4years later

KAITLINS POV

I stood outside a small bar.

"Excuse me," I said in my best french to a passerby, "Could you tell me the date?"

"March 7," He said and walked away. I swallowed. Today was my last day. I walked into the bar out of the cold.

"Excuse me," I announced, "I'm look for hum…Maria Delcour?" I asked.

"That's me," A woman responded in French.

"I have a private matter to discuss with you," I told her.

"This way, please," She said and led me to a back room. She flipped on the light so she could see my face, but my hood was still on, but i saw hers. Her hair was a shorter, and a lighter brown, and her bangs were different. She was a little older, and she had lost some weight. But it was her. I removed my hood and spoke in english.

"Emily?" I asked quietly.

She studied my face. She knew who I was. She nodded.

"It's me. It's Kaitlin," I told her. I think she was in shock and did not know how to respond.

"I know… How did you find me?" She asked. I had expected a hug, but talking worked, too.

"I searched and I searched and I was determined. I left everything behind, and I can't graduate from highschool…" i explained.

She was still silent, so I continued.

"I'm 22 now…I came back to the BAU when I was 18, and learned the truth about what had happened to you.." I continued. And then I told her the final piece, "Doyle's dead, Emily. You can come home."

Her jaw dropped and she breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"How?" She asked almost unsure.

"He was killed," I began.

"The FBI? Mercenaries?" She tried.

"Me," I said.

"You?" She didn't believe me.

I showed her my scars and my broken arm.

"Me." I said.

There was a silence. It was a nervous silence with a lot of tension. THen she hugged me. She hugged me so tightly, i thought i would suffocate. She sobbed and I felt the tears running down my neck. I held her tightly.

"You're safe, Em," I told her as she continued to hug me.

"Do..do the others know?" She asked after a couple minutes.

"No…I left them…4 years ago…with a note…that was it…a note and argument with JJ…Emily I hurt her so badly…I hurt them all…" I said quietly.

"Kaitlin. I never ever wanted you to have to…you gave up college…a happy life..love…for me?" Emily asked. Had she never felt that much love before? I guess..that was a lot, but…still.

"Yeah. For you…."I said quietly. Maybe it wasn't just for her. Maybe it was for me. For…them. So we could all have a little bit of closure. Something I never had. We sat there looking at each other for a long time. Soon, we would go home.

8 months later

JJ's POV

I was curled up on my couch. I had the lamp on, and a huge file on my lap. It was 10:30pm and I had put Henry to bed 2 hours ago and he was out like a light. Being 8, he thought that he could stay up forever, but two minutes past his bed time he'd crash. I looked at the huge file. I had always thought that being higher up on the food chain at work would give me a chance to be a little bit more lenient with all the paper work and when it was due. I was wrong. If anything, it was more paper work and less time. Even with my job. I yawned and then heard a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. Had a gotten the time wrong? No. It was 10:34pm. I stood up and walked slowly to the door. Will had the night shift at DCPD, so I was alone with Henry. I looked in the peep hole first. It was dark, but I could make out two women, about my size. I opened the door, not even thinking about, how even after my years at the BAU, I would still open the door to strangers at night without my husband here.

It was snowing outside and it was cold.

"Hi, can I help you?" I said shivering slightly.

"JJ," the first woman said. Her voice was so familiar. It gave me goosebumps.

"Yes, that's me," I told her, even though it had not been a question.

"Can we come in?" The second voice asked. It was also hauntingly familiar. I hadn't heard it in a long time, but I knew it from somewhere. I didn't know why, but I let them in. I flipped on a light and studied there faces. I knew them. So well.

"Kaitlin? Emily?" I asked quietly. It had to be a mistake. There was no way…

"Yeah, JJ, it's me," the voice, that I realized was Kaitlin's, said.

"And…is that you Emily?" I asked so slowly and so quietly, that I wasn't even sure if I had said it outlaid.

"Yes," The woman said equally quietly.

"And…and.." I couldn't even speak. I just led them into the kitchen so they could get warm. They sat down in the chairs and I made some coffee. It was completely silent until the coffee was done. We just looked at each other. I poured three cups, gave it to them and sat down. Then we began to talk.

Kaitlin's POV

"Doyle's dead," I said.

"How?" JJ asked shocked. The FBI hadn't even been able to find him.

"He was murdered," I said. I had just had this conversation only 8 months earlier with Emily, or Maria, at the time.

"Who?" JJ asked.

"Me…I…stabbed him. One stab for everyone he's ever hurt…and then…an extra few…for you, Derek, Reid, Garcia, Rossi, Hotch, my parents, my brother…" I stopped. I hadn't said those names in such a long time.

"How…how has that…how has that affected you? Has it?" JJ asked, not exactly knowing how to phrase the question. I couldn't answer the question. I didn't know how.

"I'm…it's not the same, any more…" I said, knowing that was the only way I could answer. JJ nodded, understanding. Then she looked at Emily. Emily had been looking down, staring into her coffee the whole time.

"hey," JJ said, putting her hand on Emily's hand. Emily slowly looked up at her.

"Are you okay?" SHe asked softly.

"All the shit. Everything that's happened. If we were dead. If Derek hadn't come when he did…when DOyle stabbed me. If you all had just let me die. If…If I had killed myself before I met you…" She said looking at me, "None of this shit would have happened. You wouldn't be hurting like you are now. Neither of you would be in this position. Not knowing what to do, what to say, not knowing how to live. The team…they aren't still together after all this shit, are they? Do they know I'm alive?" Emily asked. We all stared into eachothers eyes. I didn't know how to live anymore. What to say. If I was dead. If she was dead. Would it work? Would it matter?

"They know…"JJ said quietly.