"So how are you today Mr. Knight?" The therapist asked Kendall as Kendall sloppily walked into the room clearly strung out on something.
"What?" Kendall asked as he missed the chair and landed on the floor.
"What did you take before coming here? Should I call your parole officer, maybe the hospital?"
"Nah…I'm cool." Kendall giggled a little bit and pawed his way up the big arm chair in the room and plopped into it.
"Are you high?"
"A little bit…is it obvious."
"Kendall you know that I have to call your parole officer if that's the case."
"Whatever. What is he going to do? Tell me I can't get my stuff. Oh please. No one's telling me no. Besides I do better this way. I can tolerate the others this way. I don't know why everyone thinks it's so bad. It's not like I'm forcing them to do my stuff with me."
"Yeah but you can't come in all strung out."
"I'm not strung out I'm more aware."
"Of what?"
"The world….like now I see everyone and everything for what it is and honestly man…everything is pretty lame."
"Everything doesn't have to be lame."
"But it is. Like who really wants to change the world. Not the government. Not you. Not even me. Man I'd be a liar if I said I cared about other than the sweet high I get when I light up or the feeling I get when that stuff courses through my veins."
"Are you still on H?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You do look frail actually" The therapist said frowning a bit at how Kendall used to be a very healthy, happy boy but Hollywood really seemed to get to him. He avoided 'Hollywood Fever' but didn't avoid the demons. At first no one notice but he soon became late for practices, was sloppy at recordings and became increasingly irritable or unusually calm depending on the drug he was abusing at the moment.
"Nah I'm not frail just happy."
"How much H are you on?"
"I'm not sure 2 hits , maybe 3 who knows. You want some." Kendall said digging in his tattered jean pockets to reveal a syringe that was beyond wore down. He was the Pete Doherty of his band and if it was bad enough dealing with the others problems, Kendall probably had it the worst.
"Please put that away."
"Your loss." Kendall said holding his arm out and patting his arm down until he found a vein. He took the syringe and placed it over the vein and shot up. It took him a moment to come back to Earth being the initial hit took him out for a second but then he put the syringe back in his pocket and acted as if nothing even happened. "That was some good stuff." He said smiling.
"Kendall I'm calling your officer. You obviously aren't learning anything from your last bust."
"I did learn something."
"What did you learn?"
"I learned that cops just don't want me to be happy. Do you really think I want to be in a room singing songs for stupid girls to be happy over. Hell no. I rather sit in my room and just shoot up and get high and just reflect on the world. I can't do that with girls all over the place. I'm glad at least Jo left. She kept telling the cops on me making it seem like I was harming her. Well now I don't have her, I need something to help me cope with the annoyingness of fame, popularity and 3 other guys I can't tolerate."
"Yeah but aren't you afraid that you can OD."
"That's if I'm stupid…and I'm not."
"There is no such thing as a careful drug user Kendall."
"Yeah there is. Me. I don't like your tone. I'm leaving." Kendall said slowly getting up but falling back down. He started to giggle but then got really angry. He got up and went to the wall in his therapist office and picked up a picture frame. "Is this your family?"
"Yes it is…but what does that have to do with…."
"How does it feel for it to be broken?" Kendall asked tearing the photo out the frame and tearing it in half. "How does it feel to have your life ripped to shreds in front of you huh? How does it feel for everything you ever loved and cared about to just vanish. You wouldn't know would you? You have your stupid family to depend on well I have my drugs they are like my family and if you take them….then you are breaking up my bond with something I care about."
"Kendall, you can't compare your addiction to the love of a family."
"Stop telling me what I Can and can't do..You aren't my parent. You aren't my dad. I don't even have a dad."
"And this is why you are acting up"
"No it's not. You know what…I have to visit Carlos in the hospital…hope I make it." Kendall said leaving the money for his session on the therapist desk. The therapist took the money and put it in his pocket and marked his day book. He was glad today's session was over however he just sighed a bit when he remembered tomorrow his most troubled patient was coming in. Tomorrow he would be dealing with Logan Mitchell and sometimes he was hot sometimes he was cold. You never knew how he'd react.