A/N:

Wow, this chapter took me four hours to write, but I'm some glad I did! Probably my favorite so far.

Enjoy!

[Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.]

If anyone has any ideas for what should happen next, or some cute, fluffy Crellie moment, send me a message with your idea. If I like the idea, I might write it in. (Don't worry, I'll credit you!)

Craig Manning

Twelve hours.

That's how long I've been sitting in this damn chair in this damn hospital.

Marco and Paige offered to take me downstairs to get something to eat, but I refused. I didn't want her to be alone if she woke up. Keyword: if. I absolutely hated waiting.

Nurses came in and out of the room, and a few of them told me to go home. I refused to them as well; I wasn't leaving her side. This was probably my fault, I felt obligated to stay. One of the doctors that took a look at Ellie said that the cuts were very deep, and she might be fine, but only time will tell. After he said that, I immediately thought of my mother. Only time will tell. They said to Joey and I, and a two year old Angie. They were probably my least favourite words in the English language. I've also never been in a hospital for this long since my mother passed away. I can barely even look at Angela now without thinking about her.

Marco entered the room again. "Hey Craig, are you sure you don't want to go for a walk with Paige and I? It might do you some good to get out of this room." Marco patted my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Marco. I need to stay with her, I feel responsible."

"Craig, she's been really stressed at school lately. She's been really depressed; it couldn't be your fault." Marco had an upset look in his eyes, which I expected. This must be one hell of a birthday present. However, when she said that she's been depressed lately, I got curious.

"Why has she been depressed...?" I glanced down at her arm. There were more cuts than just the two large ones from last night. There were criss-cross lines spread all across her skinny arm, some were scabbing over, and some were older and were a pinkish color to them.

"You didn't hear? Her mom died last summer in a car accident."

I was shocked. I knew how it felt, having someone die in a car accident. Car accidents were the worst way to have a loved one die, in my opinion. They're so sudden. When someone has a disease, you have time to get used to the idea. I touched Ellie's clean arm.

"Th-That's horrible, Marco." I could feel tears in my eyes, and it wouldn't be the first time I cried in the past twelve hours.

"Yeah, it really is. She hasn't been doing well since then, but I never thought she'd go back to cutting. I really should have known, being her roommate and all," Marco sat down in a seat across from me. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "I feel so stupid!" He shook his head. "I really shouldn't have been so naive! The long sleeved shirts, her slipping marks, the secrecy... Everything adds up now." I felt bad for him.

Marco stood up again. "Well, I'm going to go find Paige. She's probably not enjoying her vacation home, huh?" He smiled, fake, but at least he was trying to stay positive. Marco left the room, and I was alone with Ellie again. In the distance, I heard Paige and Marco arguing whether they should leave me here and go home or not. Paige, of course, wanted to go home. Marco wanted to stay. I didn't care if they left or not, I wasn't going anywhere.

I looked back at Ellie. She really was beautiful, and for a moment I cursed myself for choosing Manny over her in senior year. I was a stupid kid. I sighed, and I held her hand that was closest to me.

"I'm such a jackass," I lightly kissed her hand. "Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so stupid. Maybe if I chose you in senior year, none of this would be happening. Maybe we'd still be together today." I then realized I was talking to an unconscious person. I looked around at the empty room for a minute before speaking again. Ellie's heart rate went up a bit on the monitor, and went down again after a second. I wasn't worried. "Damn, I feel stupid; talking to someone who can't even hear me. Maybe that's what makes this so easy, knowing that you can't reject me or laugh at anything I say." I smiled a little. "I really have missed you Ellie. I've missed you a lot. You know, ever since L.A. my life has been different. You changed it for the better when you showed up. I just wish I could have told you that then. I love you El, you know that right?"

I was telling the truth.

Ellie Nash

I honestly thought I was home when I woke up.

I could smell the familiar smell of Marco and Paige, and I could hear them bickering in the distance. Though I had no idea what they were talking about, I could hear their voices. I almost forgot about what happened. I just thought, Oh! I fell asleep, and now I'm home and Paige and Marco are fighting over which kind of bacon is better, crispy or chewy. However, nothing is ever that simple.

Reality struck me about two minutes after I woke up; I wasn't home, I was in the hospital. Paige and Marco were arguing in the hall outside my room about me. Wonderful. I then realized that my arm hurt really badly, and someone was holding my hand on the other side. I heard whoever it was sigh.

"Damn, I feel stupid; talking to someone who can't even hear me. Maybe that's what makes this so easy, knowing that you can't reject me or laugh at anything I say. I really have missed you Ellie. I've missed you a lot. You know, ever since L.A. my life has been different. You changed it for the better when you showed up. I just wish I could have told you that then. I love you El, you know that right?"

It was Craig. I didn't want to see him. Not like this. I recognized his voice; his sweet voice with a hint of an accent. His voice was raspy, he must be tired. I suddenly wondered what time it was.

That was him when I blacked out... I realized, and the few minutes before I passed out came back to me instantly.

"Ellie...?"

"Ellie!"

My hearing went a little fuzzy.

"Marco!"

And then, everything went black.

Snapping back to reality, I realized that Paige and Marco's bickering had stopped. Craig had stopped talking, but was still holding my hand. I felt like crying again after hearing him say that to me. It would be awkward if I 'woke up' now, so I didn't know what to do exactly. I kept my eyes shut, and waited for a few more minutes.

He said nothing more, and I thought I heard sobbing. Was he crying over me? I thought. Now I wanted to cry even more.

After another minute or two, Craig's crying changed to sniffles. I felt another presence in the room. "Have you seen any change in her?" Someone asked, probably a doctor or something.

