AN: thank you for the reviews for the last chapter! I can't tell you how pleased I am that Flynn/Eugene is sounding like himself. YAY.

Anyway, I really liked writing this chapter, partly because this scene in the movie is so incredibly funny and partly because it is one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie. I hope you enjoy it! And don't hesitate to leave me a review, even it it's one two words long. haha

Disclaimer: I do not own Tangled.

Chapter 2-Flynn vs the Frying Pan

George Bailey: This is a very interesting situation!

-It's a Wonderful Life

"Rapunzel had splendid long hair, as fine as spun gold….."

-Rapunzel, Brothers Grimm

Since you've been rather….kind to listen to this story, I'll spare you the details of what happened in my head while I was unconscious. That is, unless you really want to hear about the dream I had as king of the world.

Yeah. I didn't think so.

So I'll pick up the story when I was conscious again. I must have woken up with the most killer headache I had ever had in my entire life. My head throbbed, and I would have rubbed it, if I could have actually moved my arms. However, that was kind of impossible, considering I was tied up with something. I glanced around the room, and my eyes landed on something yellow that curled around the room. Much to my surprise, it wasn't a rope. In fact, it looked an awful lot like….hair. What? "Is this…hair?" I said incredulously. I was tied up with hair? Seriously? Well, I was sure. Now I had seen everything.

"Struggling….struggling is pointless," said a soft female voice. "I know why you're here, and I'm not afraid of you.

She knew why I was here? Well, that was hard to believe. If she had, she clearly wouldn't have tied me up. As for the whole fear thing….why would she be afraid of me? I was a thief, not an axe murderer. "What?" I said.

Suddenly a girl in a purple dress stepped out of the shadows- a quite pretty girl who looked a few years younger than me. Thick blond hair, thin, and the biggest green eyes I think I had ever seen. Did I say she was pretty? She was more than pretty, actually. She was almost beautiful. "Who are you and how did you find me?" she asked.

How did I find her? I wasn't aware I was even looking for her. "Ah ha," I managed to say. Oh, brilliant, I thought to myself. Could I sound like a bigger idiot? Probably not, but you'd sound the same if you'd been hit in the head twice. I could already feel a bruise forming on the back of my head.

"Who are you, and how did you find me?" she demanded again, this time raising a frying pan over her head.

Ah, well that explains the mystery of my pounding headache- she must have hit me with it. I had been in many difficult situations, but this was definitely the stickiest. Or maybe that should be the hairiest?

Well. In a circumstance like this, there was only one thing to do: turn on the charm.

I cleared my throat. "I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you…" I began. Her facial expression changed immediately. Good. "But may I just say….hi?" I finished with a smirk. She blinked in confusion. "How ya doing? The name's Flynn Rider. How's your day going?"

She blinked again, then she shook her head slightly. "Who else knows my location, Flynn Rider?" she said firmly, threatening me with the frying pan again.

Okay, I was officially sick of this whole frying pan threatening bit. "All right, listen, Blondie…"

"Rapunzel," she interrupted.

Was that supposed to be her name? Or a sneeze? Either way, I couldn't resist a snicker. "Gesundheit." She immediately glared at me. Oh. I guess that had been her name. Still, you can't blame me for not knowing the difference. I mean, what kind of parent names their child Rapunzel anyway? Only a mother obsessed with flowers, that's for sure. In any event, it's about time Blondie here understood the situation. How could she do anything else but free me when she knew what a trial I had been through? "Here's the deal. I was in a situation, gallivanting through the forest. I came across your tower, and-….oh, no!" Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming sense of panic. I just realized I had no idea where my satchel was-and along with it the ability to finally get my island. "Where is my satchel?"

She smiled, quite smugly as a matter a fact. And I instantly knew she had found it. Well, this really wasn't my day, was it? "I've hidden it," she said. "Somewhere you'll never find it."

I glanced around the room, one eye searching every nook and cranny, one eye fixed on her eyes- waiting for anything in her face that might tell me where she had hidden it. Finally, her eyes twitched in a certain direction, toward a small pot.

