Risk it all Chapter 17
Why would a person like me risks everything,
When we had absolutely nothing.
"I was such a baby", I whispered softly to myself. We had already walked down several halls and more than enough doors. Each twist 'n turn didn't give a better feeling. It made guilt grieve and sink lower and lower in me. My once butterflies of nervousness had turned into painful daggers of self-punishment.
I had been clutching the back of his shirt with my tiny hands. I had made a mess of myself. Oh, how cliche my life was; still is.
He hadn't said a word when he opened the bathroom door and flicked the light on.
He hadn't said a word when he seated me down on the counter and looked at the back of my head.
He still hadn't said a word when he got a damp hand towel and pressed it against my skull.
He hadn't looked me in the eye when he lifted my shirt just enough to see the forming purple bruise on my abdomen.
He hadn't shown emotion of any sort when he raked his fingers through my mess of hair and saw several strands of blonde hair when he pulled his hand out.
He wasn't doing anything and that was eating at my insides.
Clutching and unclenching my fists, I realized that I really did deserve this. Nagi was a good person. Good-will hearted. He was human. He had feelings.
That thought struck me. He was indeed human, and like any other human on earth, he had thoughts and feelings. Saying sorry repeatedly would solve nothing. It might as well break us further and further apart. That would be devastating.
When he finally took a step back to analyze me, I tilted my head up and held his gaze. His golden-brown eyes that once held happiness seemed so dull. So unemotional and angry. I was right.
"You are human." I whispered softly. Confusion began to fill his stoic eyes.
"I've always been human?" He said with a tone. A mixture of monotone and curiosity.
I stared at him in awe. He was human. Humans can forgive and forget or they can hold a grudge for ages.
Sitting on the edge of the counter, I risked it. I risked all my feelings, my thoughts, for this guy. Maybe, I thought, if I could forget, he'd forget too. So I leaned in, grinning like a cheshire cat. His eyes widen, they glowed. Gaining his composure, he stood up straight.
"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked delicately, although still in monotone. His voice just a little above a whisper. I felt the painful daggers subdue. If I could forget...
"My thoughts are worth a dollar, silly." I said childishly and stuck my tongue out. He seemed dumbfounded. Maybe it was a frown or a scowl that had settled on his features. But I didn't mind. Oh, not at all.
"What's with the sudden change?" He exclaimed in a soft, low growl. Watching him, I chuckled ever so quietly. Giving his a sideways glance as I watched him under my eyelashes, I smiled.
"I'm forgeting." I said in a quiet voice. Something in my voice surprised me. May it be how defenseless, or small I sounded. But it was so young.
He creased his eyebrows together in confusion.
"Forgeting-," He started.
Giggling, I interupted. Hopping off the counter, I stood up by his frame. My head barely at the same height of his shoulders. Bending over a little, so I was able to look and stand next to him, I continued.
"Wouldn't it be nice to put this behind us? Or to forget all the drama that came with knowing me? How about, " I stopped to stand a foot or two in front of him, "we start over? Without this mess?" I finished holding my hand out for him to shake.
His eyes showed fear or anticipation.
"I don't, won't; forget everything or anything that would be." He broke off. Hesitating, he took my hand, pulling me a little too close for comfort. And I let him. I was about an inch away from him. His hand gripped my hand tightly, I could feel the heat coming off his body.
"It's okay, " I paused, going on my tippy toes to gently pat his head. "You don't have to forget-forget me. Just about the Kaozumi and the orphanage and-"
"The Saaya incident." He said, his voice hard as stone. Anger boiled in me. Oh..gosh darn it, so many mood changes. I MUST be on my period or something!
Huffing, I thought, maybe forgeting wouldn't work. I tried to pull my hand away from him, only for it to be harshly pulled back. "The Saaya incident," he bitterly, "that was a misunderstanding, it wasn't what you think it was, and all I was trying to do was assure you it wasn't. But no, you were irrational. And now, your trying to apologize. That's incompetent." He didn't yell, or shout, or even emphasize what he was trying to say.
I opened my mouth to speak but he continued.
