Empty Promises, Broken

Empty Promises, Broken

Ch 9-Music is LOVE

Bella POV

This was the one time I wish I could cry and sleep. By now my eyes were a deep blue. Blue for sadness, no one sat next to me thankfully but they sat across the aisle from me. None of them dared to speak to me.

They probably though that this was temporary. I had my iPod on and I was listening to my music. An Evanescence song came on. It was one of my favorites and it matched my mood.

I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me ?
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side ?
Will you forgive me ?

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

(Return to me salvation)
(I want to DIE!)

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied ?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.

I zoned out once again just to block out all the pain I felt. I felt numb the way I liked it at times like these. I stared out my window. About an hour later the attendant asking me if I wanted something to drink shook me out of my trance and I politely said no and paid attention to the music playing again.

Are you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor.

You say you feel as I do

You say you're here every moment.

Will you stay? Stay until the darkness leaves. Stay here with me. I know you're busy I know I'm just one But you might be the only one who sees me

The only one to save me

Why is it so hard?

Why can't you just take me?

I don't have much to go on

Before I fade completely

Can you feel how cold I am?

Do you cry as I do?

Are you lonely up there all by yourself?

Like I have felt all my life.

The only one to save me.

How are you so strong?

What's it like to feel so free?

Your heart is really something

Your love, a complete mystery to meAre you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor.

Do you cry, cry with me?

Cry with me tonight.

Are you there?

Are you watching me?'

Again I went back into my trance for which I was grateful for again. It was for another hour I think. At least that's what it felt like but it was actually five minutes. I was taken out of my trance this time because someone tripped, fell and started to bleed. She reminded me of my human self. I went back to my music hoping to get some relief with it and found another one of my all time favorite songs. It was AFI.

This is what I brought you this you can keep,
This is what I brought you may forget me.
I promised to depart just promise one thing,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

This is what I brought you this you can keep,
This is what I brought you may forget me.
I promise you my heart just promise to sing,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

This is what I thought,
I thought you need me,
This is what I thought so think me naive,
I promise you a heart you promised to keep,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

I had another zone out. I got to the state where I was happiest when I felt like this so I was glad. The music just helped me achieve the state of semi consciousness. But I was still unbelievably upset. I still think it's my fault, even if Edward thinks otherwise. It really was my fault. I was trying to take my mind off Edward now so that state I was in wasn't safe any longer so I listened to what was on my iPod. It was an interesting song, Angels by Within Temptation

Sparkling angel
I believe
You are my saviour
In my time of need

Blinded by faith
I couldn't hear
All the whispers
The warning's so clear

I see the angels
I'll lead them to your door
There is no escape now
Now mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

Chorus:
You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn to real
You broke the promise
And made me realize
It was all just a lie

Sparkling angel
Couldn't see
Your dark intensions
Your feelings for me

Fallen angel
Tell me why?
What is the reason?
The thorn in your eye

I see the angels
I'll lead them to your door
There is no escape now
No mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

Chorus

Could have been forever
Now we have reached the end

This world may have failed you
It doesn't give the reason why
You could have chosen
A different path of life

The smile when you tore me apart

Chorus:
You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn in to real
You broke a promise
And made me realize
It was all just a lie

Could have been forever
Now we have reached the end

I remembered this song. I got this when he first got me the iPod. He knew I wouldn't receive it so he filled it up with music and gave it to me for Christmas. But I actually accepted it. I love music and grew very attached to my iPod. It was blue of course.

It was basically my whole life other than Edward. When he wasn't around music helped me feel better. This wasn't fair! I finally get to be with Edward and my family makes us move. I hate my family for this. Just then the plane started to descend. Was it two days already?

I didn't even notice the time change. The plane came to a complete stop and the lights turned on and everyone got up and stretched. My family stood up and I lagged behind as we got off the plane.

'bBella?/b' I heard well thought a voice call me. For a moment it sounded like Edward but it was Brett. I looked up and he was staring at me.

'What?' I asked.

'Are you okay?' I was getting annoyed but I answered the question anyways.

'Yea I'm fine.' I sounded dead though.

'You sure? Your eyes are black.'

'Yea, I'm sure don't worry.'

He still looked worried. So I forced a smile. That seemed to convince him because he looked away and started walking through the terminal with everyone else. I was at the front, which bothered me a lot.

Did they not trust me or something? Did they think that I would try and go back or something? I think it was both. Just then my phone rang.

'Hello?' I asked.

'Bella?'