Hey all. Thanks so much for the reviews, alerts, and just plain reading last chapter. You guys are truly awesome.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, please drop me a comment if you can, and I really hope to see you in the next chapter.
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Bye...
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Steve…
Thursday morning found me entering the kitchen to the smell of strong coffee. I wasn't sure how many cups Danny had had, but the way he was feverishly pacing back and forth, looking down at the same file he had been obsessing over since we got the Marla Oliver case, I was betting it was more than two.
"What time did you get up?" I asked heading toward the fridge and taking out a bottle of orange juice from inside.
"A while ago," he answered evasively. Meaning he probably hadn't slept again. Hell, I wasn't even sure when he had eaten last, either. Jameson had expressed her concern about him to me yesterday, and had once again reminded me about the ramifications of allowing him to continue to work this case. I'm sure she warned Danny about the same things when she talked to him, but couldn't be one-hundred percent sure. He hadn't exactly been very chatty yesterday.
"Are you expecting a call?" I asked when I turned to see him fiddling with his phone.
"It's noting," he said quietly before draining his coffee cup and heading outside. I turned to watch him out the window, eyebrows furrowed. He was pacing back and forth, his phone glued to his ear.
As carefully as I could, I crept toward the door, and pushed it open just a little to hear him. "…six times already, Matilda. If you'd get a frigging cell phone we wouldn't be having this problem…" he trailed off, sighing. "Look, Grace's school has been hassling me about paying the tuition. I don't have the money, and I need it by Friday. I was wondering…" he put a hand to his forehead, taking a breath. "Just call me please." I shut the door as he hung up, moving toward the counter.
It made perfect sense… kinda. Danny had been in a mood toward the school for a few days now. No doubt the private school's admissions office wanted money early to reserve Grace's spot. I didn't dare think how much Danny needed to come up with. And the pure fact that he had swallowed his pride and called Matilda Parker meant he was scraping the barrel of his options. No wonder he was so tired and was barely eating. The stress alone wasn't helping much. And add it to not dealing with Rachel's death, worrying about Grace all the time, and having to decide whether or not to take a job back home it was a wonder he was still holding on to the thin strands of control he had left.
Of course, if he'd have come to me with some of this burden… Well, I wouldn't be able to help him much with the money thing, but I'm sure together we could figure something out. We were partners, he shouldn't have to shoulder everything on his own.
The door opened and Danny slipped back into the house. I composed myself and said, "Why'd you go outside?"
"Better signal. I was just checking to see if Chin found anything on those two Samoans, yet." I wouldn't have believed the lie even if I didn't know what the phone call was about, but I decided to humor Danny anyway.
"And, did he?" I asked curiously.
"No," he responded pouring himself another cup of coffee. I noticed how his hands slightly trembled, and the redness of bloodshot eyes made his blue irises stand out. I was worried about him. Hell, we all were worried about him.
"Jameson said she'd call when Malloy arrived," I informed him. He nodded, taking a swig of his coffee. We were quiet for a second then I said, "Are you sure you're…?"
"Steve, stop," he said cutting me off. "I'm fine." He drained the mug again, stuck it in the sink, and headed toward the living room. "I'm gonna get Grace up."
I should just sit him down and force him to talk about this. But I knew I couldn't force Danny to do anything he didn't want to do. He didn't take orders from me, ever. And when I tried to give him an order, he'd merely ignore me, scream at me, or rant at me. Actually, I wouldn't mind him ranting at me, again. It'd sure beat the obsessive, un-Danny-like pod-person running around.
My phone rang. I put my juice on the counter, took it from my pocket, and said, "Yeah, Governor."
"He's here…"
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Malloy was a squirrelly guy with brown hair and eyes. He kept looking around the room, almost as if he were expecting someone to jump out and kill him. As nervous as he appeared, I was surprised he managed to keep quiet for so long. Of course, looks could be deceiving. I knew firsthand how true that comment was. I mean, I hung around Danny for most of the week…
"Oscar Mason," Danny started as I lurked in the shadows. He wanted this one, I gave it to him. But I was also keeping an eye on him, making sure he followed procedure… Again, I felt dirty using cop terms. I rarely used procedures, but Jameson wanted Malloy in one piece. And I dare not go against her. Otherwise she'd unload her wrath on me, and I would really like to avoid that.
"Who?" Malloy said his face blank.
"I hate, hate, hate people who play dumb," Danny said shaking his head. "It's a pet peeve of mine. Right up there with liars, thieves, and dumbasses who land themselves in jail because they can't pick better friends."
