AN: This is obviously not the next chapter but more of a filler chapter intended to set the stage a bit further. This idea came to me a few weeks back but I didn't have any inspiration back then. Now it seems like a good way to transition into the climax of the 1st arc. For those of you that don't remember by the way, this is a three-arc story, with each arc divided into two sub-arcs. Right now, we're in the second half of arc 1, the first half having been up through the formation of the x-blade. I've yet to decide if I want the individual arcs to be split into different stories or just continue it in the same story, so if you have a preference, let me know. If I had to guess, I'd probably estimate being about 4-5 chapters out from the end of this first arc, but I could change that plan if I decide to cut some unnecessary scenes or add some last second stuff in. I'm not the type to plan a story out in thorough detail, I have a general outline of events for all three arcs and let my imagination take over from there. Anyway, let me know what your preference is regarding either continuing in a new story or continuing on with the same one. Also, just so we're aware, this is from Roxas's point of view in this filler chapter and is occurring as Sora journey's back to Destiny Island. Several people asked via messages about the descent into despair that Sora went through and the burden of war. Imagine this chapter like a Television 'clip show', a collection of flashbacks that Roxas is having. Finally, I want to thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter. It makes writing much easier and gives me more inspiration to keep going than you can possibly imagine. Anyway, my rambling is finished. Hope you enjoy!

The Price of War

Years…Who had ever guessed it would go on so long? Who would have guessed that so many would be dead? Friends, enemies, innocent bystanders, or even just complete strangers. They had their own hopes and dreams, aspirations for the future and yet this war had consumed them all in its ever-expanding wrath. At first, Sora had been sure that King Mickey was being paranoid about Maleficent's power and forces. After Xehanort's Heartless and Xemnas, Maleficent was a joke by comparison.

What Foolish dreams those had been. What a child Sora had been then…What children they had all been back that.

Maleficent's war had arrived quickly and swiftly, sending a tidal wave of panic through the worlds. Even Riku for all his maturity and experience with Maleficent had been unprepared for the sheer brutality of it. Previous enemies focused on destroying the world or destroying major enemies. Maleficent had sent heartless and nobodies with only one instruction, kill anyone that got in their way. The lust of the heartless for fresh hearts only drove them to battle harder. At first, Sora had seemed like his normal self, bright, cheerful and optimistic. It was only after the deaths and casualties began to grow in number that the light in his eyes began to change and darken.

Flashback

Wordlessly Roxas flashed into existence beside his other half as he sat alone on the tree branch of the play island where Sora, Kairi and Riku had made so many plans years ago of rafting to new worlds and finding new adventures. Now those times together as a group grew further and further apart. At any moment, Mickey's summons could arrive via the small communication device he had given to Sora. Time to be teenagers and friends were no longer common and Roxas had noticed Sora seemed to find what little peace he could in simply watching the sun rise and set every day. As if that small bit of repetition gave him solace that the worlds would not end, that life would continue on.

It had been a particularly challenging few days for the young Keyblade Master. Maleficent's attacks had stepped up. Attacks that had been occurring every few weeks, while she built her numbers and fully mastered her powers, now happened at least weekly. However, they had never failed to battle her forces back entirely or at least hold them off until all the inhabitant were evacuated to Disney Castle or Radiant Garden.

However there was a first time for everything.

A young girl, perhaps five at the oldest, had gotten separated from the group Donald and Goofy were leading to safety. She had been pounced upon by heartless the second she found herself alone in the world of Notre Dame. Sora had seen her in time and lead an almost artistic attack to destroy the heartless while also fending off the higher level heartless and nobodies he had already been engaging. She was still breathing by the time he eliminated the enemies, it was too late for her. They had not clawed out her heart, but they had gashed at her throat and chest. As she lay in Sora's arm, she bled to death, the blood marking Sora's clothes and skin as he begged the girl to wake up again. Seeing people turned to heartless was hard as it was but he had never experienced such a young child dying in such a brutal and terrible manner.