"Your way of dealing with things is to run away. To forget. Rima, your not gonna do that this time." I..I wasn't running away, I thought. Letting my head fall and shoulders sag. "Rima, this incident was just us being stubborn, and although you started it. It was foolish of me to give you the cold shoulder for that long." He paused, letting out a breath. He looked at me. I could feel his eyes burn holes into my hair. He took his other hand, and gently grabbed my chin to make me look him straight in the eyes.
"Your not gonna run away, Rima. " His eyes flickered. "But it looks like it pains you when you don't know what to do." He let go of me, both hand and chin. "So we can put this behind us, keep all the good, fun things that happened, and let go of the bad." He gently put his hand on the middle of my back and held me. "I'll start over, out with the bad, in with the good. But only this once." He said, shoving his head into my hair, resting his head on my shoulder, taking deep breathes. I grabbed the sides of his shirt pulling him closer.
"I'd like that." I whispered smiling.
Suddenly, I heard an 'awwwwww' behind the door. Still with his hand pressed against my back, he slammed the bathroom door opened that I accidentally closed when we walked in.
"Mother." He said glaring.
"A-amu?" I harshly whispered. Amu and Nagihiko's mother looked at each other, then back to us.
"YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE!" They squealed in unison.
For the mother of...
Then, everything was okay. I guess. There was a tension between us, a wall. But I could feel it crumbling away day by day. It was like the feeling of nervousness. You didn't know what could happen, you didn't want to know what could happen; to a point were you just wanted to flee. But then there were the thoughts, the memories, and the other feelings that over-powered your fears.
So when it came down to it, I was letting myself relax. To just be myself and let my feelings take control of my actions. I didn't want control, I just wanted to sit back and see what happens next. I guess, life was like that. It sure had it's ups and downs. Believe me, I would know.
Apparently, Nagi's mom didn't have a problem with 'us'. Amu certainly didn't and if she did, she might have a problem expressing her emotions. Which, I'm sure she doesn't have problems with. Considering her emotions are written in shades of pink and red on her face.
Saaya still wasn't satisfied. She actually pushed Nagi against my locker and started kissing him. Nagi, being the somewhat polite idiot he was, decided it would be rude to shove her to the ground. Thus, waiting till she stop to tell her, it was never going to happen. However, I don't see how that was any better.
Also, remember the boys from detention that picked on me in detention, they all came to school with mysterious bruises. I wonder how they got them? Nagi is a complete baffoon if he thinks I don't know where the bruises came from. But I'll let it slide considering he did well on them. Why yes, they look so beautiful in their pissed off forms.
Now everything was like how it started. Not started "started", but it was...ah forget it.
I'm Rima Mashiro. I'm a young highschooler, adopted into the family of the Fujisaki's, and is hopelessly falling for Nagihiko Fujisaki. The Cross-Dresser from my younger years and the annoying girly purplehead that wouldn't leave me alone in detention.
Oh yeah, that's me.
To tell you the truth, I spent almost 2-3 months on this trying to see what I was missing. It just didn't feel right. Since this is the FINAL chapter. Of course, I'm going to back and revise my grammar, spelling errors. Add in a little details, make it seem like it was written from a girl going into a highschool instead of a girl in the second semester of 7th grade :D
It does feel like I'm missing something, like it's not the end. So, do tell me what I'm missing when you figure it out. I'd really appreciate it.
I give my thank you's to:
muzikchic4eva: Sorry, I didn't update soon enough :3 haha
Wolf Princess Girl: I loved this story too :) I can't believe I was writting it. It was like I was just waiting for the next update like you guys xD
Thank you for all that ever review to this story:
LuvMeOrHateMe , Kichi-Baka , Aquatwin , DemonWitchCat, Free Parking , -PiercingMelody- , mydarlingjuliet , amuto4ever72 , DinosaursgoRawr101 , muzikchic4eva , Miwokgirl101 , Miyuka Kokoro , MissJelloChan , ponyopwnsyou143 , RimaNagi4Ever , Strawbaby Chick , Pieishyx , 6kimiko6 , fallenangel320 ,Wolf Princess girl
I'm going to miss you all :D You all were my friends, probably going to continue to be too. Wish you all to have the time of your lives.
Remember: Once in Fanfiction, you'll never get out xD