioning what had happened. Everyone was going to such lengths to pretend like nothing had happened, yet they were all so beaten and worn down that it felt completely wrong. It wasn't like they could sit their laughing about a pile of different things, or talk about simple things like their houses or plans coming up – almost every topic was off the table because it somehow connected back to their situation. It was also hard to be sitting straight across from Michelle who was clearly in pain and struggling to get comfortable and not acknowledge it. Tony's ankle was so swollen now he couldn't even fit a shoe on it and was just wearing a sock. All of them were in the same clothes which were dirty and bloody. Jess' jeans were all ripped at the knees and Natalie could see the bandages where she had needed some stitches. She and Charlie were the only ones that were not hurt. Even that felt wrong.
It all become too much and Natalie couldn't keep it in any longer. "What's going on? Are we all seriously just going to keep acting like nothing happened this morning?"
Charlie was surprised at his wife's outburst. She had been so amazing to him through all this. So incredibly patient and understanding. He knew how hard it must be on her to have to accept that there were some things he couldn't tell her and the amount of times now he had broken down into her arms after looking after Michelle and Tony was adding up quickly. She had been his rock and had allowed everyone else's feelings and needs to dictate what happened. He knew she must be really struggling to have exploded like that. "I don't want to ignore it either honey..."
"Well then, why isn't anyone saying anything?"
Tony's voice was deep and assertive. "I don't think anyone would want to hear what I have to say..."
"Yes I do."
"Seriously mom, you don't. Why don't you tell us how you are doing?" As Tony said it, it dawned on him that that would have been the first time his mom or sister would have ever seen a dead body, not to mention someone getting shot. His stomach did a flip for them.
"I am really sad and angry and frightened and worried. I don't even know where to begin with how I feel but I know I don't want everyone to just ignore it. I can't handle that."
Tony spoke with a gentle voice. "I just realised that you all would have never seen someone be shot before. It's not like it is something Chelle and I are 'use' to but we have dealt with it before. I bet you are all finding that pretty scary."
Jess jumped in. "I'm not. I'm glad he is dead! Now I know he can't come back." She looked at the way everyone was looking at her and sunk her head, "Is that really wrong?"
Tony shook his head. "No Jess, not at all. Ashley put you through hell, I can completely understand if all you feel is relief that he can't hurt you anymore."
Natalie started to cry heavily. She looked at Tony and Michelle and spoke between sobs, "How do you do it? How, when someone has a gun pointed at you do you do what you both did? I don't understand, I couldn't move, I felt like I couldn't even breathe..."
Tony wanted to give his mom a huge hug. He was glad when his Dad wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know mom, just instinct I guess but you were all amazing. You have to know how brave you were. Jess, I saw you trying to get up..."
"Dad pushed me into the ground and I couldn't move. You would have had to let me go dad if CTU didn't come."
"Like hell I would."
There was silence for a second before Jess started again. "Tony was he meaning to just miss you or was he a bad shot?"
This was very hard to talk about without picturing the look on Michelle's face when it was happening. That sick feeling in his stomach started to come back. "The first couple he was just doing warning shots to make us do what he wanted..."
Finally Michelle spoke up. She took everyone by surprise a little as up till now she had been completely silent. "The 1st shot was a warning shot. The 2nd shot he missed you Tony. He was trying to get you."
"But he didn't. And he was a shit shot but if you had gotten much closer it would have been pretty hard for him to miss."
"That was the whole point wasn't it?"
Just like that, things were getting heated again. Jess couldn't stand to hear Tony and Michelle go again. She threw her hands up in the air. "Don't you guys dare start fighting."
Even though he knew they were, "We're not."
Her voice was raised as she basically yelled at them. "Yes you are! And I heard you before at the hospital as well. GOD neither of you get it. For 2 smart agents sometimes you don't get the most obvious things."
"What? Why are you talking to us like this Jess?" Tony was surprised to be challenged by his sister like that.
"Both of you nearly died today trying to protect the other one. You were screaming at each other, begging each other to stop but neither of you would. You were both willing to die for each other. You were ready to die for all of us and YET somehow you can't see that. You get mad with each other about it. I mean why can't you see Tony that Michelle was just doing exactly what you were trying to do?"
He was still stunned but completely ready to have this out. "I might have not gotten it at first Jess but I do now. It's not as fucking simple as you make it sound. As much as I love Michelle for it, I also can't believe she was willing to..." He couldn't say it. He couldn't bring himself to say the words that Michelle was willing to die. He glared at Jess, "How many women do you think would do that for me Jess? Huh?"
Michelle's voice was so much weaker than theirs. "Cause I love you Tony, of course I would."
"It's not usually that simple to people Michelle. Fuck, I've had girlfriends who think giving me a lift somewhere is a big bloody deal. You...you are not like..." He stopped and started again, "You wouldn't listen to a word I said, it was like you had already made your mind up of what you were going to do."
Michelle's voice was getting stronger now. "I had! Of course I had. The second I saw Ashley I knew what was going to happen. I just tried to buy as much time as I could by walking slowly because I knew CTU was coming and I just needed them to get there before Jess..." She stopped, not knowing how to word it.
