A/N: Okay, so I hope this chapter starts to tie up some loose ends in this story, and that you guys aren't totally thinking "huh? Where is she going with this?" But yeah, I hope you guys are enjoying this so far! We're fourteen weeks in, fifteen chapters, and this is indeed excellent :D I'm excited, because BIG things are going to start coming up. Think a Kogan friendship chapter in California next Saturday ;D With some cameos…and Stella and Kendall reunite soon...for a bit...I promise :D I hope y'all also like the way I'm writing the boys! I do!
But anyway, PLEASE enjoy this snippet from the wonderful waterwicca's story about Kendall and Sage, called Past The Sorrow:
Late in the night, Kendall and Sage followed their usual routine. He drove her home at the same time every night, but this time was different from all the others. Elliot's car was in the driveway… Sage's stepfather came outside as the two teenagers climbed out of the car and stepped onto the lawn.
"You're late… You missed dinner…" Elliot spoke with tight words at Sage when he stood beside them. They had no plans for dinner. They never did. Sage knew something bad was going to happen…
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time…" Kendall watched as the girl made an excuse. Her eyes lost their spark, and her voice lost every ounce of its power. Kendall felt uneasy to say the least.
"It was my fault…" Kendall jumped in to take the blame even though Sage had never mentioned even needing to be home, "… It won't happen again."
"I bet…" Elliot responded smugly, looking to his stepdaughter with a glare before turning to Kendall with a fake smile, "… Why don't you head home now? Your mother's probably waiting, right?" Elliot insisted with a raised brow, his muscular arms crossing in front of his large body.
"Well, probably, but-" Kendall started but Elliot had cut him off.
"Okay. Sage will call you whenever she can," Elliot spoke sternly and turned to walk toward the house but paused when he realized Sage wasn't following him like he had expected her to, "You coming, Sweetie?" Elliot used the term of endearment and laced it with enough venom to make Kendall's heart sink with a feeling he couldn't understand.
"Y-Yeah… Bye Kendall…" Sage gave her boyfriend a small smile and a short wave but he knew her well enough to realize something wasn't right. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were moving from his to the ground in rapid movements. Sage was hiding, but Kendall was having trouble figuring out why because she had never done it before. Why would she be fake with him?
"Bye. I love you…" Kendall smiled sweetly despite his anxiousness, hoping to raise her spirits. He could see the real her shine through the moment she heard him speak. She gave him a genuine smile, making his own body relax.
"I love you too-"
"Sage!" Elliot's voice cut through their connection as he called from the bottom of the porch steps.
Sage was gone again… Her eyes were down. Her smile faded almost instantly, and her shoulders were tense and rigid. She waved at Kendall once before stepping back a few times and turning away completely.
Kendall hesitated for a moment, watching Sage move toward Elliot, and then jumped into his car. He eased away from the curb slowly, feeling more reluctant than ever to leave. He drove down the road at a snail's pace, still feeling uneasy. Something was wrong, and he was struggling to figure it out.
Without thinking, Kendall moved his eyes to the review mirror even though he was sure there was nothing to see. However, he could see Elliot with his hand firmly planted on Sage's arm. She looked uncomfortable but wasn't really pulling away as Elliot spoke to her.
Kendall panicked… He didn't like the sudden feeling in his chest.
"He's just talking to her… Maybe he's just scolding her for being late…" Kendall spoke aloud to himself as he tore his eyes away and back toward the road. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and drove forward for a few more minutes, "… Mind your own business…"
Kendall stopped at an intersection and stared at the black asphalt that lay before him. The light was green, but he wasn't moving. His chest was tight and he couldn't shake it…
Something's wrong…
Something's wrong…
Something's wrong…
"Fuck it… Sage is my business," Kendall gave in to the feeling with a fierce determination and did an illegal turn through the empty intersection, heading back to Sage's house.
When he arrived, Elliot and Sage weren't on the lawn anymore. He jumped out of the car. As he approached the house, he could hear yelling… and then a crash. Kendall sprinted across the grass. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, the front door flew open.
Sage was standing there breathing heavily. Her shirt sleeve was torn and a nasty red mark marred her face.
She and Kendall stared at each other. Shock… Fear… Anger… They all ran through him so fast. Sage looked scared and broken. He just wanted to put her back together, but it felt like his feet were glued to the ground beneath him. His mind was racing, yet not working at all. He was trying to process everything… What's happening?
Sage finally spoke, her panic and surprise evident as she whispered.
"Kendall…"
Yup, you want to read more, right? Exactly. That's why you have to do it, NOW :D Believe me, you will NOT be disappointed at all! :)
And now, on with Hooked, which I hope that you read and review :D
I don't own anything except my OC's. I don't own Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift.
Chapter Fifteen: Only Human
After nearly three weeks of no responses from his runaway girlfriend, Kendall Knight was thrilled when he saw the postman leaf through the letters in his hand, and put some mail in the mailbox. The best part of Kendall Knight's day.
Kendall was peeling an orange at the kitchen counter, a large plate glass window overlooking the Knight's front yard, when he saw Mr. Shaffer, the old, friendly postman placed the letters into the mailbox by the Knight's garbage pails by the curb. Kendall nearly dropped the fruit on the floor, not bothering to sling a jacket on his shoulders as he busted out the door, running to the mailbox in the freezing cold. This had happened every day the past few weeks.