The already traumatizing experience was only furthered by the girl's mother rushing to Sora. Upon seeing her mutilated daughter, she had cursed Sora and screamed at him, asking why he could save everyone but her daughter and what kind of keyblade master was he supposed to be if he couldn't protect people. The verbal barbs only weakened Sora's already fragile mental state. He was only a teenager after all and considering his battles as the keyblade master began at fourteen, he had barely even gotten to experience being a normal teenager for one complete year.

As Roxas had watched from within Sora's heart and mind, some of the light went out.

It had been several days since then and Sora had refused to open up about what he was feeling. Riku had tried, King Mickey had found time to come and try to talk to Sora, Donald and Goofy, even Kairi had tried. Although the relationship they were in at the time was stressed by the attacks, he usually would talk to her. It was only the first step towards the end of their relationship when he stopped opening up his heart to her.

"What happened wasn't your fault Sora. You tried your hardest." He didn't even receive a turn of the head in acknowledgement of his presence.

"My hardest wasn't good enough then was it, Roxas? What kind of Keyblade Master am I, if I can't even save one helpless little girl. I should have been faster. I have to be. I can't ever be so slow again.

"Why don't you talk to Kairi, Sora? Maybe she could help you feel better and…"

From the speed that Sora's head turned and the harshness of his glare, Roxas felt almost as if he had whiplash. He had seen that glare directed at few people since rejoined with Sora; Maleficent, Xemnas, Saix, but never once had he be on the receiving end of it.

"I don't want to feel 'better' Roxas! That poor girl doesn't get to feel better, why should I? I'm going to stop her! No matter what the cost! No matter what the sacrifice! I'll stop her! I won't ever let these people down again!"

His vow soon became an obsession.

End Flashback

At first it had almost been a bit of a relief, to see Sora taking his responsibilities so seriously. Kairi had fretted and Riku had reassured her it was likely just Sora's personal way of grieving and Roxas had agreed at first. Endless days of Sora training on the beach, forcing Riku to often join him in order to push himself to his limits. When Riku would not join in, he would spend hours running through katas, working on his control of magic or even work on hand to hand combat. He had found a martial artist on the main island to teach him the basics in case he was ever unable to summon the Keyblade. The feelings of helplessness from when Riku had taken the keyblade had been revived during a spar when Riku, with his clear, calm and precise strikes had managed to disarm him with relative ease after Sora let his emotions take over in the heat of battle.

Days had turned into weeks which had turned into months though and instead of returning to his normal self, he had only grown more intense, more cynical and more distant from everyone around him. Kairi had tried so hard to reach him and bring her boyfriend back from the slippery slope he was on. However, if one part of Sora had remained it was his desire to keep her safe and that combined with his inability to cope with the stress of war and the death had eventually overwhelmed them and destroyed what had once made both of them so happy.

Flashback

"It won't hurt to take one day off of training will it Sora? Just one day."

"Kairi! We're at war! I have to be ready! I can't waste any time when I could be training to be better!"

"Sora…It wasn't your fault. You've done your best. You're not perfect."

"Really Kairi? I'm not perfect? I wasn't aware, please tell me more. I should have been better! They depended on me, they looked up to me, they were counting on me. I let them down! I've let everyone down…"

"I'm still here Sora…" The tears in Kairi's eyes were unmistakable but whereas a year ago he would have done anything to stop her crying, Sora couldn't bring himself to care too much. "…Riku is still here, King Mickey, Donald Goofy, Leon, Yuffie…People throughout the worlds who owe their lives to you. They believe in you. Don't give into this grief Sora…let us in…let us help you…"

"Nobody can help me with this. Nothing except seeing Maleficent's head at my feet. She had to pay for what she's done. She's evil, Kairi. Pure evil and I want her dead!"

The sheer vehemence that he said this with only caused the tears to multiply and begin falling down her face To hear him speak with such coldness and hate was so very wrong. It was it was not even Sora speaking to her anymore, but a cruel imposter that just looked like him.