Jess cut her off anyway, "You were screaming at me to stay down and not move Chelle but you were willing to..."
"Why the hell would we both just give ourselves up straight away?"
Jess was leaning forward like she was ready to stand. "SO WHY THE HELL SHOULD IT HAVE BEEN YOU FIRST? Fucking hell Michelle, do you know how much my brother loves you? How much we all do but that I don't think my brother could make it if he lost you like that!"
Everything was out of control. Tony started to yell something back but Michelle cut them all off. "No decision or choice is ever fucking right for this family is it? Doesn't matter what I do, it is the wrong thing or you think I should have done it differently."
There was silence as her words hung in there air for a second, everyone was utterly dumbfounded by her words. She continued. "You all get so bloody angry at me because I risk my life for you but have you stopped to think that I would never be able to handle losing you? You are my life Tony, I did what I did because I love you and I couldn't stand to lose you OR any of you. Tony you put your life on the line to save me and Jess I watched with my own eyes as you tried to get up and do the same fucking thing so how come either one of you think you have the right to judge my actions?"
Jess was crying. She felt like a little kid in a grownups world that she didn't understand. She was way out of her depth to even know where to begin to express what she meant. "I'm not judging you. I think you are amazing. I just...I just can't handle the thought of losing you or my brother and..."
She went to stand up but Charlie yelled at her to sit down. "I am so fucking angry. Why did this happen? How did he get to us so easily? Why did we have to go through all this? Just because I broke up with Sam? I'm sorry Chelle..."
Natalie was almost hysterical. "No one judges you Chelle, I think we just are amazed at how brave you are, how much you would sacrifice for us..."
"But you all do as well. It isn't just me..."
Tony pulled Michelle into his arms, "It's just like we said before at the hospital sweetheart, we did get to the point of seeing it from each other's point of you...we can't keep losing sight of that..."
Charlie leaned in, "That's right. I was there and I heard you both. The bottom line is you do understand each other's actions because you did and felt the same way. Do you know how lucky we all are that you are like that? If you weren't, the outcome through all of this would have been a lot different. Your love for each other is what saves you. You both know that, I know you can both see that, do not lose sight of it."
The both nodded their heads. Tony tried to hold Michelle closer, "I can't believe how hard this is to even try and talk about it. Jess, do you get it? Can you see Chelle and I sort through this?"
"Yeah, I didn't mean to start a big fight. I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth comes out the wrong way at the moment."
Charlie took Jess's hand. "I think we all feel a little bit like that at the moment."
Tony looked at Michelle to see how she was doing. She frowned at him, "You know, your ex-girlfriends are all a bunch of bitches if they thought giving you a lift somewhere was an effort."
He stared at her for a moment and then laughed. He could hear everyone else laughing as well, even though Michelle looked like she was being totally serious. He kissed her on the lips, "You're right, they are bitches!"
Natalie had stopped crying. "None of them could ever even come close to you Michelle. I'm so glad Tony found you."
Tony pulled her in closer, "What made you even think to say..."
"I don't know, it just popped into my head when you were talking before and it made me angry that they didn't treat you right."
He smiled. "Well, I'm glad because it couldn't have turned out better for me."
"My ex-boyfriends sucked as well ya know." She smiled.
Jess piped in, "Think I can safely say my ex-boyfriend sucked big time too."
They all stopped for a second and then laughed. Even Natalie was able to have a laugh at how the conversation had managed to turn around.
At the safe house they were greeted by a couple agents that would be securing the premises and checking in on them each day. Tony spent a long time going over everything with the agents and spoke to Ryan Chapelle on the phone to set up the debriefs the following day.
Charlie, Natalie and Jess had watched a movie whilst Tony was on the phone and Michelle had said she was going to be resting in their room. Michelle slowly made her way out to the doorway, "Ummm Charlie, when you are finished with that, do you think you could come help me for a second?"
He jumped up straight away and followed Michelle back into the bedroom. "You ready to have all your bandages checked and some pain medication?"
She nodded her head and crawled up onto the bed. She was so physically and emotionally worn out she didn't know what to do with herself. "Tony's been on the phone forever with work. Do you think they have more leads?"
"He mentioned something about wanting to hear how the interrogation of the hotel staff member went but other than that I am not sure. I think he needs to feel like he is doing something..."
"I know how he feels, this is driving me crazy not being able to do anything. I just want everything sorted out with Sam, especially so Jess can try and start moving on with her life."
Charlie sat on the bed next to Michelle. "Jess will be fine Michelle. She has always been very resilient and I think as long as we all keep making her talk and keep an eye on her, she will be ok."
Michelle just nodded her head. Charlie could see that she was so lost in her thoughts. "I'm sorry for how out of hand things got in the car Chelle. Jess had only heard you and Tony arguing at the start, she didn't realise you had worked things out and I think she is frightened that all of this is going to tear you and Tony apart."
"I don't want her feeling that way, what can I do? It is easy to forget Jess is only 20 and up until recently had probably never seen this side of life. I don't want it to change her, she is so bubbly and full of life..."