"You crazy, Kendall? It's barely ten degrees out here," the bundled up Mr. Shaffer said with a chuckle, stepping aside as the boy opened the mailbox and stuck his hand inside. His hands grabbed the mail tightly, and he yanked it out of the cold, metal mailbox and his smile grew wide. He had some feeling that finally after so much waiting, that the letter was going to come today.
This is what he had been waiting for. Contact with Stella. He finally wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. He'd know how much she was thinking about him, and how bad she wanted him to visit her, and kiss her.
He shakily sifted through the envelopes, passing some bills, coupons and other useless stuff when he got to the last letter.
It was worse than anything Kendall could've expected. He recognized the handwriting immediately. It was his own.
"R-return to sender?" he mumbled softly, reading the red text that had been so horribly stamped over the address to the General Store. The rest of the mail dropped from Kendall's hands on the icy asphalt beneath him, both hands holding the tattered envelope as his green eyes shut down, and his brows furrowed. He turned to Mr. Shaffer confused, the mailman standing by, wondering why Kendall had proceeded to run out here every day in the frigid cold.
"What's the matter kid? A college rejection letter or somethin' like that?" Mr. Shaffer said in a gruff voice, peeking over Kendall's shoulder at the envelope, and seeing the familiar "Return to Sender" stamp. Kendall licked his lips and turned to the mailman in disdain, with wide, soulful, confused green eyes, holding the letter in front of his face.
"W-what does this mean? Why did I get this back? This is my letter that I sent, not hers," Kendall told the old man angrily, as if it was his fault the letter had been sent back. Kendall's heart pumped against his ribcage rapidly, as if a firework had been released inside his chest.
"It means that the address you sent it to either wasn't valid, or that the person who you sent it to doesn't reside there anymore," Mr. Shaffer said casually, a bit taken aback at the boy's attitude. Kendall swallowed hard and looked down at the letter in awe. He had checked the address over a hundred times before he sent it. Kacey Roberts, 35 Main Street, Thief River Falls, MN 56701.
"B-but that doesn't make sense, this is the right address," Kendall said frantically, his eyebrows knitting as he ran a hand through his blonde hair, pushing his bangs back. "I don't, I—I don't understand," he mumbled in horrified awe.
"Sorry, kid. Maybe your girlfriend moved," Mr. Shaffer said in a melancholy tone of voice. Kendall stood frozen outside as Mr. Shaffer walked away to the neighboring house, going to deliver their mail.
A million and one thoughts went through Kendall's mind. Was Stella alright? Did someone find out she was a runaway and send her back to an orphanage? Was she in a hospital somewhere? Did she get put into foster care? Was she alive? Kendall sat down on the curb in the freezing cold, just in jeans in a t-shirt and brought his head down to his knees. He grasped the letter in his hand tightly, and let out a deep, labored breath.
"He didn't sound good on the phone," Carlos said worriedly, sticking his gloved hands into his pockets.
"I thought he texted you?" Logan asked confused. Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Logie. But you can tell when Kendall isn't Kendall. Especially now that he didn't get his letter he's been waiting weeks for back," Carlos spoke sadly, obviously sympathetic for their blonde friend.
Kendall had gone inside from the curb after ten minutes of just sitting there, not even having the heart to re-read the letter he had poured his heart out into. Something was wrong with Stella, and he needed to find out what it was. He had texted Carlos to come over right away, briefly explaining the situation as Kendall sat up in his room just thinking. Carlos in turn told Logan, and the boys decided together to drag James along. Kendall needed all three of his brothers right now.
Upon walking up the icy pathway to the Diamond's front door, Carlos and Logan exchanged looks of nervousness. It wasn't only Kendall that James was ignoring, but Carlos and Logan too. No one had talked to James since the fight two nights before. It had just been Carlos and Logan chatting it up at lunch, while James was off chasing girls, or practicing choir while Kendall sat there miserably at lunch, picking away at his food and sighing deeply.
Carlos knocked on the brown, oak door to the Diamond's house and breathed out a puff of fog from his mouth, rubbing his hands together to try to get warm. Logan gnawed on his bottom lip, as the door opened and Mr. Jason Diamond appeared with a friendly white smile, much like his son's.
"Hey guys, is James expecting you?" he asked lightheartedly, holding the door open for the boys. "Get in here, it's freezing outside," he said with a chuckle, his eyes soft and caring under black, thick framed glasses.
"Uh, no. Not really, Mr. Diamond," Logan said with a cordial, but nervous smile. The two boys took a few steps in the warm, carpeted living room. Jason closed the door behind them, Lucie anxiously coming from the kitchen with a big, red lipped smile.
"Boys! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" Lucie said gleefully, opening up her arms to her son's best friends. Carlos and Logan couldn't help but chuckle at what was about to happen, as Lucie took them both in a big hug, kissing both their cheeks, leaving a lipstick stain on each of their faces.
"Why do you always have to embarrass the poor kids, Lucie? They aren't here for you," Jason laughed heartily, walking into the adjacent kitchen where Lucie had been originally been. Carlos eagerly rubbed the lipstick off his face, as Logan did the same, Lucie looking at the boys a bit surprised.
"Aren't we missing one?" Lucie said with a furrowed brow, as if her eyes subconsciously scoped out for the tall blonde with the bushy eyebrows. Carlos and Logan exchanged sad, disappointed glances and Lucie nodded and swallowed hard, understanding that James and Kendall still weren't talking.
