This is a soul-free Sam story.

The ghost-free damsel scrutinized the boys who just saved her life from her dead ex-boyfriend (always a tad unstable, that one,) and struggled to come to terms with what just happened.

"Ghosts are real."

"Yup. And monsters and demons and angels." The tall giant said in a bored fashion. Was his name even Dave Hope?

"Oh." She says, blinking in shock, "That's... Are witches real too?"

She had watched the Craft last night, and if there really was a shitton of Fairuza Balk's in the world...

"Yeah." The attractive blond says in an attempt at a comforting tone.

"Crap." She responds, "So virgin sacrifices..."

"Just their blood, really, is what's important." The brunette says.

"Oh."

They are quiet for awhile, the brothers anxious to leave her.

"What are your real names?" She asks.

"Sam and Dean Winchester."

"Oh, those guys on America's Most Wanted? With the blurry mugshots?"

"Awesome." Dean coughs to himself.

"Listen, are you-" Sam is cut off.

"I am a virgin."

Dean looks shocked.

"You? Wha-but. Lady, we just dusted your violent, possessive boyfriend."

"And we were waiting until marriage."

"But-You told us you weren't religious."

"So?"

"But-marriage?" Dean says with a pained expression.

"Yes. I don't need a religion to be moral... Jerk."

"Bi-" Dean cuts himself off and shakes his head. "Sorry. So... You are a virgin."

"Not anymore I am. Who wants to take it from me?"

Dean chokes on air.

Sam smirks.

"Well, if you-"

"Sam!" Dean hisses at his brother.

"Dean!" Sam mocks back.

"Virgin!" She throws her hand up in the air, "I am not going to let some Fairuza Balk sacrifice me to her crazy Gods. So who's going to sex me up?"

"Dean." A rough, gravelly voice interrupts them, appearing behind them with a flapping sound. Like very powerful wings.

The man does not blink, and rather than wearing a suit and coat, they seem to hang off of him instead, separate from him. He looks at her for a second, and she is floored by the intensity of his eyes.

There are three of the sexiest men she's ever seen, right in front of her, and she is a frustrated virgin.

"Who's he?" She asks giddily, and Dean sends her a warning glass.

"This is Cas." He says reluctantly.

"Castiel." The man corrects, "I am an angel of the Lord."

"Oh. My God."

"Yes."

"Listen, lady, I'm sure you have a lot of guys in your life-"

"Do you know how small this town is? You think I'm going to just jump a man and not be labelled a whore the next day? No. One of you three." She smirks and approaches Castiel, "Is it true, Angels in America? Can you give me the orgasm of my life?"

"You.. No. Bad girl." Dean pulls the frustrated virgin away from Cas, looks at his brother, looks at the angel, weighs his options, and then finally hands the virgin off to his brother.

"I give up." He sighs, and drags Cas out of the room.

Author's Note: Yeah, we all love Dean's blue steel. But I am assuming they pulled in a favor and scrambled their records. I mean, with all of the big players they've had on their team over the years? That's a favor I would pull in.

Dave Hope is a former member of Kansas.