"I was only arrested because somebody flipped on me and my boys," Malloy responded slowly, his face still blank. "I don't know who this Mason guy is."
"Right? I'm sure." Danny moved to stand behind Malloy and said, "So, is this the same tactic you used with the FBI? Play dumb until they just gave up and withdrew their deals?"
"Play dumb? Who said I was…?
"Okay, I am getting sick and tired of this." He turned to me and said, "So?"
"So, what?"
"Roof dangling, shark tank dumping…" his face brightened, "The car thing was actually pretty fun. I even still have the rope in my trunk." I noticed Malloy pale slightly, but he still managed to keep his face blank.
"Threatening me…" he stammered his voice cracking.
"No, not threatening. More like… More like an incentive to help you speak." Danny nodded meeting Malloy's eyes. I didn't like how he was talking. Only once did he do something insane, and that was when he was trying to prove Meka wasn't a dirty cop. But Meka had been just an ex-partner, a friend. Whereas Rachel... Well, Rachel was, or had been something more to him. I just didn't want to see him take it too far.
"I…I don't know…" Malloy was breaking. It seemed the FBI hadn't really tried threatening his life and safety.
"'I…I don't know…'" Danny mocked in a poor imitation of Malloy's squeak. "Come on, just tell us. Otherwise…" a small smile appeared on his face. One I hadn't seen before, and one I didn't like. "Otherwise, I'll be forced to start taking out joints." He pulled out his gun; Malloy's eyes two brown orbs. Okay, that was too un-Danny-ish in my book.
I stepped forward, grabbing his gun arm, and applied pressure to his wrist until he relinquished his grip on the gun. As it clattered to the ground, I kicked it out of Malloy's reach (just in case), and dragged a struggling Danny out of the room.
I threw him against the wall, rested both my hands on either side of him to keep him in place, and said, "What the hell's the matter with you?"
"Hey, if it gets him talking…"
"Go home," I interrupted hating how casually he was speaking about breaking protocol. Danny didn't break protocol, I broke protocol. And he hated when I did that, even when I thought it was helpful.
"What?"
"Go home, Danny," I repeated backing away from him.
"No," he argued jutting his jaw out stubbornly.
"I told you if you did anything, anything out of character for you I'd kick you off this case. And, as much I hate doing this, I have to kick you off…"
"Y…You can't…" he stammered shaking his head slowly. "I have to be a part of this…"
I took a breath and said, "Danny, go home. Please. I don't think Rachel would want you to do something…" a fist connected with my face, cutting me off. Shaking his hand, Danny stormed toward the elevators.
"Go home, Danny. Otherwise I'm sending a uniform home with you," I called after him running my tongue across my split lip. He didn't reply, just stepped into the elevator and pressed a button. I waited until the doors closed before I walked back into the interrogation room.
"You ready to talk?" I asked slowly stooping down to pick up Danny's gun.
Malloy watched the gun carefully as he said, "Your partner is crazy."
"No crazier than anybody whose wife had been killed because of Mason." Ex-wife, wife Malloy didn't need to know the actual details about Rachel's and Danny's relationship. And if he jumped to conclusions, if what little conscience he had left felt anything, then the lie would have been worth it.
"Mason never killed any women," Malloy said quickly obviously regretting the words the moment they left his mouth.
"So, you do know him?"
He sighed and said, "Not personally. I usually dealt with Harley…"
"Harley? Who's Harley?"
"One of his guys," he replied looking down at the floor. "He usually drives while Samson and Connors do his dirty work."
"Samson and Connors?" I walked out of the room, ducking into the viewing room. I nabbed a photo off the small table and headed back into the interrogation room. "Are these two Samson and Connors?" I asked showing him the traffic cam stills.
Malloy glanced at the photo for a second before nodding, "Yep, that's them. And…" he squinted and said, "And Harley's behind the wheel." I took the photo from him, looking at the driver side of the car. I wasn't sure how he could tell who was behind the wheel, but however he did it I didn't care.
"Do you know how to find Harley?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Malloy took a deep breath and nodded. "Where…?"
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Danny…
2005…
Rachel had been waiting for me when walked into the house. It had been a few weeks since our last argument, the neighbor still wasn't happy with me for destroying his custom made mailbox. We had been oddly formal with each other, trying to keep a civil tongue where Grace was concerned. But this time, I could just tell something was different.
"Who's Macy?" she asked the moment I stepped into the kitchen.
"What?" I was taken aback for a second by the hostility in her voice.
