4. Stick to your budget

Once the joy and shock of Hatter's choice to be with her in her world had settled down to the calm buzz of happiness, Alice took it upon herself to assist him in setting himself up with everything he might need. She'd thought it would be a difficult chore as she wasn't one to relish the shopping experience, and what little she'd gathered of Hatter's fashion sense pointed towards the likely hood of him being quite the clothes horse.

It therefore came as no small surprise that when the first day of shopping she'd braced herself (and her bank account) for came around, it was not at all like she imagined it would be.

Hatter was certainly energetic upon seeing the variety available in the Men's section of the retro style clothing shop she'd brought him to, and he'd quickly grasped the concept of mass produced clothing instead of custom tailored outfits. What she hadn't been expecting was how very little he chose to purchase in the end. Alice hadn't known weather to feel shocked or pleased when he'd spent a fair amount of time pursuing the clearance rack; causing her face to settled into some strange in between expression. Every shirt or tie he selected was examined swiftly and deemed worthy or not (making little noise of pleasure or deep consideration as he did so) in the span of seconds, causing him to declare himself finished not fifteen minutes later with a small pile draped over his arm; a pleased smile plastered on his face.

Alice glanced hopefully at the bundle and started to think that maybe she might be getting off easy on this (idly noting they might have to move furniture shopping up to after lunch today though) when she remembered something else Hatter had lots of back in Wonderland. Hats.

There'd been at least a dozen or so in his office if her memory was right and she didn't remember seeing more than a handful of them around his new flat. Figuring this would be where he would break the bank, Alice dutifully led him over to the headgear section only to have Hatter shoot her a look that made her feel like he was laughing behind his cock eyed smile and bright eyes. After offering to hold the few items he'd selected already, Hatter took a considerably more relaxed approach to shopping in this section. Looking much more like he was browsing than the quick efficient movements he'd used minutes before.

She wasn't surprised when he passed by things like the knitted skull caps and berets without so much as the bat of an eye (they really didn't seem like his style), but certainly was taken back when he barely skimmed over many of the hats Alice knew she'd seen in his collection; only giving some of the more outlandish ones a quiet smirk when he did look at them. When Hatter approached the back wall with the adapted fedora style that was quite popular lately, he finally paused and gave the selection the sound of consideration he'd made before in the clothing section.

Hatter stared at them all for a minute before selecting a medium gray one with a burgundy band and replacing the tan squat hat he'd worn when she met him on the peg with a graceful absentminded flick of his hand. He twirled and balanced the new hat on its only section of brim before putting it through a series of practiced hat handling rolls and tosses with a pleased smile on his face. With one final flip settling it on top of his disheveled hair, Hatter regarded the look of it on him in the mirror before nodding once with approval and doing a quick swap out for his original hat before returning to Alice's side, looking quite pleased and ready to move on. With just…one hat.

Alice frowned down at the item in his hand. Nothing had changed, there was still just the one.

"Somthin' the matter Alice?" Hatter inquired with an amused air.

She furrowed her brow at him in clear confusion, "You only picked one."

"Yup," he replied with a popping sound and a wider smile.

"Why?"

He was definitely laughing at her behind that smile now as he took the clothing she'd been holding for him back, "'S not like I really need more than one for any style at the mo' is it? Doesn't seem quite as in fashion here as they were back in Tugley, so no point in wasting money on it if I won't need 'em."

Alice just blinked as her mind took in the full weight of that statement. Hatter, the man she'd met as a smooth talking con with a taste for finer things and a surplus of funds…was budgeting. He was weighing what he needed over what he wanted and limiting what was selected for only practical purposes. Remembering the overall state of the city in Wonderland along with its many inhabitants, the idea suddenly didn't seem quite as preposterous or strange as it initially had.

It actually made quite a lot of sense really and Alice let out a laugh as she realized the absurdities of her concerns from before. She shared an amused smile with Hatter then pulled him down by his tie for a quick kiss.