"What are you guys doing here?"
Logan, Carlos and Lucie all looked up at James, who was coming down the stairs, dressed in sweatpants and a black wife beater. His hair, still perfectly done, looked a bit less shiny, his nose still a bit bruised but not swollen. Logan and Carlos turned to their friend, and Lucie smiled.
"Do you boys want some lemonade? Or water?" she asked with a bright, lipstick smile. Carlos was about to put his hand up, ready to demand lemonade, as Logan shoved it down, licking his lips with an affirmative head nod and half smile.
"Thanks Mrs. Diamond, but we are actually on our way to Kendall's house," Logan said politely Carlos scoffing at the smart boy, both friends now looking up at James. James looked down at his mother and widened his eyes and subtly nodded his head to the kitchen, Lucie getting the clue as she chuckled nervously.
"Well, if you boys need anything, don't hesitate to ask," she said brightly, her French accent heavier than usual today. She turned around and left the living room going into the kitchen as James stepped down a few more steps, Carlos and Logan backing up.
"So you're uh—going over to Kendall's?" James asked unsurely, fidgeting with the string on his sweatpants, still a few steps from the ground.
"Yeah…he uh, got a letter back today," Logan said softly with sad eyes. James looked up at Logan with a glimmer in his eye, quite surprised at his comment.
"Oh. So she actually responded?" James asked, a bit of relief in his voice. Even if he didn't believe in this whole Kendall, Stella thing, James knew Kendall did, and for his own sake, and all of Kendall's issues, he hoped something went right in the boy's life, even if it did prove him wrong.
"Uh not…exactly," Carlos spoke out, scrunching up his face like a little kid. James looked at the pair confused, and Logan sighed deeply, his eyes drooping, his lips thin.
"His letter came back. Stella isn't at the general store anymore," Logan reported sadly and somberly, James face sagging a bit. He took another step down the stairs, his hand resting against the wall, under a picture of himself from middle school.
"So where is she?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. Logan and Carlos shrugged and all three boys just for a second felt a conjugal sense of pain, and desperation.
"Jeez. He's probably a wreck," James spoke out, with not an ounce of his usual "I told you so" attitude peeking through. Logan and Carlos were a bit surprised at his comment as James licked his lips and sighed deeply.
"Yeah, he's not doing so good," Logan spoke softly, Carlos sighing upset. James looked at his two best friends with an upset, guilty expression on his face. Truth is, he wanted to apologize to Kendall. He needed to. James didn't stay mad at anyone for very long, even if it was his best friend who punched him the face. Even if James didn't fully understand what was going on Kendall Knight's head, he needed to be there for his best friend. He wanted to be there for his best friend. It was something the four had promised each other way back to their pee wee hockey days.
"Give me like ten minutes to change," James said with an assertive tone, turning his back to them and jogging up the stairs. Logan smiled happily, and Carlos immediately sighed deeply in excitement and began to stroll over to the kitchen with a proud smile on his face.
"Mrs. Diamond? Can I have a glass of lemonade?"
Fifteen minutes later, after James had gotten his hair shiny again, thrown on more suitable clothes, and Carlos had downed two lemonades and two French cookies from Lucie, the three boys jumped into James tiny little green Honda, and allowed the car to heat up in the Diamond's driveway.
"Jesus, James. It's like a frickin' igloo in here. Don't you have heat?" Logan asked, clutching to himself in the passenger's seat, watching as James adjusted the flimsy knobs on the console of the car. To say James' car was anything less than crap would be accurate. The boy desperately needed to fix his forest green Honda up, seeing as that the car was older than him.
"Give it a second to warm up, Logie," James said in a relaxed tone of voice, fiddling with the buttons on the stereo. Logan breathed out, puffs of fog exhaling from his bluish lips as he shook his head and thinned his lip disapprovingly.
"I can see my own breath," he chuckled out angrily, raising his hand to motion it and letting it fall on his thigh, as Carlos rested both hands on the headrests with a confused look.
"Why are we even driving there? Kendall's house is like ten minutes away by walk. By the time the car heats up, we'll already be there," Carlos said with a scrunched up face, buckling his seatbelt.
James chuckled and looked at his two friends, rolling his eyes. "Because, why walk when we have my awesome car to go there with? Besides, it's freezing out there," James spoke, turning up the heat even more.
"It's freezing in here too!" Logan exclaimed in a high voice turning to James, buckling up. Carlos sat back in the car with his arms crossed and rolled his eyes as James reached down to fasten his own seatbelt, going to the gear, and putting it in reverse.
"We're going, relax," James spoke, as he threw his arm around Logan's headrest, made sure there were no cars and backed out of the driveway. There was a bit of silence as James made his way over the bumps and cracks and ice in the road, the old '94 clattering from windows to tires over each of them. There was silence for a few seconds before Carlos broke it.
"Do you guys think that Stella is alright?"
Logan sighed and James said nothing, concentrating on driving, leaving Logan to answer the question. The smart boy knew all the statistics of runaways, and knew that Stella was probably in an orphanage by now, or sleeping on a bus stop in frigid weather…if she was lucky.
