Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. Nor do I own anything by Steve Maraboli including his poetry
Review Reply to Mahdi - Thanks for the review :) I hope it lives up to expectations!
A/n: Exams scare me. A lot. If you have exams coming up as well, I hope this makes you feel better :) Enjoy.
4) When Times are Tough Dare to be Tougher
We find the elevators quickly and get in next to the tributes from District 11. They don't say anything to us. They don't even look at us, which isn't exactly polite but I guess there isn't a way to politely wish someone would die. On the fifth floor, Oleander and Apa meet us and tell us to get washed. They point out our respective rooms and then watch us to make sure we go in. This confuses me – it's not like I want to spend the rest of my life dressed like this. But nothing good can happen if I point this out so I go quietly.
Thankfully, the grey paint comes off easily. Once I'm washed (for the third time today? I've never been so clean in my life!) (sadly, that's not an exaggeration), I dress in the first set of clothes I find and inspect the room. To put it simply, everything I've already said was amazing pales in comparison. The room is huge with a view of the city buildings. Everything is made with fine material. There's some kind of menu thing which tells me that if I say any kind of food it will appear. I don't believe it so I ask for carrot and coriander soup. A bowl of carrot and coriander soup appears which just goes to show that Capitol signs don't lie (unlike the rest of the Capitol). I don't particularly want it but I eat it anyway. I don't like to waste food. Primarily because I've never been able to waste it.
The one thing this room lacks is any form of entertainment. I'm beginning to suspect that Capitol citizens really do just look at their belongings all day. Of course, the rooms at home don't have any entertainment in them either but considering we can barely afford food, entertainment would be too much. Yet we have home-made games and so on.
But then, these rooms are just holding pens for people who are going to die. We are the entertainment. I guess you don't entertain entertainment. Even if you do spend more than my parents will ever earn on them.
There's a knock on my door. Mattis shouts that it's time for dinner. I leave my room and head with him to the dining room. I'm really beginning to regret that soup.
"How do you think you two did?" Oleander asks once we've sat down. Apa, Aculeo, Iunia and a woman who I'm told is called Herenna are also there.
"Badly?" I ask.
"Mattis?"
He jolts slightly. "Er ...I guess, uh ... not as well as, uh, most people?"
When he speaks like that, I have the irrepressible urge to slap him until he talks normally. But slapping and shouting at people doesn't usually get better results – it just makes them resent you. I wonder if the Capitol ever realised that. If they did, they ignored it since we still have the Hunger Games.
"Sit up straight, Mattis," Aculeo snaps. Mattis automatically sits upright. Somehow, I don't think this is going to help his confidence. "The pair of you were dismal compared to the tributes from One and Two," he continues.
"How is that our fault?" I ask.
"It's no one's fault," Oleander snaps, reminding me that I'm trying to stay on Iunia's good side. "The other tributes simply look stronger." Then he glares at me as though it's somehow my fault that I don't have bulging muscles and weigh twice as much as I do now.
"You need to impress in other ways." I decide Apa really does have better people skills than Oleander. Or she's a nicer person.
"So, what do we, uh ... what d'we do?" Mattis asks.
"Neither of you are up to playing with the big weapons," Oleander answers. "You need to learn survival skills. And some of the smaller weapons. Throw some knives or something."
Clearly, precision was never his strong point.
"Can we at least try the bigger weapons?" I ask.
"Do whatever you want, if you think you can handle it," Oleander answers dismissively.
"But don't train together," Apa adds. We look at her. "If you still want to be a team, let it be a surprise. The more separate skills you pick up, the stronger that team would be."
I try to get this straight in my head. We are to learn the survival skills and practice small weapons. However, we need to learn different skills. I can't help thinking that we're bound to overlap at some point.
The rest of the conversation is about more general advice for the Games such as what certain terrains will mean. After that, we watch the re-cap of the Opening Ceremony and then, finally, we're allowed to go.
Mattis and I stand outside our rooms. He wipes his forehead. "I am never being a tribute again," he mutters.
"No fear of that happening," I reply. He smiles. "We need to work out what skills we learn."
He shrugs. "Well, we just split up. How about this: mornings, you do survival and I'll do weapons. Afternoons, we'll swap."
"Why do you get the weapons first?"
"'Cause I'm a man. And I have to prove my machoness." He strikes a ridiculous pose and I can't help laughing. He grins. "Anyway, time for bed, d'you think?"
"We've got to get up early so I guess so," I answer. "Night, Mattis."
"Goodnight."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Once again, I'm woken up by Aculeo banging on the door. I contemplate taking a shower but I decide to leave it for now. Annoying the District Escort isn't high on my list of things to do (nor is being a tribute but at least this one, I can control). There's a tunic and a pair of trousers as well as some shoes laid out on the side with training marked on them so I pull them on.
