Characters belong to Richelle Mead. This is just a famade story by me.

I'll have to excuse the long wait for this chapter. To sum the reasons up: My grandma's funeral was the day after the last update, I've been tired - a lot, school's kind of been a bitch, I've updated "In Search Of Peace" (Another VA-story fo mine) twice, and to top that of, I've had writer's block for this story. That pretty much sums up why there's been an absence of a 4th chapter... until now.

So... I'm happy to present to you all... a long chapter of BITL!

Enjoy! :)

Chapter 4

I had trouble sleeping that night, and it was no doubt because of my talk with Adrian mere hours earlier. To say things had gone as I'd wanted would be an understatement. Okay, my expectations had been far higher than I should have let them be in the first place. To even think he'd be happy to see me, even remotely so, was stupid of me. Sure, a part of me had been expecting the coldness I got from him, but that had been part of a minority. The majority of me, and my heart, truly wanted to have things back to normal for us; back before Dimitri had been changed back; back when my intentions had been to be solely his until my work took me away.

It didn't mean I wanted Dimitri to be Strigoi again, not at all, but things between Adrian and I had been so easy then. That's what I wanted back, the simplicity. Despite my attempts to bring Dimitri back at the time, I had been Adrian's, and I had wanted to be his. And even if I was with Dimitri now, a part of me still wanted to be with Adrian.

Yeah, I was messed up.

The next day I was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and just wondering what I was supposed to do now. I hadn't had a real plan for when I'd eventually find him, a plan for what I would say to him. Nevertheless, what I had come up with had backfired last night. For a brief moment there I'd been so, so sure I was getting through to him, that he was listening to what I was saying, but then, just as quickly, he shut himself down again. He became that new, cold-hearted Adrian that I hated to see.

But as I was saying, I was in bed and I wasn't feeling particularly happy because of the night before. And I didn't get any happier when I started hearing knocking on my door either. A part of me didn't feel like answering whoever it was, but I had a feeling about who it could be.

I was still in my pj's – a tanktop and shorts – when I opened the door to see Adrian standing there. He looked a bit more cleaned up, at least compared to the state he'd been in last night, but not much. His hair was still just as messy, and not styled. He still had that weird, little beard of his. But he wore fresh clothes though, and he looked a lot better than the last time I'd seen him around Court. Although, I'm sure his face mirrored mine in the way we were both frowning now.

"Where's Lissa?" he said without delay, walking past me and into my room. "I wanna talk to her."

"She's not here." I dragged a hand through my messy hair as I shut the door behind him.

His back was towards me, and strangely enough, I had an urge to just go up to him and drag my hands up and down his back. It looked so inviting, but I mentally shook the thought of doing it away, because that would surely only make things hell of a lot worse. For both of us.

"Where is she then?" he demanded.

"She's at Court."

He turned around, surprise and confusion mixed together on his face. "Why she's at-?" he cut himself off, frowning, as he realized the situation. "So, you're the only one here?"

"Yes." I told him. "Why?"

He shrugged, the frown still fixated on his face. "I should go." He started walking towards me, but most importantly, towards the door. He was leaving.

"Please, Adrian." I almost pleaded, reaching out to grab his arm. "Stay. Talk to me."

A tiny little shock passed through me as I did it, and I wondered if he felt it, too, as I glanced up at him. But judging by his face, he hadn't. He looked down at where I was holding him, more or less indifferently. His expression didn't soften one bit; if anything, it hardened instead. "Why would I?"

"I'm really sorry about what I did." I released my hold on him, not wanting to anger him further. "About what I said."

He looked a little confused, but his face... his eyes, his chin, his lips... was still set into a frown. "Why would you be? I know you meant them."

"Because-"

"Save it, Rose," he cut me off before I had a chance to explain myself. "You forget that I could see your aura then; I know you meant every word."

"Adrian-" I was starting to feel hopeless here. I wasn't getting anywhere here, especially since he cut me off again.

"No." his voice was so uncharacteristically firm; this wasn't my Adrian, I reminded myself. This person standing right in front me... that wasn't the same man I fell for. He would never act like this. My Adrian didn't hold grudges; he didn't hate me; but most importantly, he didn't look at me like I was something someone had picked up on the street.

He tilted his head back. "God, I need a drink."

Only him. "Is that your solution to everything?" I snapped at him.

"No," he deadpanned, staring at me with almost dead eyes. "Just to you."

