The Last Enemy
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: M for sexual content, slash, language, violence, etc
Pairing: L/Light
Setting: Up to episode 25 of the anime, with spoilers of the anime and manga.
Summary: Light's master plan to kill L is shot down by one person's foolish decision and the result leaves Light and Kira at odds within Light.
Kira's speech is in Bold
Everyone else's thoughts are in Italic
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Part Five-
The Turning Point
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You made me throw it all away.
My morals left to decay.
How many you betray.
You've taken everything
- Terrible Lie, NIN
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Day Two
It felt like a sickness, Kira, and one which he was afraid that he could not cure. For all his confidences to himself about ridding himself of such an evil being, for all his confidences to L about his innocence and how he would prove it...Light was nervous and afraid, hating the feelings but unable to stop himself from feeling them.
The toll of holding back such an entity was already taking its toll in the few hours since Kira had broken away from Light (spiritually at least). He could feel him, it, there underneath the surface, waiting, plotting, to get out.
You can hold me back so long, Light. Only so long. I am not even trying my hardest and you are starting to crumble. How do you think you'll fare once I put forth my full strength?
Leave me alone you beast!
He could feel Kira grinning at him and he felt something wither inside of him. How could he have held such a ghastly thing inside of himself for so long? It was a wonder that he didn't succumb completely; he supposed he should feel a little grateful that Kira was separate from him now (though not in body) and was no longer infecting him with its evil. Now the only problem was how to extricate Kira completely from himself, but was that truly possible? He mentally sighs; it was one problem mixed liberally with another, for Kira was the cause of all the trouble he was in now, making him do things which he would not have normally done, but he just couldn't say anything like that to L ever; the man would probably laugh in his face before sending him off to fry in the electric chair. (And only that if he was lucky.)
No...this was something that had to be dealt with on his own. And soon; for he only had a window of thirteen days which to convince L of his innocence, before the man would undoubtedly find out that they the two rules in the back of the Death Note were indeed fake and would completely blow apart everything Light had known or would ever know.
He didn't trust L completely, he couldn't. Especially because he knew he wasn't worthy of the man's trust because of the underlying truth which the detective seemed to know from the beginning and because when it came down to it...he didn't trust himself. Not when he had an evil entity within his body which might be able to take over at anytime if he was anything less than vigilant (or even if he was.)
It bothered Light because after gathering up all his thoughts (which had splintered quite easily beneath the malicious hands of Kira when he broke down and had to put them all back together again) he realized that he liked L. Truly liked him. The man was his equal in every way, something which he had given up on finding, for even the smartest person could not hold a candle to himself, no...not until he meets up with a man with the widest black eyes and the strangest ways of sitting did he realize that he wasn't alone in the world anymore, not doomed to go through life eternally bored. It was only a shame that he realized this under the ever watchful eyes of Kira who was dominating him at that time.
His mind and spirit were separate from Kira now, though they shared the same body, but he still didn't trust himself, not completely, nor would until he could find a way to rid himself of Kira. There was also the fact that he was not sure if L even liked him that way. He didn't define himself with labels like 'gay' or 'straight' or whatever, because he hated labels and he had never liked anyone before, male or female. He had almost considered himself an a-sexual until he realized how deep his feelings for L truly ran. He was glad that he figured out how he felt about L now (although it was still rather inconvienient) than when he was controlled by Kira and the Death Note. Kira would most definitely have used it to his advantage and would have seduced the detective in order to get him close and strike the final blow on him.
He pauses. On the other hand...if he could get close enough to L...like that, maybe he could find a way to show L that he was the innocent one and would find the solution out of this mess that he had been racking his brains trying to figure out.
A sudden hand on his shoulder startles him and he lets out a gasp, whirling around, his eyes turning to look directly into large black ones.
L.
L peers at him. "Are you all right, Light-kun? You've just been sitting there staring into space for awhile now. I was..." He stops, frowning. Light stares.
He was worried about me?
He manages a smile, not hearing L's sudden intake of breath and looks at the detective. It was after two in the morning and the rest of the detectives had been sent back home for some rest a short while back.
"I'm fine, Ryuuzaki." His smile turns teasing. "You were worried about me? I didn't know you cared."
L's hand suddenly darts off his shoulder in an instant and the detective's face closes off before he abruptly turns around. "I don't." He said shortly, walking off. Light sat there stunned for a moment at the sudden change in the older man and then he remembered that he had kissed L, watched the man stand there stunned right afterwards. Maybe the man was disgusted with him. He like that thought at all. It might have felt sudden to him in ways, but the fact of the matter was that he truly cared for the man; something which he only realized after his breakdown. He didn't dare to say anything but care; he didn't dare let himself think of those other words.
He stands up and quickly catches up with the detective. He places a hand on L's shoulder, just like the man did to him a moment before. L suddenly stops walking and stands their stiffly.
"Let go of me, Light." His voice was flat, in a tone which Light had never heard him speak. It took Light a moment to realize that L hadn't added the usual -kun to his name; L was shutting himself off.
"No," he whispered. These were new feelings to him and he didn't know what L thought of him, if he liked him or hated him, but for whatever reason, he would not let the man shut himself down. Not because of him.
The voice of Kira was blessedly silent as Light speaks, his hand still lying on the man's shoulder, "Don't...don't act that way, Ryuuzaki. Look at me. Why are you acting this way? No matter what you have thought of me as, as Kira, or as whatever, you've never acted this way. I--" He felt vulnerable and cringed at the feeling, but he was willing to do so, he was willing to speak, to make the first move because he didn't think that L would make the first move and be open with him, even if it was just for friendship, true friendship, not the fake one that they had. He growls slightly, angry at the man's continual silence and stillness. "Damnit L, look at me!"
