Ginny's Story
Chapter Two: Shoulders to Lean On
The sky outside the windows of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was darkening now as Ginny Weasley stood alone in the dormitory she had lived in over the past year. She was watching the sun slowly disappear beneath the horizon, deep in thought over the future. Concern was pulsing through her every sinew for the family and friends who were all targets now for the howling dogs of war, encircling, ready to pounce. Yet none were closer to her heart than the boy at the eye of the storm: her beloved and also her now ex-boyfriend, Harry Potter. Fate and Destiny were intertwined in the uncertainty of wartime as well as being desperately difficult to read. If only she were any good at Divination, she thought ruefully. At least she'd be able to ascertain whether everything would be alright. Then distantly came the faint knocking on a door. Turning slowly for she was still in half a trance, she saw Hermione Granger standing in the doorway with a kindly expression composed across her beautiful face. The dormitory was otherwise empty but for the two of them.
"How are you, Ginny? Finished packing up everything? Your mum sent me up to check on you." Hermione broke the silence with a sympathetic smile.
Ginny's mind raced into overdrive at the expression of Hermione's features: did she know what had passed between her and Harry? Had she guessed how she would be feeling? With a wry smile, Ginny realized that this was Hermione Granger – the best and the most intelligent student, either of boy or girl, in her year - and it was perhaps best to assume that indeed she did know what had happened and understood exactly how Ginny would be feeling.
"Hi, Hermione!" She responded with deliberately forced cheeriness, "I finished packing up a while ago, and was just taking some quiet time up here. My room-mates have either gone home or are still at dinner. How are you? Sad day all round really, wasn't it?"
"I think I'm okay actually considering what's happened over the previous few days. It's just difficult to imagine Hogwarts without Dumbledore, isn't it?" Hermione replied almost absent-mindedly because she was carefully observing Ginny through perceptive eyes as though she was expecting strange symptoms to manifest themselves. Ginny was forcefully reminded of how she had looked at Harry when they had first met up with him during the summer following the death of Sirius. Subtlety was never one of Hermione's most obvious traits; she was always straight to the point. Yet it was extraordinarily endearing because it enabled her to read any situation as well as anyone could and to respond appropriately. It made her the best advisor around. In this way, Ginny always felt as if she could talk to Hermione about anything and she'd understand. They acted for each other like the sisters neither of them ever had.
"I know what you mean. Mum says we should carry on as if nothing had changed and keep on fighting. She says that's what Dumbledore would have wanted and to keep on smiling as we do." The corners of her mouth twitched across her pale complexion.
"Well, I think your mum's right!" Hermione concurred. "She obviously doesn't want you to have to fret about the future. She was trying to reassure you."
"Hmmm…maybe." Ginny agreed abstractedly.
"But…" Hermione continued shrewdly.
"But what?" Ginny queried, frowning at her friend.
"But you don't think it worked, do you?" Hermione stated boldly in a businesslike tone.
There it was: a further example of the perceptive, observant and perpetually correct Hermione.
"Well, no." Ginny answered simply before hastily adding, "But I know she meant well and I think I took on board what she was getting at."
"I'm sure you did," Hermione replied kindly.
There followed a brief pause in the conversation as though Hermione were steeling herself for the resumption. She began for the first time to lead the direction in which their heart-to-heart was going:
"Harry broke up with you, didn't he?"
Ginny was momentarily taken aback at just how bluntly Hermione had phrased this bit of news, particularly as it had happened so recently.
"What? Oh, sorry. Er…yeah. Yeah he did! How did you know?"
Hermione's eyes twinkled as she flicked a smile, "Please Ginny. A girl can tell these things, particularly when you spend as much time around Harry as I do."
Ginny returned a wistful grin, "fair point!"