"I don't know Carlos. I mean, maybe she's back in an orphanage where she is safe or something," Logan said carelessly, staring out the window, not wanting to answer it. Carlos licked his lips, knowing that Logan wasn't really too into answering the question, and he wouldn't push James for an answer. He sighed as James stopped at a stoplight and sighed, drumming his gloved hands on the steering wheel. The sound of static-y radio flew through the car.
"I don't think they're in love," Carlos said point blank. James stopped the car at the stop sign a bit violently, and Logan swallowed hard. Carlos looked out the window with a sad, distraught face on, neither of the boys in the front of the car responding. James swallowed hard and looked over at Logan who was trying his best to avoid any talk on the subject of Kendall or Stella.
"Me either," James spoke out, as he looked both ways crossing the street, and continued to drive. Logan licked his lips and swallowed hard, as if the two boys in the car were just waiting for the smart boy to answer.
"Me either," Logan croaked out. It's as if the whole atmosphere in the car had shifted dramatically with Carlos' question. The boys had talked briefly about how they didn't really believe in Stella and Kendall's love, but Carlos' statement was blunt and straight to the point.
It was the first time all three boys outrightly acknowledged the fact they believed Kendall Knight was killing himself over something that wasn't even true love…in their eyes.
"But we have to be there for Kendall. We have to make sure we can understand him without getting our own thoughts in our heads. We can't talk him out of being "in love" with Stella, cause God knows he won't listen," Logan said, motioning his hand out to James, in which all the boys gave a small chuckle. The tension in the car seemed to relax a bit, as the boys saw Kendall's house in the distance.
"Do you think…he's angry?" Carlos asked in a small voice, a bit nervous, knowing how the boy reacted when he was. James sighed, and decided to let Logan off the hook for answering questions.
"I think he's just upset. But as long as we're there for him, we'll cheer him up in no time. Maybe he just needs to talk to someone," James said optimistically, eyes on the road.
"Maybe he just needs to sing a bit," Carlos said with a jubilant smile. Logan turned around in his seat and looked at Carlos with a confused and wide eyed expression.
"Huh?"
Carlos smiled at his best friend and nodded his eyes alive with emotion. "I went by Kendall's yesterday and he was playing guitar, and I asked him to sing and play this song he wrote for Stella for me, and he did, and it was amazing!" Carlos said with a chuckle, as James pulled to the curb right by Kendall's house, where the boy had been sitting just an hour or so earlier.
"Kendall…sings?" Logan asked quizzically. Carlos nodded raising his eyebrows and rolled his eyes.
"Come on, Logan. Remember when we went to the cemetery, and he was singing that Counting Crows song, and we were all in awe that he had a voice!" Carlos declared animatedly. Logan thought back and nodded and James chuckled.
"Yeah, I remember. He does have a pretty good voice," James said, turning the key in the ignition, shutting the car off. He turned to his friends and Logan looked back at Carlos and James with a weird, confused smirk.
"How come he never sang in front of us before?" he asked the car in confusion, seemingly forgetting the conversation the boys had at the gravesite. James shrugged and Carlos sighed deeply.
"I think it was because his dad got him into singing, and I mean you know Kendall. He's a pretty shy person," Carlos said. Logan nodded and sighed, turning back in his seat as James sighed deeply.
"Ready, boys?" James said with a half-hearted smirk. Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Finally, the frickin' igloo gets warm and you want me to go outside again," he groaned out. Carlos and James laughed at the boy, Logan chuckling himself as the three boys unbuckled their seatbelts, got out of the car and headed up to the Knight's front door.
Mrs. Knight and Katie weren't home yet from work and school respectively, so when Carlos knocked on the door, all three boys expected Kendall to answer. They heard the boy rush down the stairs, and when they heard the lock turn in the door, they didn't know what they would be met with. Would Kendall be angry? Would he be alright? Would he be normal?
As the door unveiled their blonde friend, Carlos, James and Logan instantly felt a joint sympathy for Kendall, like they had back at James' house for that moment.
His eyes were red and puffy, his hair astrew, and he looked defeated, something the boys had only seen when his father had died. They had never seen Kendall Knight break down so many times in their lives as they had seen these past few weeks.
"You okay, man?" Logan asked Kendall softly. Kendall wiped his eyes and put on his best smile with a small chuckle, which instantly faded.
"You brought the whole crew, huh Carlos?" Kendall chuckled out with a sore, raspy voice. Carlos smiled and nodded as the boys each surpassed the threshold of the door. James stood where he was, feet firmly planted on the porch as Kendall eyed him with a small, sympathetic smile.
"It's cold out," Kendall spoke softly to his friend, motioning to the inside of his house with his head.
The other boys were already on their way up to Kendall's room as James licked his lips and nodded, taking a few steps into the house. He entered the Knight house and Kendall closed the door behind James and sighed. The two boys hadn't even spoken a word to each other since the fight, and they knew that it was stupid that they couldn't apologize to each other. Girls were supposed to hold grudges, not guys. Especially not James Diamond and Kendall Knight. Both of them had gone too far with what they had said, and even though neither side backed down from their argument, the least they could do was be there for each other.
"Is your uh…face alright?" Kendall asked, sticking his hands in his pockets sheepishly. James shrugged and gave Kendall a small sympathetic smile.
"Is your heart alright?" he asked back softly.
Kendall shrugged, and tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't as he started to chuckle, giving James a raised eyebrow.