"It won't. It might take time but she will bounce back. In the mean time please try not to take things to personally, like her brother when she gets worked up she tends to say things before she has really thought it through. Both of them really wear their hearts on their sleeve."
Michelle smiled. "That is something I find so amazing about Tony. The way he can do the job he does so well even when he has so much going on in his own life. I've learnt a lot from him over the last year."
"Looks like he has learnt a lot from you as well." Charlie stood up and grabbed his case and brought it back over to the bed. "Where do you want to start? Injection?"
"Injection please." She was so use to this now she lay on her back and let Charlie give her the needle. "How are you doing Charlie? After everything that has happened? Can't be easy trying to be the one keeping everyone else together all the time."
Charlie smiled and sat back down next to her. "I'm alright. Worried. All I want is to know that you kids are going to be ok. It felt like we were starting to get there and then all of this happens this morning and it is like a huge step back."
"Least we don't have to worry about Ashley anymore."
"I can't even bear to think about what would have happened if CTU didn't get there when they did. I don't think I'll ever be able to get the images of today out of my head."
Michelle could see the sadness across Charlies face. She felt terrible; he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Me either. I'll never forget the way Tony looked at me today. For a little while I really thought he might never forgive me for doing what I did. He was so hurt...I didn't ever want to be the person to make him feel that way."
"That's only because he loves you so much and he was scared to death he was about to lose you. I know we all made a bit of a joke out of it in the car but you really are the most special person to come into Tony's life. No one has ever shown him love like you have."
That made Michelle blush. "Thank you but I feel the same way. I knew there was something really special about Tony the day I met him."
Charlie stood over Michelle and helped her undo the top couple of buttons of her top so he could see the bruise. It was still really dark and swollen. He sighed. He had meant to get it checked when they were at the hospital but with everything else going on he had forgotten. He wasn't happy with how angry and nasty it still looked and that after a few days it wasn't showing any signs of going down. "I should have got this checked today." He half mumbled to himself.
Michelle hated seeing the way Charlie sighed at the sight of the bruise. It made her think of Tony's reaction to it. "It's so ugly..."
Charlie looked up and caught eye contact with her. "It will go away Chelle, it's just taking awhile to calm down."
"You should see how angry Tony gets when he sees it. It makes him sick and..." She stopped wondering if she should be sharing this with Charlie or not but she was beyond caring about having her guard up and she did need to talk. "And I just wish he didn't have to see it...I don't want it to run things between us..."
Charlie knew what she was getting at straight away. He had dealt with a million abused women in his career and Michelle was just like the rest of them. "It's not going to ruin anything between you and Tony. You have to believe that. It just makes Tony sad when he sees it. I mean, I get angry at Sam, I feel terrible knowing the pain it must cause you. If another man laid a finger on Natalie it would kill me BUT it wouldn't take away from how I felt about her. If anything Tony loves you more for being so brave Chelle."
"But I want him to be able to see past the bruises and see me. He gets this glazed look in his eyes and I can tell he can't concentrate on anything else but how angry his is with what happened." She watched as Charlie's eyes dropped to the ground and he sighed. She could see his breathing was getting deeper and she became nervous she had upset him. "Sorry Charlie, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..."
He looked back at her straight away. "No, no you didn't...not at all. I just wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. This is all so unfair but I promise you Chelle it will get better. Tony is still trying to get his head around what happened and your wounds are a pretty big reminder. I know my son though and he is absolutely head over heels in love with you. Nothing is ever going to change that. You are the beautiful and I don't want you to think just because you have some cuts and bruises that changes anything."
She smiled a little and she could feel her eyes getting watery. "But if this had happened to Natalie...don't answer this if you don't want to...but would you...I mean..." She was desperate to talk to someone about this. Normally she would talk to a girlfriend but she couldn't right now and the person she felt closest to besides Tony was Charlie. She tried again, "would you be turned off? Would you be able to get over knowing that another man..."
He cut her off, "Is that what you are worried about? You think Tony is going to change how he feels about you like that?"
They stared at each other for a moment before Michelle dropped her eyes. Tears made their way down her cheek and she rubbed them away. "Don't worry about it...I shouldn't have bought it up."
"It's ok Chelle. I'm glad you are talking...you need to."
"Yeah but...I know you have dealt with people like me a million times before and you know all the right things to say. I don't want to hear what you are 'meant' to say...I need someone to be honest with me..."
"I'll only ever be honest with Chelle, no matter how hard that might be. You are not just 'another' patient to me." He wanted to hug her, wipe away her tears but he knew how vulnerable she felt and he thought it best to just stay close but give her a little space.
"Ok then...are the burns on my thigh going to scar?"
First question and he instinctively wanted to lie but he had made a promise and so he wouldn't. "Yes. I am not sure to what extent and there are always lots of things you can do to help scars but they won't go away completely on their own."
She nodded her head. "Are you angry at me for not speaking about all that other stuff? I mean, did I make things worse by waiting so long to have Joanne check me out?"
