A/N: This chapter is pretty intense, and I think it speaks for itself :D I hope you all enjoy, and make sure to read and review! I'm updating early since my updates have been so late lately, so here you go :D I also want to thank any of my readers who nominated me in the 2011 BTR FanFic awards! It was so great to be nominated in different catergories for a few of my stories, and I'm so thankful. I saw a few people who nominated for me that have never reviewed, so I wanna say don't be shy! Come out and review, tell me what you think is going to happen and all that jazz :D
Oh. And like usual, here is another snippet from the wonderful (AWARD WINNING ;D) waterwicca's Past The Sorrow:
"So, now that you've seen what everyone in town thinks of me… Why would you still love me?" Sage whispered her last words. She had never questioned their feelings for each other before, but being back in the real world made her remember who she was.
She didn't sound sad, but Kendall felt almost sick at the complete disbelief that was in her voice and laced onto her usually serene features. It was as if she couldn't wrap her head around the idea of him loving her unconditionally when it felt like the simplest thing in the world to him. Sometimes, Kendall tried to figure out the whole crazy three weeks in his head, but even his own mind couldn't make sense of itself.
Loving Sage just came about with no real provocation… like breathing or blinking: It just happened… and he wasn't going to question the feeling because he needed it.
"First of all, please don't put yourself down like that. It makes me sad…" Kendall asked of her with a serious frown and begging eyes to make his point clear. Her gentle smile let him know that she heard him loud and clear, and he continued with a playful smirk, "… and, second of all, I have lots of reasons to love you."
"Such as…?" Sage asked with a grin as she turned in Kendall's arms to press her back into his chest while he continued guiding them smoothly along the ice in the empty rink. Kendall smiled as he spoke, loving when they got into these types of conversations… conversations that meant something… meant the world to him.
"When you smile, I can't help but smile too. So, we're never bored…" Kendall whispered into her ear and laced their hands together at her waist, "… I can sit with you in complete silence and feel like nothing needs to be said… I love you because you can read my mind. You always know what I'm thinking with just one look… Why do you love me?" he asked, turning the question back on her as they always did for each other. They would always remain equals.
Sage could hear the flirtation in his voice before she turned once again to look him in the eye.
"Because you're strong. You make me feel safe and free… Your confidence is contagious… When I touch you, I feel like anything is possible; even making Samantha Carson go away," she finished with a small laugh that he returned.
"I like this too," he gestured between their two bodies, "I like that we can play and be serious. We're smiling and flirting one second, and then we turn serious and I can be completely honest with you. There's no reason to be afraid…" Kendall smiled fondly at her, brushing a strand of blonde hair from her face.
Sage's heart flinched at his truthful words. She felt completely guilty because everything was perfect except for her honesty with him. It always came down to one thing… the one thing that dominated her life and thoughts three weeks earlier. Elliot was always the problem…
Sage leaned into his warm caress and decided that she would tell him everything when the time was right. She wanted to wait for the perfect moment, and now was not it. Kendall was looking at her with complete adoration and contentment, and she knew, despite her thoughts about her stepfather, her features were mirroring his own. Kendall always made everything better. He could make a meteor plummeting towards Earth seem like the best thing that's ever happened.
As the couple met in a loving kiss, Sage promised herself she'd tell him…
When the time is right…
Yes! You love it don't you? You're gonna wanna read and review, I'm telling you! :D
Chapter Seventeen: Dinner Theater
It had been two weeks since Kendall had returned from California with Logan, and the fact that Mr. Mitchell was seeing another woman on the side still hadn't escaped Kendall's lips. He didn't have the heart to tell his best friend, that he man he adored all his life, and was so close to was betraying his family. It was something Kendall almost didn't feel right telling Logan, but at the same time, he felt horrible for having to keep something like this from him.
It was now mid February, and although it was still cold, the air had begun to get a smidgen warmer, a relief for everyone in Duluth who had been bundled up completely since before December. It was the Friday before February vacation for the students of Duluth High, and the boys were excited for another long break from school, Kendall especially.
"Finally, no more school for a week!" James exclaimed excitedly, unlocking his car automatically as the four boys approached it in the sophomore parking lot.
"I know, I could really use a long week away from all these people," Kendall spoke with a bitter chuckle, holding his books to his chest. James went around to the other side of the car opening it as the boys each took their respective spots in the car, Kendall getting the front seat, Carlos and Logan the back.
