"Okay, let's get out of here before they can link us to the crime!" Britannia the fairy exclaimed as they ran (or in this case, one flew and the other ran) over the bridge that led to outside the forest and into the fields of Hetalia.

"The crime?" A quiet voice asked out of nowhere. Alfred turned around in surprise. "Huh? Hey- what the... "

"Okay, he's onto us." the fairy whispered. "Now go over there, and make something up... Now whatever you do, don't cave in."

Alfred nodded. "Hey, come on, what do ya take me for? " He walked over to the person. The person actually looked a lot like him, except he had longer hair.

"So, Alfred, where're ya goin'?" he asked as innocent as he actually was.

"NO! Please, don't call the cops!" Alfred begged. "How was I supposed to know that the Deku tree was flamable? I was unaware!" he cried.

"Huh?" the other person blinked. "Oh! I see! You're going to go catch the guy who burnt down the forest!"

"No, you fool, it was me!" Alfred cried. "I'm the one who-..."

The fairy cleared it's throat again. "Huh? Oh, right. Yes." he turned back to his look-alike. "That is the situation as far as you know."

"Oh, Al, you're so brave." Matthew smiled. "Here, take this with you." he held out a wooden ocarina to him. "In most adventures, uh... a musical instrument would be completely useless. But in this one... well, you never know."

Alfred accepted it, and inspected it for a moment.

"I got the- uh, um... the uh... okay, what is this thing?" The fairy facepalmed.

"It's an ocarina, silly. It's kind of like a flute, except it's shaped like a sex toy."

"Cool!" Alfred stopped with his mental guessing. "Well, I guess I better get going."

"Wait, Al, don't go..." Matthew looked at the ground in embarrasment. "I've always waited for the right moment to say this.. but, I may never get another chance."

He took in a breath, "I love you."

"Oh, Matachu-" "It's Matthew," "Right. I love you too. Y'know, I always have."

"So.. you'll stay?"

"Yes, I promise. Nothing you say could ever make me leave your side." He grinned. He didn't know that Matthew ment something completely different from what he thought was going on.

"Great! So, do you wanna come over to my place and watch my collection of Whoopi Goldberg movies?"

There was a silence. Alfred backed up a few steps, "...Um, that's sounds like a really fun-RUN AWAY!" and then ran off out of the forest.

Matthew sighed. "Why does no one like Whoopi Goldberg except me?"

-insert Whoopi plus one video here-

In Hetalia field, the grass was green and the sky was clear and blue.

"Man, that was scary..." Alfred sighed as he walked out of the entrance to the forest. "Well, at least the worst part is over now-" Britannia the fairy was cut off when they spotted an owl on a branch before them. It's eyes appeared bored and brown, and his hair was short-cut and neatly trimmed and jet black. Like an Asian owl.

"Hoot hoot! Alfred, look up here!" he called, "My name is Kiku McOwl. And it's my job to give you pointless information that which you either already know, or don't care about. For example, you already know that you're supposed to go to the castle and meet with the princess. But, some pointless information would be that she wears a green dress. Much like my uncle Albert..." he trailed on.

"Okay, is this guy going to just ramble on like this?" Britannia the fairy sighed.

"Nah, it looks like he's nearly done." Alfred shrugged.

"Are you sure?" The fairy looked down at him quizingly.

The blond nodded. "I'm positive. I mean, how much longer could he ramble on anyway?"

-Later That Day-

It was now night time as Kiku McOwl continued, "And that's when I ended up eating porridge instead of oatmeal for my breakfast this morning. Would you like to hear what I said again?"

"W-what?" Alfred looked up at him, flabbergasted. "Good God, no! "

"You have selected yes. " Kiku nodded. "Now, getting back to the story of my cross-dressing uncle, Albert..." he continued.

"...Should we ditch 'em?" Alfred turned to the fairy on his shoulder, who leaped up with vigor.

"Are you kidding? I thought you were never going to ask." he groaned. They continued walking on, leaving Kiku behind them.

-The Next Morning-

"And that's why the movie 'Transformers' will never happen in real life. Y- oh. He's gone. Oh well. I'll talk to these fanfiction readers. Would you like to hear about what happens in the next episode?

"For yes, review to this story.

For no, review to this story.

And for maybe, review to this story. You have selected no. Goodbye." and he flew away.

TBC

This one had me very satisfied. And if you didn't get the part where Alfred thought something different from Matthew, he thought he meant as a brother or something.

USUK FOR DA WIN~ 333

~Hari-sama