"I'm not angry at all. I completely understand why you would have been nervous and uncomfortable. It's not lost on me how this might feel for you sometimes Chelle to have your fiancé's father treating you. And no I don't think anything is worse because it was a few extra days...I'm glad no more time passed and we can be sure you are being treated properly."
He had barely finished talking before she was onto the next question, "Do you and Natalie think I could have done more to protect Jess..."
"Oh My God Chelle. No. Not at all. We are stunned at how much you did protect her..."
"Do you regret releasing me from the hospital into your care? I mean I know you didn't expect it to be this bad."
He could barely keep up with her. It saddened him to think she had been worrying about all of these things for days now. He wished he had a way to make her truly understand just how highly he thought of her, how in debt he felt to her for all she had done. "I'll never regret releasing you...it has been hard." Before she could get another question in, he turned things around. "What about you Michelle, how have you felt having me care for you?"
She stopped, she was taken off guard at having him ask her that. She still had a pile of questions she needed answers to. She shook her head. "No. You have made me feel comfortable...even with things that I get embarrassed about, you have a way of making me feel like it is ok. I'm a pretty private person usually Charlie and I'm certainly not used to being exposed or feeling so dependent on someone else but you have made it as comfortable as the situation could be. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you or Tony."
"I can see how guarded you can be Chelle. And I feel like the more trust we build with each other, the more you let me in. It is easy for me to slip into 'Doctor mode' but I have to keep reminding myself that it is different for you and even if I am a doctor, I am always Tony's Dad to you and that must be a little hard."
"I do trust you..."
The door burst open and Tony came flying in slamming the door behind him. He was seething, his face was so red he looked like he was going to explode and he had sweat dripping on the side of his face. Both Charlie and Michelle asked him what was wrong. Tony was swearing under his breath and looked like he didn't know what to do. He finally stopped pacing and stared at Michelle, almost like he was studying her. He went to speak or yell but stopped himself repeatedly.
Michelle was panicking over what could be wrong with Tony. "Baby, what is it? Please tell me."
He was shaking his head and then finally he dropped his shoulders and said, "Nothing, it's alright. Dad can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course." Charlie hopped off the bed.
Michelle was left completely confused. "Wait a second, you can't just come in here like that and not tell me what is going on. Why are you so worked up?"
He raised his finger and pointed at Michelle, his voice was shaky but deep and assertive. "What else have you kept from me, huh?"
Michelle was completely shocked. She had no idea what he was talking about and couldn't believe how angry he looked. Charlie stood up and said his name in a way that tried to warn his son to calm down. Tony ignored him.
"I asked you...what else have you kept from me?"
"I don't know what you are talking about Tony. I haven't kept anything from you."
He was shaking his head and his fists were clenched s tightly shut his knuckles were white. "I have just been sent transcripts of Sam's phone calls the last couple days. His version of events don't quite match up with yours."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means, he says a hell of a lot more happened in that room than you have told me."
Tears streamed down her face. "And you just believe that over what I have said?"
Charlie stood up, Tony thought he was going to leave and turned to him. "No Dad, don't go anywhere...I need you to figure out what the hell is going on and if Michelle needs more treatment then..."
Charlie raised his voice at Tony. "What are you saying Tony? You need to stop and calm down for a second."
"You want me to calm down? Why don't you read this..." He threw some paper at Charlie. "And then tell me if that was mom if you would calm down?"
Charlie was stunned. Tony had never spoken to him that way. He picked up the papers from the ground whilst watching Michelle who looked devastated. She tried to reach forward and grab the papers but he held them back. "What does it say?" She looked up at Tony, "What the hell does it say?"
He started pacing the room. "Are you sure you don't already know?"
"Why are you speaking to me like this?"
Tony was so confused and angry he couldn't stop himself. He had just read the most disturbing document of his life and if it was true...if any of it was true he had no idea how the hell he would deal with it. In his whole time at CTU he had never seen or even heard of a case of such horrific sexual and violent abuse and to think it was written about his Michelle made him feel sick to his stomach. It was hard to breathe.
"I need to know...what happened in that room?"
"I've told you what happened! What does that say?"
As Charlie read the transcript from 3 conversations between Sam and a friend he thought he was going to vomit. The language and things that were said were almost unbelievable they were so horrific. He couldn't help but swear. He felt Michelle reach for the paper in his hands and he jumped back to the side taking them completely out of her reach. "No. You are not reading this."
"What? Why not?"
Charlie looked at Tony. "Michelle does NOT need to read this Tony. I'm warning you."
"I want you to check Michelle. Find out if this is true."
Charlie looked at his son and tears ran down his cheeks. "I can't do that Tony, you know I can't. Even if this was true you know there are not answers to find!"
Michelle yelled at them both. "I'm in the fucking room, you know. Don't talk about me as if I am not here. Tony, where did that come from?"
"CTU. They have been monitoring his calls."
Michelle's body slumped back onto the bed. "You telling me everyone at work have read that shit?"
"No, I've kept the entire case to a need to know basis only." He was studying her so hard, almost demanding the answers to appear across her forehead or something.
"I want to read that document. If you have both read it, I sure as hell am allowed to read it."