I knock on Mattis' door and he comes out, dressed similarly to me. I wish him a good morning and he just smiles sleepily at me. In fact, he's silent all through breakfast. This isn't much different than usual though so I don't notice. He does kick me when I try to take extra food though. His kicks are getting stronger. I'm not sure this is a good thing – at least for my legs.
Aculeo tells us to take the elevator down to the basement level and leaves us to it. We go down and enter a giant room occupied by several workstations and trainers. There are no tributes.
"Is this the right room?" Mattis hisses.
"No," I reply. "This place is filled with workstations and basements. Come on, let's try the basement on the left."
He pulls a face. "'Yes' would've worked too, you know."
I grin. "I know."
"Where is everyone else?"
"Maybe no one else has a neurotic Escort?"
"You love Aculeo really."
"Yes, I want to have his children."
He simply laughs. "Someone's in a bad mood this morning." He pauses. "No, wait, you're always like this."
"Shut up."
The woman in the middle of the room beckons us over and pins something to our backs: a sign with the number five on it. Then she tells us to stand and wait for everyone else. As she says that, the tributes from District 2 enter. They don't seem at all confused by the lack of people and simply swagger over.
"Remember," Mattis hisses. "We're tough!"
"We're also not a team!" I hiss back.
"Oh, yeah."
I try not to smile but I can't help it. I do it at the same moment that I see the boy from District 2. He glares at me.
"Why're you smiling, girl?"
Tough, be tough.
"Why the hell not?" I ask. I almost want to glance at Mattis and ask if I sound tougher.
"You think something's funny?"
He doesn't look intimidated. Maybe this idea's not a good one after all. Still, as Mom says when we complain at home: when times are tough, dare to be tougher.
"Why's it your business?"
"Kiril, leave it," the girl says.
"I could kill you like that, you know," Kiril says, ignoring her. He snaps his fingers.
"I doubt you can kill by snapping your fingers."
He scowls. "You're on my kill list now, District 5."
"OK," I say as coolly as possible. But inside, I can't help feeling terrified. How the hell did I manage to get into this? No one told me not to get on anyone's kill list but I think that's because it's so obvious, it goes without saying. Yet, here I am. Two minutes and this tribute wants to kill me.
"Break it up," the woman says, coming over. Kiril draws his finger across his throat and walks away. I realise that during this, the tributes from District 4 have entered. The girl doesn't look at anyone but the boy looks at me and grins. Then he looks away. More tributes enter. I make sure not to catch anyone's eye.
Once everyone has arrived, the woman tells us that we have three days to make use of these workstations. We can practice weapons on dummies or on the trainers - not each other –, do various climbing exercises or learn survival skills. We'll have a break for lunch. Then she tells us we can start.
I immediately look for the survival skills and decide that I'd quite like to be able to eat so I head towards poisonous berries. The boy from District 1 is in my way, looking around. Suddenly, he turns around and walks into me.
"Watch where you're going," he snaps. His face sets into something which I think is supposed to be aggressive and he moves past me.
"Don't be so fricking rude," I snap back. I'm not sure why I'm picking fights with the toughest tributes but at least Mattis is right – I don't seem weak. Stupid, probably, but not weak. "It's not like you were watching where you were going."
He turns back and I see some surprise on his face. After a moment, he says, "Well, you should be watching me."
I watch him carefully as he says this. It almost seems like he's acting. Not like Kiril. More like he thinks he sounds tough but he just sounds like an idiot. I decide to take my chances (after all, I'm technically on his kill list anyway, not only for being in the Games but for being on Kiril's list, so if I make an enemy of him, it shouldn't matter).
"You're not that good-looking," I say, although as I say it, I realise I'm lying. He's easily the most handsome tribute here, with blond hair and deep blue eyes. I smile slightly. "You also sound like an idiot. Do you always talk like this?"
"Yes," he says but his face betrays him. Inside, I breathe a sigh of relief. My gamble is paying off. This boy isn't a psychopath like Kiril. He may even be normal.
"So rude and a liar. Nice." Seeing his shock, I can't help grinning. Then I decide, what the hell: if I've made an enemy of Kiril, I may as well make some kind of ally with this boy. Make it even. "I'm Anfisa," I tell him, "from District 5."
He raises an eyebrow. "Gloss, District 1." I keep grinning. His reactions are funny. I always thought these tributes would be more intimidating. Not shocked.
I decide I can't stand around talking (or not talking) all day. "Anyway," I say as though we've been having an interesting conversation rather than failed attempts at being tough, "I'm off to poisonous plants. Coming?"
I suspect I've taken this ally thing too far now. He won't want to come to poisonous plants. I don't think I want him to. I think I'd rather learn by myself.