All four doors open and closed in unison as the boys settled into James' tiny green Accord, buckling up as James started up the ignition.
"So boys, what are our plans for the week?" Kendall turned around to Logan and Carlos with a big smile.
The Latino and the smart boy each subtly smiled at Kendall, but for a different reason than the blonde thought. Kendall had made such tremendous progress with his anger the past few weeks, due to his comical therapy sessions with Dr. Givens, and the love and support of friends and family. The boys were also especially happy about the whole Stella debacle seeming to fade off. They hadn't really heard him talk about her in a few days, even though they knew he was thinking about her constantly. Logan had felt that California had really helped the boy with everything that was going on, and they were all thankful that Kendall's emotions had become a bit more stable.
"I'm probably gonna hang out with my dad before he leaves for New Jersey a bit," Logan said with a smile, Kendall's face instantly dropping. If only Logan knew that after New Jersey, John would be swinging to Manhattan to visit a woman he'd have sex with, and her kids, he'd be in a different kind of mood. "But otherwise, I'm definitely free." Kendall's heart felt pain whenever Logan talked about his father with a smile. He hadn't even told Carlos or James about what had happened in California, but Kendall knew that it was going to come out eventually. He felt like he was betraying Logan by holding such a secret.
Kendall nodded shamefully, and his eyes were directed to Carlos, who seemed to be looking out the window a bit lost and confused. The boy had been quiet all day in school, not being his usual, fun, Carlos self and Kendall had noticed. Even at lunch, Carlos had barely touched the left over macaroni and cheese he had brought from home, his favorite dish.
"What about you Carlitos?" he asked brightly, as James began to back out of his parking spot cautiously. Carlos sighed a bit nervously, and bit his lower lip, looking up at all the guys. "What?" he asked, shaking his head confused. James began the venture home, turning left out of the parking lot and onto the road.
"Everything…alright, Carlos?" Kendall asked with a concerned expression on his face, leaning his chin on the edge of the seat. Carlos sighed and shrugged depressed.
"I'm gonna be at my dad's for a bit," Carlos said, swallowing hard. Kendall and Logan looked at Carlos confused, knowing that he hadn't been over his father's house for an extended stay in a while. It wasn't that Carlos didn't love his father, the two just didn't have a good relationship, and especially not when Peter was screaming and yelling at Marta. No matter how hard he tried, that was really the only thing that Carlos could identify his father with, and it killed him.
"Why is that?" Logan asked curiously. Carlos took another deep sigh.
"Mi abeula is moving in Florida, and my mom is going down there to help. So, I'm gonna stay with my dad for a few days," he said dryly, his gaze returning out the window, looking at the suburban houses of Duluth moving by quickly. James, who was stopped at a stoplight, exchanged glances with Kendall, who exchanged glances with Logan. All three boys knew that Carlos' relationship with his dad just seemed to get worse as time went on. Peter Garcia was very stubborn with how he raised Carlos, and while his love for him was unconditional, the love for Marta was definitely long gone, and had transformed into hatred over the years, something Carlos was not very fond of.
"Well, you're only a few towns away, me or Kendall could always pick you up," James said with a happy voice, turning back around to see Carlos' face. The boy smiled sadly, and James redirected his eyes to the road, feeling sorry for his best friend.
"I say we have a sleepover," Kendall proclaimed with a smile, turning back around in his seat. James turned to Kendall and raised his eyebrow a bit, hands still on the wheel.
"A sleepover?" James asked with a chuckle. "Where did that come from?"
Kendall shrugged. "I don't know. I just think it'll be fun, and that'll make it easier for Carlos since he is a bit of a drive away. I'll ask my mom when I get home if you guys can come over one day this week," he said with a smile, settling down in his seat comfortably. James, Logan and Carlos all exchanged looks with each other, a bit surprised at Kendall. The boy had seemed overly excited about spending time with his friends, not that they were complaining, but it seemed as if the old, old, Kendall was making a reappearance. They hadn't seen him this happy, vibrant, and full of life since his father had passed…nearly a year ago.
"So, what are we going to do at this sleepover?" Logan asked quizzically, trying to figure out if Kendall had some sort of plan up his sleeve. Kendall shrugged.
