A/N Hey guys! I know it has taken forever for me to post this and I really and sincerely apologise. With the ending of school and cramming for those finals, then tons of family visiting from waaay up north for my brother's graduation, to an immediate vacation that followed I just haven't found the time to write much. These chapters aren't all that long, I wish they could be at least twice as long. I've been having major writer's blocks lately if you couldn't tell already (hence another reason it has taken me ages to update). I'm trying my best here guys! Stay strong with me! Haha anyways.. please please please review! Anything to boost my confidence with this will be very much appreciated :)
Thank you and well.. enjoy :))
Chapter Four
"Time to wake up, sweet pea." A chilling hand gently shakes my shoulder in an attempt to wake me from my slumber. My eyes stay tightly shut, my body refusing to respond to her command. I then feel her come closer, kissing my forehead; one of her hands cups my cheek and makes me shudder.
"Momma…" I grumble sleepily, annoyed. I reach for the pillow to my right and bring it to me, holding it on my face.
She laughs like a chime bell and says, "Honey, you have to get up. You're going shopping with Alice and Rosie today." She grabs the pillow that covers my face and rips it from me. I squint up at her, the intense sparkle of her and morning sunrays in the room hurting my eyes. After they adjust, I see the twisting iron frame of the bed. Instantly, I am reminded of last night. Body weak and propping myself up on just my elbow, I look beside me on the ground only to see him not there. The sheets are now taken off the mattress and neatly folded on top.
"Where is he? Where's Jacob?" As I speak, my mother's eyes narrow ever so slightly.
"He's downstairs in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Your father made pancakes and bacon." She pulls the covers off me as she always does to get me out of bed. "Now come on, you have to eat."
I nearly glare at her with a disgusted expression. I get up and mutter, "You must really hate me."
She looks at me, deeply shocked and appalled. "I would never hate you, Renesmee. Never."
"Well then why do I have to eat that disgusting human food? You don't." Moving out from under the scrutiny of her gaze, I make my way to the connected bath. To the mirror I go, frightened of how horrible I might look this morning. Naturally, my hair is wild, but it actually looks pretty hot. I turn on the faucet and cold water streams out. Reaching for the towel that someone has already placed there for me, I cup my hands full and splash my face, buff with my bare hands, and I'm good to go. Going makeup free is totally fine when you already have perfect skin.
"That's different and you know it. Vampires can't digest food." She comes and leans against the door frame, crossing her arms as she takes me in.
"Yeah okay, whatever. Help me find something to wear, will you?" I say when I blur into the next room off the bathroom and into the enormous walk in closet, already stocked with racks and racks of brand new clothes. I shake my head and groan. "Alice."
The next second, Mom is searching through the fresh clothes, particularly the color coordinated dress section. She takes reaches for one on a silk covered hanger and shows it to me. "What about this?"
The dress she picks is extremely cute, being a soft blue covered with flowers. Yes, it is floral, but it totally works. At the side of the waist is a big bow which is the same fabric used throughout the dress.
"Is that Abercrombie and Fitch?" I muse, starting to like this piece. Mom checks the tag and confirms, telling me it's a medium – simply for my bust size. I take it from her to try it on, shooing her from the closet. Perfect, I think to myself as I twirl in the mirror and gush at how pretty I look. Opening the door only to find my mom sitting on the edge of the separate tub, her eyes widen and she says, "Oh honey, that is the cutest thing ever! You're so beautiful. My beautiful baby girl." She smiles and hugs me, squealing.
I laugh at how dramatic she's acting. With her hand in mine, we dash down the grand staircase, following the grotesque stench of breakfast into the kitchen. The first thing that catches my eye is him, the person I'm breathing for and living for at this very moment.
"Hey," is the only simple and stupid thing that comes out of my mouth – wanting to smack myself when I say it – as I take a seat beside him at the high topped pub table in the kitchenette. Eyes tracing the grains in the wood for a moment and then to him, I find his gaze boring into mine.
After a brief silence and very thoroughly checking me out, Jacob grins and says, "You look beautiful today."
I smile in thanks back at him and place my hand on his. I'm sorry about last night, baby. My thumb softly chafes his hand.
"Yeah, don't stress. It's no big deal, I guess." A weak smile crosses his lips and I know it's fake. And it makes me feel like such a complete bitch, wishing with all my will that I could go back and change my words and bring myself to say yes. But now both him and I know that I'm so not ready, not even close to being ready for that type of commitment just yet.
Think I can make it up to—
"Goooooooood morning!" Alice sings, hugging me from behind and frightening me half to death.
"Holy shit!" Blurts accidentally from my mouth and my father sends me disapproving daggers. I frown and think to him, Sorry, daddy.
She giggles, letting me go. "Are you ready to go?"
"Psh no, I haven't had breakfast yet." The second I say it, a plate appears in front of me and I immediately look to my father, seeing him chuckle. I examine the food placed there, expecting me to chow it down, so close to puking it's not even funny. Pushing it over to Jacob, I say, "Here, more for you." And then I hop off my stool and head to the refrigerator, opening the door and searching for some yummy blood that will for sure satisfy my cravings.
"Renesmee." Daddy's voice is sharp, sending me to jump.
Yes, daddy? I answer, still in the fridge, rummaging through things.
"You know what Carlisle said. He said that you need to start eating human food for your overall health."
I turn to him with hands on my hips and an I-always-get-my-way sort of look and think, Yeah, and look how I grew the first few years of my life? Totally and completely fine! Come on, daddy. Please? Next comes the signature pouty look, the one that always works.
"Absolutely not." He shakes his head at me, refusing to budge.
