AN: Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to post this. I just didn't feel too motivated to write this, and I'm not completely happy with it. But i'm sick of looking at it, so I'm posting it anyway. haha. Anyway, in better news, I definitely will write a sequel to this, and i have like 19 pages of potential scenes. YAY. Thank you for your feedback and feel free to message me with any ideas that you would like to see in it.

I also want to give a huge thank you to my loyal readers. You have no idea how much your feedback means to me! You are part of the reason I keep writing these stories. THANK YOU!

FL 6

Chapter 9 –Rapunzel vs. Maximus

"He made the world to be a grassy road before her wandering feet."

-W.B. Yeats

The next morning, I woke up to the most annoying, most aggravating wake-up call: Drops of horse spit on my cheek. I cracked an eye open to see who had rudely awakened me. It was that crazy horse again. "Well," I said self-righteously. "I hope you're here to apologize."

Oh, he wasn't in the slightest: he immediately dragged me away by my boot. "AHHHH!" I screeched in protest, as my body dragged on the ground.

Soon I saw Rapunzel bolt up and chase after us. She immediately grabbed my arms and tried to pull me away from that crazy horse. "Give (grunt) me (grunt) him (grunt) back!" she demanded, as she pulled with all her might. And would you believe she succeeded? She managed to get me away from it, though I lost my boot and almost landed on my head when we both fell away from him. Thankfully, I didn't actually land on my head and lose any of my brilliant brain cells.

However, the horse started to chase after us again, not satisfied with having my shoe. Rapunzel immediately bounded up, and attempted to calm Crazy Horse down. "Whoa! Whoa!" she said over and over, bravely putting herself between me and the horse. Finally the horse listened to her. Unbelievable. "That's it," she said sweetly to the horse when he stopped lunging at me. "Now sit," she ordered. What, was Crazy Horse suddenly a dog? I'd never seen any horse obey such a request, and I doubt that I'd see him do it now. He sure hadn't listened to me when I told him to do anything. And I was incredibly persuasive. So I doubted it would be any different for her.

And I was right because he refused to. Ha. I knew it. "Sit," she repeated. That time he reluctantly sat on his haunches. I stared in shock. "What?"

"Now drop the boot," she commanded. He shook his head. "Drop it."

He dropped it. Rapunzel walked over and started stroking his nose gently, as if he deserved praise or something. In my opinion, he deserved a one-way ticket to horse hell. "Aw, you're such a good boy," she said. Okay, what's another synonym for unbelievable? Because I think I've used up my quota for that word.

Rapunzel continued to pet the horse."You tired from chasing that bad man all over the place?" she asked him.

Bad man? Me? Seriously? Since when was this whole thing my fault? "Excuse me?"

Unreal, now she was hugging the horse. "Nobody appreciates you, do they?" she asked. "Do they?"

Had she lost her mind, or had she forgotten that because of that stupid horse we almost drowned? "He's a bad horse!"

Rapunzel continued to stroke the horse-both with her hand and her words. "Oh, he's nothing but a big sweetheart!"

I felt the berries from yesterday start to come right back up. Sweetheart, my foot. Sweetheart implied that the subject was sweet, not somebody who chased innocent people all across kingdom come. Maybe my initial assumption that she was crazy was true after all….Because how else could she stand that horse?

"Isn't that right?" she said, as she rubbed under his jaw."Maximus?"

He started to whicker in complete pleasure. I crossed my arms across my chest in annoyance. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me." I couldn't believe that she was being so nice to that stupid horse whose goal in life was to torture me.

"Look," she said to Maximus. "Today is kind of the biggest day of my life, and the thing is…." She walked over to me and gently pulled me unto my feet. I tried to ignore how much I enjoyed her touching my arm again.

"I need you to not get him arrested," she continued. Now she's talking! You tell that horse to say far, far away from me. Forever.

"Just for twenty-four hours!" she said. Oh. That was not even close to forever.

"And then you can chase each other to your heart's content, okay?"It wasn't. I didn't particularly relish the idea of another chase with Crazy Horse here, but I knew I had to agree. It was her birthday after all. I sighed, then stuck my hand for Maximus (please!) to shake.

He just looked away. Apparently this alliance disgusted him as much as me. Well, if I was going to degrade myself he better do it too. Come on, horse, agree.

"And it's also my birthday," she informed Maximus. "Just so you know." He let out a big sigh, and then reached out his hoof for me to shake. I did, even though I'd much rather not.

However, it was soon clear that he was two-faced, as long as having two horns. As soon as Rapunzel turned her back and walked away from us, the horse kicked me in the side with his hoof. Bloody cheater! I immediately fell to the ground.

"So, Eugene," I heard Rapunzel say. "What should we do…" She turned around, and her eyes instantly took in the scene. She walked back over to us and started stroking his nose again, like he was the one who had gotten some kind of kick in the side. "Now, none of that," she scolded. "You made an agreement, remember? And a magnanimous horse like you always keeps his agreement."

I couldn't resist making a few….sick noises as I stood up. A magnanimous horse! That definition must have changed since I'd learned it. Because I had thought it meant somebody who was generous or gracious. Not somebody who kicked somebody.

