A/N

Wow! We finished this one a whole lot sooner than I had thought! So exciting! You're gonna love what the next chapter holds I think. So enjoy this one!

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it.

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Hope you like it…

She is the reason for my existence.

And I blew it…

My mind was an endless black parade of misery. Every flower seemed to turn gray and wither as I saw it. My heart was thumping in disarray, confused at whether to speed up and kick into high gear, or slow down and wait till the end. If I am to be truthful, my mind was following the same uneven patterns and I did not know whether I should do things over and actually talk to the Dark Lord or just let myself die here by the withering flowers in the new mud created by the steady flow of rain that was now beating heavily on my head. The sky was no longer a soft shade of fading blue hues that the sky took on before it was to say goodnight, but instead it was gray, just as the flowers were.

Tonight there was to be no thunder to be heard, only silent lightning, striking on innocent bystanders who could not hear the deadly cracks as it approached much like a snake, rearing in for the kill.

Looking out on the darkened gloom of nature, I pondered upon what to do next. The urge to just give up was a nagging weight on my body, but to lose all hope would be to let myself die of sorrow. Lightning split the sky, and for a brief second it felt like the world was ablaze in white fire. It was lonely without its love Thunder to accompany it, and angrily Lightning struck the earth again. A tree off in the distance burst into flame, the bright color of it making me flinch. The sheer color of the jovial conflagration made me want to try once again. Maybe she would believe me this time.

Balling my fists, I made my decision and walked determinedly towards the dark forest to my left, a towering jungle of overgrowth, to apparate.

My ears buzzed with the crackling of the burning tree and my stomach burned as if I had just had some Firewhiskey. If I was going to talk to Lord Voldemort, I would need to work it fast. His attack would be nine days from now, though he's been planning for months.

There was a sour and bitter taste in my mouth that I knew could not be removed unless I was to be successful.

I shut my eyes and willed my magic to encase me, and pull me to the location I knew the Dark Lord was residing. Within seconds I was hurrying up the walk. At the door I pressed my mark against its dark wood, and with a hiss, it opened before me. Up the stairs of the massive house I ran, straight to Voldemort's personal quarters.

Turning the corner, I almost tripped over the massive snake Nagini, who hissed angrily at me and bared her knife like fangs before slithering away. Steeling my resolve, I approached the Dark Lord's door. It opened before I had a chance to say a word.

"Sssssseverussss..." he whispered as I kneeled before him, "It is a pleasure to ssssee you, my most trusted." I kissed the hem of his robe, pushing disgust into the very crevices of my determined mind.

"My Lord," I responded, looking up at his monstrous face. "I came to thank you." For a brief moment, I recognized a miniscule flicker of human curiosity in his pale featured. It disappeared as quickly as it came. I felt a probing presence in my mind. He searched until he found my rage at Potter. His face broke into a malicious grin that chilled me to the bone.

He could see what I wanted him to see. The fool actually thought he might be able to break into my mind!

His smile was sickeningly sweet.

"Sso Ssseveruss, you do agree with my plans of raid?" he hissed, cocking his head to the side, stroking Nagini.

I gave him one curt nod and unhooked my crossed arms from behind my back.

"For the most part I do, my Dark Lord." I replied, my tone completely emotionless.

Voldemort raised his eyebrows, curiously surprised at these words.

"Most part, Severus?" said he, taking the bait.

Just as before, I replied with another curt nod and forced my legs to start a pace as I spoke the words that could either save her, or infuriate him.

"I love Lily Evans," I told him, my face set in a grimace. "Or rather, Potter. That imbecile took the one thing that I've ever wanted." Voldemort didn't look angry as I had expected. He smirked.

"Oh? You want me to let the girl live?" I turned to him. He gave me a calculating look. "And you want me to kill Potter and the boy only?" I nodded. He looked contemplative as he thought. Finally he spoke, "I see that you want revenge on that fool Potter, so I will give it to you. What happens to the woman will rely on what she does as I kill her child."

"Thank you, my Lord," I said, and for once I was truly thankful of him. Voldemort waved his hand, and I was pushed out of the room, the door slamming shut.

With a profound purpose, I ran out of the evil house and apparated mid-stride to where I knew I would find her.

Godrick's Hallow was dark and cold and an eerie mood hung ceaselessly in the air. The graveyard to my right seemed to reek of ghosts, though I could not actually smell a thing.

My feet seemed to involuntarily take me to the house I had only been to once before, one of the most horrifying memories I own.