Tony was torn. On one hand he knew it would destroy Michelle like it had him, to read what was on the transcript. If it was all bullshit then it would do nothing but hurt her and make everything worse. On the other hand, if there was the slightest bit of truth to any of it, he needed her to tell him. He needed to know what she had been through so he could help her. He needed her to know she could tell him anything and it wouldn't change how much he loved her. All he wanted was for her to be ok.
"Michelle, I love you so much, I love you more than anything in this world. But I can't help you...Dad can't help you if we don't really understand what happened to you. I don't want you trying to protect me from anything. I can handle it..."
"Sure you could. Look at you Tony! You look like you are going to explode..."
He slammed his hand against the wall. "That's not fair Michelle. I am scared to death right now. If you had just read that about me, you would be reacting the same way."
"Well how am I supposed to know when I don't even know what you are talking about?"
Charlie folded the paper and put in his pocket. He looked at Tony. "Sit down."
Tony stood there.
"Sit down!"
As pissed as he was and not one to ever really take orders from anyone, when his Dad spoke to him in that tone it was pretty hard for Tony not to do as he was told. He sat on the edge of the bed. Charlie turned to Michelle. "Ok, we all need to settle down for a minute. Chelle can you walk us through what happened again?"
"WHAT? NO! I've already been through this. I have already told you and I shouldn't have to say it again. If you are going to choose to believe that asshole over me, then that is your choice." She could feel the injection really kicking in now and it made her angry that once again when she wanted her wits about her, she felt knocked about by the medication.
"Chelle..."
"NO! Stop it, this isn't fair. I've just had an injection and...god, please just tell me what is going on? Why can't I read that?"
Tony took a deep breath. "Because baby it is disgusting and I don't want you having to see something like that. I need you to trust me on that..."
"What just like you trust me?"
"I do trust you!"
"Then why are you even questioning any of this?" Michelle had wanted to walk out the room the moment this had all started and it was taking everything she had not to. She had sat there fighting the urge but it was becoming too strong and so she started to get out from under the covers.
Charlie walked beside her on the bed and simply had to use one hand to hold her down so she couldn't move. Tony was still pacing the room, muttering and swearing under his breath. Charlie almost didn't know who to attend to first. He was worried about how worked up Tony was. Charlie was still mortified by what he had read. He had never in his life heard anything like that before. Now, looking at Michelle he prayed like he never had before that it was all crap because the thought of any of that happening to her was too much to bare. It did cross his mind that if that had happened to Michelle it would be highly likely she wouldn't say it. He could see that Tony was struggling beyond belief, he didn't want to make Michelle feel like he didn't believe her but he could tell that Tony wasn't ready to drop it and wanted to ask more questions. His brain went into overdrive as he tried to figure out how to handle the situation. He could see Michelle's eyes opening and closing and knew she was trying to fight off the medication.
He made Tony come and sit back down again. Again Tony challenged him and he had to yell at him to do as he was told. "Tony, I am going to give you something to help you calm down."
"You have to be kidding me. We need to sort this out."
"Well you're not going to get anywhere in the state you are in."
Tony stood up again. "What the hell state do you expect me to be in Dad? You read the transcript. If any of that is true...just imagine for a second that was mom you were reading about."
Charlie's voice was raised. "I don't fucking need to imagine that it was mom I was reading about, it is bad enough that it is Michelle."
They stood staring at each other for a few moments. "Look son, you agreed that you and Michelle would listen to me and do what I needed you to do if I released Michelle out into my care. I need you to listen to me right now."
Tony tried to calm his breathing down a little bit but it was close to impossible. He looked at Michelle who was sitting with her head in her hands, unable to look at either of them. She looked so small and vulnerable and the words in the transcript began to play over and over in his mind again. He thought about how hard they had had to push Michelle just to get her to see Joanne and it made him realise how strong Michelle actually was and how much she could keep inside. He threw his hands up in the air, "Dad, I can control myself. If you give me something then I won't be able to figure this out..."
Michelle was really quite out of it by this point but still aware of what was going on. She was so angry that they wouldn't let her read the transcript. She cut Tony off, "What is there to figure out Tony? If I have to take the stuff then why shouldn't you? It's not fair that I have to feel so out of it and try and keep up with what's going on..."
"I'll tell you why Chelle, because I know you better than you think I do and I can tell that some of this is true..."
"What?"
Even Charlie stopped and looked at Tony surprised, "What do you mean?"
"From the moment we were in that holding cell together you have done everything you can to prove to me how strong you are. You don't want to upset me and my family and you don't want to worry us and so you do everything you can to get through this only revealing what you have to. It is only when you get pushed over the edge or are given drugs to drop your guard that you really open up. I can tell though just by your reaction and the look in your eyes when I came in with this that there is more to all of this than you are letting on."
Michelle sat there stumped. Tony managed to blow her away over and over with his ability to read her. She loved it about him, she expected it to a degree considering how good he was at his job but she hadn't expected him to say all that and now he had left her speechless. All she could come up with was a defensive remark back, "If you can read me so well, then you would know to leave it alone Tony..."