And then he passed me, slamming the door shut behind him as he left.

x x x

I felt like shit, honestly. Stunned, broken, kind of pissed off. Was there seriously nothing I could do to convince him that what we'd had hadn't been one-sided? He seemed adamant that I was having my "happily ever after" and that he was the only one who was feeling the effects from our break-up. If only he knew that he had been on my lips practically every day since then. That Dimitri and I were fighting over him, because I couldn't let him go. That would surely have made him see things differently.

The memory of our first public fight replayed itself in my mind; Adrian had been so close, and if he had only come back with Lissa, he would have walked in on the same scene that she had. It had been so obvious that we'd fought just moments earlier.

And as that memory ended, our second public fight passed by before my eyes.

We'd been arguing that morning, and it had continued on the way to the restaurant where we were meeting up with Lissa and Christian. They'd asked us the day before if we wanted to have lunch with them, and at the time, things had been good between Dimitri and I.

It had been one of those rare argument-free days, and honestly, that had been the last of my good ones lately. We'd spent the day, more or less, in bed. There had been lots of kissing and other, more adult activities and basically we'd just enjoyed each others' company like any other couple did.

Since we were still at Court, and Lissa hadn't gone off to Lehigh yet, it had been possible. Neither of us had any particular guardian-related assignments. I wasn't Lissa's only guardian now that she was Queen, and Christian was pretty much always wherever she was, so he was constantly guarded as well. Not that Court wasn't the Moroi's most secured place, considering almost all royals resided there. But nevertheless, we didn't have anything else to do, and at the time, Dimitri's arms had been the only place I'd wanted to be in.

How strange that such a day could even exist when we would otherwise be shouting at each other at the top of our lungs. At least, I did. Dimitri always tried to stay cool and collected, trying to reason with me, but eventually he would hit his breaking point as well. To say I wasn't kind of scared of him at those times would be a lie, because he'd never been like this with me before. I must have really been pissing him off.

The beginning of the morning of our argument had been Heaven, which was... well, strange, as I said before, considering what would happen within about two hours. I'd woken up to find myself entangled with Dimitri, and the warmth of his body against mine was just plain amazing. He was still sleeping when I woke up, and as I didn't feel like waking him up just yet – I didn't have the heart to do it; he looked too cute – I just laid there and watched him.

His beautiful face was mere inches from mine, resting peacefully against my upper chest; above my right breast. Even if I didn't want to wake him, I couldn't help but carefully stroke the hair that had fallen into his face away and put it behind his ears.

"Mmm..." He stirred a little, brushing his cheek, nose and lips against my bare skin.

I smiled, continuing to stroke his hair gingerly.

He stirred once more before his eyes popped open, looking just a little surprised. He took in the situation without saying a word though, and before I knew it, his lips brushed the side of my breast more firmly. Once, twice... I could feel how his lips turned into a grin as he did it.

It tickled, even if it felt good in other ways, too, and within short I was laughing. He was kissing his way up my throat, and when his lips eventually found their way to mine... yeah, I wasn't laughing anymore then. Instead I responded, and he soon moved so that he was on top of me instead while he deepened the kiss.

"You didn't get enough yesterday?" I breathed when he broke away to plant kisses underneath my earlobe and along my jawline.

"I'll never get enough of you, Roza." he whispered against my skin; I shivered. God, that little word – my nickname in Russian – spoken by him... especially in that way... yeah, that would always have a certain impact on me. Even twenty years from now, I was sure.

I twisted my hands into his hair, bringing his gorgeous face into view again. His hair had come down again and was hanging loose, framing his features. But it wasn't really his hair that I was paying much attention to... it was his eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes that could pierce right through me and look into my soul. And the way they were looking at me now, so full of eagerness and just pure lust... who was I to say no to them?

And so we picked up right where we'd left off the night before.

So, as you can understand, the morning started off feeling like I was in Heaven. Both of us were in good moods when we eventually got out of bed – according to the clock on my nightstand it was 9:04PM. We were supposed to meet up the others in an hour.

We showered separately, which was probably the most sane thing to do. We'd probably be later otherwise, and sure... Lissa and Christian knew we were together, but we didn't have to flaunt our sex-life, now, did we? She would probably be able to tell what we'd just been doing anyway. Hell, Christian would be able to as well, even if he couldn't see our auras, just by seeing the grin on our faces.

But little did I know that we wouldn't be having lunch with them in good moods. It was quite the opposite, and it all started when I was rummaging through my side of the closet while Dimitri had gone to shower after I finished.

I was only in a towel and was looking for something to wear. Not that I owned that many articles of clothing, but I didn't want to dress like a slob when we were going out either. I was the Queen's guardian now after all and I wanted to look respectable. And as I reached for a pair of jeans, I heard – and felt - some crumbling in one of the front pockets.