"Macy Paige? The woman who called your cell phone." She threw my phone on the table. It had been the reason I returned home so early. It would be hell if I went all day without it.
"Macy…" I thought a moment then it clicked. "Macy is Matty's assistant. Why? Who did you…?" I trailed off knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Really? This again?"
"Well, I didn't know."
"And you automatically assumed I was cheating on you?" I laughed once, humorlessly, before saying, "Wow, you've got so much faith in me. I just don't know what to do with it…"
"Danny, you are always late. I just kind of figured…"
"No, you just jumped to conclusions. Like you always do." I shook my head. "Anything else you think I'm up to? Wanna check with my partner to make sure I'm not sneaking off to the strip club on my break…"
"I'm sorry," she snapped. "It's just Lauren…"
"Oh, so Lauren suggested I was cheating, again. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was in cahoots with your mother."
"Oh, that is just low. My mother never said…"
"No, she implied it. That woman has had it out for me since we met." She glared at me for a second, huffed, and then started toward the door. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get our daughter, and perhaps stop by Lauren's. That is, if I'm allowed. We wouldn't want her and my mother influencing my bad choice in husbands," she responded and stormed toward the door. She slammed it behind her before I could say anything else…
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Present Day…
I couldn't believe the mess I had made things. Even my own damn partner didn't want me around. I sat against the wall in Steve's house, sipping my third beer. My phone had been ringing for the past three hours. Kono and Chin had called several times and Steve had tried calling once, but I had ignored each call.
I drained my beer, setting the bottle next to the others. I leaned my head against the wall, watching the room spin in lazy circles. I guess my uncle Barry was right, never drink on an empty stomach.
My eyelids drooped, my head buzzing, and I felt myself drift off to sleep…
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2006…
"I was not looking at her," I argued holding an ice pack to my head as I followed Rachel around the room.
"Really? Then what, may I ask, were you looking at?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.
"The van behind her," I said sighing. This argument was getting old, fast. Especially when it started in the ambulance after my head met an oak tree.
Rachel scoffed, "You expect me to believe that?"
"It's the truth, Rach," I protested. "I swear to you."
"And why was that 'van' so important?"
"Because I swear I'd seen if before." I was telling her the truth. The van had been following me since I had been assigned this new case. It was almost like a warning, something I had hoped wouldn't happen. If the criminals started going after Gracie and Rachel there was no way to separate my home life from my work life.
"Where?" she was suddenly not so mad at me. She was, dare I say, a little scared. I, too, was a little scared. But I couldn't tell her that.
"All over. It's been following me."
"Is this because of your job?" she asked slowly meeting my eyes. "And please, do not lie to me." I tucked my lip between my teeth and nodded. She nodded, too, and headed toward Grace's room.
"What are you doing?" I asked following her.
"I'm taking Grace to your mother's," she replied opening the door. Gracie looked up from her dolls, giving us a questioning look.
"What wrong?" she asked. It was disconcerting how perceptive she was for three and a half.
"Come on sweetie," Rachel said scooping her off the ground. "We are going to grandma's house."
"Rachel," I protested as she carried Gracie toward the door.
"No, Danny. Until you figure out what this man wants…" she trailed off shaking her head. "I can't risk Grace's safety…"
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Steve…
Present Day…
I had sent Chin and Kono to get Harley in Chin's Traverse while I borrowed Kono's Cruze to check up on Danny. He hadn't been answering any of our calls, and I just hoped he wasn't doing anything stupid.
When I stepped into the house I found Danny sitting against the wall, clearly asleep, a few beer bottles sitting next to him. I rolled my eyes, heading toward him. I crouched down, put a hand on his shoulder, and shook it. He didn't wake, his head only turned to the left and he whispered, "Rachel wait…"
Uh, oh. It was what Grace had been talking about: his sleep talking. I wasn't sure what he was dreaming about exactly, but Rachel did have a starring role. This couldn't be good.
"Come on, Danny," I whispered shaking his shoulder again.
"I…I can't…" his head turned to the right.
"Wake up." I didn't want to hear anymore. The dream was getting worse, heading toward nightmare territory. For someone who dealt with nightmares, some worse than others, I knew firsthand what they could do to the psyche. Or, I knew what they could do to my psyche.
Danny, on the other hand, was made from different stuff than I was; he wore his heart on his sleeve. I didn't want to see how he reacted when he awoke from a nightmare. Plus, I don't think he wanted me around when he woke up.
"Rachel," he screamed and jerked awake, knocking me backwards. My elbow connected with my couch, my arm going numb.
