4. Britta Perry

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Birth Name: Britta Perry

Ethnicity: Danish-British

Sexual Orientation: Straight* (Mr. Hawthorne always calls her a lesbian...and then there was that kiss at the Valentine's Day Dance...It wouldn't shock me at all to find out that Britta had some...'experimental' days in her past. - CP)

Status: Single

Age: 31

Height: 5'3

Weight: 105

Eyes: Blue

Skin: White

Hair: Blonde

Bust: 32B

Waist: 24

Hips: 33

Program: Women's Studies

Interests: Protesting, Opinions, Leather Jackets, Aggressive Music, Being Selfless, Men, High-Heeled Boots, Feminism, Knitting, Travel, Cats (the animal not the misucal)

Hookups: Vaughan Miller, Jeff Winger, Tall Kyle, Paige the Straight Lesbian, Lukka the War Criminal, Troy Barnes

Noteworthy: Britta is very interesting; beautiful but thinks she's ugly, intelligent but thinks she's dumb, ignorant but thinks she's informed. She cheated on Senor Chang's Spanish test and nearly got booted from the school. She also committed a 'prank' which led to a frog being stomped and a cadaver being thrown out the window and told Jeff Winger that she loved him in front of a room full of people at the Tranny Dance. Later, she got into an oil-fight with Annie Edison that broke the school record for fundraisers, helped take down a clique of 'Mean Girls', got Abed to therapy, kissed a girl on Valentine's Day, dated a War Criminal and delviered Shirley Bennett's baby. No one around campus outside of her group seems to like her, frequently telling her she's the 'worst'.

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The Dean jingle-jangled the keyring he held in his hands as he walked down the uncrowded hallway towards the pool area, otherwise known as Borchert Hall.

The light of the sun was rapidly fading, and a look at his conservative Kenneth Cole watch informed him that it was 6:48 PM...the sun usually set around 7:15 in September at Greendale. It was Friday, and he was off to the Airport Ramada for a...secret rendezvous with a potential paramour, and all that he needed was his Dalmatian costume, which was stashed (along with his other costumes) in his secret wardrobe closet.

He walked past the pool and saw Leonard and some aging 'hipsters' doing their aquacize regiments to keep their joints and bones in shape. He waved at Leonard and was greeted with a blown raspberry in kind.

Past the pool he reached a red steel door and by rote found the right key instantly; it was the only square one on his large keyring. He inserted it slowly into the door and turned it to the right, throwing open his 'secret' costume closet.

"Ahhh!" A feminine shriek caused him to briefly cover his ears and avert his eyes. When he turned them in the direction of the scream, he saw an instantly recognizable mass of dense, soft blonde curls and a shocked set of blue eyes.

"Britta!" He asked in shock, "What the...how the...WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?"

Britta was scantily clad in a lacy white set of lingerie, and when she noticed the Dean leering at her body from head to toe, she grabbed the first thing she could; the Dalmatian costume that hung on a hanger to her right and moved to cover her body with it, "Did you know that there's a door behind lockers 27 and 28 in the women's changeroom? That can't be legal..."

"Before this was Borchert Hall it was a regular building in the school..." The Dean confessed, "To save money during construction we hired an inexperienced construction crew...some of their work may have been a little shoddy..." He looked at the costume she was covering herself with and reached out his hand, "If you wouldn't mind..."

Defiantly, she threw the Dalmatian costume and head at him, which he caught in each hand.

"Get rid of that door or I'll tell everyone about this place..." She said.

"I will get rid of the door, Miss Perry..." The Dean negotiated, "As long as I never see you in this room again."

"Deal." The Dean turned and left, pulling the door shut behind him, his costume safe and clean, smelling slightly of cigarettes and Givenchy Ange Ou Demon...but still safe nonetheless.

XXX

Britta, still in her skivvies, counted down from twenty in her head before turning to the side, "The coast is clear..."

From between a Carnival Dancer (?) and a Xenomorph costume (?), Jeff poked his head, looking around quickly, "Are you sure."

"Just get out here."

Jeff emerged, himself next-to-nude with only the stripey Beetlejuice shorts covering his privates. Britta smiled at him, and he rushed forward and picked her fragile, pale frame up in his arms, kissing her as he backed her up against a wall of the Dean's costumes. Suddenly, as if they were both tuned to the same time, they stopped kissing.

"It's gone, isn't it?" He asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, it's gone..." She replied with a tone of dejection in her voice, "Figures...we finally find a place to fool around on campus that's far enough from the group, and we almost get busted by your not-so-secret admirer."

"...Shut up."