"He looked thoroughly miserable when Ron and I joined him beside the lake earlier today. At first I just considered it the grief brought on by the funeral – you know how close Harry was to Professor Dumbledore, as close as any student could be – but there was something less discernible in Harry's mood out there. A terrible burden of grief, it's true; and yet also a quietly determined resolve to focus exclusively upon what he has to do now. It was as if he had decided that Professor Dumbledore's death would be the last time Voldemort murders anyone else to try and get to him. Voldemort wants Harry because the dark lord sees him as his greatest threat; and Harry wants this finished once and for all so that they stop hurting the people he loves. So, obviously he'd care more about your safety than for his own personal happiness at the moment. Anyway, how are you feeling?" Hermione concluded with gentle concern in her tone.
"Wow! You've really studied the situation, haven't you? You really know him, don't you?" Ginny stared, bewildered and impressed.
"Well, don't forget I have spent most of the last six years in his company. I expect he understands a fair few things about me too." Hermione punctuated her deductions unashamedly with her trademark clear-headedness.
"Should I be worried?" Ginny asked wryly, "do I have a rival for Harry's affections?"
"Oh, I shouldn't think so, Ginny. Harry needs you in his life. You give him reason to hope, to live and keep on fighting for that final victory. Though you may not be together any more, he takes you with him in his heart burning as a talisman against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It personalizes the struggle for him, you are that something indescribably wonderful which will make the eventual victory all the sweeter. You enrich his world so much transporting him to a place that isn't tainted by Voldemort or the wider struggle against the Dark Arts. Wait for him, won't you?"
Ginny's eyes became glazed with tears. She meant to speak, but found the words caught in her throat where a lump had risen unbidden. She merely managed to mouth a watery 'thank-you.'
"Oh no!" Hermione squealed, "I didn't mean to make you cry, Ginny!" Hermione ran forwards and hugged her dearest girl-friend warmly.
Gradually regaining her composure, Ginny wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her robes.
"I'm okay, Hermione." She sobbed into her friend's shoulder. "No really, I'm fine. I think I always knew it would come to this. I just didn't want to admit that it would happen, not after the last few weeks which had been so blissful and complete. Harry described it succinctly: 'like something out of somebody else's life.' Silly, isn't it? Even selfish? It hurts to think how lonely he must feel now. To wish for something so much, but to have it denied because of the threat of war or the fear of death. Yet I stopped short of holding him back, because I knew he had to end it all or at the very least try. Whether he likes it or not, Harry Potter will be hunted until either Lord Voldemort finishes what he couldn't sixteen years ago or Harry saves us all. He's been marked until the finale, hasn't he? It's so very unfair, but I knew he had to go. I only hope he succeeds for his and all our sakes."
Both girls were weeping silently now. A few minutes passed as they supported one another.
"An admirably mature outlook of events." Hermione paid the compliment with deep affection. "Harry would be so proud to hear you say those things, but he wouldn't expect anything less from you. There is still a future for you two if you wish it. Hold on to that thought when we're gone!"
She desperately wanted to leave Ginny in a shower of optimism and hope for the future. Hermione was acutely aware that Ginevra must be hurting, though she greatly revered the strength of character which meant she barely showed it in either words or deeds. Fortunately, Ginny began digesting all that she had heard. It was becoming second nature to move in and out of a contemplative state. Hermione meanwhile watched her earnestly.
"Look after him and each other, won't you?" Ginny whispered, barely audible, all of a sudden.
"Always." Hermione replied simply with such tenderness in her voice.
Upon that note, Hermione Granger moved back round to beside her friend. She took Ginny's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. After a few moments, she moved silently from the dormitory leaving Ginny alone to ruminate over all that had passed between them.
By now the sun had disappeared and night covered the surrounding hills and valleys. The darkness was not unpleasant for tonight was clear and the stars sparkled like jewels in the sky whilst a sixteen-year old girl, youngest of seven, lay gently down upon her bed with sadness and resignation swelling her heart.