"Hey, easy," I said moving toward him. His bloodshot eyes were wide, his breathing was quick, and the shaking in his hands had managed to spread throughout his whole body. It was the most vulnerable I had seen him since the night Rachel died.
Then his face cleared when he realized where he was. He met my eyes and scrambled to his feet, wobbling a little before he gained his balance. He ran a still shaking hand down his face.
"You okay?" I asked cautiously getting to my feet.
"Yeah," he answered trying to walk around me.
I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Bullshit. You're not okay."
"Let go of me," he demanded.
"No," I replied shaking my head. "No, not until you talk to me."
"I don't have time for this," he snapped trying to yank out of my grasp. He only managed to wobble again, knocking into me.
"Make time," I snarled and dragged him across the room. I threw him into the recliner, towering over him.
"I'm not one of your suspects, McGarrett," he grumbled trying to get up. "You can't push me around."
"Watch me, Williams," I growled pushing him back into the chair. "Now you listen to me. Holding this stuff in isn't healthy."
"But you…" I held up my hand, cutting him off.
"This isn't about me. I'm trained to keep my emotions to myself. You're not."
"So, what you're saying is you're stronger than me?" Danny murmured glaring up at me.
"No," I sighed. "What I'm saying is you don't keep things bottled up…"
"I keep plenty from you."
"Small things, sure. But this was Rachel, Danny. Rachel, your ex-wife. The mother of your child. Someone who you obviously were not over."
"Shut up," he whispered glaring at the floor.
"Next to Grace, her name was brought up in about seventy percent of our conversations. You loved her…"
"Steve, seriously," he growled.
"…and you can't tell me you're fine. I know you aren't fine. Hell, Gracie can tell you aren't fine. This whole situation sucks, I know, but you have got to deal with it." it was kinda the same tactic Uncle Marty tried after my fight at school, except it hadn't really worked on me. I was really hoping it had a different effect on Danny.
"I can't," he whispered averting his eyes. I was taken by surprise, my words dying on my lips. I quickly composed myself and asked, "Why?" he shook his head sniffing.
"Come on, Danny. Talk to me." I said quietly taking a seat on the edge of my coffee table.
"She was supposed to outlive me," he mumbled staring at his hands. "That was the plan, you know? My job is dangerous, there's always a chance one of the perps could get the better of me. I mean, it was the whole reason why she left me in the first place." he sniffed still finding his hands fascinating. "But, now she's gone. She's gone and she's not coming back this time. I mean, she's not getting remarried, not moving across the country. She's gone, and I don't know what to do." A choked sob escaped his lips and he buried his face in his hands.
As his shoulders began to shake, I leaned forward, letting my elbows rest on my knees. I didn't say anything, I didn't have to. Danny knew I was there, he didn't need a reminder. And, in all honesty, I really didn't know what to say…
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Danny eventually calmed down after a few minutes, but it felt more like hours. Keeping his eyes averted from mine, he looked up and pulled his knees to his chest. I waited a few seconds then said, "You okay?" he nodded slowly running a hand across his eyes. "Good, because that was weird." Danny laughed, hiccupping.
"You mean, uncomfortable," he murmured sniffing.
"Now I wouldn't say…" I trailed off. "Yeah a little bit." We sat in silence for a moment then I said, "I'm sorry, Danny."
"For what?" he whispered meeting my eyes giving me a confused look.
"I don't know. An apology just sounded right," I replied shrugging.
"It's unnecessary." He ran a hand down his face and sighed heavily. "I feel like such a wimp."
"You're not," I said slowly. "Wimps are people who hide from their emotions."
"Meaning, you're a wimp?" I glared at him but didn't answer. He smiled slightly, resting his head on his knees. "I'm sorry for punching you," he whispered before his eyes drooped closed. He was asleep before I could speak again.
I stood up, heading toward the bottles of beer he had left on the floor. I collected them, carrying them into the kitchen. I threw the bottles away and moved toward the fridge. Technically I was still on duty, so instead of the beer I craved I took out a juice.
I had just opened the bottle when my phone rang. "McGarrett," I answered on the second ring.
"We've located Harley, boss," Kono said somberly.
"What's wrong?" I asked slowly not liking her tone.
"Chin's on his way to the hospital..."
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Okay, let me know if anything was out of whack. Please. I know this story had been leading up to Danny's breakdown, and I really want to know if it was worth the wait or not. I just didn't see Danny crying for hours on end. And I thought Steve would try to defuse the situation with some humor.
Anyway, I'd better go.
Bye...