Hatter made a noise of approval when he pulled back and grinned down at her, "If that's how you're plannin' on rewarding all of these shopping trips then I may have to invent a few extra needs for us to look into."

Alice rolled her eyes and gave him a smirk of amusement before turning and leading him over towards the checkout.

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

"Oh it's so good to see you sweetheart," her grandmother cooed as she gave Alice a tight hug.

Alice chuckled, "It's good to see you too Nana."

She pulled back from the embrace with a smile and gave Alice a critical look over, "Well, you're certainly dressing nicer now that you've got a steady man in your life."

"Nana!" Alice choked out a laugh, "You always say I'm looking sharp when I visit, how is what I've got on now any different?"

The elderly woman gave her a knowing smirk as she waved a hand dismissively at her granddaughter's question and sat back down on the couch, "This man must mean a lot to you is all if you're willing to look more like the lovely young woman I know you are. I think I can count the number of times I've seen you in such a darling summer dress with matching sandals on one hand." She patted the cushion next to her in open invitation for Alice to sit, "And all of those were before your teenage years."

Alice was taken aback by her grandmother's observation but the remark about Hatter had her seeking him out automatically. Apparently he'd been cornered by her grandfather and Uncle Chris near the kitchen but didn't seem bothered at all as he was laughing and smiling at something Uncle Chris had said; causing her to smile in reflex. Hatter must've felt her eyes on him then as his own flickered over towards her, meeting her gaze and giving her a broad grin that brought out his dimple before turning away to listen to her grandfather once again.

"You're grandfather approves of him at any rate," Alice's Nana added with wise eyes when Alice looked back, causing a blush to stain her cheeks for a moment. "Which is part of the reason I asked for you to come visit in the first place. Hardly fair that he's met your young man twice and I've yet to even see a picture," the older woman tutted fondly in only slightly mock annoyance.

Alice sighed, "It's not like I've been keeping him from you Nana, and those were just random accident-"

"Oh I'm sure," her grandmother interrupted with a dismissive wave, "And your grandfather assures me you're doing a fine job with him but I had to see for myself."

The confusion was easy to read on Alice's face as she attempted to make sense of her Nana's words. When no solution seemed obvious after a few seconds, she finally gave in and hesitantly asked, "What do you mean that I'm doing a fine job with him?"

Her Nana gave her a very plain look then, "I mean that you're pleasing him as a woman should to keep her man."

Alice blinked and her mouth fell open slightly in shock. She couldn't mean…not…not her Nana. She'd never be so…so… There wasn't a word Alice felt fit this situation at all besides possibly surreal, and that was saying something given she'd flown on an electric pink flamingo not too long ago.

While Alice's brain was attempting to reboot from the shock of her grandmother talking to her about, well, things grandmother's shouldn't talk about; Nana just smiled pleasantly and gave Alice a few condoling pats on her hand. "No need to be so surprised my dear. It's not what was done in my day certainly. I waited until my marriage bed after all, but I've kept abridged of how things work in the modern society." Her grandmother leaned forward then with a more serious tone, "They may have shifted the event to before the vows, but that doesn't mean you don't have to still know how to service your man if you want to keep him coming back."

"Nana!" Alice burst out in surprise. The word 'service' would no longer be safe in her mind if the flush of red she could feel rising up her face was any indication.

A quick glance over to the men showed that only Hatter seemed to hear her outburst, but giving her a look over seemed reassurance that she was actually fine. His raised eyebrow said he wouldn't be forgetting to ask about what had caused it later, and just the knowledge of that future conversation caused her blush to intensify; requiring Alice to take a few steadying breaths and swiping her hands over her face to try and disperse it.

Nana clucked her tongue disapprovingly, as if Alice had been the one doing something wrong, "Well I certainly hope you weren't planning on trapping him by getting yourself pregnant instead. I told your mother the same thing when I could tell she was serious about my Robert."

Just when Alice thought this conversation couldn't have gotten any worse. That sixth grade sit down with her mom about the 'birds and the bees' was positively pleasant by comparison now. Especially knowing – Alice stopped herself there. One did not think of ones parents in that way. Ever.