I took the folded paper out, feeling kind of perplexed as to what I'd been doing with that in my pockets. It hadn't been a pair I'd worn in awhile, so that's why I decided to go with them today, but when I folded out the note, I half-regretted grabbing these particular jeans.

It was Adrian's dating proposal.

For some reason beyond me, it seemed as if as soon as I "forgot" about Adrian, reminders of him would pop up out of nowhere. After every good day, a bad day came along. Well, most often it did. And all the bad days were concerning Adrian.

Like the masochist I seemed to be, I started reading the love note.

Dear little dhampir,

there are many reasons as to why I would be your perfect suitor. I'd rather call myself your boyfriend though, but I'll take what I can get. So, as you requested, here's my list of reasons why we should be together:

1. I'll make you laugh, or at least smile, any chance I get.

2. I'll give up cigarettes unless I really, really need one.

3. I'll give up alcohol too – unless Spirit is giving me a really, really hard time. Or on special occasions.

4. I won't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

5. I'll write impromptu poems about you.

6. I'll unleash romantic surprises every week, such as: an impromptu picnic, roses, or a trip to Paris – but not actually any of those things because now they're not surprises.

7. I won't touch, or even flirt with, any other women than you – looking is out of the question, since I'm not blind.

8. You can talk to me about anything, and I do mean anything you want or need to talk about. I swear.

9. I'm addicted to you, so I'll never leave your side, ever.

"Rose?"

As I turned to face Dimitri, I wondered what my face looked like then, because his expression completely changed. Within a second confusion turned into concern. He'd already dressed himself - probably while he'd been in the bathroom – so he was obviously confused because I hadn't gotten that far yet. The concern must have been because of my facial expression.

"What's wrong?" he murmured gently as he crouched down in front of me – when did I end up on the floor? - and brushed his fingers right below my eyes. I could feel something wet against my skin as he did it, and that was when I realized that I'd been crying. Dimitri was wiping away the tears. For a reason he was unaware of, and for a reason he wouldn't like when he found out.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

His eyes spotted the little note in my hands then, and in an instant, he became wary. "What does it say?"

I think he knew who it was from. There was only one thing that could make me react this way nowadays, and I didn't blame him for the way he reacted when he realized what – or rather, who - it was concerning. He got up from his crouch without another word – I hadn't answered him, and he took it just as one might expect him to: not well.

"It's from him, isn't it?" He was still collected, but I knew him so well, and I knew that deep down he wasn't at all calm. He just didn't want to lash out at me; he didn't want to start yet another argument.

I nodded slightly.

"What does it say?" he wondered again.

I got up from the floor then and folded the note while shrugging, trying to act indifferently about it even though my heart was aching at the thought of him once having written those sweet, sweet words to me.

The contract's null and void, by the way. That had been his last words before he'd walked out on me. To say it had been a slap in the face was an understatement; he'd left me rendered speechless. I hadn't know what to do, what to think, after that. My mind had completely froze.

"It's just something he wrote to me once." I murmured, putting it back into the pocket where I'd found it; I had no idea what else to do with it.

"You didn't answer my question."

Dimitri wasn't one to prod, but seeing as I was his girlfriend now and that I was holding a love note – anyone with a brain could figure that out – from my ex while crying... yeah, that would surely make him ask about it. Especially since he was such an ever-present topic for us nowadays.

"I made him write a dating proposal after I got back from Russia." I explained, not wanting to lie to him. "Reasons why he would be a good suitor."

"Oh." The tone in his voice was indecipherable; he might as well have been angry as indifferent.

"Yeah," I shrugged again, trying to push the hurt away for both our sakes. "It doesn't mean anything now though."

He still looked unconvinced; still suspicious. "Then why are you crying?"

I frowned. "I made a lot of mistakes with him. Mistakes I wish I could undo, but I can't now."

"Are you saying you'd rather go be with him?" There was a dangerous note to his voice that I absolutely hated to hear. Oh, he was mad. So, so mad. But there was also an undertone to his words that was tinged with sadness.

He was... scared, I realized.

"No!" I almost shouted. Where the hell had that conclusion come from? "Of course not!"

He didn't say anything else after that, and I went back to dressing myself. Avoiding that particular pair of jeans, I opted for an old skirt of mine. It wasn't anything special, it was just red; no stripes or anything like that. Just plain, and boring. But at least it didn't have pockets and contain any remnants of my old boyfriend.