"I don't know. Maybe watch the Wild game, eat stuff that isn't good for us, midnight hockey at Hennery, you know, the usual," Kendall spoke excitedly with a smile.
"Oh, so that means James is gonna talk about a new sexual conquest and we're all going to ask questions about it?" Logan added in with a chuckle. James shook his head and sighed deeply, hands on the wheel as he drove down Carlos' block, ready to drop his first friend off.
"Sorry, Logie. Haven't been with a girl in a few weeks," James said upset, as if it was some national phenomenon. Logan scoffed at his friends' melodramatic nature.
"Better than a few years," Logan muffled out miserably, staring out the window as the car began to slow down a bit. James and Kendall heard his comment, but decided to leave it untouched as Kendall turned his head to James with a bright smile on his face.
"Dude, whatever happened to Amy Gellerman?" Kendall asked quizzically. James sighed deeply and bit his lower lip, pulling the car to the curb in front of Carlos' small little grey and black house, with the small, dead, still frozen shrubbery in front of it.
"I don't know. We kinda fazed out, and the thing with Stephanie, and yeah," James mumbled out, looking down at his hands placed on the bottom of the wheel as Kendall swallowed hard. He didn't even realize that maybe his treatment towards Stephanie Carter had caused a rift between James and Amy. He hadn't even really talked to her since their failed date, even though they had a lot of classes together. Stephanie either totally ignored him, or said a small hi whenever they crossed paths. It hurt Kendall to talk to her, truthfully. It hurt him knowing that there was a sweet, beautiful, fun girl who really liked him who he didn't like back. Although one thought about the girl who really loved him, gravitated his thoughts, and brought a cheesy smile to his face.
"Oh, I'm—sorry," Kendall said, looking away from James who punched his shoulder playfully and smiled.
"Not a problem, dude. It was gonna end sooner or later," James spoke with a chuckle, his hands tightening on the steering wheel, as he put the car in park I front of Carlos' mailbox.
"I'll see you later guys," Carlos spoke gruffly, snatching his backpack from the middle seat, and throwing it over his shoulder carelessly. He got out and closed the back door with a slam, as the three remaining boys all watched as Carlos angrily walking up his pathway.
"He doesn't seem too happy about his dad," Logan said softly, looking out at Carlos' fumbly messing with the key in his pocket, as James waited for the boy to get in the house. With one slam of the front glass door, James put the car in drive and slowly began to ease from the curb.
Kendall cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to get off the topic of fathers, and sighed loudly, trying to keep his smile on his face.
"So I'm thinking that maybe we can go out to the diner or something, then back to my house, and then of course go to Hennery for midnight hockey. Whatddya say?" he asked the two boys, looking back at each of them with a smile on his face. Logan smiled back at him and furrowed his brows confused, cocking his head to the side peculiarly.
"What's with you being so 'plan oriented', Kendall?" Logan asked with a chuckle. James snorted as he took a left onto one of Duluth's main streets. "You're the one who always just says "If we drive, we'll end up somewhere,"."
"I don't know. I just…I wanna spend time with you guys," Kendall spoke from the heart with a smile on his face. "We have this whole entire vacation off, and I think it'd be good if we took the time to spend it all together, like we used to in middle school," he spoke out with a smile. It was true. Kendall felt that he should be happy with his friends, especially since they had all stuck by him the past few weeks. He needed to be happy, because it was the only thing that was keeping him from toppling over. He missed Stella terribly, and everyday he expected to hear from her, but never did. It was indeed a great disappointment to the boy, but he didn't want to break down anymore. He knew that he had met Stella for a reason, and that soon enough, she was going to come back into his life.
"Aw. How cute," James mocked laughing, as Kendall playfully punched his arm with a chuckle.
"No hurting the driver, Kendall. I'd really you know, like to get home in one piece," Logan said nervously from the backseat, holding onto the bar on the ceiling of the car.
"Oh relax Logie, James is a great driver," Kendall said with a smile, leaning back into his seat with a sigh and smile. A few minutes later, James pulled up to the Knight house, and Kendall hoisted his books into his arms and sighed with a smile.
"So I guess I'll talk to you guys tonight, I'll let you know what the plans are for this week, alright?" he said excitedly, getting out of the car.
"Sounds good, K-Dawg," James said with a smile, resting his hands on the steering wheel, as Logan climbed from the backseat, to the front seat. Kendall moseyed up the path of his house, as he watched James and Logan speed away.
