AN: I'm actually fairly happy with this chapter- it has some of the sarcasm and snark that I felt the last chapter lacked. So yay! It's nice to be happy with your work. though it's funny to me how when I think I do bad on an assignment or test, I do well, and when I think I did well, I only do okay. What is up with that?

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you like this chapter. Please leave a review to tell me what you think!

FL 6

Disclaimer- I do not own Tangled.

Chapter 5- Flynn vs. the Guards (Round 2)

"Necessity is the mother of all invention"

-Plato

"Of the thirty-six ways of avoiding disaster, running away is best."

-Anonymous

"I found the guards!" Greno said excitedly. As soon as he did, I immediately grabbed Blondie's hand and pulled her under a table with me. Of course, they weren't after her, but since I was her "guide" she went where I went. And in this case, that meant she went under the table. And that also meant that she heard a guard demand in a booming voice, "Where's Rider? Where is he? I know he's here somewhere!" Loud footsteps echoed on the floor of the restaurant, and soon a loud smack ricocheted from the top of the table. "Find him! Turn this place upside down if you have to!"

I peeked over the edge of the table and immediately bolted back underneath: the Stabbingtons had just entered the room, and their eyes were angry. They would grow even angrier if they saw me too. I doubted they felt too many warm fuzzies toward me right now. My heart began to pound nervously, and for once, I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. I felt Blondie's eyes on me, and I knew that there was no way that she couldn't be scared right now. I couldn't turn to her and reassure her that everything was going to be all right, because I didn't know that everything would be all right. For all I knew, I was one second away from capture by the guards. She started to breathe rapidly, and I hoped she wouldn't succumb to hysterics.

Amazingly and astonishingly enough, Hook Thug appeared. "Don't worry," he whispered. "You can escape through the tunnel." Overwhelmed with relief, Blondie and I followed him as he graciously helped us escape. He quietly showed us to the tunnel that was hidden beneath the floorboards. As we were about to depart, he sent us off with, "Go. Live your dream."

"Oh, I will," I assured him. Once I returned Blondie to her tower tomorrow, I was going to leave Corona and buy my island. Much to my surprise, Hook Viking chuckled wryly. "Ha! Your dream stinks! I was talking to her!" he said, nodding at Blondie.

My dream did not stink- and his wasn't better (a concert pianist? Please) than mine- but I decided that a retort wouldn't really suit the situation. After all, he hadn't been obliged to help us out. So began to climb down into the passageway. I heard a sweet "Thank you for everything," from Blondie and then she followed me into the darkness of the tunnel.

XXXXXXX

So, in case you wanted to know, the tunnel was dark. Really dark. In fact, it was so dark it was like looking for a black cat in a black room on a black night. Because it was so dark, I told Blondie to grab hold of the back of my shirt so she wouldn't stumble into something. The irony is that I was the one who stumbled into something, but it was a good stumble because I found a lantern.

After I lit it, and as we walked along, I felt like I should say something to her, something to acknowledge what she had done back there. After all, if she hadn't done what she did, I probably would have been captured by the guards with a very broken nose. Really, Blondie here was an unbelievable girl, and instead of being a bad thing, I decided that she was unbelievable in the best sense. And I couldn't help but tell her that in some way. "Well, I gotta say I didn't think you had that in you back there," I told her. "That was pretty…impressive." It was more than impressive, but any more and I would destroy my own reputation. And we couldn't have that.

Blondie beamed. "I know!" she said joyfully. Then, as if she realized how surprised she sounded, she repeated it more nonchalantly."I know." Probably to make me think she convinced thugs to not beat up thieves every day (what was the probability of that? As far as I knew, there were no hidden thugs in her tower). In any case, that was kind of cute of her. I glanced over my shoulder, and flashed a quick smile at her. For a short second I couldn't believe that I'd actually done that. I don't think I'd smiled like that at anybody for years. I was always too busy smirking instead.

She smiled back, and carefully pushed a strand a hair behind her ear. "So, Flynn," she asked. "Where are you from?"

Where are you from? Was that Blondie code for what's your background? Or who are your parents? Maybe she just wanted to know where I was born. Well, whatever she meant I wasn't about to tell her. My personal life was just that- personal. Meaning I didn't tell anybody about it, no matter how pretty their eyes were."Whoa whoa!" I exclaimed. "Sorry, Blondie. I don't do back stories."

Even though I didn't do back stories, I sort of hoped she did. Because I couldn't help but be fantastically interested in hers. Was that completely hypocritical of me? Probably, but I was really curious about her life in the tower- and why she had ended up in the tower in the first place. It was too strange to not pique my interest."However, I am becoming very interested in yours."