Ginny Weasley's sleep went unbroken that night but her dreams were disturbed so that by the following morning, she felt decidedly unrested. The Hogwarts Express was to leave forLondonimmediately after breakfast in the Great Hall where Ron and Hermione were to accompany Harry back to King's Cross and to the Dursleys one last time. Her mum and dad would meet Ron at the station later. Ginny, however, was to side-along apparate with her mother back home. Ron had special dispensation to travel with Harry as a prefect and his best friend so that he wouldn't feel alone on the journey. Hermione would then stay with her parents for a few days before rejoining the Weasleys at the Burrow. It was amazing, Ginny thought, how many snippets of conversation you'd hear from others when you truly listened and said nothing. Though she may not be speaking as much as she usually did, you'd hardly notice any real difference to Ginny's mood. She had determined from the night before that she would not wallow in self-pity or despair, but focus resolutely upon hope and remain indomitably chipper. Only that would be the attitude expected of one who is beloved to Harry Potter, the hero of the wizarding world. Although she had to tread carefully that she didn't overdo it for that would arouse suspicion and concern that she was really hiding her true feelings. Yet Ginny had gamely accepted that Harry could never embark upon a new path with her until he had concluded his life fighting Voldemort. It was how it had to be.
At eight o'clock that morning, Ginny trundled casually down to the entrance hall with her trunk and luggage for the return home. It would be good to be back in the reassuringly familiar setting of home. The world felt as if it had been turned upside-down since Dumbledore's death. She reveled in magicking her baggage downstairs for it would be afterall the final opportunity she would have to use her wand until the following school year. She immediately located her mother, who had been eagerly scanning the crowd for her distinctive locks. Molly Weasley instantly waved manically upon catching sight of her,
"Ah, there you are Ginny! All packed…good, good!" She sighed in relief and with a wave of her wand, all her childrens' luggage had disappeared back to the Burrow.
"Morning, mum!" Ginny said happily.
"Well, let's grab a bite in the Great Hall before we set off and you can say goodbye to everyone. Best travel on a full stomach!" Mrs. Weasley uttered brightly.
Everybody ate hungrily considering barely anybody had eaten on the day of the funeral. There was a definite end-of-term feeling among the students with farewells and promises made to keep in touch. Ginny found herself at the centre of a tight knot of fifth-years and even younger students who all wanted to wish her well. She'd never realized just how popular she was! She didn't mind, at least, as it took her mind away from the three friends, who were hardly to be seen.
Later that morning, Ginny Weasley was resettling herself back into her bedroom at the Burrow. She gazed around happily at the brightly-coloured walls and her giant poster of Gwenog Jones (captain of the all-witch Holyhead Harpies) and thought that, though it may be small, it was still cosy and all hers. Placing books on shelves and folding her clothes neatly in drawers, she was spending much more time unpacking than she usually would have done. After being inundated with people at breakfast, she found that she was quite happy to be alone again. Her musings however were not just confined to Harry this time, but to the rest of her family and the Order of thePhoenixtoo. She was the only under-age member of her family left, someone of whom all her brothers and parents had been really protective. Something that was likely to be accentuated now that the war was in full swing. She didn't like the idea at all of everyone she loved off fighting while they allowed her to remain safe. Her oldest brother, Bill, had already been savagely attacked; and Ron had survived a poisoning. It was touching that they should care so much for her, but she felt frustrated and annoyed that they wouldn't let her stand with them as an equal in battle. She was virtually seventeen now anyway, she pondered over heatedly. Besides, she owed Tom Marvolo Riddle for ruining her first year at Hogwarts. Yet she wasn't keen to pour even more oil upon troubled waters meaning that she would have to press the subject gently with her parents if it came up.
Suddenly an unexpected knock resonated upon her bedroom door.
"Come in!" Ginny beckoned, frowning at the unanticipated arrival,
"Oh, it's you!" Ginny gasped in surprise.
"Now, is that any way to greet your favourite brother?" Ron replied in mock outrage.
