1. Jeffrey Winger
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Birth Name: Jeffrey Tobias Winger
Ethnicity: Irish-British
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Status: Single
Age: 33
Height: 6'4
Weight: 210
Eyes: Blue
Skin: White
Hair: Blonde
Waist: 32"
Chest: 47"
Arm Span: 77"
Program: Undeclared
Interests: Women, Product, Expensive Clothes, Expensive Cars, Cologne, Guitar, Working Out, Law, Deception, Watches, Leadership, Seizing the Day, Scotch, Argumentation
Hookups: Michelle Slater, Chantelle Cahill, Professor Michelle Slater, Amber, Britta Perry, Annie Edison, Quendra with a 'QU', Former Secretary Sabrina
Family: Doreen Winger (Mother), William Winger (Estranged Father)
Noteworthy: And here he is, the sexiest person on campus. His bedhead isn't real bedhead, it's done up by some sort of product and is crispy. Even though he has a somewhat snarky, dismissive attitude towards me...I think he's starting to come around. He is the 'Leader' of a merry band of misfits that study Spanish and Anthropology together. He's at Greendale because he was caught with a fake Law degree and has a prior friendship with Professor Ian Duncan. He represented Britta Perry in her trial for cheating, convinced Troy Barnes to play for the Greendale Human Beings, fought Mike the Bully and his gang of Fly Dancers, stripped naked for a(n a)rousing game of billiards, started a crime syndicate in order to get some chicken, took down a group of immature high-school kids in a 'duh!' fest, won paintball last year, had two women tell him they loved him at the Tranny dance, found the hidden trampoline, ripped apart Study Room F when Annie Edison lost her purple pen, saved the life of Fat Neil in a D&D game, ran for school office and lost and threw a My Dinner with Andre/Pulp Fiction themed birthday party for Mr. Nadir. Even if he doesn't want to be, he is a very active member of the student body.
XXX
Jeff Winger strode into the room, tall, shoulders back and unshakably confident, the way he always walked, like a Siberian Tiger strutting through the taiga, because he knows he's the boss. The Dean was looking over some of the spread that several of the volunteers were planning to lay out for the World Food Festival.
"Excuse me...I'd heard you have some samples of the new Hugo Boss Eau de Toilette?" Jeff asked a young student with shoulder length hair on the other end of the room. The Dean used his small size and stealth to creep up and rub him on that back.
"You sir really have to stop falling for such obvious ploys to get you here..." He smiled and leaned in to take a sniff of Jeff's chest-area, before pulling back...and leaning in once more to catch another whiff of the citrus and tobacco of Mr. Winger's cologne and the musky odor from his body. As always, Jeff tolerated these personal invasions...
"Dean..." He answered, looking past the small man at the various platters that held samples of exotic ethnic foods, "Why don't you tell me why I'm really here."
"Well Jeffrey, the World Food Festival is today, in the parking lot." He answered as they walked size by side, the top of the Dean's bald head barely reaching his shoulder, "Aside from containing international delicacies from seventeen different countries, a certain...ex-someone is going to be there...will you and your study group be attending?"
"We have our Anthropology final, I don't know how late it'll run." Jeff replied back quickly.
"Well I have a small favor to ask you then..." The Dean leaned in and Jeff recoiled back.
"I don't like where this is going..."
"If you could be...seen...with me at the festival, it would..." He leaned in and closed his eyes, "Really stick it to the person who deserves to have it stuck to because they took MY CAT AND ALL OF MY ENYA CDs!"
"Hmm...pass..." Jeff said, unfazed and rapid-fire, turning and readying to walk away.
"So did you manage to get in to Female Appreciation and Photography?" The Dean called after him, which caused him to stop.
"That class has a two-year waiting list, I've barely been here two years." Jeff answered slowly; every guy on campus was lined up to take that class; all you did was get handed a camera and get to take pictures of female models (and somehow, Greendale has an inordinate number of girls who could be models). Jeff was at best an 'amateur' photographer of women, but he knew if he got into this class, he could end up sleeping with some of the more beautiful women on campus, and why does Jeff Winger do anything? To sleep with beautiful women.
The Dean walked up behind Jeff silently and placed a piece of white paper in his hands, and Jeff's eyes widened when he saw it; an advanced registration form for Female Appreciation and Photography (course code: FAP...ugh). He turned to the Dean.
"What about student equality?"
"I've slowly began to see that not all students are...equal, Jeffrey." The Dean moved to stroke his chest again.
"As long as there's no touching, hand-holding or labels, you have a deal." Jeff answered with a smile.
"Yay!' The Dean raised his hands and shouted, "Don't show anyone that form."
"Yeah, don't worry..." Jeff stopped to think for a second, before he spoke again, "Oh and can you guarantee me something?"
"Depends what you want..." The Dean replied with a sultry tone in his voice, moving closer to Jeff.
"If I'm gonna be taking pictures of beautiful girls, I don't want Britta or Annie there." He said.
"Jeffrey, they're both in the top ten, it's expected that they be there."
"Well they're my...friends..." Jeff hesitated before, during and after he said 'friends'; were they all just friends? Did he not sleep with Britta last week? Did Annie not seem to admit she had feelings for him more than a few times? "I'm helping you, now you help me."
"I will do what I can, Jeffrey."
He turned and left the room without even responding to the Dean.
XXX
"Hey, sorry that the World Food Festival got a little out of hand." Jeff put his hand on the Dean's shoulder. They surveyed the damage; it wasn't 'paintball' bad, but it was pretty bad. Splintered wood and ripped banners were strewn about like cheap debris, and just on the other side of the parking lot, a flipped Ambulance was burning. Aside from that, most of the rioters had dispersed.
"A LITTLE out of hand!" The Dean asked, his tie ripped in half and numerous tears and burns on his shirt, "$30,000 in damages, seven burned cars and three ruined ambulances is MORE than a little out of hand! I was just trying to be a good Dean!"
"Well, even still...I hope it doesn't neutralize our arrangement..." Jeff replied sheepishly.
"I will be needing that form back."
Jeff sighed and removed the form from his pocket. He was about to hand it to the Dean when he heard a slight, mellow voice in front of them.
"Craig..." The man said, and they both turned up; a slight, tiny man with light skin and Abed hair looked at the both of them. Beside him stood a short Asian man that had to be smaller than Chang. They both showed noticeable signs of struggle, with ripped clothes and a few fresh, small cuts on their faces.
"Benjamin..." The Dean replied coolly, "Did you enjoy the festival?"
"I was, until those North Koreans attacked Lee's booth..."
"Yeah, I didn't think putting the North Korean Barbecue next to the South Korean Kimchi display would have caused things to escalate so quickly..."
"You have a habit of not thinking things through..." The small man replied condescendingly. The Dean lowered his face in shame.
Two years at Greendale had changed Jeff. He arrived as a selfish loner who only cared about himself, but his study group had managed to turn him into something resembling a person. He saw how crestfallen the Dean was at his failure, so he stepped forward and extended a hand, "Hi, I'm Jeff..."
XXX
To convince Britta and Annie not to show up for FAP, the Dean had to give them a free half-credit in Feminist Media Studies and Healthcare Sciences, respectively. Jeff got an A+ in FAP.