"Nope, no change so far. About ten minutes ago, her heart rate went up for a second but went back to normal in a second or two, but other than that, no." He sounded concerned. He must really care.

"Hm," I heard a clacking noise, maybe a pen or something like that. "She may have regained consciousness for a second. Do you mind if I look at her for a minute?" She phrased it like a question.

Yeah, lady. I'm awake, I just don't want to see the guy I've been in love with since senior year crying by what could have been my death bed.

I heard Craig get up from the chair and the doctor was then by my side. She touched my arm gently. "Ellie, are you awake?" She said a bit louder than Craig had when he was talking to me. She was trying to wake me up; it was safe now. But I waited, still.

"Ellie, wake up..." I heard Craig's raspy, quiet voice a little ways away.

Luckily, I was very good at pretending to be asleep. I groaned a little, like I would when I was in Middle School, and my dad would wake me up for school way too early every morning.

"Huh." The doctor stopped touching my arm. "She's waking up. I'll be back in a minute, but I'll let you be the one in here when she gets up." I heard the doctor's squeaky shoes leaving the room. I was alone with Craig again. "Ellie, wake up. Please."

I groaned again. I then put my hand to my face and rubbed my eye, which hurt from being closed for so long, and opened them a little. "Oh, El!" He smiled while I blinked a little, getting used to the dimly lit room.

"Ugh... What time is it?" I said, still trying to get used to the room. I wasn't pretending anymore. "It's almost seven in the morning; you've been out for about twelve hours." He grabbed my hand again. I opened my eyes fully, and sat up a little. I winced when I moved my stitched up arm. "Craig, what are you doing here...?" I asked, really curious why it was him instead of Marco or Paige. "I found you Ellie... What the hell were you thinking?" He was concerned. I looked down, feeling bad for putting him through this. "I... I don't know," I stuttered a bit. "Why is it that I'm always the one to find you like this? First in L.A. and now here..." His voice trailed off a bit. "I don't know why it's always me, El."

"I wasn't trying to kill myself, Craig. I really wasn't..."

"Oh yeah? Then what were you trying to do, give me a heart attack? You almost died, Ellie. I was so worried." He looked down. "I'm sorry, Craig... I never meant to worry you; I just didn't want to be there." He was hesitant for a moment. "I'm sorry too, Ellie, for freaking out at you a little." I looked into his green eyes, and sighed. "I was awake, you know, when you said those things to me..."

"Oh, shit. What all did you hear?" His eyes widened a bit. I smiled. "It may have started with you saying that you felt stupid for talking to someone unconscious." He rubbed his forehead, and let out a nervous chuckle. "So, you basically heard everything, didn't you?"

"I guess I did."

"Well, just so you know, I was telling the truth about everything I said. Especially that last part..." His eyes looked hopeful.

I wanted to leave. I just wanted to rip the IV out of my arm and run. I always got like this; not knowing what to say.

"I... I don't know what to say, Craig." I closed my eyes, and when I opened them after an over-exaggerated blink I realized that I was tearing up. "Don't cry, Ellie. I don't expect you to say anything." He smoothed down my hair and smiled a cute, half-smile.

Shit, I probably look like a mess... My inner-girl thought.

Wait, what the hell am I thinking? I'm lying in a hospital with my arm all stitched up, and I'm worrying about my appearance?

I decided to change the subject. "So, do you think I'll be locked away in a mental hospital after doing this?" I smiled, hoping he would too. "Well, I sure hope not." He smiled a little. It was good to see his smile. I missed it.

I decided to just come out with the truth. "Craig, I didn't know what I was thinking when I cut myself again. I don't know what it was, exactly. To be honest, I don't think it was because of you. It may have contributed a bit, but it was probably mainly just stress. And I'm sorry for making you and Marco and Paige worry. I didn't mean to go that far." I was telling the complete truth, and after talking, I realized that my voice hurt a lot. It must have been from not talking so much for a long time. "Well, I'm here now El." He held my hand again. "I'm not leaving you this time."

"You're not going back to L.A?" I didn't want him throwing his career away for me. "I've decided to take a much needed break. I've missed home a lot." He looked down at his feet again, and yawned. "You must be tired, Craig..." I was worried. He must have been up for all night. "Yeah, I am. But you're more important than sleep right now." He looked back up at me. He looked really tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes were a bit red. "I don't care. You should go back to wherever you're staying and rest. I'll still be here for a long time, trust me." And I knew I would be here for a while. People who cut themselves and need medical attention don't just get to leave. I was going to be there for a while. "I'm not leaving, Ellie. Not for anything." I smiled at him. It was nice, having someone that cared. Marco and Paige probably left already.

There was a knock on the door frame. Craig and I both looked up; the doctor was back. "I see you're awake, Ms. Nash." She walked into the room. "Craig, do you mind if I have a minute alone with Ellie?" Craig squeezed my hand, sat up, and stretched a little. "I'll go find Marco and Paige. I'll see you soon, okay El?" I nodded. Craig smiled and left the room.

"The cuts were bad, and we hopefully got whatever infection that could have been in there out when we stitched them up. And by seeing your entire arm, I'm guessing this is a common occurrence?" The doctor looked at me with that disappointed look that I always hated. It was the look that teachers gave you in High School when you didn't have your homework done or was late for class. Ugh. "Yeah... I started when I was fifteen, and I stopped for a couple years, but after my mother died last year it's gotten worse."

"Well, you're lucky that the cuts weren't any deeper. That boy in here with you found you just in time, you know." She clicked her pen and started writing something down on her clipboard. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was just trying to escape." I told the truth. "Do you mind telling me about that? Why you cut?" The doctor sat down in Craig's chair.

I propped myself up on the headboard of the hospital bed, and told her everything.