Her eyes filled with surprise and she raised an eyebrow. I wasn't sure if she was surprised because I was asking her about herself or because she didn't know why I cared. Well, that made two of us. I didn't know why I cared either. But I did. Don't ask me why; she just intrigued me. Her hair especially did, but she hadn't mentioned its length which I assumed meant I shouldn't either. "Now I know I'm not supposed to mention the hair," I continued.

"Nope," she said emphatically.

She hadn't explained much about her seemingly psycho and overprotective mother either. "Or the mother."

"Uh-uh," she said.

Now that I thought about it, she hadn't explained much about her seemingly best friend frog. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the history behind that one. It was just too weird. "Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog."

She gestured toward her frog. "Chameleon," she corrected.

Frog, chameleon, whatever. A slimy green creature with a slobbery tongue was a slimy green creature with a slobbery tongue. They were all the same to me- and they all were disgusting. "Nuance." Mentally, I went through possible questions that I wanted to ask her, but one came up over and over: she obviously wanted to see those lanterns her entire life and she wanted to see them a lot. And if she wanted it that much, why hadn't her mother taken her? Why hadn't she tried to go herself? Surely her mother could spare her for a day; it's not like she would die without her or anything. Besides, Blondie-even though it was strange to admit it-was very capable of taking care of herself for somebody who spent most of her life alone. She was almost insanely independent. "Here's my question though. If you wanted to see the lanterns that badly," I asked. "Why haven't you gone before?"

She glanced at her frog, seemingly unsure as what to say. I have to say I found that surprising. Like I said, she didn't seem like the type who was cagey or secretive. But she was clearly hedging now."Ah…well…" she stammered finally. Suddenly a small rock hit her head and the ground began to shake underneath our feet. "Ah…Flynn," she said nervously. She glanced behind us and I followed her gaze. Ten guards with swords and lanterns bore down on us, yelling "Rider!" at the top of their lungs. I just couldn't shake them, could I?

Poor Blondie's eyes filled with fear again. "FLYNN!" she shrieked. Well, as much as I wanted to do something daring and brave and worthy of my name, in this kind of circumstance there was really only one thing to do. "Run!" I told her. Her feet seemed incapable of moving so I propelled her forward with my arm. "RUN!"

She finally seemed to understand that we had to run for our lives. Literally. Okay, that isn't completely fair- she didn't need to run for her life, because they had nothing on her. But they had plenty on me, not the least of which was the crown (the crown that I didn't even have anymore because it was hidden somewhere in Blondie's tower). I had the distinct feeling that she had no idea what she had gotten herself into when she demanded that I agree to her deal.

Anyway, she scooped up her hair and started to run swiftly behind me. Soon we left the tunnel, but that wasn't as good a thing as you might think. Sure, we were out of the dark but being in the light once more meant that we were on the edge of a precipice, a real precipice and not just a figurative one. Indeed, the tunnel let out on a cliff. Funny how Hook Thug didn't find it necessary to mention that. The cliff was surrounded by some kind of dam as well, that was only held up by wooden beams. Blondie and I continued to run, but as we grew closer to the edge, my protective instinct kicked in and I put a hand on her arm to keep her from running of the edge. She glanced down, but I'm not sure if she noticed the ladder that led down to the ground. I was about to point it out to her, but a loud crack echoed in my ears. Two burly and redheaded men-that looked awfully like the Stabs- burst out of a tunnel. My heart sunk like lead with dread. Which way could we go? We couldn't go back because I would be captured by the guards, and we couldn't go forward or down because I would be caught by the Stabs and who knows what they would do to me for splitting on them. Well, this was only a small pickle, wasn't it?

You might find it strange that I wasn't more surprised that they managed to escape. But to be honest with you, even if they didn't have much brain they had plenty of brawn. So it wasn't too hard to imagine that they figured out some way to break free of the guards. Blondie noticed my horrified expression. "Um…who's that?"she asked.

Yep. I was going to tell her that they were my old partners in crime. Not. I pointed a finger at them. "They don't like me," I told her. Only mildly understating things, but hey, I was only in a small time crunch.

She glanced back behind us, obviously noticing the guards who still hadn't given up on the chase. In fact, because we hadn't gone anywhere, they were almost on top of us. Blondie, suddenly becoming like the proverbial curious cat, couldn't help but ask another question: "Who's that?"

Not wanting to tell her that they were after me for stealing, I decided to repeat my previous response. "They don't like me either."

The annoying white horse quickly followed them. "Who's that?" she asked for the third time. Impatient with her game of twenty questions, I quickly turned her to face me."Look," I told her, annoyed. "Let's just assume for the moment that everyone here doesn't like me." I briefly thought –quite idiotically- that I hoped I didn't have to include her on that list. Though why she would like me after I had repeatedly tried to trick her was beyond me.

Her eyes darted around, and determinedly shoved her frying pan into my chest."Here!" she said. Then she threw the end of her hair around one of the beams and swung over to another rock. My eyes widened. Now that was impressive. I probably would have reveled in my astonishment, had it not been for the guards. They hadn't given up on the attempt to capture me. In fact, they even seemed to reveal in it. The Captain of the Guard- at least, I assumed he was- pulled out his sword and taunted me. "I've waited a long time for this."

I suppose he thought that he was about to capture me-finally. Well, I wasn't about to give in without a fight, even if it was only with an idiotic frying pan. They started to thrust their swords at me, but I hit them hard with her frying pan and, much to my surprise, managed to knock them all out. Stunned, I stared at the pan, shocked at what it had done for me. I decided then and there that Blondie was actually completely right about frying pans. They were pretty amazing. "Oh, Mama!" I quipped excitedly. "I have got to get me one of these! Ha!"

Before I had time to think about what to do next, the annoying white horse lunged at me with a sword in its teeth. Oh, you have got to be kidding me, I thought. I started to fight with the frying pan once more, but I couldn't help but tell the horse how insane this was. You know what I said back when I realized that I was tied up by Blondie's hair? How I said I had seen it all? Well. As much as it pains me to admit this, since I pride myself on my superb intellect, I was wrong. Because fighting a horse with a sword it its mouth with a frying pan definitely won first place in the "Top 10 Wild and Wacky Things that Flynn Rider Has Done". "You should know that this is the strangest thing I have ever done!"

Somehow the horse managed to knock the frying pan right out of my hands, and it tumbled to the ground below. The horse didn't give up though, and shoved the sword in my face. Defensively, I held up my hands."How about two out of three?" I suggested. He didn't seem to be too fond of that plan, but thankfully Blondie (for who knows what reason) decided to help me: She threw some of her hair around one of my hands and yanked me off the ledge. "Flynn!" she yelled. As she did, I waved cockily at the horse. See ya! Nice fighting with you. May we never do it again. Seriously, there's only so many insane things that I could take in one day….

…And swinging by Blondie's hair lower and lower to the ground, while the Stabbs swiped their swords at me, was one of them. Still, I would be lying if I didn't enjoy the completely bewildered and annoyed expressions on their faces as they unsuccessfully tried to get me. "Ha!" I taunted them smugly. "You should see your faces! Because you look-…"

My chest smashed painfully into a solid wooded beam. "…ridiculous," I finished in a breathless voice. You might think my reaction was extreme but trust me. Crashing into a piece of wood is not one those things that you need to experience to know that it hurts. Like the dickens. The breath was totally knocked out of me for about a whole minute. I couldn't talk much either, which was a true tragedy for someone who loves to hear their own voice as much as I do. Once I stopped feeling like I had been hit in the chest by ten white guard horses, I climbed up off the beam into a long wooden chute that had some water in it. I kept hold of Blondie's hair just in case it would come in handy.

And as it turned out it did. I know Rapunzel-when she tells this story- calls Maximus (when we didn't know his name yet) the Big White Horse. But honestly, I can't call him that- it doesn't fully express how much of an irritation, and burr under my saddle, that horse was. So, for brevity, I'll just call him the Annoying White Horse, or the AWH for short, to fall in line with Rapunzel. Anyway, the AWH was not one to give up without a fight, and began to kick down the beams that held up the dam…quite successfully. The wooden beam fell precisely where it needed to if they wanted to cross over to where Blondie was, and the AWH quickly took advantage of it. He instantly began to chase after her.

I couldn't let her get caught by them, not when she had done so much to help me. So I immediately yelled to her. "Come on, Blondie! Jump!" Since she was such a brave girl, she didn't hesitate for a second and jumped off the cliff, seconds before the AWH would have caught her with his teeth- and seconds before the dam burst. I watched to make sure she landed safely (which she did, almost gracefully), and then she began to run toward a tunnel in the side of the rocks. I followed her, though much less stylishly, I must admit. The chute that I was in decided that- to make everything more challenging for me- it would be a good time to completely fall apart. I was lucky that I didn't break my neck, considering I was almost ten feet in the air when it collapsed. Once I reached the ground, I immediately ran after Blondie, even scooping up her hair in my hands, toward the tunnel.

To complicate matters further, a gigantic stone pillar decided to fall in our direction and the Stabbs kept chasing us. But Blondie and I managed to reach the tunnel before we were crushed by the pillar, and I even managed to rescue her frying pan. For a minute, I relaxed because I thought we were safe.

As it turned out, I couldn't have been more wrong.