"You do know that was probably the gayest thing you've ever said," Kendall told him. James nodded laughed, slinging an arm around his best friend's shoulders.
"I'm sorry," James said sympathetically looking into Kendall's eyes, obviously meaning more than just the comment. Kendall nodded and smiled sadly.
"Me too."
James and Kendall parted with a small, civil pat on the back, as the two tallest of the group made their way up the stairs to Kendall's room. When Kendall and James entered his room, they found Carlos bouncing around on the dark blue comforter with a smile on, and Logan inspecting the papers on Kendall's desk. Carlos stopped dead when he saw James and Kendall enter the room with smiling, bright faces on.
"Are you guys friends again?" he asked enthusiastically with a smile. James and Kendall both nodded, Kendall closing the door behind them as Logan looked at them relieved as could be.
"Oh thank God! I was starting to find slingshots and climbing trees appealing hanging out with this one alone," Logan said pointing to Carlos, who had ceased jumping and stood up straight on the floor.
"Hey!" he said offended.
"Let's not get another two of our friends in a fight?" Kendall asked his friends, the Knight leadership quality in his voice standing out for the first time since the boys had arrived. It was something all of the Knight's had, whether they had noticed it or not. That same "take charge" voice where nothing could bother them. It's what made Kendall the leader of their group.
"Agreed," Carlos and Logan both said in unison, then turning to look at each other in horror. Carlos' eyes went wide and he looked at Logan as if he were some foreign alien, stepping back a bit and falling on his backside on the bed.
"Jeez. Maybe we are spending too much time together," the Latino boy spoke with a horrified voice.
Logan chuckled a bit, taking his usual seat against Kendall's desk chair, letting his legs hang out in front of him. Kendall sighed and ran his hand through his hair, taking a seat against the bed, next to Carlos' dangling legs, and James opted to lay on his stomach in the middle of Kendall's room, his knees bent up ward at a ninety-degree angle.
"Sooo…" James said awkwardly, looking around at his three brothers. Kendall looked around at the boys, his hands on his knees, curled up against his bed as he sighed. He closed his eyes, licked his lips and got up, going across the room. All three boys watched as he opened his bottom desk drawer, fished through some papers and took out an envelope, closing the drawer.
"Here," Kendall spoke carelessly and obviously upset, throwing the letter in the middle of the room. He walked back over to where he was sitting, Carlos, Logan and James staring at the letter, the only thing visible from all of their perceptions, a big, red "Return to Sender" stamp. The boys then all looked at each other as Kendall took a deep breath, breaking the deafening silence.
"I—I just waited so long for her to respond, and to know that she didn't even get it," he muttered out, looking at his hands upset. "I poured my heart and soul out in that letter, and she didn't even get to see it. I don't know if she ever will. She's lost, and I don't know how to find her," Kendall chuckled out in pure sadness and anger.
"I'm sure she is alright, Kendall. From what you told us, Stella is a really strong girl," Carlos said comfortingly, looking down from the bed at his blonde friend. Kendall shrugged and sighed deeply, Carlos looking at James and Logan for help.
"Yeah, I mean—she has been a runaway since she was younger, I'm sure she just maybe wanted to move out of the General Store and get a job somewhere else where she could find somewhere to stay, you know?" Logan said with a half-smile, as Kendall sighed and looked straight at James with a small, sad smile.
"Alright, your turn," Kendall said. James looked at the boy with a torn heart. He wanted to say that maybe Stella had moved to forget about Kendall, and that even if she had gotten that letter, she wouldn't have responded. But James wouldn't talk back to his friend like that again, he needed to support Kendall like he had promised since they were young. He needed to be a better friend, just like Logan had said the car ride here.
"I don't know what to say, Kendall. It could be a number of things. Maybe she is sending you a letter," James said gruffly, even though he knew that wasn't true.
"I hope she does send me one, and I'll be waiting for it every day," he said with a small smile. "It just doesn't make sense. She said we were going to write each other, and that I could send letters to her," Kendall spoke with a furrowed brow, shaking his head. "And now she could be halfway around the world, all alone and scared, and I'm not there to protect her," he whispered out miserably.
"Well, when was this? Earlier in the week you were there?" Logan asked. Kendall sighed and bit his lower lip, smirking a bit and chuckling softly, but sadly.
"No. It was the day before I left," he spoke. "When I went to say good-bye to her that night, I told her that we could send letters to each other, and she said to send hers to the General Store."
"Well what did she say after you talked to her about the mail?" Logan asked, as if there was a logical reasoning to the steps Kendall and Stella took to talk to each other about this.
"Nothing. We kissed," Kendall said with a closed lipped smile. Logan rolled his eyes.
"And after that?" he asked annoyed. Kendall closed his eyes and remembered how he and Stella had made love the night before he left, and how they had both cried into each other's arms when finished. He remembered trying to resist the pleasure because the pain and fear of losing her was too great.
Kendall looked up at Logan and widened his eyes, raised his eyebrows and moved his head forward a bit with a chuckle, Logan's face twisting up in horror.
"Awwwww man, I did NOT need to know that," Logan said, shaking his head in disapproval. Carlos laughed and James chuckled a bit, making sure to say anything that could upset, or set off his best friend. "You better not be having any dreams like that in California, because we're sharing a bed," Logan added with a smile, trying to cheer his best friend up.