Things were getting back to normal.
It was around 5:00 PM when Marta walked in the door from work. Her feet ached, her head pounded, and her stomach growled the second she walked into the house with a sigh. She closed the door behind her and locked it, along with kicking her shoes near the others by the door she sighed, itching at her stockings.
"Mijo! I'm home!" she called out into the empty house, her slightly accented voice echoing through the hallways. Marta sighed and rubbed her head, knowing she had so much to do before she went to Florida tomorrow morning. She had to help her mother move into her retirement community, and seeing as that she barely had enough money for her own plane ticket, there was no way she could possibly take Carlos with her. She had to finish packing, drive Carlos to Peter's and
"Kitchen, Mami," Carlos responded. Marta brought her hands to her short black hair, and ran her fingers through it comfortingly, as she walked into the kitchen. She saw Carlos in front of the stove, with a big pot of water on it, filled with what she figured to be pasta, since the empty red, white and green boxes next to him clearly spoke for themselves. Carlos was stirring the pasta around with a wooden spoon, as he turned his head and saw his mother walking towards him.
"How was work?" he asked her with a small smile on his face, as Marta chuckled, and came next to him at the stove. She gently kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair a bit, as Carlos concentrated on his pasta.
"It was alright. How was school?" she asked with a pleasant smile.
Carlos shrugged and sighed deeply, clearing his throat as Marta softly ran her fingers through the short hair on the back of his neck. She knew that Carlos' recent blahze attitude was because he wasn't looking forward to spending days at his father's house, and that killed Marta. Peter was still Carlos' father, and while she didn't love him anymore, she felt it was still important for Carlos to have a father figure in his life. Carlos had adored his father growing up, but Marta felt that maybe because her son was living with her, and spent most of his time with her, that he was starting to detest his father, and she didn't want that whatsoever. Peter was a good father to Carlos, and he always had been. That's why she figured having him stay at his father's, rather than a friend's house for a night or two was the best option. She desperately felt that she needed to fix this relationship between the two, even if Carlos didn't know it.
"So, making pasta for yourself?" Marta asked quizzically, letting out a small chuckle. Carlos smiled looking into the pot and shook his head no.
"I figured I'd cook dinner tonight. I know you have a lot of packing and stuff to do before your flight leaves tomorrow morning," Carlos said selflessly, dipping the spoon into the pot and taking out one piece of pasta to test. He blew on it softly, as Marta looked at him in awe. Her heart nearly burst when she noticed the set table behind her, two plates, glasses, forks and napkins, along with a small bowl of bread in the center. He slowly chewed on the pasta, making sure it wasn't too hard, as he reached over and turned the stove down.
"Mom, can you get me the strainer please?" Carlos asked, adding a pinch more salt to the pot. Marta wanted nothing more than to throw her son into her arms, and give him a big hug. Carlos had always been the kind of person who put other's first, especially her. The times when he would just come over to her, and wrap his arms around her shaking, crying frame, whether he was four, or fourteen.
Carlos was the only man in her life, who had ever unconditionally loved her, and it showed.
"Of course," Marta said with a raspy, weak voice, walking over to the pantry across the room and getting out the white strainer. She placed it in the sink, as Carlos carefully brought the pot off the stove, and poured into the strainer, watching all the water come out of the bottom into the sink. Putting the pot aside, he washed the pasta with cold water as Marta went over to the fridge to get the butter, and a pitcher of water. She placed both down on the table, and took a seat, as Carlos brought over a large bowl of pasta and butter, setting it down between them with an accomplished sigh.
"It was very sweet of you to cook dinner, Mijo," Marta said with a smile, as Carlos sat down next to her with a sigh. He smiled at his mother and swallowed hard.
"It was my pleasure, mom," he said, as he picked up his fork and poured himself a glass of water. "It's the least I can do," he added, before taking a large scoop of pasta onto his plate. Marta sighed, and looked how quiet, and conservative her usually bouncing off the walls son was being. It hurt her to know that Carlos was nervous, and not looking forward to being without her for a few days.
"Carlos, are you nervous to spend a few days at your father's?" Marta asked outright, as he passed her the bowl of pasta. Carlos seemed surprised at his mother's question, as he furrowed his eyebrows and took a large helping of pasta in his mouth, hoping to think of a quick answer to his mother's question. It was true. He was a bit nervous to spend time with his father, seeing as that the two didn't have the best relationship.