Rapunzel only rolled her eyes. "Now, look," she told both of us sternly. "I can't keep my eyes on you every second. But Pascal can, and if you don't behave, I'll tell him to do something to you. And I can guarantee that you won't like it. So, can you please act civil?"

As soon as she said "Pascal" , I felt slighly nervous. I clearly remembered the feel of his tongue in my ear, and I cringed just thinking about it. "Oh, all right!" I agreed. "But Max here started it!"

Her eyes flashed. "I can tell you right now that I don't care who started it, and Pascal won't either," she said. "Now will you please stop this so I can enjoy my birthday?"

Maximus whickered. Her birthday…..I couldn't ruin her special day, not over a fool horse. "Oh, all right!" I said again.

She smiled once more. "Great! So can we go see the capital now, because I've never seen it and I've always…"

I laughed slightly at her enthusiasm. "You know, Blondie, ordinarily I wouldn't say this. But since it's your birthday, we can go see whatever you want."

"Thank you," she said gratefully. "And I'd like to see anything you would like to show me too."

I smirked smugly. "Oh, well, you'll be in for a treat. Flynn Rider haunts all the best spots." Maybe if we would have time I'd show her the Red Dragon, the best pub in Caermoor. Besides that, maybe….maybe it'd make up a little for the Snuggly Duckling. The only thing that the two had in common was that they were both pubs. She smiled as soon as I had smirked again, but I wasn't sure if that was because she liked my smirk or because she was excited about her birthday. Somehow I doubted it was the former; she was too obsessed with those floating lights to start returning my attraction. Besides, the only thing I wanted out of our relationship was my satchel, right?

Right.

Now I just had to convince myself of that.

XXXXXXXXXX

So, I really don't think I could adequately describe to you what happened next. Because I'm not sure how exactly it happened, but somehow Rapunzel's frog managed to get on me. And started licking me all over and sticking his tongue in my ear, and how Rapunzel ignored it for as long as she did …is kind of a miracle.

Of course, I know now that it was the furthest thing from a miracle, but rather that Gothel gave her the satchel the night before, and she told Pascal to torture….I mean, keep me occupied for a few minutes so she could hide it in Maximus' saddlebags. Because she didn't want me to see it, believing Gothel that I would abandon her if I knew that she had it. And she didn't want me to, because she thought I was the most amazing, most wonderful, most handsome, most clever, most charming….man she had ever met. Did you just say I had been the only man she had ever met? Oh good lord. Why am I wasting all this time on you when you don't even appreciate it? Or me, for that matter? Don't you know that I'm the one who brought back your princess?

Ahem. Anyway, I didn't know any of that then. All I knew is that her stupid frog was all over me. So I started to shout over and over "Get-off-me!" And once I saw her, I started shouting "Get-him-off-me!" instead.

She somehow found it all oddly amusing, and started hysterically laughing. "All right, all right, that's enough, Pascal."

I don't mind telling you that I was completely infuriated then. First I had to put up Crazy Horse's antics, and then I had to put up with Freaky Frog. "How can you stand that…that creature?" I snarled at her.

She put on her best innocent expression. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "Pascal never acts that way around me."

My eyes still flashed angrily, and being the observant girl that she was, she noticed. "Look, I know you're…not pleased with either of our…uh…animal companions," she said. Animal….companions? Companion implies that there's some kind of understanding or camaraderie between people, and there was absolutely none here. Shouldn't she say animal pests? "But can we please walk to the city now?"

I sighed, aggravated. "Fine," I told her. "Capital's this way." She started to follow me agreeably, but I couldn't help vent some of my frustration about both Pascal and Maximus. "Blasted worthless animals!" I muttered hotly. "They don't know their place in life."

XXXXXXXXXX

I know Rapunzel usually says that the walk passed pleasantly for her, but didn't for me. And that's actually fairly true. It takes a lot to get me all riled up, and it takes me a while to cool down sometimes. Such was the case in the whole Pascal/Maximus scenario. I walked in stony silence for most of the time, but once we reached the city, I perked up and started telling Rapunzel all about my successful jobs in the city. Of course, being the sweetheart that she was, she listened patiently, but on the fortieth story, she informed me that it would be "prudent" (her word, of course, not mine. I don't go around using words like "prudent." It's just not prudent to me) to not talk a lot about that, unless I would like to be captured by the guards. "The stories make you….quite conspicuous," she said. "Why don't you be Eugene today?"

Be Eugene today….my foot. I scoffed at her, and began to say something like why would I want to be Eugene when Flynn was so much more dashing. But she cut me off and started making the cutest face. "For me?" she said. "It is my birthday after all." I sighed and reluctantly agreed to be Eugene for the day, even if I wasn't sure what being Eugene meant or entailed.

Shortly thereafter, we crossed over the bridge that led to Caermoor. The bells started to ring, and Rapunzel began to beam the hugest smile and her face clearly expressed all the excitement that she felt. And the thing was? I liked how easily she showed how her feelings, it was nice that what she said so lined up with what she felt- there was nothing two-faced about her. Without waiting for me, she ran into the city, completely overwhelmed with the wonder of the capital that she had never seen before. I began to follow her, but then I caught sight of one of my wanted posters…that still had my nose completely wrong. Figures. I crumpled it up in my hand, because for some stupid reason I didn't want her to see it (which was incredibly moronic of me because she already knew that I was a thief). Maximus stood next to me, and out of revenge, I shoved the poster in his mouth. He immediately spat it out onto my face.