Kendall put up three fingers and smiled deviously. "Scouts honor, Logie." Kendall had to admit, a vacation to California, away from all of this sounded amazing right now. He had told his mother to tell Mr. Mitchell to book him a spot on the plane, and that'd he be there. She figured it would be good for him, on the condition that he attended another therapy session before he left.
Kendall sighed deeply and looked around at his best friends, all obviously uncomfortable with this subject for all their own reasons.
"Well…what'd you say in the letter?" James asked curiously, trying to see if him talking about how he felt about the blonde, runaway would cheer him up. Kendall sighed and rubbed his forehead and chuckled.
"Oh, so much, you have no idea. I drafted it five times," Kendall spoke. Logan laughed and sighed with a smile.
"Look at you, and you aren't even an English student Mr. History," he said. Kendall chuckled and shrugged, his eyes going to the letter in the center of them.
"You guys want me to read it to you? I don't mind. It's not that long," Kendall spoke comfortable, reaching out to the letter and picking it up with his hands. Carlos smiled smugly, resting a hand on Kendall's shoulder with a smile.
"Why don't you keep the letter between you and Stella, and sing us the song you wrote for her for Christmas?" Carlos asked, his eyes lighting up. James and Logan each smiled and nodded, and Kendall looked a bit nervous.
"I—I don't know, I mean, it's kinda personal," he said unsure, scratching the back of his neck. Carlos rolled his eyes playfully.
"And this," he said, snatching the letter from Kendall's hands, "isn't?" Kendall looked up at his friend and tried to grab the letter, back as Carlos chuckled at his blonde best friend's failed attempts.
"Come on, Kendall. You sang it for Carlos, it's only fair I hear it as well," Logan declared, sitting upright. James did the same, more interested and alert with a smile on his face.
"I wanna hear this too, man. Maybe I can convince you to join choir," James chuckled out with a two hand mock gun point at Kendall. Carlos' grip on Kendall's shoulder tightened and Kendall looked up at him, Carlos nodding at him energetically. Kendall sighed, rolling his eyes, obviously defeated by his three best friends.
"Fine," he said, getting up from his place on the floor, walking over the corner with a smile on his face he had thought the boys couldn't see. Holding the guitar by the neck, and sweeping his capo off his desk, he sat back down in his original spot, slinging the beautiful acoustic beauty on his neck, putting the capo on the fifth fret, and taking the pick from under the strings. "It needs a bit of a work still, and I'm not done yet so," he warned his friends.
James and Logan nodded and shimmied closer with wide, inviting eyes, as Kendall closed his eyes and tried to remember the chords that he had figured out after school yesterday. He made the shapes with his fingers on the fret board of the guitar, grazing the strings with the pick to make sure he had the right idea. Since when did Kendall Knight play guitar and sing in front of people, even if they were his best friends? Kendall didn't know why, but singing Stella's song wasn't as nerve wracking as he thought. All he had to do was picture the beautiful blonde in front him, her touch, her scent, her voice, how she told him he was a beautiful singer, it all made Kendall feel so much better about everything in his life.
"I remember what you wore on the first day, you came into my life and I thought hey you know this could be something," Kendall began to sing, his voice a bit shaky.
As the boy continued the song, the gentle strumming of his guitar, James, Carlos and Logan all looked at him in absolute awe. It was like this angel had been sent down from Heaven and granted Kendall with this unbelievable voice he had been hiding from everyone but his dad for so many years. Even James, who had been the performer of the group, was at a loss for words when he heard Kendall's beautifully classic voice ring through his ears. They watched their friend at his most vulnerable, looking at how his hands seemed to tense at certain parts of the song, how the corners of his mouth turned upward like he was about to scream, and how his eyes remained closed the entire time he sang. When he had finished the second chorus, ending with one, final, sugary strum, he opened his eyes. He hadn't even noticed that a tear had fallen down his cheek, and that he was biting his lower lip white from the tension. All the other times he had played it, he hadn't cried, but now, knowing Stella was out there, somewhere alone, and that he couldn't sing this to her at night made him desperate.
Kendall just sat there, silent, a tear falling on the body of his guitar, not being able to look at his friends. James or Logan didn't need to say that he was amazing, because the silence in the room spoke for itself. Twelve years together was long enough for silence to be loud.
James didn't know if he was telling the truth, or if he was just hurting Kendall more by guaranteeing him something that was uncertain. James had seen enough pain behind the green eyes of Kendall Knight in the past year, and truthfully, he couldn't take the hurt he felt for his strong, fearless friend any longer; none of the boys could. Seeing their leader break down and fall to pieces the past year had been something none of the boys were prepared for emotionally or mentally, but they knew they had to be there for Kendall like he was there for them. Through Carlos' parent's divorce, Logan's few depressing test grades, and James' failed auditions for the spring musical, Kendall was always there, no matter what. James put a hand on Kendall's shoulder, the blonde boy looking up at his friend with red, watery eyes, and a sad, helpless smile.
"You'll see her again, buddy. I promise."
About a half an hour later, after cheering up Kendall to the best of their ability, all four boys walked down the stairs of the Knight house, about to go their separate ways. It was close to dinner time, and God knows that Carlos was starting to get rambunctious from the scent of the soup wafting upstairs from the Knight kitchen.
"I thought you doofuses were up there," Katie said slyly from the kitchen, doing her homework at the white kitchen table. Kim smiled widely at the boys as Katie shook her head disapprovingly.
