An Elementary Deduction
A/N: The basis for this isn't mine, I was searching for Sherlock Holmes on Yahoo! Answers when I came across this SH joke. I have come across mentions of it elsewhere, so I am thinking it isn't anything new? I don't know. (I will put the full version in at the end so as to not spoil the story.) But you can't really say I am plagiarizing because I rewrote it into the story! Also, it is probably the only thing I will ever write that outright makes fun of Holmes and Watson. Is it just me, or are these author's notes getting a bit too out of hand? You're right, I'll shut up now.
It was with great astonishment I received from Holmes one fine spring day an invitation to the countryside for a camping trip. Eager to escape the close atmosphere of London, I made my excuses to my wife, packed my bags, and set out.
Night set in and we put up our tent. Some hours later, after I had fallen soundly asleep, I felt myself wakened by a shake on my shoulder. I stirred groggily and wondered what on earth Holmes could want of me I the middle of the night in the wilderness. Before I could voice this he said,
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." I raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless replied,
"I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
I felt sure Holmes expected some sort of deduction from me. I pondered for a moment, many different scenarios of what to say filtering through my mind. Finally I decided that thoroughness would best please Holmes, so I told him them all.
"Well," I began, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." I glanced sideways at Holmes, and seeing his expression, quickly demanded, "What does it tell you?"
He was silent for a moment. Then he turned his head and fixed me with a gaze as though he were studying a particularly dense student.
"Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.''What does that tell you?'Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.' Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'