Charlie jerked his head back in surprise. Michelle, maybe without realising it had just given away that there was more to all this then she had told them. He looked over at Tony who didn't look surprised in the slightest. Charlie had to give his son credit, even when he was on the verge of losing it he was so distressed, the agent in him shined through...or maybe that was his love for Michelle and how in tune with her he really was, either way, Tony had just made some headway.
It was obvious Michelle didn't realise how much she had given away. Charlie put his hand up to Tony to give him the signal to not say anything, and then he sat next to Michelle. "Why should Tony know to leave it alone Chelle?"
She looked up at them both and it clicked what had just happened. She felt like she could die inside. She had no idea what to say. Both men kept their eyes trained on her, waiting to see how she would respond or what she would do next. She knew what they were doing and it felt unfair that she was in a position of trying to keep her guard up at the same time as trying to fight off the drugs. "This is completely unfair. You've got me high as a kite and it feels like I am getting tricked into saying stuff."
Tony sat on the edge of the bed. "We are not trying to trick you sweetheart, we are trying to help you. If we don't know everything then we can't give you all the help you need."
"But I was doing fine..."
Charlie sighed, "Chelle, can you remember the conversation we were having just before Tony came into the room? All of those questions you asked me, all of those worries you had...we can help you through all that. You are not fine. Tony's not fine, I am not fine. All of us are just hanging on here at the moment..."
"So if you are just hanging on, why the hell would I say anything more to make anything worse?"
Tony shook his head. "Stop worrying about upsetting us or making things worse. Just for once would you worry about YOU! How do you ever expect to get through this baby if you don't put yourself first?"
Michelle's eyes were opening and closing again and she almost fell back down onto her back onto the bed. Tony could tell he was getting close with her. He pushed again. "Look me in the eye Chelle and tell me that everything I might have read in that transcript is false. That you have told me absolutely everything. Including how he spoke to you and what he said."
"Tony..."
"No, I mean it, if you love me you will do this and you will tell the truth."
She couldn't look at him.
"I'll take that as the answer then, I know you won't lie to me and if you can't look at me then I am right."
They could both hear her mutter under her breath, 'fucking hell'. They both wanted to be sick knowing that Michelle had been through even worse than they had realised. How the hell had she even gotten this far?
Michelle leant over and picked up the phone beside the bed. Tony and Charlie were confused, "What are you doing Chelle?"
"I'm calling Ryan. He will have to tell me what is written in that transcript, he has no choice..."
Tony's voice was raised, "What so you know how much to tell again or not?" He rounded the bed and pulled the phone out of the wall. He was fuming beyond belief. He understood how she must be feeling, if anything written in that transcript was true he would be amazed at how she had gotten through any of this at all. The way he may have spoken to her, the things he said and the way he spoke would be enough to haunt anybody for the rest of their lives. Admitting it and facing it to anybody would be one of the hardest things Michelle might ever have to face but he knew so well that if she didn't deal with it then she would never be able to get past it. And if he and his Dad didn't completely understand what she had been through they wouldn't be able to offer her the correct support she needed. She looked stunned that he had pulled the phone out of the wall. He could see she was trying to figure out what to do next.
He tried to soften his tone but it still came across as full of anger, "Baby, whatever it was that happened, whatever it was that he said to you, we can handle together. Can't you see how much we love you? How much we want to help you get through this? And don't you want Sam prosecuted to the absolute maximum he can get?"
"He will already get jail time Tony, none of this will change that."
Tony's phone rang again, it was Chappelle. He told them he had to answer it. He stepped out of the room leaving Michelle and Charlie alone. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to use a calm voice. "What are you so scared of Chelle? We have already read it now. What has got you the most worried about all this?"
"Charlie look at how you guys are acting...look at Tony, he looks like he could literally kill Sam. I've never seen him so angry. He is barely coping with what has happened so far, as if I want to make it worse."
"But you guys are about to have a baby together, getting married and start a whole new life together. Can't you understand why Tony feels like he needs to understand everything you have been through? If the situation was reversed, wouldn't you want to know exactly what Tony had been through?"
He had her there. Of course she would.
"Chelle, I know you are feeling really insure about so many things. About how Tony feels about you. Before he came into the room before you told me that you were worried he couldn't see past the bruises and that he was turned off...is this what is making you so scared right now?"
"Of course it is Charlie! I know he loves me, I know he would do anything for me but...but..." This was so hard and embarrassing to be talking about.
He gentle urged her to continue.
"When Tony is kissing me, he is ok but as soon as he sees the bruises, especially the one on my chest, he just looses it. And that is just what he is seeing. I know he can't stop thinking about another man touching me so I can only imagine what he must be thinking. I don't want to make it all worse. I just want us to get back to normal life. Back to being happy and excited about our future, I don't want to keep taking steps backwards..."
She didn't have a chance to finish because Tony came storming back into the room. He was seething. His eyes were darting all over the place and he was holding the phone in his hand so hard his knuckles were white. He took a deep breath. "Seeing as Sam is starting to get better and they are going to have to organise where he will be taken to next, CTU took the case straight to the courts to make sure he was denied bail until the case can be presented. They think this is going to go to court, with a jury...the whole works. They want Sam behind bars for as long as possible, as we all do."