"I thought I heard more than one voice up there," she said gleefully wiping her hands with a dishrag, and coming over to her son and his friends. "I didn't want to come upstairs and intrude on your 'guy time'," she said chuckling, Carlos, Logan and James smiling at how hopelessly corny Kim Knight was. She planted a kiss on her son's cheek, but one look in his pale, green eyes, she knew something was wrong. And one look in her blue eyes, and Kendall knew he wasn't going to be able to keep this a big secret anymore.
"Did you boys wanna stay for dinner? I have a pot of soup on the stove," Kim said with a smile, motioning back to the stove.
"No thanks, Mrs. Knight. I'm just gonna drop Carlos and Logan off home," James said cordially with a smile, before Carlos could even get a word in.
Kim smiled at James and nodded, touching his shoulder affectionately with a mother's smile. Miraculously, she knew nothing of the fight with James and Kendall, and squinted a bit at the bruise on the bridge of his nose, avoiding bringing it up, since she knew James was into his looks so much. Kendall hadn't told her anything of it, and seeing as Carlos' mother and Kendall's mother weren't too close, she never found out about it. If she had, Kendall would be in even more trouble, be subject to more therapy, and probably wouldn't have been able to go to California with Logan next week. Kendall had done everything in his power to hide it from her, which was definitely the smart thing for him to do. But now, the lying was to all come to an end.
"Okay. Drive safely," she said with a smile. She turned away from the group with a small weight on her heart as Katie sighed deeply.
"Bye Katie-Watie!" Carlos called out from the front door, Katie rolling her eyes at the annoying, but comforting nickname she had earned from the boys as she angrily went back to her math homework. Kendall opened the door for his friends, as they filed out and stood on the porch facing him, like they had just done not even an hour before.
"Thanks, guys. It uh-means a lot," Kendall spoke softly, with a small smile. None of the boys said anything, but nodded surely, knowing how hard it was for Kendall to accept help from anyone the past few weeks.
"Please do something with that voice, Kendall, alright?" James asked his best friend with a small nod. Kendall closed his eyes and smiled, opening them quickly with a chuckle.
"I'll think about it," he said. The boys all chuckled and bid their final good-byes, as Kendall closed the door behind them and sighed deeply. Kim wasted no time in from hearing the door slam to her son's sigh, when she started walking towards him, before he could think about escaping upstairs.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? I can tell you've been crying," she said in a whisper, crossing her arms across her chest. Kendall sighed and shook his head, wanting to give up. While his anger had surprisingly been under control since the James' incident, his sadness seemed to be evening it out. Kendall hadn't cried as much in his entire life as he had the past year, and quite frankly, it scared him. All was silent as Kim sighed deeply.
"I know I'm not your father, Kendall, and I never will be, but—you can talk to me, sweetheart. I promise. I hate seeing you bottle something up inside like this, and I can't help you with it," Kim said softly, touching his cheek gently. Kendall licked his lips, and turned his head away from his mother's, nodding. There was no use in putting up this wall towards his mother anymore. If he wanted to find Stella, he was going to have to tell her about everything that had happened the past few weeks.
"I-I know. We can talk about it," he said, closing his eyes, his voice a bit shaky. Kim looked surprised, as she basically dragged Kendall into the kitchen by his arm, and sat him down at the table, the boy sitting in the chair sluggishly and tiredly. She wanted to know just what was causing her son so much grief and anger these past few weeks, and she was finally going to get it out of him. Kendall looked over at his Baby Sister doing homework and then back at his mom, to which Katie raised an eyebrow at.
"What's going on?" she asked confused.
Kim sighed and smiled at her daughter. "Katie, why don't you go upstairs and finish your homework, I need to talk to Kendall about something," she said with a fake smile plastered on her face. Katie snickered and looked at Kendall with wide eyes.
"Did you get in trouble? Did you beat someone up again?" she asked animatedly, throwing her pencil down as Kendall shook his head at her, not even in the mood to fight. Ever since their reconciliation sometime ago, Kendall felt obligated to not let himself get into any fights with Katie, no matter how small.
"Katie, go upstairs, now," Kim said again with a high voice. Katie looked at her mother with a stern eye and crossed her arms.
"Can I watch CNN?" she asked with a smile.
"Sure. Go ahead," Kim said, not even caring about what her daughter watched at a moment like this. Katie gathered up her books and came next to her mom, sighing deeply, resting a hand on her shoulder and looking at Kendall.
"Go easy on him, mom," she said with a sympathetic grin, walking past her Kendall and heading upstairs. Kendall sighed as Kim sat next to him at the table with a concerned, but jubilant smile on her face.
"What's wrong, baby?" she asked.
Kendall sighed deeply, and closed his eyes. All of the emotional baggage he had been carrying the past year was finally too much. Between his father's death, this whirlwind of love with Stella, and now not knowing if the one person who he really loved was safe, pushed him over the edge. Kendall was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders at the young age of sixteen and to be quite honest, Kim didn't know the half of it. It was in the moment Kendall looked into his mothers yearning, blue eyes that he knew she deserved to know everything.