Late December's chill froze every amount of my body as I attempted to walk the empty streets of Godrick's Hallow.

My love, my bitter-sweet angel of regretful remembrance was no longer mine for the taking.

She never truly was mine for the taking, but the ring on her finger made it even less so, and I was shattered.

I did not like to recall this to my memory for it is one of the worst I have, but what's done is done and cannot easily be reversed, so I trudged on, stopping at her window.

There she was, rocking the baby that so disgusted me in her arms, to and fro with an agitated look in her eyes and brows, beautiful as always none the less. It felt wrong barging in on her personal life like this but I wanted to make sure she was okay.

I strode to the door and, vaguely feeling like a foolish Muggle, knocked soundly. From the inside I could barely hear voices conversing, before the door slid open.

James Potter stood before me, a disgusted look upon his face. The sudden urge to curse him almost made me lose my weaning control.

"What are you doing here, Snivellus? Haven't you done enough damage already?" he growled. I fixed him with my best glare.

"Quit being immature, Potter. I'm here to talk to Lily, not to waste my time with you." As Potter's mouth opened to spew an angry retort, Lily entered the doorway.

"Behave!" she hissed quietly. "You two are grown men! There's no need to act like children!" She shifted the sleeping child in her arms. "Come in, Severus. I trust you have nothing else to hurt me with." She turned, leaving Potter and me in the doorway. Potter reluctantly turned away, letting me into his house. I stepped out of the cold eagerly, shutting the door behind me.

I followed them into a sitting room, where Lily sat next to me on the couch.

"James, would you mind putting Harry in his crib?" Potter nodded and took the sleeping infant out of the room. Lily and I sat staring at each other, and I couldn't help the rush of words that exploded from my mouth.

"He is coming, Lily! I swear it to you! And I don't know when he will come, but I promise he will. You can choose not to believe me and die like the millions of others have, but he is coming." The desperation of my whole self made my voice crack like it did the many embarrassing times when I was a mere child.

Her eyes grew wide once more and she bit her lip and looked up to her husband.

"Not this again, Sev. Please. I'm tired, and I've got a child to care for and I just cannot deal with this right now." She sighed, placing her thumb and pointer fingers on her temple.

I sat back on my heels, almost bemused, my heart sinking a thousand stories. She did not believe me still. She thought me to be a malicious liar, sent here to destroy her peace.

How incredulous! How completely idiotic she was being! I was giving her the chance to run away so as her whole family would not perish, but she blew it off as if it were a pesky bug!

"Lily, please! I'm being completely truthful," I pleaded, anger starting to ebb into my words. "I used a damned time-turner to come here! I went back eleven days to tell you this! You must believe me! Eleven days from now you will be dead if you don't listen to me!" I pulled out the glittering gold time turner that was slowly revolving on its chain, a sign that it was working. Lily's eyes showed shock and disbelief. I glared at the floor, searching my brain for any way of making her understand.

With a sigh, I opened my mind to her. I sent her my memories of seeing her body, of Lupin howling over Potter, of the house we were in mangled disarray. I showed her my deepest fears of her leaving me forever, my desperation to make her understand. I showed her Lord Voldemort's decision of her fate.

Lily's mind pulled away from the horrors of mine. She started to quiver in her seat, looking smaller than ever before. She stared at me, her eyes full of absolute terror. I leveled her with a look of my own. She finally understood. I inched closer, taking her frail body into my arms. Lily was too shocked to cry. I pressed a soft kiss upon her hair.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Snivellus?" Potter's voice broke through my reverie, pulling me back into reality. "What did you do to her?"

"I showed her. Everything." I replied simply.

Enraged, Potter balled his hands into fists, taking one and pointing his finger to the door.

"Get the hell out of my house. Now!" he practically screamed, waking the child sleeping soundly in his crib upstairs and making the neighbor's dogs bark.

The whole house was in disarray, and in the midst of it, Lily pushed as hard as she could muster with her withering strength at my chest, telling me I should leave.

"Did you not hear me? I said GET THE HELL OUT OF MY—"

"I heard what you said, Potter, and I'm leaving." I retorted, cutting him off.

A twelve thousand kilogram weight was stuck in my throat and seemed to be pulling my esophagus all the way down to my stomach. I could not show them how purely mangled and broken I felt for I was much to dignified, but my breaking point had a limit. So I left, leaving Potter to his own fate, and unwillingly leaving her to hers.

Ah, another perfect ending if I do say so myself. Thanks everyone for reading!

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Caroline (and Vanessa!)