"Sora…I'm your girlfriend…I love you…it's my job to be there for you and help you…more than that I want to be someone you can let down your guard with. I'll be there with you in those battles if that's what it takes but I won't leave you alone…You don't have to always be so strong Sora"

"No you won't" His statement was so calm and resolute and matter of fact that it caught her off guard, even more so because he didn't even bother to elaborate on what he meant.

"No I won't what Sora?"

"You won't be in the battles obviously."

"What in the worlds do you mean Sora? Of course I'll be in the battles. We need everyone we can get and I'm a Keybearer and most importantly, I'm going to be there to help you. I'm not going to leave you alone to face this on your own."

A roll of the eyes was the closest she had received to emotion in his reply, almost as if the conversation was not worth the effort any longer. Although in hindsight, Roxas supposed, Sora had been much harsher than necessary. Although he wasn't sure if he was being honest or just protecting himself from more hurt by distancing himself. He had certainly done it often in the years since that time.

"You may bear a Keyblade but you are raw and untrained. You're also a princess and therefore a walking target and I cannot wait around to protect you in battle. I have responsibilities and I can't hover around you like a bodyguard and neither can Riku or any of the others. You're a liability to us. It's better if you just stay safe like the other princesses. You have a place and it's here."

"I have a right to fight to defend my home just as much as you do Sora! Don't you dare speak to me that way."

"You've been kidnapped twice Kairi. If you were able to hold your own in battle, that wouldn't have happened. Instead you don't try to come out here and better yourself but you sit there trying to talk to me as if something's wrong when in reality I'm finally seeing things clearly for the first time!"

"If you have so much to do that being around me and loving me is too much of a challenge and a burden on you, oh mighty Keyblade Master, then perhaps we should just stop dating…" For Roxas, it was easily noticeable that she was begging him to deny her, to hold her and go back to being his true self. Unfortunately, Sora's heart was too distant to see that.

"Perhaps it would be a good idea…at least until the war is over.."

Sora didn't get to finish because Kairi had run past him and began going home.

End Flashback

The split had been official after that and despite friends trying to talk to them and see if they might be able to reconcile once they saw how miserable they were alone, nothing could get through to Sora. Although Riku had certainly made his point when he gave Sora a black eye the day after Sora and Kairi's argument. It wasn't the first time the two had been in a fight, but it had taken Riku quite some time to truly forgive or at least accept that Sora did what he felt was right.

The differences between Sora and his family had also been growing, Roxas noticed. From the very time they had arrived back at Destiny Islands, there had been an uncomfortable rift between the three Keybearers and their families with the most obvious ones taking place between Riku, Sora and their families. Their families simply could not grasp the immensity of what their sons had accomplished and what they meant to the worlds. So they did what any parent would do, ignored the reality of the situation. They had two teenagers who likely were exaggerating about what had happened while they were gone and were now back. They were still teenage boys and would live like them. Of course, that had not suited well and the restrictions chafed on the boys who had given so much freedom and responsibility, only to be put in a cage upon returning home. It had only gotten worse with the rise of Maleficent's forces. The families were forced to accept the reality of their sons' roles in the fate of the world. Yet this was a fate or destiny they could not help them with and while Riku's parents tried to help, Sora's parents merely chose to live in ignorant bliss. They made it into almost a game that really had no consequences because accepting their son could die any given day for people they had never and likely never would meet was simply too much for his family. They had a young daughter to care for and the liked the life they had, upsetting the balance like this was just too much.

They loved their son to death but they couldn't accept or condone a teenage boy trying to save the worlds. It just didn't seem right to them. He should be dating and sneaking out to go to parties, not racing to other worlds and coming back bloodied and bruised. They had tried to talk to him about letting the adults deal with the problem only to be told rather harshly that they didn't have a clue what they were talking about and that if they couldn't support him, to get out of his way and let him do what needed to be done.