"Not really," Carlos spoke out after swallowing the pasta, reaching for his glass of water. Marta raised an eyebrow at him and smiled at him suspiciously.
"Not…really?" she asked. Carlos sighed and looked down at his plate, knowing that his mother was going to figure him out eventually.
"I don't know, Mami. It's just, you know me and dad don't have the closest relationship," he spoke softly, pushing around the pasta on his plate, looking down at it.
"I know, baby. But you do know your father loves you more than you can imagine, right? I mean, he calls you almost every day to check up on you and see how you're doing. He's been coming to all your hockey games since God knows when. He really loves you, Carlos. And he's excited to spend time with you," she spoke softly.
Carlos scoffed and looked down at his food. "I know you're just saying that so I'll feel better about going. I know dad loves me, but I can guarantee half the time I'm there he won't even be there," Carlos spoke angrily, Marta giving him a look of surprise.
"What if I told you that he said it himself?" Marta asked, shoveling pasta between her lips. Carlos' head spiked up at Marta's words and he half smiled, but for a reason Marta didn't expect.
"You mean you two actually talked without yelling at each other?" Carlos asked in an innocent, sweet voice.
His big brown eyes shone, and it was if he was a mere five years old again. Marta's heart dropped when she saw her son's excitement, and it saddened her beyond belief. She had known that all the screaming and yelling that had gone in their house for about three constant years had somewhat affected Carlos, but she was only finding out now how bad it really was. He had automatically sided with his mother, grown some underlying dislike for a man who loved him to death, and what Marta didn't know, that he had figured out in his own head that true love doesn't exist, without hatred, and scorn being involved. It hurt her to know what she had put her son through has altered his views on people and issues so much, especially when she had never expected it.
"Yes, can you believe it?" Marta joked softly, covering up her devastation.
"Sweetie, can you pass the chicken and broccoli please," Kim asked with a smile. Kendall picked up the white carton next to him, and gave it to his mom as she smiled at him and stuck her fork into it.
Seeing as that Katie was spending the night at a friend's house, and Kendall and Kim weren't all that hungry, both mother and son decided that Chinese take-out would be the definite best option. Kim also was glad that Katie wasn't home, seeing as that she had something very important to talk to Kendall about, figuring it'd be best talked over food.
"Oh ma, I forgot. Can I have the guys stay over this weekend, or maybe Monday into Tuesday or something?" Kendall asked, serving himself more white rice onto his plate. Kim wiped her mouth with a napkin and looked at Kendall with a nervous smile.
"Listen, Kendall. There is something I want to talk to you about," Kim said. Kendall looked up at her a bit confused and scared. That was something that you never wanted to hear out of a mother's mouth. Kendall's insides began to twist and turn a bit, his mind racing, trying to figure out if there was anything he had done wrong the past few days. He hadn't lied to his mother once since he told her all about Stella, nor had he lashed out at either his mother or sister, or anyone else for that matter. Even though it was super hard, with therapy, the love from his friends and family, and true honesty, Kendall believed he was getting better.
Kim sighed deeply and smiled. "I know that you've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, and that you've gone through a lot in the past year," she started off with a small smile. Kendall nodded, slipping some white rice into his mouth and swallowing it nervously. "I was on the phone with Jenny Tregger last week, and she mentioned to me that you and Bryan still keep in somewhat contact," Kim said. Kendall nodded. It was true. Bryan Tregger was a good kid, definitely an amazing hockey star, and all in all, someone Kendall considered a friend. The two had texted on occasion about Wild games, their seasonal records, and Kendall had also asked Bryan about some schools that gave out good hockey scholarships. They weren't by any means incredibly close, but Kendall liked the kid, even though he was as awkward as could be.
"Yeah, so?" Kendall asked. Kim sighed deeply and smiled at her son.
"Well, Jenny offered an invitation for you to go up there next week, if you'd like to," Kim said. Kendall's eyes got wide, and he smiled, the flecks of gold in his eyes shimmering with his mother's words. His heart started beating faster and faster, as his lips pulled up into a smile.
"S-seriously?" he asked, clutching his fork tightly. Kim took another helping of food, nodding her head cautiously.