He nods. I smile again, for lack of a response. Then I turn around and head towards the poisonous plants section He's right behind me. We don't exchange a word. When we get to the plants table, the trainer is extremely happy to see both of us and immediately starts telling us about warning signs for the plants and testing us. By the end of the hour, Gloss and I still haven't spoken to each other but whenever I glance at him, he seems to be looking at me. We're about equal on the poisonous plants front.
Once we're done we walk away together. He looks around. "Nice try, District 5," he says mockingly. "I'm going to wrestle." Then he walks off quickly before I have the chance to respond.
Still, if there's one thing I know, it's that I won't be any good at wrestling and I'll live longer if I hide in the arena. So I head towards fire-making instead. This turns out to be harder than I thought. The girl from District 7 is having no trouble getting her fire to start but considering she's from the lumber district, she's probably used to starting fires with twigs. Or stopping them, at the least. I can just throw logs into already burning fires or operate machinery. Not very useful here.
I finally manage to start fires consistently. I decide to try one more survival activity this morning and take up knot-making. Thankfully, I'm not only alone at this station but it turns out to be something I can do. I can't help feeling jealous of people like Kiril and Gloss who don't have to learn these skills because they'll just take the food from the Cornucopia. The Games are unfairly weighted towards them because the rest of us can't take that food and we may not be able to learn/use these survival skills to get our own.
At times like these, it's very difficult to remind myself that I can win. I focus on my knots. If nothing else, I could tie everyone up together. If they stood still anyway.
They sound a gong at midday to tell us that it's lunchtime. Obediently, I follow the other tributes to an adjacent room, filled with tables and food. Mattis is already sitting at a table so I sit near him. Neither of us speaks as we take our food. He looks exhausted; whenever I glanced at him during training, it always looked as though the weapon was getting the better of him. I would mock but I don't think I'm going to fare much better.
The tributes from Districts One, Two and Four are sitting together. They're talking loudly and making rude jokes, presumably to tell the rest of us that they're not scared of each other. When I look up, I catch Gloss' eye and, to my surprise, he smiles and nods at me before turning to the boy from District 4.
"Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to ask you," Mattis murmurs. "How did you make friends with District 1?"
"I acted tough," I reply truthfully. He snorts.
"You did that to District 2 as well and now he wants to kill you."
"Guess they're different people." I pause. "And thanks for reminding me."
"Sorry." We haven't looked at each other once during this conversation and it's starting to feel awkward. Mattis seems to feel it too. "We'll talk later."
"OK."
And we go back to eating lunch in silence.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The Gamemakers are sitting in the room, watching us as we enter. I can't help staring at them before I force my gaze away. They're just as intimidating as I imagined them to be. I don't know how I'm going to concentrate now.
Mattis looks relieved as he walks towards the camouflage section. I look around and decide to start small. Knives. Apart from stones, knives are probably my most likely weapon in the arena. The most effective use of them would be to throw them but then I would be without a weapon.
The female tribute from District 4 is there and aiming perfectly. All of the stronger tributes have spent the day showing off their great weapon skills. This means I know all of their strengths now but since I'm not in a position to do anything about this, it's not helpful. Unless I can find a way to keep them away from the weapons.
My head is filled with a sudden image of Mattis and I hiding behind a tree with an armful of weapons each. Even in my imagination, the weapons are getting the better of us.
I shake my head and walk towards the scary District 4 girl and the knives. The boy from District 9 is also there but he wanders away quickly. I pick up a knife. Spotting me, the trainer walks over and demonstrates some basic moves with the knife before showing me how to throw it. He tells me to practice on a dummy and corrects my movements. I try throwing the knife as he wanders away again to watch the girl from District 4. If my dummy was two feet taller, it would have been a good throw.
"Useless, Anfisa," I hear a voice murmur. "You're completely useless at this."
"Don't be so fricking rude," I murmur back as I look at Gloss. He smirks and throws a knife at my dummy. It hits its chest. "Show off."
"Just talented."
I scowl at him and go to retrieve my knife. He walks next to me, picks his own knife up from the dummy and then watches me try to aim. It gets closer this time.
"So," he says conversationally, as he passes his own knife to me, "I hear you're on Kiril's kill list." I feel a stab of dread go through me at these words but Gloss hasn't stopped smiling. "Don't get too excited," he continues, "I think we're all on it now. Are you throwing that or what?"
Obediently, I throw the knife. It hits the dummy's forehead. "You're very talkative all of a sudden," I comment as I start to walk over to the knives. Once again, he heads to the dummy and picks out his knife.
He shrugs. "We're on Kiril's kill list. We're practically family." I look at him. He doesn't seem to watch what he says. I wonder if it's by accident or done purposefully.