"Who says you're my favourite?" Ginny retorted, half-amused.
"Well, why not? You're my favourite sister!" Ron answered back.
"Ron, I'm your only sister!" Ginny giggled in return.
"Same difference really!" Ron smiled a wry grin. "Anyway, fancy a game of chess, Ginny? Mum's sent up sandwiches for us. She thinks you're looking a bit peaky!" He finished suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.
"What for, Ron? You know I've never beaten you at that game. Why should now be any different?" Ginny was eyeing her brother suspiciously as though she were trying to attest his true motives.
"I know, but I still like the satisfaction of winning!" Ron answered innocently. "Besides, it might be one of the last chances we get. Indulge me!"
"Oh, alright" Ginny shrugged in defeat of her argument.
Some quality time spent with the brother she had always been closest to would be a good memory to have to look back upon in the months ahead. Before either of them knew it, they were both sitting beside the chess-board underneath a window through which the sun was beaming with a tall pile of sandwiches and a jug of pumpkin juice next to them. Ron had already collected one of Ginny's pawns and a bishop. She was about to swoop for one of Ron's pawns when he dropped the bombshell coyly but still affirmed boldly:
"Hermione tells me Harry broke up with you. Is it true?"
Ginny froze with a hand clinging to the pawn. The real motives of Ron coming to her room were now apparent. Tact and delicacy were never strengths of her youngest brother, but did he still have to declare his intentions so boldly? Yet, Ginny considered for a moment with the hint of a smile, maybe Ron and Hermione were well-suited for each other afterall. She reflected for a moment choosing her words carefully before deciding to take the offensive:
"She shouldn't have done that! I told her in confidence and she said she wouldn't say anything!"
"Don't blame Hermione, Ginny!" Ron answered apologetically. "She only told me to stop me blundering in and putting my foot in it. So, is it true?"
Ginny was mollified slightly by the self-deprecating instance of humour.
"Hmm, yeah. It's true."
She answered so quietly that Ron barely heard her. As though by mumbling her answer, she wouldn't have to admit it totally to herself. Then Ron spoke up again taking charge of the conversation (just like Hermione had done the previous night):
"Well, I thought he would." Ron said, slightly disappointed for his sister. "But I wouldn't have expected anything else from him. While Harry's a target, there's just no way you could be together. Not if he truly loves you."
Startled, Ginny regained her voice: "that's really insightful for you, Ron!"
Blushing a bit, Ron replied: "well, I've learnt a thing or two hanging round with Hermione."
"I bet you have!" Ginny giggled slyly.
"Oi!" Ron countered with a smirk. "Anyway, don't you see? Harry put your own safety ahead of his own happiness. What would you expect him to do if he genuinely loves you? At least we know his true feelings for you and that he's not going to mess you around."
"Yeah, I suppose but…" Ginny's voice trailed away.
"But it hurts," Ron picked up the thread of conversation. "Of course it does! It's your way of knowing you feel the same way."
"Maybe, but it's not just that!" Ginny replied only half-convinced.
"You're worried how lonely Harry will be as he heads off to fight the war. Ginny, why else do you think Hermione and I are going too? We're not just going to abandon Harry to his fate. He'll be with us every step of the way!" He concluded by placing a consoling hand on her arm.
Ginny looked up into her brother's face, grinning widely: "when did you become so wise and perceptive all of a sudden?"
"What do you mean 'all of a sudden'? I've always been this way. Maybe it's taken a little longer to be noticed, that's all!" Ron returned the smile.
Then Ginny resumed the attack to get some answers.
"So, why can't I fight? Our whole family and friends are in the Order and I bet they all realize the depth of the danger they are in. I don't know which is worse: fighting in a deadly battle against an enemy with no conscience or waiting and watching everyone you love risk their own necks in a vain hope of victory. So, why not let me fight? One more wand for the cause can't hurt." Ginny retorted so forcefully and with a defiance that made Ron take a few steps backwards. Yet when he answered, it was with sympathy.