It didn't make much sense to Kendall why he had never come to her before. True, he didn't really want to tell her about how he lost his virginity three days after meeting a runaway, or how he had punched his best friend of twelve years in the face over this girl he had known for a week, but Kendall felt that he needed to let everything off his chest, and then maybe he could really start living healthy. He knew staying up till the wee hours of the morning, thinking of Stella and his father wasn't helping him at all, and only making his thoughts consume him in even more sadness. Therapy wasn't helping him much either, something Kim had seen easily from two unproductive and raging sessions, and now, he was at a dead end. Kim was the only one who could truly turn him around, and Kendall knew it, as much as he hated to admit it.
"I-I'm in love, mom," Kendall stated simply, tugging at his lower lip with his teeth, chuckling in disbelief at how his mother was probably laughing at him on the inside, getting her arguments about how anything under twenty-one was "puppy love".
Kim took a sharp breath out and cocked her head to the side, very confused.
"You're in…love? With…who?" she asked, trying her best not to belittle her son's sudden Romeo proclamation for love. Kendall swallowed hard and looked at his hands, and how they tapped the kitchen table gently. It was now or never. If he didn't try to turn now, he'd be stuck in that dead end forever, something he couldn't be in to go on. He needed to get better, he needed someone to really understand. Kendall needed his mother.
"Stella."
For the next half-hour, Kendall talked. Kimberly Knight said nothing, and moved not an inch as Kendall told his story, except once to turn the soup on to a simmer. Kendall told her everything. He told her how Stella was a runaway who was called Kacey, and how he had met her on the roof of the Tregger's house, kissing her within moments. Not being able to stop, he told her about how they had made love on Christmas Eve in the cabin behind the huge mansion Stella lived in. He told her about her living conditions, how she was hit as a child, how she enjoyed his voice, and how she always seemed to correct him when he was grammatically inaccurate. He told her how he had gotten a Return to Sender letter, and about his fight with James. And when he was done, there wasn't much that Kim could say.
"I'm—I'm sorry I've been lying to you, and I'm sorry I've been making such stupid decisions lately, b-but I love her, mom. I really do, and no one understands, and it's so frustrating," he cried out, his voice cracking a bit. He looked up at his mother's eyes which seemed confused, yet understanding. She had done her best to comfort Kendall when he was going through his story, only letting a slight "Oh God," when he had told her that he wasn't her little boy anymore. "But that's everything, I promise, it's everything."
Kim looked down at her son. It seemed like since Kris had died, the poor boy had been trying to fill many a role in the Knight house. Not only was he to be a loving son, but he was the protector of his mother and sister, the man of the house, and the provider. Kendall had been talking about getting a job after school for a few weeks now, and was trying his best to help his mother out financially anyway he possibly could. She couldn't speak she was so conflicted.
"I—That's…that's a lot of information to be brought up at once, Kendall," Kim spoke softly, closing her eyes and sighing, feeling a headache brewing quite quickly. She had never thought that so much could be said in such a short amount of time. She sighed deeply and looked into her son's scared, confused, and lost green eyes.
"I know, mom. And you can punish me, and tell me I'm not allowed to go to California, and ground me until I turn thirty, and I'll take it. I deserve it for lying to you," Kendall spoke out softly. Kim's heart broke at her son's list of what he deserved. It was totally opposite from her own. She knew when Kendall was passionate about something, that he was overly passionate about it, which was probably the leading cause of his anger problems. She didn't doubt her son for a minute, because in his eyes she saw the way he talked about Stella like she was the single-greatest thing on this planet. It was the same way she used to talk about her husband.
"I'm not going to do that," Kim spoke softly. She rested a hand on her son's bouncing knee, trying to get his nerves to calm down as he looked up at her in awe. "I'm not going to punish you by grounding you, and taking away this trip I know you're looking forward to. That wouldn't solve anything," she said with a tender voice, Kendall smiling a bit. He had to admit, he really was looking forward to seeing the Wild play in California with his best friend, also knowing his father would be there in spirit.
"W-what?" he asked softly. He was sure that there would be some punishment to come along with all these lies.
"I love you, sweetheart. But though, I wish you would've done things differently with this whole situation, and not lied about it. You should've been able to tell me that all of this was going on," she said softly.
He nodded and sighed deeply, shaking his head upset. "I know, I-I just, I thought you would try to talk me out of seeing her again, and I-I don't know," he said upset, biting his lip ashamed. "I thought I could handle it." Kim said nothing but pulled her son into a strong embrace, something she hadn't done in such a long while. She breathed in the scent of his cinnamon shampoo and smiled against his smooth, silky locks of blonde hair.
"I know you care about her, Kendall. I do, but I have to be a mother here and tell you that she's a runaway, and that she could be anywhere right now. I know you want to find her, but I don't know if you're going to be able to, baby," she spoke softly. Kendall bit his lip and hugged his mom tightly, nuzzling into her hair gently and sighing.
"I wanna find her so bad, mom. I wanna make sure she is alright," Kendall spoke his voice starting to crack. "I have to protect her. I promised," he said.
It hurt him so bad that Stella was out there somewhere, and he couldn't save her. He was so used to saving everyone, and now, he needed to be saved. Kendall couldn't wrap his head around his vulnerability, but now, he was going to have to. He was going to have to get used to breaking down in front of his friends, and his mother, even if it meant he wasn't as strong as he used to be. Kim looked at her beautiful, passionate, loving son and sighed deeply, closing her eyes and holding him tightly.
"I know, sweetheart. But you're only human," Kim said, kissing his blonde hair gently.