The man in black, Zangetsu, as he named himself, has filled me in somewhat.
I'm right here. You don't have a book, and I can't see your diary, or whatever it is you are narrating to.
Good, then you can stay right there and be quiet.
The boy named Ichigo, in which we live, goes by the title of 'King', as he is the master in this world.
Feh.
Fat chance. He is King only until I reach out and snatch the crown from his hands. And when I get the chance, that is precisely the action I shall take.
For now, I will play along.
I heard that.
I know you heard that. Shut up!
Alot has happened, since I came to consciousness, the kid fought the man in the hat. Urahara is his name, as he told the kid, and now, it seems because he knows, I know.
I also know that Ichigo has little chance of defeating him. Ichigo didn't realize it, until the man demonstrated his power, but I knew.
I can sense his power, something Ichigo doesn't seem to be able to do.
Eventually, the kid draws on 'Zangetsu' and I can almost see Zangestu giving him power, even though the old bastard ain't moving.
Again, I can hear you. Perhaps you would wish to actually create some sort of diary, so that I would not have to hear you speak?
Buzz off, old man!
Anyway, alot of stuff has happened.
The kid finished the fight with 'hat and clogs' as he calls him, and then his friends came, there was a chick with orange hair, and the biggest boobs I've ever seen!
Her new name is Big-Boobs 1.
Oh, yeah, there was a big Mexican guy, Chad, and a pencil-necked dweeb named Ishida.
Their new names are BMG and Pencil neck.
And a black cat.
Yep, a cat name Yoruichi.
...
Why the hell are we bringing it along?
Why does it have a name?
Why the Hell was a cat even there?
Anyway, 'Hat and clogs' opened up a gateway, where they were chased by this big wooly-mammoth-lookin' thing.
The girl did some sort of shield magic and they escaped.
It is called Santen Kesshun.
Yeah, yeah...
Then, they tried to get into the 'Sereitei' place, and Ichigo almost got crushed by a wall. Pathetic. He was almost killed an an inanimate object.
...
What? I know big words, too.
They they fought some weird giant dude, can't remember his name. He talked about manliness, I think, and brought out some big-ass axes.
Though, they were kinda funny looking. Maybe that's why they broke.
Anyway, Ichigo won, and the dude opened the gate.
A skinny guy with silver hair appeared and asked the gatekeeper why he opened the gate, the giant said that since Ichigo won, he, as the gatekeeper, was obliged to open it.
Skinny dude scolded the giant, and said. 'No, if the gatekeeper loses, he does not open the gate. If the gatekeeper loses, he is dead.' Which I thought was pretty awesome.
Then, awesome skinny dude,
Why do you insist in giving nickname to people?
Hey! I'm telling the story here, dammit!
Awesome skinny dude cut off the giant's arm, and shot out his sword, thrusting Ichigo out.
I do not particularly like that word, and I think your grammar could use some work.
You're just mad because your sword ain't made for anything but chopping.
After that, Ichigo got in a fight with a guy in a green bandanna, who rode a boar, who ran off after yelling about the time.
Ichigo wanted wait for Green Bandana to get back.
Really? 'Green Bandana'? What's next, 'Goggles'?
Shut up, I'm running out of catchy nicknames.
Anyway the talking cat wanted to go visit someone, and Ichigo wanted to stay, and wait for 'Green Bandana' to come back.
Everyone tried to get him to move.
If, by everyone, you mean Ishida.
Yeah, yeah, Pencil-neck tried to get Ichigo to move, and the dumb-ass wanted to stay and wait for 'Bandana', to make sure it didn't look like he had not run away.
'Bandana'? You're shortening it already? Keep some consistency, at least. If you keep this up, I might have to put you back to sleep.
Hey, I'm a bloody hollow, we're all mentally unstable due to the multitude of souls inside us.
You consist of approximately zero complete souls right now. You only qualify as a hollow because of your reiryoku.
Reir-what?
Reiryoku is your personal spiritual energy.
... I'm just calling it Spiritual Energy from now on.
But you should really use the proper term, Reiryoku is fundamental in understanding-
Its Spiritual Energy!
Anyway, talking cat had enough of his bullshit, and scratched him across the face.
Talking cat's name is now changed to 'Slightly-awesome cat'.
Slightly-awesome cat told us we were looking for 'him'.
The cat lead us to a house with great big hands holding up an banner, proclaiming 'Shiba Kuukaku'.
Two fairly big guys showed up and were probably gonna lay a wailing on the group, but one of them recognized the cat.
And the cat's name is Yoruichi-dono.
So apparently well known enought o be respected.
A respected cat.
I think I'm high.
Can spirits get high?
No.
Then my life... Afterlife... my existance is pretty damn weird.
Do you have anything to compare it to?
No, and shut up.
Then the cat introduced us to 'him'.
'Him' turned out to be a woman. Oddly, enough.
Maybe the cat has gender pronouns mixed up?
Any, the woman, Big-Boobs 2, showed us-
... 'Big-Boobs 2'? I would've thought you'd have gone with the more obvious 'One-Arm.'
What? Are you telling me that you think I'd go so low as to pick on someone for losing a limb?
... Frankly? Yes.
I'm shocked that you would think of me like that.
Hmmm. Perhaps my first impression of you was wr-
I mean, I'm the kid's 'darker urges'. I gotta be a little more sexist than that.
...
...
*Sigh* Continue.
Like you could stop me.
Big-Boobs 2 decides to help us and guess who's our new helper?
The wall slides across and reveals a young man who politely bows with his eyes closed, and says he is pleased to meet us.
He opens his eyes.
And the screaming begins.
That's right! ITS BANNNDDDDAAAANNNNA!
They rush at each other and start fighting.
Then Big-Boobs 2 ends the fight with her fist, and one foot.
Ichigo and Bandana both agree that his sister is very scary.
She leads us through a corridor that glows brightly, and explains that she used light-vine to make it so bright.
When Pencil-Neck asks what 'Light-vine' is, she ignores him.
I am considering raising her status to 'Slightly more Awesome Big-Boobs 2.'
...Damn, that's a mouthful. Of course, she would be, too.
Alright, that's enough. Stop talking.
No, and I'm going to continue with the story.
She forces her brother to open a door, and shows us a huge cannon.
1.
What? Anyway, she then tells us she plans to get us into the Serietei by air.
2.
Hey, why am I getting dizzy? Why is my foot turning into spots?
And then she tells us she's the number one Fireworks master in the Serietei...
3. You're done.
Hey! Why am I vanishing! And the spots are going into your cloak!
I'll get you for thissss ZZZZAAAAANNNNNGGGGEsstuu...
End chapter.