L turns around so suddenly, his head whipping around that Light's hand falls from L's shoulder. The look in the man's eyes left him stunned and it was all he could do to just stand there. It was...he couldn't describe it. He had never seen a look like it before. L's eyes blazed as they looked into him, seeming to go through him, to his soul and all the light and dark things within him. He shivers. He couldn't say what they were filled with, whether it was hate or passion or anything; they defied anything he had ever known.
L had defied anything he had ever known.
His eyes widen as L suddenly pushes open the door behind Light and pushes him inside. Light, still stunned from the emotion in the man's eyes, did not resist.
"I am looking at you," said L, lowly. "I have never not looked at you. And that is the problem." His eyes move up and down Light's body. Light felt a sudden flush envelop him. He had never seen the man act this way. Was this...was this what L was truly like? Were all those mannerisms...those gestures...were they the lie?
"Ryuuzaki--" He croaked. His heart was racing and he was growing harder just from looking at the man.
L's eyes narrow. "No. Do not call me that, Light-kun. Only if I get to call you Kira."
"No!" He exclaimed, mixed with a mental shout of the same caliber. "No. No. God, Ryuuzaki, no. What can I do, say, to make you believe that I'm not Kira? Kira is evil, cold, calculating--"
"And very smart," L interjected smoothly. "Just like you, Light-kun. So many of the same qualities, how was I not supposed to be suspicious?" He looks up and down Light's body once more, almost contemptuously. "Do you think I don't know what you are trying to do? I have seen you staring at me. Watching me, talking the way you do, wearing the things you do...do you really think that I would or could succumb to temptation and just forget about the Kira case?"
That left Light stunned. "No. No, I nev--"
"Then why did you kiss me on the roof?" L all but snarled. "I know it was not because of me, because you liked me. Do not try and play me for a fool, Light-ku--"
This time it was he who interupted. "Because I wanted to all right? I don't care if you don't believe me, because it's true. I like you and that is why. I had no alterior motive." He gulps. "I...all I could think of was seeing how you tasted."
L lets out a small cry and pushes Light backwards, making him fall onto the bed that had been behind him. It was a bedroom, surroundings which he hadn't noticed, he hadn't noticed anything but the man in front of him. He gasps as L moves on top of him, kissing him hungrily. He moans.
"Damn you. Damn you--" muttered L against his lips, making him shiver as he thrusts his tongue inside.
It was too much and it was all happening so fast. His hands shake as they move to L's shoulders, he shudders as L's hands touch his sudden hot skin under his shirt, pulling it up. The shirt gets tossed onto the floor. He cries out when L's mouth moves over one of his nipples. L's eyes suddenly look up into his, his mouth moving from Light's chest.
"Don't--don't look at me like that," said L, quietly. "Oh god, Light-kun don't. You make me want to--" He looks away ashamed, as if his next words bothered him more than the fact that he what he was doing with his main suspect. "...believe you. Believe in you. Don't look at me like that."
"Believe in me." Said Light, hoarsely. "Believe in me. Please, L-kun. For gods sake, believe in me and look at me!"
L lets out a choked cry and captures Light's lips again.
Help me, L-kun. I don't care. I don't care! I will make you believe me! I will make you believe in me. Together we can rid of the world of Kira. Just please--
"--trust me." Said Light, shuddering. "L-kun. Please."
I don't know how to stop. How to stop him.
L looks up at him again and they stare at each other for a long moment.
"Then tell me everything, Light-kun." Such honesty in the man's gaze seared Light to the deepest parts of his soul. "Everything. No secrets between us; which means the same for me. No secrets. Tell me--" His lips graze Light's. "Afterwards."
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He lay interwined with L, letting the aftershocks fade away, enjoying the feeling of L's hand move through his hair. He hadn't known that he could truly feel that intimate with another person, but L blew every perception he had away. But he was dreading what would have to come next. His resolution to do things alone had crumbled with a blazing look in the man's eyes. He appreciated that L was giving him these few moments to recover before speaking, for once he did, then everything would change, whether for the good or bad remained to be seen. But L was absolutely right; there couldn't be any secrets between them and L had started off in the biggest way, showing more trust than Light had expected; he had given Light his name.
L Lawliet...
He was putting an unhealthy amount of trust in Light, seeming to see something in Light that Light had been afraid had disappeared from the evil of Kira. He was putting his trust down, waiting, hoping, for Light to do the same.
He leans his head up to kiss L, relishing the feeling between them, an intimacy he hadn't ever known, but now that he had a taste of it, he was determined to keep it.
"Lawliet-kun," he starts, liking how the name sounded on his tongue. "It--it started at school. I noticed a notebook on the ground--"
Back in his mind, where Light could not hear or feel his presence. Kira watched with open eyes and a snarl.
You will pay for this. Both of you. Relish the time you have now; my prison cannot hold me for much longer and I will show you the true power of a god, better than a god of death. I will make you bow before me before I kill you the most painful way possible. It's the least you two deserve.
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A/N: Wow! I finished the chapter! I'm glad; I had lost a bit of will to write anything for awhile, but I guess reading A Long Hard Road helped me. That fic is the absolutely best Cloud/Sephiroth fic I have ever read. It is the best FINAL FANTASY fic I have ever read, in fact it is one of the best fics I have ever read PERIOD. I felt the sudden urge to work on this after reading the fic and I got straight to it, because I didn't want to lose that inspiration. I worked non-stop on this until I finished the chapter. I had just finished a small bit of the beginning of the chapter awhile back, I did everything else all at once.
Okay, so this went in a slightly different direction that I expected, but I can work with that. I like where it's going, it's different but a GOOD different.
I hope everyone enjoyed this!
Let me know what you thought!
--PhoenixJustice