Once inside the main courtyard of the castle, Alfred congradulated himself. "Yes! We've finally broken into the castle."

"Great." the fairy groaned. "Now let's see if we can trick them into paying for the milk."

"You got it." Alfred grinned.

"Hey, you in the dress," he ran up to a girl who stood in front of a large window at the head of the courtyard. "We delivered your milk for 'ya. J-just to let you know, we need to accept payment before you open it... and..."

As she turned around, he was at a loss for words. She had long brown hair and green eyes, and wore a long green dress. "She's like the very definition of a fairy-tale princess." Britannia the fairy rolled his eyes.

"Hey, assface, how'd you get past my guards?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah... she sounds like a goddess, too."

She blinked. "Snotball, are you listening to me? I asked you a question."

"Huh? Oh, right. The guards. Well..."

-Seconds Earlier-

"And a breaking into the castle we shall go~" Alfred sang, skipping stealthily throught the garden where the guards were... guarding.

"Hey, Paul," one of the guards called, "Whassat noise?"

It took everything in Alfred's power to keep Britannia the Fairy from attacking the guards for misuse of the English language.

"Boy, dat's just one of 'dem talkin' hedges." the other guard replied.

"Gosh, Paul, you so smart."

Alfred sighed in relief and walked past them, going further into the garden.

A bit further in, he noted that there were the same guards. Again.

"Hey, Paul! Now 'dere go one o' dem walkin' hedges!"

"It was as epic as Metal Gear Solid and Splinter Cell combined." Alfred laughed smugly. The fairy facepalmed and sighed.

"I see." Princess Elizebeta replied, nodding. "Well, since you've broken into the courtyard, I'm going to throw you into the dungeon~"

"Aw, you're so sweet." he turned to the fairy. "Did ja hear that? She's giving us a room."

"Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?" the fairy groaned.

"And then, I'm going to throw you into the iron maiden." she laughed in a weird sadistic kind of way.

"Aww~ She likes rock music, too. That's so cute." Alfred sighed.

"Could you stop being so daft for one minute?"

"Then," Elizebeta tilted her head, thinking for a moment, "After a few months, I can execute you!"

"Umm..." Alfred laughed nervously. "Well, yeah. That one I can't find anything to be happy about."

"Then, I'll stick your- Hey, wait." she stopped. "Are you a fairy?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Alfred groaned. "Is it because I don't wear pants? C'mon, that's purely a comfort thing...You don't see- well, yeah he doesn't wear pants." he looked up at the fairy that sat on his shoulder.

"Hey! I can do that sort of thing! "he huffed. "Hitsu4hinaeva makes me. Plus, yeah... It's kind of a comfort thing."

"Nonetheless, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to that thing flying around your head."

"Huh?" Alfred looked up. "Oh, yeah. That's just B home diggy." He felt a glare being shot at him, so he took it back, "I mean... Britannia the fairy."

"Then, you must be from my dream!" Elizabeta gasped. "I had a dream where a boy in green burned down the forest, followed by a fairy. During which, a big vodka man tried to put it out and rescued children!

"I think that big vodka man represents you,"

"Umm... Y-yeah, that may be right." Alfred laughed nervously.

"And that kid with a fairy; he must represent..." she stepped out of the way and motioned for him to look in the window. "Him."

"Kay, well, let's just take a look here..." he inspected a bit closer.

He then saw a music video of a familiar man with a bit of fuzz on his chin dance completely naked... unless you count the rose between his legs.

"GAH! My virgin eyes!" He cried, holding his hands over his eyes. Britannia the fairy patted the boy's head while he, too, winced.

"Oh, sorry, that's Hitsu4hinaeva's trash room." she laughed. "I meant this one instead."

"Well, this seems like the same window, but okay." Alfred shrugged, stepping forward.

"Kol kol kol~" A man sang while coming to lean on one knee. "Good news, your Majesty! I've completed the orphanage you asked me to complete!"

"That's no way to address royalty..." Britannia the fairy coughed underneath his breath.

"That monster sickens me." Elizebeta shivered. "I suppose if you're going to save the world from him, then I guess I can't imprison you.." she sighed sadly.

"Alright, first plan of action is to get the other spiritual stones from the whore fish people- I-I mean the Zoras and the Gorons. Kay?"

"But.. how will that help save the world?" Alfred blinked.

"It wont. I just think they look pretty." She laughed. "Okay, tell you what, I'll give you an ocarina for your trouble."

"But I've already got one-" he was cut off. "Yours is a cheap piece of crap! Mine is much better. Now, get going. Gilbert will lead you out."

Alfred shrugged and started to leave until he met up with the white-haired man. "So... you're the guy that the princess had that dream about." he snickered. "In my dreams, men are big and strong and not wearing clothes- I mean, I'll teach you the song that puts that chick over there to sleep."

Alfred nodded, and Gilbert began by calling his little bird out. They sang,

"Whistle whistle~ Whistle whistle~" satisfied, he turned to Alfred.

"That was horrible!"

"Quiet!" he spat. "Now, you try."

"Okay." he shrugged and pulled out his ocarina and began playing. It was the most beautiful piece of music you ever did hear. Even Britannia the fairy wiped a tear from his eye as he finished.

"That was horrible, so I'ma destroy you with the palace guard's most powerful weapon!" he threw something down and there was a flash of light, but he had disappeared.

"Huh?" Alfred blinked. "Where'd he go?"

"I think he ran away from the flash of his own Deku nut." the fairy sighed.

TBC

Well, umm, this may be my longest chapter so far. :DDD

Thanks for sticking with it and whatnot. Hope it's funny enough. xDD

~Hari-sama