"Sooooo, where are we going?" Asked Shawn, his implied height preventing him from keeping pace with the Hitman.

"Somewhere," Replied Bret, dragging Shawn down some random hall as he realized he'd stormed out of the locker room and taken a wrong turn. Muttering curses under his breath, he ducked down another hallway and past some crew members setting up for a promo.

"And what are we gonna do when we get there?" Asked Shawn, panting. It was his turn to curse now as he realized that his legs were WAY shorter than Brets, though he could have sworn that back in Montreal they were only an inch or two apart in height.

"Talk. I want some answers and the ones you've been screaming at me through the media for 12 years don't count. Christ you're slow," Shawn sighed at the comment

"Mary Sue put me in the Character Convenience Dryer. I'm shorter, but on the plus side, I look 20 years younger XD"

"Did you seriously just use a smily face in you're mocking offensive dialogue?" Asked Bret incredulously as he strode down another hallway, people stoping to stare at the sheer amazingness they posessed. Or, you know, they were just supprized that Heartbreak and Hart were'nt at each others throats.

"Yes I did. Cool huh?" Said Shawn, managing to sound smug even though he was huffing and puffing along in Bret's wake.

"Well, quit it. Its irritating," Glancing down at his attractive, OOC friend, the Hitman frowned. "Geez, Sue did a number on you. She hit you with the Oxymoron Spatula too, did'nt she?"

"Gee how could you tell? Was it the womanly figure/manly chest, or the feminin voice and deep bariton laugh?" Said Shawn dryly as they rushed down a hallway that could have been creepy or intriguing, dending on whose story you read. Hell, it even had the potential to be a plot point in the right hands.

"Now now, no need to be so bitchy," Soothed Bret, wondering why he was soothing his mortal enemy, but dissmissing the question after a moment. Cannon was discarded at the door of this fanfic long ago.

"Can't help it man, its in my OOC-ness. Oh look, a conveinently placed door to the parking lot!" Said Shawn, pointing to a door before them.

Bret scutinized it, contemplating the meaning of the big sighns around it. "Well I understand that," He gestured to the glowing sighn reading 'PLOT CONVENIENCE' "But I don't get that one at all," He pointed to the other sighn, which screamed in neon letters, 'BADLY WRITTEN FANSERVICE AND UNEXPLAINED FORGIVENESS '

Shawn waved a hand "Obviously, once we step foot through that door, the readers will be subject to poorly written sex scenes and you forgiving me for Montreal in some dumb manner that has no substance since the author can't come up with a real reason for you to forgive me."

"Because there is'nt one, maybe?" Asked the Hitman, reluctant to go through the door.

"Ouch Bret," Grumbled Shawn, staring at the floor with a hurt expression on his face.

Bret rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Get over yourself Michaels. Listen, I don't want to subject the readers to such unessisary torture. How about we skip the Plot Door of Doom and go get some coffee?"

Shawn let out a defeated sigh "Its no use Bret. We can't fight it."

Hitman scoffed "If theres ne thing I've learned about myself in this fic its that I'm damn near invincible. I can pretty much run around doing whatever the hell I want to whoever I want since I'm the manly one in this pairing. Meaning I have to protect and save YOU," He smiled at Shawn in an extreamly HAWT way. "And I choose to save you from the horrors of fanservice."

"Shawn looked at the Hitman, hopeful despite himself "But where will this fanfic be without meaningless sex covering up the shallow characters and lack of a plot?

Bret shrugged "Do you care?"

Shawn paused, thinking. Then he gasped, realising he had been in this OOC way too long. He was so used to just going along with the plot - or the lack there of - that he had forgotten what it was like to be himself. "You know what? You're totally right. Lets get the hell out of here and go get some coffee. Oh, and I will be paying."

Bret grinned, a small, amused grin that was'nt really that warm or overly enthusiastic. Still, Shawn found himself liking this one more than the forced, darkly amused one he'd had before. The Hitman turned, heading away from the door. "No arguements there Shawn," He paused, savoring the feel of the mans name "Holy shit, I actualy called you by you're NAME instead of mutilating it or giving you some retarded pet name."

"Yeah, and look!" Shawn sepped close to Bret, until their noses were almost touching and held a hand between their foreheads "I'm back to being an inch taller than you."

Bret snorted "You woud be focused on the physical," They headed down the hallway as something struck the Hitman suddenly "Man, I just realized, we can use this 'Bret is the god second only to the author' thing to our advantage."

Shawn cocked his head "How?"

Bret smirked "Like this," He walked down a random hall, confusing the Heartbreak Kid

"How does waltzing down some random hallway equate to abusing your author given powers...?"

Bret just shrugged, stoping at the nearest door and opening it "Take a look."

Shawn shot his companion an odd look, but complied, peering into what he expected to be a broomcloset or lockerroom.

What he saw instead was a cozy looking coffee shop, complete with customers and big windows at the front that looked out onto a busy city street. The Heartbreak Kid glanced at Bret, grudgingly impressed despite himself. "Show off," He declared, though not unkindly.

Hitman shrugged "Hey if you got it, be proud of it. So, ready to buy me some coffee?"

"Oh hell yeah. I'm not sure if its just because of the fanfic, but I am actually kind of attracted to you," Said Shawn, leading the way into the cafe.

"Hey, maybe I'll get payed extra for that erotic fansevice after all then," Said Bret, causing Shawn to laugh as they sat down in a booth and enjoyed their coffee and each others company.

ATTHS. In a grungy hotel room. On the floor. With Hunter.

Maybe XD