I could tell he was still thinking about that damned note as we exited our room and was making our way to the restaurant where we'd meet up with Lissa and Christian. Like Sonya had once told me, Dimitri and I were in sync. We could easily read each other even without a mental bond, like the one I'd had with Lissa. Although, I'd figured that out before Sonya had told me her theory about soul mates and souls being in sync with each other and all that.

"Seriously..." I told him. "Just let it go."

It would have been unnoticeable to anyone else, but I could see the tiny little frown that settled in on his face. His dark eyes got a small edge to them; irritation.

"It doesn't mean anything, not anymore." I said, which, to be honest, was a half-lie. It still mattered, his words still mattered to me, even if we were over and he didn't mean them anymore.

The contract's null and void, by the way...

The edge was still there though. "I have a hard time believing that."

I sighed. "I mean it, Dimitri." I said, feeling a little irritated myself, as well as defeated. "Just let it go."

The weather was nice today, and it was no surprise that a lot of people were out; having lunch, like we were going to, or having a coffee break and just chatting with friends. There was no reason to be inside on a day like today, and it was obvious that Dimitri tried to keep us lowkey because of it; he didn't want to attract attention to our arguing.

Yeah, good luck with that. Neither of us had the temper to pull inconspicuousness off.

Anywho, he countered that he had a right to know how I felt: about him, about us. And about Adrian. And irritated like I was, and having a tendency to sometimes put my foot in my mouth, I told him that it was none of his business.

Clever response, huh?

I hadn't meant it like that, obviously. Of course I agreed with him, but I didn't feel like arguing with him - or rather, talking about depressing stuff - anymore. That morning had been so good... and I very much wanted to have a good afternoon and evening as well with him. And I'd just wanted him to drop it.

He, of course, got mad.

"This conversation is over." he snapped at me, seeing as we were approaching the couple waiting for us by a table outside the restaurant we'd agreed on. But I could tell that this conversation was far from over - we were just having a lunch-break first.

Seeing as it was late summer – or early fall, whichever way you saw it – it was nicer to sit and eat outside. A couple of guardians were stationed nearby; far away enough not to listen in on any conversation, but close enough in distance to be able to protect Lissa in case anything would happen.

So... yeah, instead of good moods they were greeted with a pissed off Rose Hathaway and the ever-stoic Dimitri Belikov, who despite that radiated with irritation. Guess he couldn't hold it in much either. Well, I suppose that I couldn't really blame him – after all, I'd just been crying over my ex-boyfriend. But at the time I hadn't seen things as clearly.

Lunch was a non-event. We ate pretty much in silence - Lissa was the only one who tried to open up conversation; I kept my replies short. Dimitri didn't really say anything, and Christian was just watching Dimitri and I with an indecipherable expression on his face while he ate. That didn't exactly help my already sour mood.

In the middle of lunch, though, Lissa's cellphone started ringing. Her facial expression quickly switched to wary, and in the corner of my eyes I could tell she glanced over at me, as she answered whoever was now calling.

"Oh, hey," she said to whoever was on the other end. "... Yeah, we're having lunch," Another glance towards me. "...I'm sad to hear that... Yeah, I'll come right over. Okay? I'll be there in five... Yeah, see you soon."

Just like that other time, she was called away. I hadn't thought much of it then, seeing as she was the Moroi's Queen now and had a lot of obligations, but I supposed now that that had been Adrian calling, right before he left. It fit the timetable - two days prior to when I left to hunt him down. He'd called Lissa to tell her that he was leaving Court indefinitely.

Like I said, at the time I hadn't even considered it to be him on the phone; I was too pissed because of the fight with Dimitri, and trying to concentrate on my food.

x x x

I didn't go down to the bar and casino area like I'd done the night before, instead I stayed put in my room all day, trying to amuse myself by watching some lame soap operas on TV. I figured that it'd be best to give Adrian some time to process me being here, so I wasn't going to bother him today. Maybe tomorrow he'd be more up for talking.

I was sitting squarely on the bed, legs crossed and cellphone in my hands, wondering if I should call Dimitri when I heard noises outside in the hallway. It was late enough in the human world for him to be up now. It was midday for my friends back at Court, and I wondered where he was at this hour. Was he alone, maybe having lunch? Or maybe he was having lunch with Lissa and Christian? Okay, that was unlikely seeing as they only hung out when I was there, too.

Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri.

Right now I desperately wanted to hear his voice, to hear that he was okay. In the midst of all this, that would make me feel like what I was doing had purpose. And it would have been reassuring to know he wasn't mad at me for doing this, and that he was waiting for me. That he still wanted me.