"How did you end up on it?" I ask.
"My sister won the Games last year and not someone from District 2."
I wait for further elaboration but he just smiles.
"Is that it?" I ask eventually.
He laughs. "Yes. Like I said, we're all on it. Quartz is on it because she called him arrogant. Teo's on it because he said he thought you were funny this morning. Savannah's on it because she won't say anything. Even Loren's on it and his reason is because she's a girl." I stare at him. "Oh, yeah, the boy from your district – on it because he can't use a sword properly. Guy from District 6? Looked a bit too smug. I think the only people who aren't on his list are District 12 and that's because they're going to end up killing themselves, apparently."
I realise that I haven't thrown my knife yet. I stand further back, aim and miss. Typical.
"He sounds very peaceful," I comment.
Gloss throws his knife. "At least you're not allied with him. It's like listening to a psychopath."
I laugh and then I stop because the girl from District 4 – Savannah? – is looking directly at me and Gloss. Looking to my right, I realise that Gloss has spotted this as well. For a moment, I feel uncomfortable.
"I think I've practiced knife-throwing enough," I mutter.
"No. You still need help, District 5," he answers and smirks at my scowl. "I don't need any practice though. Maybe I'll see you somewhere else." He pauses. "Maybe we'll run into each other. Very politely, of course." Then he walks away, laughing as my scowl deepens. But I can't help smiling.
Savannah keeps on looking at me. I try to focus on throwing knives and after a few minutes, she walks away. I can't help feeling uneasy. But then, why should it matter to me if people notice that Gloss and I are speaking to each other (or, at least, insulting each other in a way which appears friendly)? It's very unlikely that they'll ever need to draw me out somewhere by threatening him. And it's to my advantage anyway, if they threaten to kill him. Though it probably works the other way around too.
For some reason, though, I don't like the idea of him dying. I don't particularly like the idea of anyone dying but if I think of Mattis and now Gloss, I really feel strongly about it. It makes sense, in relation to Mattis, but I don't exactly know Gloss. Maybe it's because he hasn't threatened to kill me.
I spend the rest of the afternoon working with a slingshot – I have surprisingly good aim with this – and attempting the mace (I'm rubbish). By the end of the afternoon, I'm exhausted and it's a relief to walk back to Floor 5. As soon as we exit the elevator, Mattis asks me about Gloss. I tell him, truthfully, that I don't think we're allies as such or even friends. When he asks if I'm sure, I tell him that no, actually we're getting married tomorrow and he can be the pageboy. A lot of my jokes today seem to be centred around relationships.
He pulls a face. "I was just asking. How much would I be paid for being the pageboy?"
I laugh. "Nothing."
"I'm not doing it then." He smiles and then his face grows serious. "But, seriously, Anfisa: any chance of getting Gloss to ally with us?"
I think about it. "He ... I don't know. I doubt it. I think he just finds me funny but I'm not really alliance material. Not like those other tributes. You're on Kiril's kill list by the way."
"I don't know, if he likes you he ... wait, what? I didn't do anything to that guy!"
I explain about Kiril and his placing everyone on his kill list. Mattis tells me I nearly gave him a heart attack. I point out that he's still on this kill list but Mattis seems unperturbed. I suppose there are only so many threats you can be given before you start to become immune to them.
We go back to our rooms, shower and change before heading to the dining-room for dinner. Before we enter, I ask Mattis not to mention Gloss. Understandably, he looks at me as though I'm insane and asks me why. This stumps me because I haven't thought of a reason yet. I just don't want to tell our mentors about him. Nevertheless, Mattis agrees and we head into dinner.
They ask us about what we learnt in training. I relate my attempts. Neither of them seem impressed. Mattis, in his stuttering way (although he stutters less now) tells us that he could barely lift the sword, he couldn't wrestle anyone but he was surprisingly good with a bow and arrow. As for survival skills, he was average at all of the ones he tried. I think that's what he says anyway. Listening to someone stutter for an extended period of time makes mental translation quite tiring.
We talk about the other tributes. I mention Gloss' ability with knives but that's the only thing we say about him. Apa and Oleander actually seem pleased with the information we gathered here. They advise me to try the snares and net sections tomorrow and to maybe try one or two of the bigger weapons. They tell Mattis to try more survival skills and to focus on smaller weapons. They let us go after that.
Later that night, I try to put my thoughts about the day in order. For some reason, I keep thinking about the conversations Gloss and I had. I suppose that, ignoring training, they were the most significant part of my day (as well as Kiril's death threat) so it makes sense to analyse them. But not to this degree, surely.
I suddenly realise that I've barely thought about my family at all. But the moment I do, I begin to feel anxious about how they must be feeling so I push them out of my mind again. If only I couldn't think at all. Life would be so much simpler then.