Michelle looked at him, trying to digest what all this meant. Having this presented in front of a jury would be her worst nightmare.
Tony stared at her. "You know if this goes that far...and it will, all of this will come out anyway. Those transcripts will be used against him and..."
"I'm not getting up and testifying." She turned to Charlie, "You can't tell me you would want Jess to have to go through getting up on a stand and facing Sam and reliving all of this?"
Charlie didn't know what to say. He hadn't even thought this far ahead. This whole thing was just getting worse by the minute.
Tony looked like he was on the verge of tears. "Baby, there might not be a choice in the matter. Either way though, all of this is going to come out. What if half of this transcript is just bullshit..."
Michelle had had enough, she had been completely pushed to her limit. There was no way out of this, other than to just tell them everything. "Alright, alright I'll talk."
Both men couldn't believe it. They sat on the bed, Tony went to sit next to her and pull her into his arms but she wouldn't let him, she was to too on edge and angry that this was happening. She could see he looked hurt but she didn't know what to do about it. She kept her head down and spoke quietly. She went back to start from when Sam had taken her into the room on her own. For the next 25 minutes she revealed in detail everything that she could remember that had been said and done in that room. The horrific way that Sam had spoken to her and the things he had called her and said to her were all true from what was in the transcript. Michelle almost said it word for word what was written in it even though she hadn't read it. It was the most vulgar, repulsive way a person could be spoken to. She had never lied to Tony or Charlie about anything that had happened, she had simply spared them the details of how hateful and horrible the experience had been. Both men cried as they listen to her speak and Tony continually tried to touch her or hold her but she wouldn't let them near her. Sam had been a lot rougher with her than she had made out and he had treated her as though she was scum. One of the hardest things for the men to hear was that all the things Michelle had kept to herself were because Sam had made Michelle believe that if she didn't go along with what he wanted and when he was done with her, this was exactly what he was going to do to Jess. He had compared the girls and Michelle knew these things that had been said were something no brother or father could ever bare to hear about their daughter. Michelle had been refusing the rape kit and examination because it would have been so clear as to how bad the assault had actually been.
Michelle hadn't looked up once the whole time she spoke and her voice seemed to just quieter and quieter. She repeatedly tried to assure Charlie that she had tried to do everything she could to protect Jess and make sure she didn't know what kind of monster Sam really was or what might have happened to her. The entire time she spoke her skin felt like it was crawling and she wanted nothing more than to shower and just disappear.
Tony was mortified. How someone could ever speak and do those things to Michelle was impossible to comprehend. The fact that he had made her feel like she was all of the things he had called her was even worse. The rage continued to build up inside of him as he listened until he got to the point that he lost control. He stood up and paced for a second, trying his hardest to calm down. He couldn't. Finally, speaking with his teeth clenched he asked Michelle if she believed the words Sam had spoken.
"Yes, most of them. I'm trying not to but I don't understand how or why he could even think to say those things if they weren't true."
Tony lost it, he kicked the wall he was standing next to as hard as he could. Then dumped the table upside down before turning and smashing his hand into the wall with so much force that it went straight through the plaster board. Charlie jumped up and had to throw his arms around his son's chest and pull him away from everything. The whole time Tony screamed at them that this was his fault, if he hadn't made Michelle sit in the car on her own none of this would have happened. Charlie was yelling at Tony to calm down, Michelle was stunned and Jess and Natalie burst into the room wondering what the hell was going on.
Once Charlie had Tony so tightly in his arms he could barely move, silence over took the room. All that could be heard was their stifled cries and deep breaths. Tony's hand was covered in blood and Charlie told Natalie to grab his case. Before Tony knew what was going on, Charlie gave him an injection to calm him down. Charlie's eyes were darting between Tony and Michelle, he was scared to death of what she would do.
When Tony looked at Michelle and through the heaviest of tears told her how sorry he was that he hadn't protected her, that he would never forgive himself and he didn't deserve her, she burst into tears. She tried to tell him that it was him that had saved her that she loved him more than anything in the world and he was the reason why she was getting through any of this. She looked at Charlie and Tony and yelled, "This is exactly why I never wanted to say a fucking word about any of this. Nothing good can ever come of this. Why the hell did you make me do this? Why did you force me? Why didn't you just trust me that I knew what was best?"
Natalie and Jess were crying in shock over what they were witnessing. They had no idea what they had missed but they had never seen any of them in this state before. Charlie got Tony onto the bed. Michelle looked at his hand which was covered in blood. She felt sick. He wouldn't take his eyes off her and all he could do was keep telling her how sorry he was. He loved her so much but he had failed her and because of his actions she had been through hell and he didn't understand how she could want anything to do with him.
"Because I love you more than anything in the world. You were trying to protect me Tony. You could never have known what was going to happen. You did everything you could to protect me. Even when you were being shot at you still didn't give up. I love you more than you will ever understand Tony."