"Now like I said," Alice's grandmother continued on matter of fact like, as if she were just discussing the weather, "Your grandfather feels you have the matter, if you'll pardon the expression, well in hand-"

Oh God. Both of them. They were both discussing their granddaughter's sex life. Would she ever be able to look her Pop in the eye again without blushing in embarrassment now that she knew? Alice wasn't sure she could.

-"which I hope isn't all you're limiting yourself to dear. Even girls in the typing pool had to rely on more variety than the skill of their digits to satisfy a man." Nana leaned back as her lips puckered thoughtfully as she regarded Alice with knowing eyes, "The dress says you've been together intimately a few times, you'd not be so bare if you were worried about him seeing something new after all, but it's not terribly brazen either. Perhaps we should have a nice girl's day. You'll want something that shows your assets off to him when you're around other women as well so he won't want to wander and sample other goods."

Alice was sure things could get no worse now and that she was likely to spontaneously combust on the spot due to embarrassment. At least she was until her grandmother smiled gently and placed that reassuring hand back on Alice's knee…and spoke again. "I've been with your grandfather for over forty years of course and we've had lots of time to get creative and keep things active during that time, so if you ever feel you need some suggestions or maybe rec-"

"Nana!" Alice burst out, still as insistent but not as loudly this time. She took a deep breath before continuing, "Hatter and I are just fine. Really. I'm sure we won't need any…help, in that area."

Nana looked doubtful but nodded her head once, "Well if your sure dear." She gave a sigh as she brushed a piece of Alice's hair out of her face with a small smile, "I just worry about you is all."

It was such a familiar gesture that Alice couldn't help but let out her tension as a loud laugh in the absurdity of the situation.

After a slightly awkward dinner many hours later, Alice let out a breath of relief as she settled into her car for the drive back into the city. Hoping to get certain conversations out of her mind, she was slightly surprised when Hatter broke the silence of the short calm less than a mile en route.

"Sooo," he drew out the word with a slight strain before settling into curious nonchalance, "I had quite the interesting chat with your grandmother after dinner."

Alice's heart skipped an anxious beat and she gripped the steering wheel a fraction tighter before calmly remarking, "I'd wondered where you'd disappeared off to. She read you your rights about how to treat me or something?" The attempt at humor felt fake even on her lips as the sinking feeling grew in her stomach. Oh please don't let it be what she thought it was about…

"Yeah, you know, in a sort of…round about way I suppose," he replied and Alice could just hear the smirk in his voice building, "She expressed her concerns that I might not be…pleasing you, as often as I should. Not when you seemed to be so tense all through out dinner at any rate."

Alice groaned as she stopped at a red light, her fears realized she took advantage of the stop to lightly hit her head on the steering wheel to try and dull her embarrassment. "We are never coming to see my grandmother again for a very, very, very long time," she insisted with touch of anger, "Nor am I ever getting her advice on anything ever again."

85. Have an allotted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by

Hatter was quietly humming a pleasant tune to himself as he unlocked the door to his shared flat with Alice. It had been a lovely day outside and he was looking forward to an afternoon off to enjoy the sun, a nice meal, and really just spend more time with Alice.

All of these thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when he stepped inside however and found Alice surrounded by various notes, bills and other random bits of paper. Her hair was pulled into a tight ponytail but several hairs had sprung loose from where she'd run her hands over it or pulled on sections absentmindedly. A pen in her hand held teeth markings on its end, where she'd also released some of her frustrations. Racking his brain and coming up with nothing in the immediate future that should be worrying her so, Hatter took a few cautious steps over to her seated form.

"Alice," he started cautiously, "Is everything odds ends and we've slipped through a stream today then?"

His voice clearly startled her out of her thoughts as she jumped slightly and blinked owlishly up at him, "Hatter! I, what?"

His brow furrowed as he knelt down beside her at the coffee table, placing a hand on her shoulder in concern, "Are you alright? Is everything coming up roses?"