Of course, I knew he did still want me in spite of my trailing after my ex-boyfriend, but it would've felt nice with some reassurance all the same.

The noises – or rather, voices – in the hallway was coming nearer, was getting more and more decipherable, which made me momentarily forget about calling Dimitri. Because one of the voices, the one clearly arguing, I could make out in a heartbeat. I would know that voice forever.

Adrian.

I hurriedly jumped off my bed – almost falling over in the process – before I rushed towards the door and yanked it open. And sure enough, Adrian's guardian along with another guardian – one of the hotel's, I could tell - was escorting him back to his room.

"Guardian Hathaway," Mark acknowledged me as he turned to see who'd come out to see what the commotion was all about.

I nodded curtly at him. "What's going on?"

"None of your business," Adrian slurred. And even at this distance between us, I could make out the distinct smell of alcohol on him. It permeated the air around us.

How much had he been drinking tonight?

Mark gave me an apologetic grimace before he and the other guardian, who'd remained the picture perfect guardian, guided Adrian back to his room. They were forced to hold onto him, because I'm sure he would have fallen over otherwise.

I couldn't help but follow them.

They lead him to the bed, and as soon as Adrian connected with the bed, he was out. Just like that.

I turned towards Mark, who was about to leave. "I'm going to stay."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure?"

"He's my responsibility."

"I'm his guardian." he countered, but I was sure it was because he didn't want to leave me alone with a drunk male Moroi, even if he was passed out at the moment. We all knew that they often took a liking for female dhampirs, and so I wondered if he was aware that we'd been dating before, and that I had been the one to break his heart and not the other way around.

"You're not the reason he's like this," I glanced over at Adrian's sleeping form on the bed then, and sighed. "I am."

The slight frown that appeared on his otherwise calm face then told me that he understood that something bad had happened between us. "What happened?"

"It's a really long story." I told him. "And not one I feel like getting into right now."

He didn't press on the matter any further, which I was grateful for. "Just call on me if something would happen, alright?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

After Mark and that other guardian left, I wasn't really sure what I would do. Adrian's hotel room wasn't much bigger than mine, and it looked pretty identical to mine actually. His was messier though. Dirty clothes were spread around the room, but not to an extreme. It was kind of like my room back at the Academy had been like. Except for the liquor bottles. There were two of them in sight; one on the sofa table and one by his bed.

But I didn't focus too much on his room. My eyes were rather set on the person who was laying passed out on the bed in front of me. Despite everything – his vices, my actions, his actions – he looked kind of peaceful all the same. It was strange, but a welcome change anyway.

Hesitantly, I laid down next to him on the bed, not wanting to wake him up. I was sure – in spite of his former obsession with me – he didn't want me. At least not in this close proximity that the bed provided. Sure, it was a king-size, but he was still mere inches away.

Leaning on my elbow against the pillows, I couldn't help but watch him. His soft lips, reminding me that he was probably the best kisser I knew; his hair, which I'd loved to draw my hands through back in the day; his closed eyes, hiding his beautiful green eyes from me now... All the little details that reminded me of our golden days; when he and I had been together, when we had been happy.

I didn't know how much time had passed by, but sometime later I found myself dozing off. And eventually, with no thoughts of the consequences the morning after would surely provide, I fell asleep in Adrian's bed.

Was it worth the wait? ;)

Regarding questions of whether or not Adrian still loves Rose... well, what do you think? ;)

...Yet again I have a song that reminds me of R/A's relationship that I feel like sharing with you:

And if all the flowers faded away
And if all the storm clouds decided to stay
Then you'd find me, each hour the same
Because she is tomorrow, and I am today

'Cause if right is leaving, I'd rather be wrong
She is the sunlight, the sun is gone

And if loving her is, is heartache for me
And if holding her means that I have to bleed
Then I am the martyr and love is to blame
Because she is the healing, and I am the pain

She lives in a daydream, where I don't belong
She is the sunlight, and the sun is gone

~ She Is The Sunlight - Trading Yesterday

I'm in love with that song... it reminds me so much of a fave quote of Adrian's: "Don't worry, little dhampir. You might be surrounded by storm clouds, but you'll always be like sunshine to me." - Love. Mihi.

Anywho, I hope you liked this chapter... and I'll try to get the next one up asap! :)

What do you think will happen when they both wake up? How will Adrian react? And what will Rose do?

Please leave a lil comment! It'll only take a sec, and it'd mean the world to me. x3 Thank you :)