His eyes were starting to close as the medication really kicked in. Within moments he was asleep and the rest of them were left in silence for a moment. Charlie started to check and treat Tony's hand straight away. He got icepacks on his foot, luckily he had used his good one to kick the wall. He had Natalie help him as he did everything. He asked Jess to leave the room and told her he would come and see her as soon as he could. Michelle stayed close to Tony the whole time, stroking his hair and whispering how much she loved him. Charlie was relieved that Tony had not broken his hand, it was just covered in scrapes and bruises-the wall looked a lot worse than Tony.
Natalie and Charlie left the room for a few minutes once he had Tony taken care of. He figured he would sleep now for a little while. Michelle was still next to his side. Once outside the door, he asked Natalie to call Joanne and have her come to the safe house immediately. Whether Michelle and Tony wanted to or not, they needed help to get through this and he was going to force them into it. He also needed help and guidance and so did Jess and Natalie.
When he re-entered the room he saw Tony still passed out and Michelle in the bathroom. The shower was running and she was curled up in a ball on the shower floor crying. She was fully clothed. He opened the door and knelt down, she hadn't even noticed him. "Chelle..."
She looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "Let me be Charlie. I told you everything you wanted to know and now look at what happened. You will ever look at me the same way, Tony won't. Everything is a mess." She reached for one of the hand towels.
He tried to grab it from her hand but she tucked it on the other side of her body away from him. "Don't do this Chelle. Please dear god, don't do this. Come out and talk to me..."
"Talk to you? What more could you possibly want to hear? You know everything. You've seen everything, what more do you want?"
"I want us to keep getting through this. As hard as all that was, it was a major step forward in the right direction. You will see that soon, I promise."
"Do you want me to leave Charlie? Would it be better if I just leave?"
"You are not going anywhere. Ever. Joanne is on her way and when Tony is awake we are all going to talk to her. We are going to get through this."
"I was getting through this, we were all getting there. We even laughed a bit before. Now we have just gone backwards. I don't understand." She pushed her sleeve up and went to start washing her skin.
Charlie knew by the fact that she wasn't even trying to hide what she so desperately wanted to do that this was bad. He hated seeing the pain in her eyes, the look of being so completely lost and not knowing what to do was just soul destroying. He reached in and tried to grab the towel again but she wouldn't let him. "I have no problem in coming in there and taking that from you Michelle. I will not let you punish yourself anymore. It is over. From now on we all have to find a way of moving forward and feeling better. I will not let you keep feeling..."
"That's where you are wrong Charlie. You don't get it. This makes me feel better. I don't care if that is wrong anymore. My skin is crawling. I have to make it stop and I don't know any other way..." She looked at him and yelled, "I don't care anymore!"
He didn't know what else to do other than step inside the shower and pick her body up. She barley struggled but he had to forcefully make her drop the towel. He turned the tap off. She was shaking and crying and it was breaking his heart. "I need to get you out of here and into some warm dry clothes Chelle."
They stood there for a moment staring at each other. Suddenly Michelle leaned into him, "I'm so sorry. I am sorry I was so weak. I am sorry at what I am putting you through, I am sorry for what your whole family is going through."
He hugged her as tightly as he could. "Don't you dare say you are sorry. I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I can't believe what you have been through. I have no idea how you are getting through this at all. You are amazing Chelle, absolutely amazing."
She pushed her face into his chest. "Please help me Charlie, I can't handle this anymore. Please, please help me."
He pulled her back a little so he could see her face. He could see blood seeping through her wet clothes. He didn't think the stitches had come out or anything but she didn't have the cover on her wound and the heat of the water mixed with her top stuck to it was making it bleed. He whispered, "I will, I will."
The door opened and Tony walked in. His eyes looked hazy. "What's happening?"
Tony was relieved Tony was up. He was going to need his help in getting Michelle changed and checked out. "How are you feeling Tony? I need your help?"
Tony shook his head a little and stepped in next to them putting his arms around Michelle from behind. "I'm ok." He nuzzled his face into her neck. "I love you, I am so sorry I lost it."
"That's why I didn't want to tell you. I hate seeing you like that Tony."
He kept her close, "I had to know sweetheart. I just don't know how to get my head around what you have been through. I'd do anything to take it all away."
Charlie asked Tony to get Michelle into some dry clothes whilst he went to check on the girls. Tony got Michelle changed back into some dry clothes and they both slowly made their way back over to the bed. They were both physically and emotionally drained. They lay next to each other. Michelle took Tony's injured hand in hers and tears made their way down her cheeks. He kissed her, "Hey, hey, I'll be fine. We need to talk baby. Now that I understand everything, I really need to..."
Michelle pushed her head into his chest. "Can't you just hold me for a few minutes? I just need to be close to you."
He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "I love you and I never want to let you go."
Within minutes they had both drifted off to sleep. When Charlie stuck his head in the door and saw them wrapped up in each other arms like that he sighed in relief. No matter how big the blow out, no matter how bad things seemed to get, they always ended up back like this and that's how he knew they would make it. They were so perfect for each other, so in love, they would be ok. He closed the door and decided to let them sleep whilst Natalie, Jess and himself spoke with Joanne first.
Please if you are reading this take the time to review and let me know. No point posting on here if no one is reading this. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope you like it. Thanks:)