I gestured toward it. "It's in that pot, isn't it?"

And you know what I got for all my efforts? All I got was another hit on the head with the blasted frying pan.

Oh yeah. I was having a stupendous day.

XXXXXXXXX

I woke up again, only to find a slimy, slobbering tongue in my ear. "AHHH!" I screeched. No, my reaction was not extreme. I dare you to wake up to a frog's tongue in your ear and see how much you like it. I rubbed my ear against my shoulder, trying to erase that disgusting feeling. "Will you stop that?"

She- I guess her name was Rapunzel, but there was no way I could call her that: with that much blond hair, she needed to be called Blondie. In any event, she who had rudely hit me in the head and tied me up- cleared her throat. "Ahem." I shot her a very annoyed look, which she immediately returned. "Now I've hidden it where you'll never find it." She began circling me like a hawk. "So, what do want with my hair? Cut it?"

Her hair? All this drama over hair? Was she serious? "What?

"Sell it?" she continued.

Okay, hair was one thing I didn't actually want to sell. Or steal. Right now, there was only thing I wanted: And that was to get out of her hair (in more ways than one), out of this tower, and out of Corona. Then, once I was out, I would sell the crown, buy my island, and live happily, surrounded by lots and lots of money. Total perfection, in my opinion. "What? No, listen, the only thing I want with your hair is to get out of it. Literally!" And now would be ideal.

"Wait," she said, surprised. "You don't want my hair?"

I think this girl's been in her tower a bit too long. Why else would she think that people would want her hair? Granted, it was long (very long!), and thick, and…well, actually kind of pretty. But be serious. Who needs that much hair, unless they're bald or something? "Why on earth would I want your hair?" I told her. "Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it. End of story."

"You're telling the truth?" she asked cautiously.

You know something? For once, I actually was. And wasn't there some saying about "the truth will set you free?" Hopefully, my telling the truth would set me free. Literally. "Yes."

She extended the frying pan out toward me, while her frog traveled down her arm, down the frying pan, and ended up only inches from my face. My eyes widened and I stared at the frog, while it stared at me. Finally, it made some sort of signal to Blondie and she started to walk away. Hello? Were we done with the interrogation now? I'm sorry, did I win?

I watched as she took the frog in her hands, and started talking to it. Seriously? Was she really talking to a frog? I take it back- this girl may be pretty, but she was beyond strange. She was…crazy. Who else would talk to frogs, besides people who were clearly insane? And who else would tie people up with their hair? I immediately tried to release myself from her hair (how much did she have anyway? From what I could tell it encircled her whole tower. Now that was even stranger than the frog thing. Hadn't she ever heard of a haircut?)- I needed to get out of here and I needed to do it now. While I tried to free myself, I managed to make out certain snippets out of what she was saying: Yes….need someone to take me….telling the truth…doesn't have fangs …yes….other choice….have. She seemed to come to some kind of decision, put her frog on her shoulder, and then walked back to me, picking up her hair on the way.

"All right, Flynn Rider," she said confidently. "I'm prepared to offer you a deal."

"Deal?" I said, completely incredulous. Was she serious? So, tying me up in her hair wasn't enough, now I had to agree to some sort of deal? What did I ever do to her, besides take refuge in her tower? Seriously! It's not like I knew anybody actually lived here.

Blondie continued to walk, picked up her hair, and then pulled on my chair to face a painting. My chair tipped over and my face fell flat on the floor. And yes, if you wanted to know, it did hurt. My head pounded again. "Do you know what these are?" she asked.

Between the floor and my face, I managed to look up and briefly glanced at the painting. It was a bunch of lights in the sky. Suddenly, I remembered the lanterns that the King and Queen sent up each summer for their lost daughter, hoping she would return. "You mean the lantern thing they do for the princess?" I managed to say between my face and the floor.