"I'm sure you would fight and well too," Ron added kindly. "But you're under-age! No-one in the Order is under seventeen, it just wouldn't be right. Besides, how do you think Mum and Dad would feel risking the loss of their only daughter?"
"But they've also got five sons off fighting. Don't make me out to be more important than you! It won't wash!" Ginny snapped fiercely.
"I'm not necessarily, but you've already been targeted once by Voldemort. There's nothing to be gained from risking you again." Ginny had to admire how Ron was maintaining his composure under the ferocity of her gaze, and she softened at those words. "The rest of us know what's at stake, and we can't just sit idly by. Sometimes you have to think about more than just yourself. We're one of the biggest blood-traitor families bound to be a target for the Death Eaters. You can help in other ways." Ron finished consoling.
After a few minutes to pause and take stock, Ginny started up again:
"Look after yourselves…when you're away! I'll be thinking of you."
"I know." Ron answered simply. "And me…you."
Then they embraced warmly as though it might be the last thing they may ever do. It had been good to clear the air with Ron. He had grown up so much in recent months and had become incredibly philosophical in his outlook.
"Hermione's a good influence on you!" Ginny added slyly.
"Glad you think so. I say so too." Ron replied happily.
Ron's entire body slackened at the mere mention of Hermione's name and his features softened. It was such a subtle and natural shift he thought Ginny wouldn't have noticed, but she did. Then daringly Ginny continued:
"You like her, don't you Ron?"
"I don't know what you mean!" Ron told her quite innocently. "But certainly I do. We are best friends!"
"Oh, don't give me that, Ronald Weasley." Ginny scolded him impatiently. "You know what I mean. The important thing to ask is whether she feels the same way." She pressed on quite brazenly.
"Well, I won't deny we have bonded a lot over the years – perhaps irrevocably and irreversibly so - as we've assisted Harry. Nobody else will know what that's been like and it's something we will always have shared together. There probably is something more than friendship between us, but as to what that is I don't think even I know at the moment," Ron ended in a flourish. He hadn't felt embarrassed as he discussed his relationship with Hermione to his younger sister, but instead felt proud and even taller than his already lanky frame.
"I'm happy for you, big brother!" This time Ginny did beam with all sincerity and hugged him tightly round his waist. "Hermione's an excellent choice and a really welcome addition to the family."
"But, what about Harry? How's he taken it?"
"What about him? I reckon Harry suspects something, but he's always going to be around. He enriches both our lives in a way only Harry Potter can, and we would never be the same without him close by. He's like family! Besides, he's principally responsible for getting us together just like Hermione had a hand in getting you and Harry together." Ron suggested knowingly.
"What?" Ginny interrupted, confused. "I don't know what you mean!"
"Of course you do!" Ron continued seeing through the charade, "How about all those times Hermione pushed you in the right direction advising you to forget about Harry, date other people and be yourself more. You must have seen how happy Hermione looked after you and Harry kissed in the common room earlier this year. Her advice came good in the end!"
"Yeah, well. I suppose there is that." Ginny conceded before hastily adding in a worried tone, "you'll keep everything I've said today between us, won't you? I'd rather not let the rest of the family know just yet and I promise I won't leak any of your secrets to them either. Let's just be discreet!"
"Of course! Discretion is my middle name. You have my word!"
"Funny, I thought it was Billius!" Ginny teased playfully.
"Hey! That's not fair. You know what I think of that name."
Ron fought back in good-humour. The rest of the afternoon passed amicably enough between the two of them. Ron won the game of chess (again!) before they took the lunch tray back down to Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen.
Evening was drawing in by the time Ronald and Ginevra Weasley were too exhausted to practice any more Quidditch in the yard. Ron kept goal whilst Ginny tried to score against him and for that one afternoon, the onset of war, grief and tragedy seemed to remain far away from the gardens of the Burrow on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole.