A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I do because it introduces our three boys! :D read and review! :) While this chapter is mainly James' centric, the next chapter will be Carlos/Logan centric. You will see what I mean as you read, but I hope you like the boys witty and hilarious antics and interactions. I enjoyed writing them a lot :)
This chapter is also a bit angsty so…beware :)
And yay for 11,000+ words. I can't promise a chapter like this EVERYTIME but I just have so much stuff to put in one :D I hope you enjoy and that you read and review :D!
And make sure to check out the absolutely amazing, astounding waterwicca's, Past The Sorrow, tawniee's Coffee Break, and christinainwonderlands Ampersandand
And check out my other story Bittersweet :) thanks for all the WONDERFUL reviews I have gotten, which I love immensely and try to reply to all of them. They're amazing. Thanks so much for reading this, I'm glad you like it!
And now on with the story….
Chapter Nine: It's Back
"So, I'll be there for your first session, but after that, it's recommended that you go yourself, alright?"
"Yeah."
Kendall and Kim sat at their small, white, round kitchen table, talking over scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. It was early in the morning, before the sun had even peeked up out of the sky to illuminate the freshly fallen snow in Duluth, and Kendall had been melancholy since the moment he saw the Tregger's big, beautiful, luxurious house fade from him in the rearview window, along with the small view of Stella through a large, plate glass window. Kim had come downstairs to see Kendall lazily lying on the living room couch, flipping aimlessly through their three hundred and some odd channels at five in the morning. Knowing he was still a bit on edge from this whole "therapy" idea, or at least that was what she thought, so she had decided to make the two of them a quiet breakfast, Katie still upstairs sleeping soundly.
Kendall hadn't gotten much sleep that night, horribly wondering how Stella was doing in her big, barely heated, empty house alone, looking up at the stars. Kendall had tossed and turned the entire night, wishing for Stella's warm body to be next to his, due to the cool chill of his bland, blue, room. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings into her beautiful blonde hair. His blue sheets had engulfed him in a drowning sea of loneliness. The fact that when he opened his green eyes, Stella was not there, nearly killed him inside, his heart beating faster and his breaths hitching, as if he had to frantically search for her, before it was too late; before something happened to her.
He was so mentally, and physically exhausted, he hadn't even had time or energy to contact Carlos, James or Logan since he had stepped into the house near two o'clock the previous day, something that normally would've been his first priority. The boys would be quite surprised when they had learned that Kendall had come back from Thief River Falls a day early.
Upon returning home, Kendall had dragged his suitcases upstairs to his cold, uninviting room, changed into something a bit more comfortable, and sprawled out in his bed, under the covers, hiding from the rest of the world. While Kendall wasn't overly depressed about leaving her, he couldn't help but feel like he was abandoning Stella, three hours away. He was a bit angry with himself. He had been there for her the entire week, and he had witnessed the immense change in the girl, where she had pushed him away at the start, but was making love to him by the end.
He missed her quite terribly.
His best friends knew nothing of the situation he was going through with Stella. Kendall hadn't really found the need to text them all week like he had planned, and he did feel bad about it, especially since he had told them before he left he would be texting them non-stop over the week, trying to get his mind off the holidays. It was like he was missing for a week, as if he was in some different world. He had gotten texts from Carlos, James and Logan, but if he even had responded, it was just with a "can't talk" or a "be right back". His mother had also warned him that if he did spend the whole vacation texting, that'd he be in trouble, because she wanted him to enjoy himself around other people. She no longer wanted this closed book of a son.
Kendall Knight had left Duluth as cracked boy.
Returning, he was to become a shattered man.
"So, are you going to hang out with the guys today?" Kim asked positively, gently scooping up a helping of eggs onto her silver fork, and softly taking it between her lips. Kendall looked down at his breakfast upset, not even hungry. He didn't want to eat. What he wanted to do was get bundled up in his scarf, jacket and gloves, wrap his breakfast in aluminum foil, grab the keys to his dark blue '98 Chevy, and drive the three hours to Thief River Falls to make sure Stella had something warm to eat for breakfast.
Kendall knew the only way he was going to feel better about Stella, was to talk to his friends about the beautiful, blonde who had captured his heart and clouded his mind. He was a bit hesitant to tell them of the true love he shared with her though, because I mean, it had only been a week he had known her and maybe they would find it weird.
Kendall knew that he loved Stella. He felt it in his heart, all the way down to his bones, and through the layers of his soft, white skin. It was love. It had to be.
He knew James, Carlos and Logan would be a bit pissed off that he hadn't really made any contact with him since the Knight's had left, but hopefully they would understand. Well, Kendall knew they understand. He chuckled a bit about how the boys probably were lost the past week without the warm hospitality of his house, in which they all seemed to live in during the weekends, and after school. Movie Friday nights, hockey Saturday nights, and random Sunday afternoons at Kendall's was the weekend-ly routine for the four best friends, stemming back since they were just pee-wee hockey players, and used to go to Kendall's after practice for juice boxes and cookies.
He missed his friends quite terribly as well.
"Uh, yeah. Probably shoot some pucks down at the rink or something like that," he said fake happily, trying to cover his miserable mood with a bit of excitement about seeing his friends. While Kim knew her son was struggling tremendously with her husband's death, and that his anger was getting the best of him, she hadn't really brought up the idea of leaving him leaving Kacey in her mind. She had thought the girl was a nice, sweet, beautiful distraction for Kendall while the tough Christmas holidays came up this year. She had never been so wrong.
She hadn't even thought to ask him about the blonde. She figured the flirtation had ended with a few kisses on the cheek, and a few on the lips. She had never thought that her son would be losing his virginity to her over Christmas break.
"Aren't you excited to see them again, sweetheart? You don't sound it," Kim said a bit concerned, setting her fork down, and tearing off a piece of toast with her fingers. She figured he would've been out the door as soon as possible to hang out with the three boys she called her second sons. Kendall sighed and shrugged, twisting his fork in his untouched eggs lazily.
All he could think about was Stella.
"Yeah, I am," said honestly, trying to get rid of his bad mood. Kim looked at her broken son, and sighed deeply, the lower chambers of heart being ripped into pieces whenever she saw that straight, unexpressive smile on his face. It had been a usual visitor around the Knight house the past few months.
"…Is this about therapy? Because I know you may not want to go, but it's gonna help you Kendall, I promise," she said concerned, leaning her hand across the table, placing it on top of the loose fist he had formed with his own hand.
Kendall swallowed hard, looking up at his mother's concerned blue eyes. She had no idea the horrible weight he was carrying on his shoulders. Abandoning a girl he truly loved, not being able to protect her, not being able to talk to her, or kiss her. The lack of Stella's presence made Kendall near crazy the past nineteen hours or so, and who knows the next time they were going to talk to each other. And all the while, Kim never even thought to ask of the blonde who had partaken in their Christmas dinner days ago.
To tell his mother about Stella, or not to?
Nope.
"I know. Thanks mom, it's just taking a while to get used to the whole idea," Kendall lied through his teeth. Kim smiled sympathetically at her son, and squeezed his fist tightly, letting him know she was there.
"I know. But it's all gonna be okay soon, sweetheart. I promise."
Kendall couldn't help but hope his mother was right.
"So if radical x plus five, equals x minus fifteen, then x equalsssss….?" Logan asked James, in a desperate last attempt for James to finish all the algebra he had to do over their vacation, that he of course had left for last minute.
Logan's pencil eraser bounced off the old text book with each flick of his impatient wrist. He had been trying to help James with his math homework for nearly forty minutes now, and it was already 12:00. This was the last thing that either of them wanted to do, especially after a snow storm like this, when the pond down a few blocks from James would surely be frozen over, allowing them unlimited hockey time.
However, loving Mrs. Lucie Diamond had told procrastinator James he was not to go anywhere until his math was done, and seeing as Logan had come over bright and early for hockey, with Carlos tagging along, she felt it the perfect opportunity for James to get the help he so desperately needed.
Mrs. Diamond was a doting mother and housewife, adamant about James' keeping his grades up, and if the pretty boy hadn't needed a certain GPA to play ice hockey, he'd have spent warm Minnesota summers at school doing make-ups, instead of venturing out with Kendall, Carlos and Logan to wherever.
Lucille Moreau had been an energetic, smart, beautiful, young, sophomore French-exchange student at the University of Minnesota in the late 80's. She came from a small town in France, Montrichard, and had been granted with a full scholarship to study theater at the Duluth campus. Jason Diamond was the sophomore starting center on the Bulldog's ice hockey team, averaging 210 points a season, looking at a promising future on the Minnesota Wild, for which offers had already been circulating.
After one of the Bulldog's great victories over Michigan Tech right after Christmas time, Lucille, affectionately Lucie, had stumbled into the victory party with some of her friends, who were eager to introduce her to some of the finer American athletes and faces. Lucie had come upon Jason Diamond in a shady corner of the party, when her friends had all gone their separate ways, and asked him where the bathroom was in the best English she could manage. While nearly bi-lingual, her French accent was so heavy, you could barely understand a word the young woman said.
From the simple answer of "down the hall", it was love. Lucie and Jason became inseparable a short time later. Lucie strived in her acting, while Jason strived in his ice hockey, all the way up until senior year. Lucie was offered a prestigious role on "Joyous", a popular up and coming television show shooting in New York City upon graduation, while Jason was offered a bench seat on the Minnesota Wild. However, a month before their may graduation, Lucie found out she was two months pregnant…with her only son, to be named James. That changed everything.
Lucie and Jason had gotten married instantly after throwing their caps up in the air, and James Kennedy Diamond was born just a few months after. Obviously not acting anytime soon, Lucie declined from all theatrical production after graduating and marrying her college sweetheart. Even after much persuasion from his father to take the offer from the Wild, Jason decided to go against his wishes and take a job at the University as a sports therapist, his original major, staying close to his Minnesota roots and family, while he and Lucie raised their son in the quiet suburbs of Duluth, Minnesota.
"U-uhh…" James stuttered out, looking at the math problems in front of him as if they were gibberish. He swallowed hard and bit his lip nervously, not knowing the answer at all. James wasn't the brightest at math, heck, James barely had the light bulb screwed in when it came to math.
"X equalsssss…Seven?" James asked cluelessly, his eyes squinted, his body shifting away from Logan's bracing for the impact of the smart boy's explanation unto why his answer was dead wrong, and how to do it the correct way, which was guaranteed to make James lose his mind in .3 seconds.
"Twenty-five," Logan groaned frustrated, with a sigh, throwing his pencil down, as he began knitting his white fingers in his raven-black hair with an oncoming migraine. Carlos, who sat at the other end of the large, mod, kitchen table in the Diamond's kitchen, looked from James to Logan with an impatient, annoyed, bored face. He tapped his fingers on the glass table and bit his lower lip, making the same face he would make when his mother was on the phone with someone important, and he needed to ask her a question.
"So…when are we…playing…hockey?" Carlos asked in the sweetest, most innocent voice ever. Logan looked up from his personal space, James shooting Carlos a look, as Carlos cocked an eyebrow at his stone faced friends curiously. The James, Logan, Math relationship was just not working out, it never really had.
Carlos knew when a relationship wasn't working.
"What?" he asked, scrunching his shoulders and nose, getting a cold glare from each of them. James stared at his messy notebook, with chicken scratch handwriting and placed his pencil down in the crease, shutting it closed and staring at his friends with a smile.
"All done!" he exclaimed excitedly, putting on his best pearly white smile, literally catapulting himself out of his chair so it flew back into the white wall of the Diamonds' kitchen, probably leaving a mark, and shaking the professionally taken portrait of James and his parents hung above him. James stood straight up, like he never had math homework in the first place. Carlos chuckled and Logan looked up at him like he was crazy.
"You're not even close to done, James. You still have two more multiple choice and three free response," Logan said knowingly, motioning to the last five questions the pretty one had ignored. James looked at Logan and let out a chuckle, motioning his hands to the paper his face alit with ignorance.
"Where? I see everything done, don't you Carlos? I did all of them," James squeaked out with a chuckle, motioning back and forth to the text book and his closed notebook like he was on some kinda of acid trip. Carlos looked up at Logan who sighed, his head in his hands, shaking it disapprovingly.
"Hockey time!" Carlos shot out of his seat, hands in the air, the chair pushing backwards against the floor, hitting into the counter behind it, sending Mrs. Diamond's glass of lemonade iced tea to the floor in a shatter. All three boys looked at each other with horror, Carlos turning his head slowly behind him, hands still up in the air, his eyes wide at the mess he made.
"Boys, what was that?" Mrs. Diamond asked in her high pitched, still vaguely accented voice, from the den just down the hall from the kitchen. All three boys looked at each other and held back their chuckles, Carlos slowly lowering his arms, Logan biting his lower lip to stifle more laughter, and James standing there with his hands on his hips, trying to make some sort of excuse for the noise.
"Nothing, Ma. Logan threw my text book on the floor because he was getting mad," James hollered. Logan looked at him with a distressed face, knitted eyebrows, and his hands hit the glass table gently in confusion.
"Dude?"
James shrugged as a thunderous vibration was heard in the kitchen.
"APOCALYPSE!" Carlos yelped, immediately ducking down under the glass table for cover, his chair hitting against the counter again, Logan rolling his eyes playfully, as James walked over to where the broken glass lay, around a small pool of brown liquid.
"Relax, Carlitos. It's just my phone," Logan sighed, reaching a bit in front of him for his new iPhone. It had been a gift from his parents due to his 1400 on the PSAT he had taken just a few weeks ago, and studied countlessly for. James bent down to clean up the iced tea with a sigh, picking up the broken glass.
"Who is texting you? We're all here except-"
"KENDALL!" Logan exclaimed excitedly, his eyes eagerly scanning the text message he had received with a small smile.
From: K-Dawg
Got back a day early. What are you guys up to?
"Seriously?" Carlos asked happily, his small, tiny frame still under the table. He popped up from under it, sitting back in his pushed back chair as if nothing had just happened as James threw the glass in a paper towel, throwing it in the wastebasket next to the sink, getting more paper towels to clean up the drink.
"Well, what'd he say?" Carlos asked impatiently, tired of waiting and getting up and coming over to Logan quickly.
"He got back a day early, and wants to know what we are up to," Logan reported, eyebrows knitted, trying his best to type on the touch screen he still wasn't used to, even after three weeks. Carlos came behind Logan, placing on hand on his shoulder, his eyes squinting at the text message.
"Jeez. He's been AWOL the entire week and now he wants to talk and hang out with us?" James said while cleaning the tile with a paper towel, down on his hands and knees. Carlos' gaze turned to him.
"Dude, relax. We all know the holiday was going to be rough for him. It's the first one without his dad," Carlos said defensively, knowing just where Kendall was coming from. James sighed and nodded, coming over to the table where the two boys were. He took his seat and sighed.
"At James'…out to play…hockey in a…bit. Wanna…join?" Carlos read behind the smart boy's shoulder with squinted eyes as Logan slowly typed each word on the technological genius.
"Anddd...send," Logan stated with emphasis, tapping his iPhone gingerly with a pleased smile. Carlos swallowed hard, still staring at the long, full equation for pi that Logan had set as his phone's background. There was silence between the three boys.
"Do you think he's alright?" Carlos asked bluntly, going back to his seat slowly as James and Logan looked at him oddly. Carlos sat down as James cocked his eyebrow confused, his fingers tapping on his math textbook.
"What do you mean?" James asked him. Carlos sat down mellower than he had been in the past year and a half and sighed.
"I don't know, I mean…we all saw how Kendall acted right after he died," Carlos said in a serious tone of voice.
All three boys looked at each other with serious, silent eyes. Kendall's behavior immediately following the accident wasn't to be spoken of.
"It must've been really hard for him this Christmas without him. You know how close they were," Carlos whispered sadly, looking down at his fingers. When in doubt, count on Carlos to make everyone at the table feel emotionally drained. Logan and James silently nodded to themselves, as the kitchen went silent, the only thing heard was the buzzing of the light hung above the table.
"Remember the time Mr. Knight took us ice fishing out on Lake Spring when we went camping in Dassel?" James spoke, staring down, a small chuckle passing his lips. Logan laughed as did Carlos.
"Yes, and I caught a huge fish…but it was actually Carlos swimming underwater," Logan smiled, shooting a look of childhood remembrance at his friend. Carlos sighed and let out a small chuckle.
"Well, I lost my fishing rod and I had to get it back," Carlos defended himself playfully. Logan nodded, tapping his phone gently on the table and sighing.
"I remember it was the hottest summer Minnesota had seen in twenty-three years," Logan whispered out under his breath, the memories of the good times with Kendall's father all rushing back to him.
"I still can't believe he's gone," James muttered out lowly.
Kristopher Knight had been a father to all four boys. Since the boys lived at Kendall's house anyway, Kris was always there to update the boys on the Wild's record, be a fifth player when they placed ice hockey, sneak up snacks to them when they had sleepovers after Kim had gone to sleep, and in the last few years of his life as the boys grew older, he had always been there to talk, for support, or for cheering up.
That's why when Mr. Knight died; all four boys lost a father.
It lightly flurried, snow barely sticking to the wet ground, overcast by a gray, distant, ominous sky. Logan, James and Carlos had made their way into the beautiful, snow covered church that Mr. and Mrs. Knight had been married in two decades and a few years ago, with their parents quietly.
The boys made their way quietly into the pew, four rows back from the first one, sitting behind most of Mr. and Mrs. Knight's family. Their parents had quietly settled into the row behind them, lightly talking about the untimely death of their sons' best friend's father.
"I've never been to a funeral before," Carlos whispered out nervously, sitting on the end, his eyes scanning all the mourners, some already lightly drying. His eyes scoped the beautiful woodworking of the church, the beautiful candles that lined the altar, and the stained glass windows that filled the church with any trace of light to be found behind the gloomy clouds.
"Me either," James said softly, taking off his long, black overcoat he had borrowed from his own father, flipping his hands through his hair.
"I have. It's rough," Logan said lowly, taking off his winter jacket, and setting it beside him on the pew.
Carlos arced his head down the aisle, where he could see a bunch of people gathered at the church doors, and very briefly, the oak casket that held one of the greatest men he had ever met. Carlos' eyes stung with tears just thinking about what the next two hours would do to his friends' minds, especially Kendall's.
After a few moments of the boys' incredibly fearful and tragic thoughts, the organ started to play.
"Ahhhhhh-maaaaaazinnnng Graaaaaaaaace. How sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet the sounddddddd…"
Everyone in black stood up, people letting out small sobs as the procession down the long aisle began. The priest, dressed in white, led the oak casket, on a stretcher-type mechanism down the aisle slowly to the music. It was only a few seconds into the procession, when Carlos, James and Logan's hearts all stopped, as they saw Kendall, clad in a morbid black suit, proceed down the aisle miserably.
He had transformed from a child of two loving, gracious parents, to the only protector of his mother and sister in the matter of three days. His shaggy blonde hair hung in front of his tired, dull, watery green eyes with each mindless step he took forward, as if he was being forced to do this.
"Kendall," Carlos whispered out in shock, even though the boy was well down the aisle, not even past them yet.
Tears formed in the boy's brown eyes, as Kendall walked down the aisle, his eyes directly fixed on his father's casket, his lower lip quivering with pain. One arm was around Mrs. Knight, whose entire face was curled up into a tight ball of extreme and unimaginable sorrow. Tears fell down her face, her body shaking, as Kendall did his best to hold her close, his rubbing up and down her shoulder comfortingly. Small Katie leaned into her big brother's side crying hysterically. All three boys hadn't seen her cry since her diaper days.
As the procession neared forward, with other relatives of Mr. and Mrs. Knight behind the grieving immediate family, you could clearly see Kendall's distraught face, the confused furrowing in his brow, the constant gaze at the casket in front of him, like somehow staring at it would bring his back to life. He didn't sob, but silently cried, painfully.
Emotionally distraught.
Poor Katie was engulfed in a mess of tears, her entire body shaking with each step she tried to take. Kendall's gaze finally broke off his father's coffin, and he turned to his distraught baby sister beside him, and without a second thought, skillfully gently picked her up with a small grunt, as she immediately buried her head into his shoulder, her hands around his neck tightly, Kendall's face tensing up, his heart tearing in two at the tears his beloved sister cried into him. He fastened his grip on her, Mrs. Knight resting a hand on her sons' shoulder and looking up at him, as Kendall kissed Katie's silky brown hair, and whispered into her ear, stroking her hair gently.
As the procession passed Carlos, James and Logan the boys all looked at Kendall, who did nothing but stare ahead, trying his best to keep Katie calm. He didn't look at his friends as he passed, but if he had, he would've seen three heartbroken, silently crying boys, with their hands tightly grasped in one another, their eyes full of grief and utter sadness.
Kendall's hand remained around his mom's frame the entire service, rubbing her arm gently as she silently sobbed into him. They knew he was trying his best to be strong. The boys didn't dare talk. But anytime someone went up to say something about Mr. Knight, or a word of remembrance was spoken about him, all three grips would tighten at the same…exact…time.
It was as if they were one person.
Then came the cemetery.
Logan, James and Carlos all stood clad in black suits, with black coats, gloves and shoes, right behind the now incomplete and broken Knight family, snow falling all around them, a bitter, joking chill in the air. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond, and Mrs. Garcia all stood in the row behind their respective sons, a hand from each parent on their son's arm, offering some sort of comfort. James, Carlos and Logan's parents all knew how close the boys were with Mr. Knight, and each parent had loved the man as well. There was something about Kristopher Knight that made everyone love him.
Their heads bowed down in silence, as Mr. Knight's beautiful, oak casket slowly rest above the ground for its last five minutes in the small light, snow gently flurrying on it, a now thicker white layer covering the ground. About thirty of the families closest relatives and friends gathered with sniffles and silence, the light snow falling down on their black ensembles morbidly.
Kendall stood next to his mother silently, whose body shook tremendously, one arm holding her tight to him as she rest on his shoulder distraught, as he rubbed up and down her arm. His other arm was around Katie, who sobbed quietly into his jacket, rubbing her small back gently, cuddling her into him the best he could.
Kendall Knight had the burden of two women sobbing into him, the man he would've usually called to help, was now gone.
The priest said a few final prayers to close up the short ceremony, as Mrs. Knight and Katie were each handed a red rose. Kim lifted her head from her son's shoulder, his eyes still cast down at the casket, as Katie broke from Kendall's side unwillingly, eyes blood red, bags under them. The poor girl hadn't gotten sleep in days.
James, Carlos and Logan all stood silently, as they watched Kim and Katie, hands tightly encased in one another as they slowly walked up to the hole in the ground which held Mr. Knight. Katie leaned into her mother and let out a small cry, as Kim bent down a bit, hugging Katie sweetly, and kissing her hair, trying her best to calm her daughter down, so she could have one, last good-bye.
"Sweetheart, y-you have t-to say good-bye n-now," Kim barely got out, leaning her forehead against her daughters, closing her blue eyes in anguish, as Kendall bit his lip, to stop a sob. Not only was he going to have to say good-bye to his father for good in a minute or so, but he had to watch his mother and sister say good-bye as well, and it tore his heart apart.
Katie and Kim each threw a rose onto Mr. Knight's casket, each muttering some words that Carlos, James and Logan couldn't hear. As they tearfully retreated back to where Kendall stood, frozen in time. Kim looked at her son, snow collecting on his black coat that had belonged to his father, as she ran her hand through his hair, and stood on her tippy toes to kiss his temple tenderly. Kendall didn't move, and all Carlos, Logan and James could see from behind him was him bow his head even more, as Mrs. Knight whispered something in his ear, and kissed his cheek tenderly.
Finally, after a few seconds of silence, except the winds that had picked up, along with the snow, Kendall took a few small steps forward, and reached into the pocket of his overcoat. With shaking hands, he took out a guitar pick, Logan, James and Carlos all looking at each other in confusion, not knowing the significance.
His father had given it to him when he first started playing, when he had first started singing. Kendall swallowed hard, his blonde hair covering his eyes a bit as tears fell down his cold, flushed cheeks. Puffs of air slipped from his lips helplessly, as he felt the guitar pick his father had given him one last time through his thick leather gloves.
This was the final good-bye.
Kendall looked up to the sky in anguish, tears coming out of his eyes, staring at the beautiful oak of the casket in front of him. He stared it at for a few seconds, as if it was his last chance for his father to come back to life. After a few seconds of silence, and the realization kicking in, Kendall bit his lower lip, opening his hand, and dropping the pick in the hole with a small clink. He swallowed hard, let out a small cry and took a deep breath.
"I love you, Daddy."
When Kendall turned around in that moment, and finally truly faced his best friends for the first time that day, it was worse than they had expected. Whilst Mrs. Knight and Katie had fallen in the arms of Kendall's maternal grandparents, Kendall looked up at his friends with no one to turn to. He was the man of the house now. He had a mother and a sister to protect. James, Carlos and Logan all saw the helpless defeat in the boys beautiful yellow-green eyes.If there was one thing that Kendall Knight wasn't, it was helpless and defeated.
The look in his eyes would haunt James, Carlos and Logan for days.
Kendall turned back around, facing the casket the boys holding back their own sobs and tears as the priest said his final words, and closed his bible with a small sound.
Goodbyes were over.
Sobs choked from Kendall's throat heart wrenchingly, his gloved hands began to lace through his messy hair, shoulders began rising and falling violently with each cry louder than the one before it.
Their best friend needed them.
Carlos, James and Logan all stepped forward, not being able to be these innocent bystanders anymore. They were Kendall's best friends, and he needed them. James rested a hand on Kendall's shoulder gently, and at the slightest touch, the boy turned around to the brunette, and threw his arms around his torso desperately. Kendall needed someone to cry into after being the rock for the past three tumultuous days.
Kendall was then caught in large group hug, as he hysterically cried into James' neck, his hands around the tallest boy tightly, gripping at the back of his coat in anguish. Carlos rested his head on Kendall's shaking shoulder, his eyes stricken with tears, as he sobbed along, Logan's arms around Kendall's torso, his head rested on Kendall's other shoulder, tears streaming down his face, as the four boys cried together, mourning the loss of a man close to all of them.
"I-I miss h-him so m-m-much," Kendall sobbed into James' ear, loud enough for all four boys to hear, his voice barely audible as he clutched the fabric of James' coat in anger, squeezing his eyes shut.
"I know, buddy, I-I know," James barely cracked out, tears cascading from his eyes, as Carlos hugged Kendall tightly, Logan silent.
"W-what am I gonna do w-without him-m?" he cried muffled into James' jacket, Logan's hand on his best friends back, rubbing it soothingly as other mourners looked on, the sight of the four boys breaking nearly every heart standing around the grave.
"You have us, Kendall. We're not going anywhere," Carlos muttered out softly between short cries.
"We promise," Logan whispered out through tears.
As the mourners left one by one, the snow getting heavier, finding its place on the backs, skin, and hair of the four brothers engrossed in one another, James, Carlos, Logan and Kendall did not dare part from each other's embrace.
It was a day the four of them would never forget.
The four boys' obvious thoughts were interrupted by another thunderous vibration. Logan snatched his iPhone up quickly snapping out his trance, and brought up the new text from Kendall.
From: K-Dawg
Sure. Pond on Hennery? What time you boys thinkin?
"What-uh, what time?" Logan asked his friends, his voice weak, clearing his throat. They all knew they had been thinking of the funeral and the horrible aftermath of Mr. Knight's death. James sighed deeply, as Lucie walked into the room with a concerned face, nearing her son's chair.
"What's wrong, brune?" Lucie asked James, her soft facial features dropping upon seeing the obviously twisted look on her son's face. James smiled up at his mother, who had always used the affectionate French name for Brunette, for him since coming out of the womb. Both his parents had been astounded by the dark, brown hair that had covered their little boy's head since day one.
"Nothing, ma. Just finishing up my math, that's all," James said with a smile, as Lucie leaned down and kissed his shiny brown hair and smiled. James looked at Logan as his mother went to the counter, probably looking for the lemonade iced tea she had poured herself.
"Tell him a half an hour," James said, gathering up his unfinished math homework, as Carlos got up from the table. Logan began to text Kendall back, as Lucie looked around the kitchen curiously, her dark eyebrows furrowed, her plump red lips pursed in confusion.
"James, where is my lemonade iced tea?" she asked her son with a knowing glance. James looked at Carlos, Logan looked up from his phone and all three boys exchanged a smile.
"Make that fifteen minutes."
Logan, James and Carlos trudged through the fresh snow and icy sidewalks to the unofficial pond on Hennery Street. They had learned most of their hockey skills throughout their lives on the small pond, rather than the actual rink a few miles out of town which required a car to get there. It had been a big pain in their younger years to get there when it wasn't cold enough to play on the nearby pond, but as the boys grew older and began to drive, it wasn't so bad. But now in the dead of winter, the pond was seasonally perfect for ice hockey.
"Do you think something happened to Kendall over vacation, and that's why he didn't talk to us?" Carlos asked curiously, trudging behind Logan and James, skates around his neck, hitting against his chest, using the end of his stick as a cane of some sort.
Logan sighed. "I don't know, man. I mean, yeah its weird that Kendall didn't really respond and all, but maybe he was just busy. Mama Knight did say that her friend had a son around Kendall's age, maybe they hung out the whole week," Logan said, trying to maneuver his feet around the icy sidewalk. They could see the pond just across the street, with a tall, teenage boy skating around it. Yup. Definitely Kendall.
"You mean like…replaced us?" Carlos asked confused and worrisome. Logan sighed deeply and James chuckled, running his hand that didn't grip his hockey stick through his hair, making sure it was perfectly coifed to his liking.
James of course had to have his hair in perfect order anytime he even stepped out of the house, or never the less the shower. His three best friends had barely ever seen him "unglamorous" except maybe at sleepovers, and the one or two times James' had drank too much at a party and been horridly hung over the next day.
"No way. He would never replace us," Logan said matter-of-factly, knowing that each of the four of them were definitely irreplaceable in their own days. Kendall was the brave, courageous leader, Logan the logical, intelligent brains, Carlos the crazy, unpredictable one and James the driven, gorgeous one.
"I bet he met some girl up there and spent the week with her, and that'swhy he didn't talk to us as much," James said defiantly with a smirk, as Logan scoffed ridiculously, wondering exactly just went on in his friends head half the time.
"Not everything is about girls, James," Logan chuckled out, stopping the boys at the end of the sidewalk corner, looking down both icy and deserted roads for cars. After getting the clear, they continued, crossing the street.
"Well, everything good is about girls, come on Logie, you know that," James joked nudging his friend with his duffle, his boots rough against the asphalt of the pavement. "I think it's a girl."
"Well I think that Kendall was having a rough holiday, and spent it with Mama Knight and Katie, and didn't really want to talk to anyone that much," Logan stated proudly, as the boys neared the pond closer and closer, their boots stepping on the fresh snow leaving imprints.
"We'll find out soon enough," Carlos muttered under his breath as Kendall halted on his skates, the boys coming closer to him, able to see him better now.
"Hey jerks," Kendall said with a small, sly smile, as each boy's face dropped looking at their friend.
Kendall still had dark bruises on his cheeks from his fight with Alex, his lip was still a bit swollen, and he had a nice cut slicing through his eyebrow, surrounded by irritation, while also still having a trace of the little love bites Stella had given him, some of them fresh from the last time they had made love two days ago.
"What the hell happened to you?" Logan asked nervously, approaching Kendall and touching his face gently. Kendall swatted Logan's hands away with a chuckle and rolled his eyes. James eyes lit up at Kendall's hockey stick, noticing it was new.
"Dude, is that the Bauer Vapor Senior hockey stick?" James asked jealously. Kendall nodded as James eyed the stick nodding in approval at Mama Knight's Christmas gift.
"Long story, I'll tell you over the game. Let's play," Kendall said enthusiastically, skating around the four boys on one skate, anxious to tell them all about his exciting week. "Did you bring a puck?"
Logan, Carlos and James all looked each other in confusion, and then all back at Kendall in awe. Here, their best friend, after a week not talking to them, returned with a happy smile, a bruised face and a new, expensive hockey stick. Not that the last one really mattered, but the boys all looked Kendall with a suspicious, dumbfounded look.
"How about we skip the game a-" Logan started off.
"And you can tell us what the fuck happened to your face, man!" James blurted out incredulously.
"And why you basically disappeared for a week," Carlos added in worrisome.
Kendall chuckled as Logan hit James and rolled his eyes, Carlos behind the two boys, wondering just where Kendall had gotten the facial injuries from. Logan closed his eyes in frustration and cocked his head to the side.
He did want to tell them about Stella. He needed someone to talk to right now. He wished he could've talked to his dad about this, knowing he'd know all the right things to say. He wanted to tell them absolutely everything. That Stella was a runaway, that he was in love, that he wasn't a virgin anymore, that his mother was making him start therapy. He knew his friends would be there for him no matter what, and he felt that if they were behind him, that maybe he could get through his head he wasn't abandoning Stella, and that it was truly meant to be.
"I know, I have a lot to tell you. I'm sorry, guys. Just…one hell of a week," Kendall said chuckling, his new hockey stick in his hand tightly twisting on the ice beneath him.
"Did you replace us with new friends?
"Did you meet a girl?"
"Was it a hard Christmas?"
All three boys shot out questions at basically the same time, and turning to look at each other nervously. Kendall licked his lips and looked down at his skates, intensity burning in his chest. He couldn't be real with anyone in Thief River Falls but Stella. He had to lie to his mother about where he was going, about Stella's real name, about the intensity of their relationship. But no more. No more lies.
"Guys…" he said looking at them with a smirk. "I fell in love," Kendall smiled with a chuckle, anxiously awaiting their reactions. James' eyes lit up and he pointed at Kendall knowingly, Carlos and Logan still sorting their own feelings out by themselves.
"Haha! I knew it was a girl!" James laughed victoriously. His face went straight for a moment and he arched an eyebrow at Kendall with a smirk on his face. "How hot is she?"
Kendall rolled his eyes and chuckled at his friends as Carlos and Logan still tried to grasp what Kendall had said, not really fully understanding it.
"No, I don't mean fall in love as in…"that girl is so hot, it's love". I mean…I-I really fell in love," Kendall stumbled out, a bit embarrassed, his cheeks flushed a bit.
His heart beat fast as he began to let out all the skeletons in his closet. James looked at Kendall with the same, disapproving face Logan did, Carlos with an upset face on. Kendall's heart dropped a bit when he saw his friends faces. He'd thought they would ask him all types of questions, and badger him about the girl that captured his heart, but so far, nothing yet. It was just silence.
"Love?" Carlos asked, with a raised eyebrow and small, squinted eyes, as if he had no idea what the word even meant.
Kendall nodded with a genuine smile, the first real one he had cracked since leaving Stella yesterday. He was in love, something none of his friends had really encountered, and he couldn't wait to tell them all about the amazing girl who had captured his heart, and their beautiful relationship which had blossomed in such a short amount of time. He couldn't wait to get it all off his chest.
He didn't realize how incredibly excited he actually was to tell Carlos, James and Logan about everything until they stood in front of him, very curious.
"Love," Kendall repeated with a small smile, his heart fluttering, his body getting warm at the mentioning of the word. James looked at Kendall for a few seconds, with a first surprised, questioning and then wide eyed look, clapping his hands together, pointing at him with a sly, smile.
"Dude! You lost your virginity, didn't you!" he asked him raucously, as if he had guessed the $100,000 question. The thought made Logan perk his head to the side with wide eyes, and a furrowed brow. Kendall's eyes went wide and he looked at his best friends, Carlos totally lost, but still eager to know the questions answer.
"Well, I-I don't-I-u-uh…," Kendall stumbled out nervously, swallowing hard. His insides radiated with the remembrance of Stella's warm, soft skin, her long legs, and thin waist, his smile peeking out from his face.
"Yeah," he chuckled out, scratching the back of his neck a bit nervously. Logan looked at Kendall with squinted, surprised eyes, Carlos let out an entertained chuckle, and James came to Kendall's side and patted him on the back with a radiant, proud smile on his face, still standing on the white snow.
"Welcome to the club, Kendall my man, where the anthem is no longer "Ridin' Solo"," James laughed out, as Kendall looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling his eyes. Of course James would say something incredibly stupid like that, totally insensitive to the other boys. Carlos perked up a bit at the revelation, not disapprovingly.
"You really…aren't a virgin anymore?" he asked confused, a bit surprised. Kendall bit his lip and nodded his head no with a small chuckle, as Logan gave him the same, unwavering disapproving look he had started with. Now it was split right down the middle. Virgin Mary Carlos and Logan vs. sex gods Kendall and James.
"You had sex with a girl…you met on vacation?" Logan asked him cynically, his voice patronizingly geared. Kendall looked at Logan a bit perturbed by his comment, James' arm still around his shoulders hugging him tightly.
The way Logan spoke was like he was ashamed of Kendall. He equated it to how his mother would sound if he had told her about it, which he would never do. Of course that tone would come along with some light tears, and Mrs. Knight crying about how Kendall wasn't her little boy anymore, but still. It was that authorative, condescending; 'I know better than you' tone Kendall absolutely hated coming from anyone…anyone who wasn't his father.
"Well, I told you Logie, I love her. I fell in love with this amazing, perfect girl," Kendall spoke softly, as if he was in some mediocre teenage girl movie about first kisses. Logan chuckled a bit arrogantly at Kendall and shook his head.
"Kendall, you can't fall in love in a week. It's not logical. It's impossible, even if you did meet her the second you walked onto the property," said Logan as if it was some sort of math problem. Kendall looked at him a bit confused, his heart beating faster, his blood boiling a bit.
"But I-"
"Oh, it's not real love Logie," James so grandly interrupted. "I mean come on, look at this face," James said, taking Kendall's chin in his hand with smirk. "This is the face of a man. Of course he thinks he's in love! It's the only way to get a girl into bed. The magic 'L' word is the key to boot-ay, not that you two dorks would know," James said jokingly. Kendall hit James' arms off of him a little angry as Carlos remained quiet about the situation.
"I didn't tell her I loved her just to get some. I seriously love her," Kendall exclaimed adamantly, his heart beating even faster, his anger rising, eyebrows furrowing beneath his beanie.
"I just don't see how you could fall in love with a girl when you barely know her, Kendall. And then to have sex with her?" Logan asked, a little disgusted by the idea of it. Kendall and Logan had always shared the same concern for James, how he never really understood what love was, and how sometimes, he had bouts of loneliness that sent him spiraling into random, short lives bouts of depression. And now, Logan felt as if Kendall was going to go through the same thing with this "love" he had with this random, mystery girl.
"Oh Logie, you don't need to be in love to have sex. Sex is—sex. That's all there is to it, I'm sure Kendall understands," James said proudly patting him on the back once more. Kendall's fists were balled up at his sides, his heart pumping rapidly. He closed his eyes and felt the cold ice beneath him. It felt like he was in Thief River Falls, when he had attacked Alex on the ice. He was getting very angry, very fast. How could his friends act like this?
All three boys didn't believe him for a word he said, all with different faces, all judging him silently.
Kendall looked at his friends with a definitive eyebrow, his breathing heavy.
"So you guys…just don't believe me?" Kendall asked with an attitude, raised eyebrow and extended lower lip. The three boys' faces all registered a bit scared at Kendall's expression, Carlos, stepping back on the soft snow, sensing it in the blonde's eyes.
He saw it. But he was the only one.
Logan and James looked at each other and sighed, Logan looking at Kendall straight in the eyes, a bit nervous, but strong willed.
"Well, it's just a little…odd that you come back from back from vacation, and you're in love, and having sex with this girl you met like…what, five days ago?" Logan spoke, an always right, patronizing tone underlying in his words. Kendall licked his teeth in anger and took a deep breath, skating back a bit on the ice, as all three boys still stood on the snow with their boots.
"She's not just some girl, Logan. She's beautiful, she's perfect," Kendall said, his words laced with the tiniest bit of venom. Kendall had to hold himself back. Logan was just being Logan. Carlos remained quiet as James just didn't seem to take Kendall seriously at all, not taking a hint.
"So is Megan Fox, and while I'd love to fuck her, I'm not in love with her," James interjected with a heinous laugh, on that seemed to flip the start button into the full upright position on Kendall's anger. Kendall knew James was just talking out of fun, teasing him, but Kendall was really starting to get annoyed with James, and Carlos and Logan as well. They didn't even know Stella, and now they were comparing her to some disgusting, whore of a female celebrity and telling him that he wasn't in love.
"Stella isn't like that," Kendall started off with a clenched jaw, but was cut off with another laugh from James. Kendall averted his eyes to Carlos who shot the pretty boy a dirty look, and Logan who had taken Carlos' approach and just remained quiet. The second Kendall's jaw had clenched, his eyes widened, while James' dug himself deeper and deeper into a hole.
He saw it.
"Stella? Seriously?" he chuckled. "Kendall, are you dating a stripper?" James asked with a serious, but playful face. Kendall swallowed hard, his eyes wide, as Logan and Carlos watched him, their own eyes widening. Kendall cocked his head to the side a bit, as James looked at him with nervous hazel eyes.
"Don't ever fucking talk about her like that again, James," he yelled at his best friend. "I beat the shit out of the last guy who did," Kendall said gruffly, his voice poisonous, as he skated a bit closer to where James was on the edge of the pond. A light went off the boys' head, as they looked at Kendall's injuries. He had gotten into some type of brawl with someone over this Stella girl.
Kendall's eyes were alit with a red fire, making his green eyes seem yellow, his fists balled up at his sides, knuckles white, his arms clamped to his sides, as if he was doing everything possible not to take a swing at his best friend's beautiful face.
James didn't understand. He had lived a lifestyle of sleeping with beautiful, gorgeous girls and never even noticing them again in the hallways of the school, not that most of them even cared. While only a sophomore, James' stood as a 5'11, sixteen year old hunk, a starter on the Duluth High hockey team, and had a reputation of a ladies' man, he so cleverly hid from his regimented, mistake making parents.
James had slept with a few of the sluttier girls in the boys' sophomore class, and a few of the junior girls. It wasn't like James was stupid, he was always safe, but somehow he seemed to get more tail than any of the seniors combined, and while slightly jealous, they did praise him for it. It was probably due to his usually cocky attitude, his beautiful, shiny brown hair, deep hazel eyes and killer body. He was Mr. Perfect, and it seemed all the girls wanted at least one shot with THE James Diamond, even if he was a sophomore.
James never had a real, meaningful girlfriend before, only sexual conquests at parties and when his parents went away for weekends, so while being the most sexually active sophomore Duluth had ever seen, deep down inside, James had his bouts of loneliness, and Kendall couldn't expect him to understand about him and Stella at all. The boy had no concept of love and meaningful relationship whatsoever, and all four knew it and were a bit concerned at times, even if James' hadn't caught on yet.
Logan stepped up to play peacemaker and nervously chuckled, as James' backed away a bit from the blonde.
"Kendall, relax, there is no need to threaten him, it's James," Logan said lightly, trying to smooth things over. But Kendall looked in the smart boy's eyes, staring daggers. Logan knew that look instantly. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest, his body tensed up. Kendall was unpredictable at this stage.
"Shut up, Logan. You don't believe me either," Kendall barked at him, pointing in his face aggressively, Kendall's face getting hot, as Carlos backed up a bit more, not even wanting to be a part of the conversation. Logan swallowed hard, Kendall's chest expanding rapidly, his finger shaking in the smart boy's face. James looked into Kendall's eyes, watching his chest rise and fall, his breaths hitching
He saw it.
"Just…calm down buddy, I was just kidding," James' said a bit afraid, holding his hands out in front of him, as Kendall took a sharp turn on his skates towards him, his breathing heavy, his face red.
"I thought at least my best friends would understand, but I guess I was wrong again," Kendall mumbled out angrily through loud breaths, taking his finger from Logan's face and sighing deeply, his angry face now a bit more calm. Kendall shook his head upset, his breathing heavy, as he bit his lower lip, unsure of how to react to his friends now.
They didn't want to know about Stella. They didn't believe him.
Kendall's friends were the one thing the boy could count on. But not anymore.
"I'm leaving," Kendall said softly, his voice seeming to disintegrate with each syllable, as he turned on his skates, and avidly skated over to his hockey bag on the other side of the pond. The three boys watched him confused, all looking at each other with wide eyes.
Carlos stepped forward a bit, biting his lip, James' looking at Logan and Logan looking at Kendall on the side of the pond in the distance, taking off his skates quickly. The three boys then all looked at each other with stale, concerned, solemn faces, a common nuisance hanging above their heads as thick as the snow clouds in Minnesota.
"It's back," Carlos spoke softly.
Dear Stella,
I'm sitting here in my room, on my bed looking out the window at the stars, and missing you a lot, especially with all your witty comments. I would love to make this some romantic, amazing, love letter, but I don't think I can, because while I can write songs for you, letters are a completely different story and I'm not too great at English. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my dad, and this whole therapy thing my mom wants me to do, and it's just really been getting to me, especially since you're not here with me, to hold my hand, or look up at the stars with (which are super bright lately). I miss you, and I really can't wait to hear from you to make sure that you are doing alright and that you-
Knock. Knock.
Kendall looked up from the loose leaf he had been writing on extra neatly, the fifth draft of his letter to Stella, when he looked at his door with a nervous face.
"Kendall, can I come in?" Kim asked softly with a cautious voice. Kendall hurriedly pulled up the sheet that draped over his bed, stashed the loose leaf and the binder he leaned on below it, and put the sheet back down, concealing it well.
"Uh, yeah. Come in," Kendall said loudly, adjusting his gaze to the window that lay flush against his bed.
Kim opened the door to her son's attic room, looking at him as he lay on his bed, looking out the window at the stars depressed. Kim looked around her son's "man cave". He of course had his guitar in the corner, a fifteenth birthday present from his father, a television with some sort of old gaming system Kim had no idea what it was, his hockey gear and duffle chucked in the corner, next to an open, mess of a closet holding mostly plaid shirts and skate shoes and finally, a wood desk, stacked with tons of papers, his schoolbag and a ton of homework he hadn't even touched.
Kim sighed and sat on Kendall's midnight blue comforter, making his bed sag a bit, as he pulled his legs closer to him, allowing more room for his mother to sit. Kim moved up more with a smile, resting her hand on Kendall's lower leg, as the two exchanged looks.
Kim couldn't lie. Sometimes, it hurt to look Kendall in the eyes. The fact that his eyes were the same gorgeous, sage green that made her fall in love with her husband in the first place. He had the same prominent chin, and dark eyebrows. He had Kris' dirty blonde hair, his bone structure, and nose. The only thing Kendall had of hers were his long, lean fingers, and his adorable dimples. She sighed deeply as Kendall looked at her with a small smile. Things had been a bit better between them since their big blow up at the Tregger's.
"How was your day with the boys?" she asked quite happily, hoping it would lead to conversation.
Kendall hadn't told his mom of their fight. As soon as Kendall had announced he was leaving at the pond, after the boys' comments, the three of them just stood there, not even coming after him or trying to talk to him. They just let him leave, no questions asked, which hurt Kendall the most. Not wanting to go straight back home, Kendall went to Bradley Park, just around the corner from the pond, and sat on the snowy swing set for an hour, just thinking about Stella, his friends, and of course his father.
He couldn't believe his friends had acted like that. I mean James was just James, and Logan was just being Logan, Carlos being—well, not usually Carlos, but still. He had been greatly upset by the fact that his three best friends didn't believe him, and basically mocked him for what he had done. I mean sure, he hadn't been in much touch with them over vacation but that didn't mean they were just allowed to make rude comments about a girl they didn't even know, and have the right to tell him whether he was in love or not.
Kendall felt a bit betrayed by his three best friends. And now, there was some sort of depression clogging his mind. If his friends didn't want to hear about Stella, and he couldn't tell anyone else about her, who would be there for him? Who would be able to tell him not to worry about his letters getting lost in the mail, or waiting for a letter back, or that Stella would be safe up there alone? He had no one to ease all his fears, something he had been looking for since the moment he had left her, in his best friends. He figured his three best friends since pee wee hockey days would be the ones to let him believe in love, and let him be happy. But he had no one to go to. Not even a father.
It made Kendall want to cry.
"Kendall?" Kim asked softly, touching his leg affectionately. Kendall looked up and cleared his throat, his eyes heavy with sadness, which Kim caught instantly. Something was wrong. She knew from the moment she had talked to Kendall when he had gotten home that something was off. He had just gone up to his room, without really saying a word to Katie or herself, when they both asked him how the guys' were doing. Even if she wasn't incredibly close with Kendall, she could tell in an instant when his green eyes lost their flickers of yellow.
"Hmm?" Kendall asked his mother, obviously preoccupied by his usual, sad thoughts.
"What's wrong, baby? You seem upset," Kim asked her son, moving closer to him with sad blue eyes. She was trying her best everyday to work with Kendall. It hadn't been easy since Kris had died, and while never really extremely close to her son, she felt that when Kris had died, Kendall and she had moved apart miles on a map, like from Minnesota to California.
"I'm fine," he lied miserably, turning his gaze out to the window.
As his eyes looked over the stars, and he took a deep breath in, closing his eyes, wondering if Stella was on the rooftop deck of the Tregger's, looking at those same stars right now. It was a way they could feel connected, by the one thing Kendall was sure Stella would always keep true to her heart. Her guardians.
"Are you sure?" Kim asked him again, her blue eyes begging her son to just open up, and tell what was bothering him.
While Kendall didn't want to bring up Stella to his mother, or let her know at all what was going on between the two, he wondered if he should bring her up as Kacey. Maybe his mother would feel bad for his sore heart, knowing that he missed this beautiful blonde that had been so smitten with him and his family, but she also may ask a lot of questions, and Kendall wasn't sure how far he could actually go in a lie.
"Yeah, I'm sure," Kendall said with a fake smile, trying the best he could to fool his mother, which he knew was no use. Kim squeezed his thigh gently and nodded, biting her lower lip, her heart dropping. It killed her that Kendall didn't talk to her, but she wasn't going to force him, especially not after he had agreed to the therapy. She leaned over, pushed his shaggy blonde bangs from his face and rested her lips to his forehead, taking in her son's own scent, closing her eyes tightly, avoiding tears successfully.
"I'm always here for you, Kenny," she said softly, her voice cracking a bit at the end of the old nickname he had insisted he outgrew at the age of four. Kendall smiled and chuckled a bit at his mother words, and looked up at her soft, aged, wisdom filled blue sparkling eyes with a large smile.
"I love you, mom," he said with a sly smile. Kim smiled widely, her heart rising up inside, as she took a deep breath, and stood up from Kendall's bed walking across the carpeted room to the door, feeling confident and happy with their exchange for now.
Kendall made his way down to the breakfast table the next morning, having woken up with a barrage of "We need to talk," "I'm sorry," and "Dude, come on, answer me?" texts from Logan, James and Carlos respectively, still not truly ready to face them.
As he sat down at the table, rubbing his bed-ridden eyes, he noticed his mom laughing jubilantly on the phone, doing that amazingly motherly skill of holding the phone between her shoulder and ear, while using both hands to cook her famous scrambled eggs for Katie for breakfast.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later, Jenny. Bye," Kim said chuckling, mixing the almost done eggs with a pink plastic spatula. She took the phone from her ear, hung it up with one hand and placed it down on the counter. Kendall's head had perked up the second she had said Jenny.
"Do you want some eggs, Kendall?" she asked, turning around from the stove to face him with a smile, knowing they were his absolute favorite. Kendall ignored her question completely, rubbing his bangs from his eyes anxiously.
"That was Jenny?" he asked restlessly. Kim chuckled and turned her attention back to the eggs, finishing them up.
"Yeah, why so curious?" she asked with a curious tone of voice, chuckling at her son. Kendall swallowed hard. Any connection to Stella was a good one.
"I don't know, just wondering how Bryan and the Tregger's are doing," Kendall lied through his teeth, chuckling a bit. Kim chuckled as she brought the eggs over to the counter opposite the stove, and scraped them out into two separate plates, one for Katie and one for Kendall.
"Well, they're alright. Bryan is on alright terms with Alex just to let you know, and Jenny is pretty busy helping her brother move in," Kim said, throwing the now empty saucepan and spatula in the sink, but not before taking a small amount of egg with her fingers and dropping it into her mouth. Kendall looked up at his mother confused as she called Katie from the living room for breakfast, getting utensils out of the drawer in front of her.
"Wait, Jenny's brother is moving into the house? I thought he was getting married? And isn't he like a near billionaire? He can't afford his own house?" Kendall asked with a chuckle. Kim sighed and walked towards Kendall with two plates of delicious scrambled eggs in her hands.
"No. He's moving into the vacant house next door, silly," Kim said, sliding the eggs in front of her son.
Kendall's entire body froze, the second the words came out of his mother's mouth. He looked down at the plate of breakfast in front of him, his heart beating tenfold.
Suddenly, Kendall wasn't so hungry anymore.