Her eyes lit up….and I felt the oddest thrill. Really, her eyes shone like the lanterns she was obviously obsessed with when she smiled like that. "Lanterns!" she repeated softly, almost to herself. "I knew they weren't stars." She shook her head slightly, then continued. "Well, tomorrow evening they will light the night sky with these lanterns." She glanced back at me, almost to make sure I was listening. Well, why wouldn't I be? I mean, I was just dying to know what ridiculous deal she was going to make me agree to. "You will act as my guide and take me to see the lanterns and return me home safely. Then and only then will I return you satchel to you. That is my deal."

Yep. It was official. Blondie here was definitely insane. I mean, she had to be to think that I would ever, ever go back to Caermoor again after I had stolen the crown. If I so much as put one foot there, I would be immediately arrested, and thrown in jail- where at best, I would live for the rest of my life, and at worst, I would be executed. And there would go my island. Not a chance I would agree to her deal. "Yeah. No can do," I said curtly. "Unfortunately, the kingdom and I aren't 'simpatico' at the moment." Simpatico was putting it mildly (at odds was probably a better word, and even that didn't go far enough), but I didn't feel an urge to tell this girl my life's story. "So I won't be taking you anywhere."

Her shoulders slumped, but she glanced at her frog again. Determination entered her eyes once again, and she pulled my chair upright. "Something brought you here, Flynn Rider," she said. "Call it what you will. Fate, Destiny-…."

Fate, my foot. Only one thing had brought me here- and it had four hoofs and a tail. I raised an eyebrow. "A horse?" I retorted dryly.

Completely ignoring my remark, she continued. "….So I have made the decision to trust you."

Well, that was rather stupid of her. I was, as you must know, many wonderful things, but trustworthy was not actually one of them. I mean, look what I had just done with the Stabbingtons. "A horrible decision, really."

She held up my chair with her hand and her hair, and brought her face close to mine. "But trust me when I tell you this," she stated sternly. "You can tear this tower apart brick by brick, but without my help you will never find your precious satchel."

Well, I was pretty sure I was clever enough to find it without having to tear it apart "brick by brick", as she put it, but what else could I do? I couldn't go look for it now, considering I was slightly tied up at the moment. I cleared my throat again, hoping that I had heard her wrong. I didn't think I had though. Still, I couldn't resist asking. "Let me get this straight. I take you to see the lanterns…bring you back home…and you'll give me back my satchel?"

"I promise," she said.

Yeah. Do I look like a sucker to you? Please. I had practically written the book on how to con people. How did I know that if I did take her on this fool excursion, she would give me back my satchel? I didn't. So I raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"And when I promise something I never, ever break that promise," she said firmly.

I continued to look at her skeptically.

"Ever," she insisted.

Maybe she did mean it- she was the oddest girl I had ever met. Maybe she did keep her promises. And maybe pigs flew too. Regardless, even if she was in earnest, I wasn't going to agree. Not without trying my ace first. "All right, I didn't want to have to do this," I began. "But you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder." I dipped my head to my chest, and then put on my smolder face-which generally caused women to throw themselves into my arms. Not that I could actually catch her, in case she did decide to do so, since my arms were still pinned to my sides. But at least maybe she would give up the whole lantern idea.

But she didn't even look like she wanted to and she didn't look like she hadn't forgotten the lanterns either-she kept staring me down. Strange. Hadn't I done the face right? "This is kind of an off day for me," I said in surprise. "This doesn't normally happen."

Well, I had no other brilliant ideas. There was only one option open to me. And yes, I wasn't happy about it. But what else could I do? I was in sort of a bind. "All right, fine," I agreed reluctantly. "I'll take you to see the lanterns." Hopefully she wouldn't be too much of a pain and hopefully it would go fast. And hopefully afterward I would be able to resume my previous plan.

In her apparent joy, she let go of both her hair and my chair. And my face fell flat on the floor. Again. "Really?" she squealed.

My face smarted. "You broke my smolder!" I told her in a weak voice.

But she didn't even notice. She was too excited about those fool lanterns. I sighed heavily. This was so not my idea of a fun day. But what else could I do if I wanted to get my satchel back (and my island)? I had not choice but take this crazy girl to see her crazy lanterns.

And hopefully I wouldn't become too crazy myself in the process.