"Oh! Yeah this mess, sorry, I wasn't expecting you to be back yet," she quickly began shuffling papers together in no order that he could see other than to quickly get them out of sight. A few words caught his eyes as he skimmed the collection though. Mortgage, retirement, wedding, children…and none of these seemed to end happily. They all made him pause in concern as he suddenly connected what this might all be about.

"You sure this isn't something I should be concerned about then?" he ventured. "Cause it seems to me," he plucked one of the scribbled scenarios out of her grasp before she could tuck it away, "like this is the sort of thing we should be on about with each other."

Alice sighed wearily as she left her messy pile on the table; running her hands over her hair and causing another few strands to break free form their elastic prison, "They're just plans, concerns really, about the future. I set aside some time each month for looking at possibilities and let out all the worry for things that could possibly go wrong so if the worst should happen…"

Hatter's heart broke a bit from her remark and obvious concern that things might not work out with them in the future. Even when they were happy with life right now she still couldn't let go of all of her fear of future pain and abandonment her father's loss had imprinted on her.

Wanting to keep things lighthearted at this sudden revelation he inquired, "And you thought a Wednesday afternoon was clearly the best time for this then?"

She let out an abrupt laugh and supported her head with a propped up arm on the coffee table as she looked at him with slight amusement now, "Well it's already the worst day of the week since it's so far way from the weekend. So yeah, I figured it was the best day to do it."

"Right," Hatter responded now as he made up his mind and stood up, "What you need, dear Alice, is a redefinition of what Wednesday are. Which means it's about time I showed you how brilliant I am at aiding in relaxation."

He extended his hand down to her to help her off the floor, which he was happy to see she did so with only a small amount of resistance and a healthy dollop of curiosity. "You're skilled in relaxation techniques as well?" she inquired openly with a smirk, "You get that title before or after being known as someone who was always there when they 'passed the hat'?"

"Sort of, you know," Hatter faltered slightly over his reply. She excelled at cutting him to the quick. "Around the same time, -ish I suppose. Yeah."

Alice looked equal parts skeptical and amused now, "Really?"

"'Course," he replied confidently now with a grin. Hatter looked around quickly before guiding her over to his favorite plush burgundy arm chair. "In fact," he positioned her in it so he'd have the best access possible for this situation, "I think a demonstration is in order to entice you before we just straight in. Just so you can see what you have to look forward to." The last bit came out a little more than a murmur in Alice's ear as he leaned over her back, as her form comfortably leaned forward with her head resting on crossed arms over the chair's large armrest.

Hatter started with slowly sure strokes of his hands over her t-shirt clad back before moving to circle up over her shoulders and then up the curve of her neck to the base of her skull. His movements quickly concentrated there as he felt the tension of the muscles in her shoulders, noting her applicative sighs as he slowly encouraged them to loosen with sure and firm strokes. The knots he massaged felt deep and he knew she had been holding onto these concerns for quite some time. Fingers rounded up to run firmly over her scalp before tending to the spot at the base of her head that caused her to moan and her shoulders to sag in release. He ran one more motion of his hands down her back then, using his body weight to increase the pressure the lower he went as he leaned to whisper in her ear as his hands came to rest along the swell of her hips.

"Have I wetted your appetite then Alice?" he inquired with no small hint of promise before placing a soft kisses along on the side of her neck. Alice rewarded his efforts with another appreciative moan, and Hatter found it was rather simple to convince her to move to the bedroom from there so he could further assist her relaxation.

While they didn't end up enjoying the sun quite as much as Hatter had originally planned, he rather believed the rest of the day was spent just as pleasantly as he'd originally hoped.

Author's Comments: Finally got finish the other half of this and try and warm my mind up for Hatter's voice mainly so I could start in on CaC. I worry about losing him with all the fic reading I've been doing lately but I think he's fairly in character here. I'm also pretty sure I'm keeping it within the T rating in this chapter. The conversation with her grandmother was just too amusing in my mind not to use it. ;) As always, thanks for the read and I hope you enjoyed! ^_^