Deciding to speak my rage, I shout, "Fine! Then I won't eat! I won't eat anything! I'll just starve myself if this is what you're going to do!" Fuming with the temper that I definitely inherited from him, I dash to Jacob to give him a last lingering kiss and touch on his cheek, noting that he actually hasn't touched the plate I handed him. Then, grabbing the cream cashmere sweater, Vera Bradley lemon parfait wristlet, and my white Xperia cell phone I brought down with me, I stomp out the door and out to the garage, yelling let's go to Rosalie and Alice.
Already seated in Alice's new model of the latest yellow Porsche 911 Turbo that she gets every year, I still see the sun strongly shining outside. She's crazy if she thinks they can go out in public like this. But it's whatever, it's Alice, and everyone already knows she's insane.
Bored all by myself, still waiting for Ali and Rose to get their butts out here, I flip out my phone and begin to text Jacob. That gets me thinking about last night—or rather very early this morning—when he basically proposed and I turned him down flat. It makes me want to vomit. Not because he asked me to be his wife always and forever—swoon—but that I turned him down and the way he feels now. He must know that I love him, right? He imprinted on me and we're like soul mates, together till the end of time and beyond that. I would never choose any other person if I could.
Or would I? And now that gets me thinking of the plane ride and that guy… there was something about him, something strangely different and mysterious. And I was attracted to him. No, Renesmee. Get it together. Jacob is yours and you're his and that's how it will be from now until infinity. You love him and that's how it will always be.
Gah, speak of the devil. He texted me back with a simple, Hey baby. I swiftly reply, apologizing once more, checking to see if he's alright.
"Are you sure you still have your mojo, Alice? It's really sunny out; not a cloud in the sky." I hear Rosalie speak, her and Alice's clicking heels approaching fast.
Alice makes a face to her before she says, "Ohh please. The drive take will take us a good hour and a storm is rolling in to Calgary by then. I can't believe you're losing faith in me, Rosalie."
Auntie Rose laughs. "Whatever, Alice." They then open their doors and seat themselves in the car. I feel Alice's scrutinizing gaze on me as she looks into the backseat to see my legs folded up for my knees to meet my chin.
"What's wrong with—" Rosalie begins to ask before being abruptly cut off by Alice.
"Jacob." And she sighs, such an exhausting sigh at that. "I don't know why you're so upset about it, Renesmee. He asked you to marry him. You said no. He wanted to have sex and you also said no, like you always say no."
Rosalie's hand quickly flies to her mouth as she gasps. Turning around in her seat to see me still in my stressed position she says, "He asked you? Oh my gosh! How could I have missed that?" She looks over at Alice, asking, "How did I miss that?"
She rolls her eyes. "You left to pick up something at our storage unit." Twisting the key into the ignition, her Porsche quietly thrums to life. I watch her in the rearview mirror, watching her clouded gaze as she gets a vision. Her mouth grows wide and she squeals in delight.
"What did you see?" Rosalie muses, still gazing at her.
"Oh nothing." Alice giggles all childlike. She rams her foot down on the gas, the car shooting forward like a lightning bolt, although it seems to affect neither I or Rose.
"Anyway…" Rosalie's body whips into the backseat right beside me, making me flinch hard and causing my legs to fall from the seat and onto the floor. Ecstatically she gushes, "Dish! Tell me how it went!"
My eyes lazily make their way from my lap to her with not even a sliver of expression in them.
Her face falls. "Oh," she murmurs softly, her full and pretty lips forming into a small O. "Sweetheart, show me. Maybe I can help."
Hesitant at first but I give in, knowing it will be good to at least try to get some of this stress off my chest and actually tell someone, rather than everyone else practically gossiping about it behind my back. And so I firmly grasp my aunt's hand and replay the whole ordeal before her eyes.
"Oh geez, well I can see why you turned him down! Spontaneously proposing to you at almost three in the morning on a bed? Ha, I bet he didn't even have a ring! What a jo—" She stops after taking in my worsening mood planted firmly upon my face and all it's features.
I think to her, Not helping… and proceed to wipe the corner of my eye with the back of my hand.
She embraces me, squeezing me tight to her but not tight enough as to crush me with her inhuman strength. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
And in response all she gets from me is barely a shake of my head.
"Are you afraid that he won't ask again, or what?" her left arm begins to chafe my back, surprisingly creating a warmth with the friction.
"Not that." I say. "I know he will ask me again, why wouldn't he? I'm just afraid of hurting him again if I were to give him the same answer. Last night I would have said yes, don't get me wrong, but sort of like what you said that it was not the right time or place. Seriously I want to be blown off of my feet with something special, you know? Someplace special with every detail thought out and planned.
"And aside from that," I pause for a moment to calm myself and take a steadying breath. Quieter I continue with, "Well aside from that, I… I don't know if I'm ready for that. For anything even remotely close to that. All I want in our relationship right now is for him to be there for me when I need him and for him to love me and kiss me and hold me… just that."
"I understand, Renesmee. All the way. You really are too young to think about that right now, merely a six year old."
Half-heartedly laughing simply to ease the tension. "Don't rub it in, Aunt Rose."
She snuggles closer to me and laughs just as I. "You know I don't mean it like that, honey. And I want you to remember, if you ever feel like you are getting pressured into this, if you feel as if he's pressuring you into anything, then you know where to find me and Alice here. We'll be sure to take care of things."
Realizing that what she said is simply a jest, I laugh it off some more and say, "Oh you guys."
Some time after that, the three of us got caught up in a rousing conversation over what to wear for the first day of school before I noticed that we had just arrived in Calgary.
A/N Hope that was okay :) I am already working on the very next chapter so be on the look out! Oh yeah, and be a doll and please review :)
xoxo Maine