The Theory of Training Animals to Fight Daleks
There has been a theory that you can train pets/animals to fight Daleks as you run away screaming like a little baby. The 'fight' part is not true. The 'annoy the living crap out of and distract it' part is. Today I will be telling you about picking an animal to distract a Dalek while, like I said earlier, you runaway screaming like a little baby (which is fine because it keeps you alive, although the scream is unnecessary!).
Dog – Can have annoying bark. Not the best idea. Usually not your pet because you love it too much, but if your wife has a chiwawa it would make for a good throwing object, but no distraction pet.
Cat – This is again, a good throwing object, but no distraction pet.
Rhinoceros – This is the best possible animal to distract a Dalek, because it can charge it, the Dalek gets freaked out, runs, blasts it and you're out of sight.
Hippopotamus – Only if you can throw it would this be a good animal to use.
Horse – Possibly if it were attached to explosives. This could also work with donkeys like they do in the Middle East (I think).
Cow – It would be a good animal if it could run, but sadly it can't unless it's a bull.
Bull (in response to cow) – A great distraction animal if its senses tell it to kill Daleks!
Human – The best distraction animal because humans are smart enough to hatch a plan. Shoot it with stuff in the eye to make it mad and then ride it like a pony. I tell you not to because this is a SURVIVAL guide. The distraction human is not meant to survive, thus he will ride it like a pony. Just be sure you're not the human picked for the distraction. Hire a gothic person or trick a redneck or something in to doing it for you.
Blogillman – This is by far the best pet to use if it can run. You'd have to read Letters to the Doctor to find out what one is, but this is one key pet to have, my friend.
Thank you for reading. This one is also short, so in return next time I will give you some Dalek History that will be funnier and longer! Please review or I will send my pet Rhinoceros and Human after you!