I don't think I can fully express how completely sick that was, and how annoyed I became. So I shoved him in the side. He shoved me back. We would have continued, except Rapunzel's frog reminded us that we had promised to behave. So I gave him one final push and then followed Rapunzel into the city. She looked rapturously at the town, but when she walked further into the city, her hair was stepped on by the crowd. She attempted to bind it all up in her arms, but there was only so much she could carry herself.

Instantly (and without thinking), I rushed to her aid, and scooped up as much hair as I could. I didn't want her to be hurt or her hair either. It was just so pretty…and soft. She stared at me, and I could tell that she was looking to me to figure out some way out of her predicament- because obviously we couldn't carry her hair around all day. Suddenly, I saw four little girls sitting on a fountain, braiding each others hair expertly. Surely they could braid Rapunzel's, right? I whistled. "Hey!" I called to them. "How would you like to braid seventy feet of hair?"

Their eyes lit up. "Oh, we would love to!" the oldest said. Quickly, they say Rapunzel down, and began to braid her hair, and dismissed me brusquely, telling me that they would call me when they were done.

So, I must have sat around for an hour waiting for her, but I tried not to act too bored. Boredom swiftly ended, though, the moment that I saw some of the guards. I immediately ducked, but when I knew I was safe I looked back over at Rapunzel. And felt like I had been hit in the chest by Maximus again. I couldn't help it; she just looked…..simply beautiful. Her hair had been bound up in a long braid that twirled when she spun around, and woven in it was flowers.

She walked over to me, and I tried to stop feeling like somebody had sucked all the air out of my lungs. "So," she asked shyly. "Do you…..like my hair?"

I blinked. I wasn't sure how to respond- it was clear to me that underneath what she was saying was the question do you think I look pretty? And how could I answer that? "Your hair….uh…" She looked more than pretty; she looked beautiful, she looked gorgeous. In fact, she was a vision. She was a princess. "Yes…it's…uh…very nice." Oh, brilliant.

Her entire face lit up, as if I had actually said what was I thinking: that I'd never seen a prettier girl than her in all of Corona."Well, thank you," she said. "I don't know about you but I'm a little…hungry? Could we maybe eat….something?"

Food! How could I think about food now? I blinked once, then twice, trying to clear my head of the my crazy thoughts (that went something like this-She looks pretty, she looks really pretty, she looks really really pretty. Yes, it was embarrassing to me that those were my thoughts, because there's nothing particularly witty about them. Honestly, if I had heard somebody of my cleverness thought moronic things like that, I'd probably die laughing). Finally, I managed to think of something else other than the way her hair framed her face perfectly and how the flowers made her look both older and younger at the same time, in the best of ways. "Yes, we could," I told her. "But I'm a little short on money right now. And I told you I wouldn't use my five-finger discount today."

She just looked at me blankly and it was clear she had no idea what I was talking about. I laughed, and whispered "stealing" into her ear. You might wonder at this little exchange, but sure I could have swiped some food for us, but somehow with Rapunzel I couldn't do it. For two reasons really: One, because it was her birthday (somehow grabbing some apple or something for her and saying "here, this is for your birthday" seemed wrong), and two, she wouldn't want me to steal for her. She was just that honest a person.

She blinked."Oh, right," she said. "Well, don't you have any money somewhere else?"

I smirked. Money somewhere else, my foot. She's cute. Naïve, but cute. Of course I had money somewhere else: that was the whole point of me stealing. "Of course I do!"I told her. "I'm Flynn Rid-"

She shoved a hand over my mouth. "Shh!" she said. "Do you want everybody to hear that?" Why yes, actually, I would like people to know how amazing I am. "The guards could be on you in a minute!"

And I couldn't outrun them? I faked an expression of repentance, and she moved her hand away. Though she didn't look completely convinced.

"So what were you going to say?" she asked patiently.

I smirked again. "Well," I said. "I was about to say-before I was so rudely interrupted- that I have some money back at my place."

She beamed a smile. "Well, that's stupendous," she said, pleased.

"Buut," I told her. "The guards know where I live, and if I go there, they would be…." I paused, searching for the right words. "Now how did you say it? Oh yes, on me in a minute."

Her shoulders slumped for a minute while I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Then her expression brightened. "Well," she began hesitantly. "If you tell me where to go, I could get it for you." A scheming glint appeared in her eyes, one that I had seen on my own face many times. "I mean….they obviously aren't after me, right?"

"Well, that's true enough," I said. Then I laughed, thinking that I would think she couldn't surprise me anymore and then bam! She did. "You know something? You're all right, Blondie. Sure, I'll show you."

Actually, she was much more than all right- she was completely and utterly unbelievably smart, and beautiful. And wonderful.

Oh, boy. So much for my brilliant "I'm Mr. Rock" plan, right?