The lectures about missing school to join battles, about breaking up with Kairi since she was a liability, about never being around to watch his sisters when his parents wanted him to babysit, about not ever wanting to go out and have fun with friends or just not seeming to care about his family anymore, it had only added onto his stress and made him more tense and uptight around everyone else. Roxas supposed in their own way they were trying to reach out to their son in their own way since they couldn't truly understand what he needed

With death on his hands, then losing Kairi to his own pain and now feeling isolated from his own family, it had only been a matter of time before Sora began to sink further into depression. When he needed to be forced into talking and opening up, people instead respected his wishes and left him be, allowing him to further isolate himself. If he spent time with his friends, it was spent discussing the war. Although he and Kairi managed a civil friendship in the years of war that followed, it was never quite as strong or solid as it had been during or prior to the formation of their relationship.

Ever since this blasted war began, Sora had never been the same. There was no cheer, no joy, no kindness left in him it seemed. No longer was he innocent and carefree, he had woken up to the harsh reality of life. I used to wonder what he would think about as he sat on the tree branch and watched the sunset, staring off into the horizon, his mind in hundreds of different places, in the hearts of all those whose lives he had touched. Now though, I wish I did not know. Instead the battles and deaths have combined and live in my mind as well, our mind. Plans, schemes, strategy, tactics, they inhabit my mind as much as the bloody scenes of war have been implanted onto our minds. Now they race across our two minds that have become one with such speed and consistency that to forget the horrors for even a mere moment has become impossible.

It's fitting, in a way. Those we have lost have become a part of us. It's as if, from that very first inevitable moment that fate took us by the hand and led us onto the cruel world of the battlefield, the burden of a world in destruction was grafted by hot-iron onto our souls. Not long after, we would discover that just as the world in which we had spilled our first blood had crumbled, involuntarily, so were we beginning to.

Day by day.

Piece by Piece.

Shard by Shard.

Until nothing was left of the strong person he, and by extension I, used to be.

I've watched him slip away. So many things have bled from him, seeming to seep from his very existence as the war continues to wage, that I believe he himself has been lost to it…

The first casualty was his innocence. I watched it pool at his feet as a crimson liquid oozing from his victims. Each death was another severed tie, following in succession as the next lash on a martyr's back comes from the whip in his own hand. Soon I watched it flee this life, this constant state of hatred, a radiant satellite aglow in the sky. He bid it farewell silently, without remorse. Without anything, really; any emotion at all was lost soon after, along with anything else.

I know the exact moment he lost that shining light of hope, that little glimmer that kept him going, when he surrendered everything he had within him; I felt it in myself. We are the same person, after all, in a roundabout way. Except, now, we are torn from one another, long since separated. We were one once, at some point before the madness, I suppose, but now the two of one stand apart, and the nothing has everything that the something has lost.

In the beginning, we both knew what we were fighting for. We were both proud to make a stand against those who prowled the dark edges of the universe. We were frightened, yes-of death and more; nervous, beyond belief; unprepared, certainly-despite our years fighting the darkness-but we were certain beyond all doubt that what we were doing had a purpose.

He's lost sight of that now. It's as if it has fled his conscious mind altogether, tied as a tiny anchor to the innocence that flew away so long ago. He has been left hollow, simply another pawn in the war, striving tirelessly, but without a cause. Even knowing that, they still say we fight the same; identical, with the same drive, the same skill, power, and grace-the same fire in our eyes… I don't believe them

His fire has gone out.

And I worry for the day when he realizes that as well.

He continues to force himself to be strong though and even as we move back towards the Destiny Islands to try and turn the tide of this battle in time to save the lives of our friends, I have to wonder, when we'll have time to save ourselves. This weapon, it makes us feel fulfilled and fully alive again but I don't trust this foreign power. It feels so right and yet also so very wrong. It numbs the pain but the power acts of its own accord.

We are the Keybearers

We are the hope for others

We are the ones who will do what must be done to save others.

We are the willing sacrifice

We are those who will pay the price of this war.

AN: And now we come to the end, my original plan had intended to use a scene with his family but my imagination ran dry and I wanted to save that event for later on. I do hope you liked this little thing I threw together. If I do it again in the future, I'll try to keep it to only once an arc to prevent getting sidetracked from the main plot. Don't forget to let me know if you prefer continuing all arcs in this story or starting a new one for each arc.