"She said you are definitely welcome. And I know you've been really trying to calm yourself down, and you've been really patient with Dr. Givens, and me. And—I think you deserve it," Kim said carefully with a small smile. "But only if you behave yourself up there. I don't want to hear about you getting into any fights," Kim spoke sternly. Kendall nodded no and smiled, his breathing picking up. Even though Stella wasn't still at the general store, maybe she was still by Thief Great Falls. She had to be right? He knew he was going to get to see her again. He just knew it. His heart started beating at just the image of the beautiful blonde, and how he would be able to kiss and hold her again, and maybe even be inside of her.
"Of course! Yes! I want to go!" Kendall exclaimed with laughter, licking his lips in excitement, clutching the table. Kim sighed again and looked in her son's eyes, not wanting to crush his heart, but having to. She paused a moment before looking at him in a motherly way.
"Sweetheart, I-I know you're going to go up there, expecting to see her. That's why I was wary about even telling you about the invitation," Kim spoke, Kendall's eyes still turned up into a smile, obvious to his mother. Kim reached her hand out to him and stroked it gently. "But I don't want you to be upset if she isn't up there. The reason I'm allowing you to go is to hang out with Bryan, and maybe get your head really set on straight up there alright? I'm glad the guys have been helping you out with all the stuff you need to be helped out with, but I'm hoping that when you go up there, you're really going to figure some things out," Kim spoke softly, alluding to her master plan that her son had no idea of. Kendall looked at her a bit confused, biting his lower lip.
"W-what exactly are you saying?" he asked her, scrunching up his face. Kim sighed and swallowed hard, not knowing how he was going to take this.
"Kendall, I know that you care about Stella. And I believe you, because I know that when you are passionate about something, you give it your all, you make it yours, and you don't give up," she started off, smiling at him. Kendall nodded at her smiling and bit his lower lip. "But I just," she paused for a second and sighed deeply. "I don't want you to go up there, thinking that you'll see her, and then you don't. I understand that it's very possible that you are in love with her Kendall. I get that. But sometimes, true love exists for reasons…reasons that we can't really explain," Kim spoke with a small smile, looking into the boy's eyes. Kendall looked at her with an honest, innocent expression, trying to make sense of her words. "Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that they are the best person to be with, sweetheart. And you know that you're in love, when you can finally see that you can let people go, no matter how hard it is," Kim continued on, her soft blue eyes locked on Kendall's green ones. "Okay?" she spoke softly, unsure about how her son was going to react.
Kendall could do nothing but nod, and realize that his mother was totally correct.
"Okay, mom," he said with a small smile.
Kendall couldn't help but feel his heart beat faster and his palms get clammy, just knowing that Stella was awaiting him.
Kelly, John and Logan sat the kitchen table silently, the only thing being heard were the scraping of forks and knifes over the china that they used. The Mitchell's dining room was completely black and white, with a large glass table, a hanging ceiling lamp, with black chairs, black placemats and stark white square dishes.
"Delicious meal, Kel," John spoke with a small smile at his wife, taking a sip of soda from his glass. Kelly smiled politely and nodded, taking another helping of asparagus, as an awkward tension hung in the air between the couple. Logan had noticed that lately, even when John was home to eat with them, they didn't have the family discussions that they used to have. The discussions Logan used to live for.
Logan remembered clearly the many times Kelly, John and him would have lively talks about Logan's day at school, or his upcoming hockey games. He thought about all the dinners he was allowed to choose whenever he got an A+ on his math test, the new encyclopedias or telescopes that Kelly and John would surprise him with whenever he won the spelling bee, or science fair, and the expensive, custom made cakes Logan would get for his birthday ever year, his turning sixteen just a few weeks away. It seemed like Logan always had this perfect family on the outside, but from the very beginning, Logan knew that his family wasn't ordinary in the way they interacted.
The boy reminisced about how during school vacations, when he and the boys would sleep over Kendall's in elementary school, before Mr. Knight would leave the house for work, he'd give Kendall a kiss on the forehead, baby Katie a kiss on the forehead, and Mrs. Knight a soft, tender kiss on the lips. Logan always wondered why his father usually just bid him and his mother an informal good-bye when he left the house, with no kisses whatsoever. Even when he was younger, the boy didn't really remember a time where he ever saw his mother and father show any real affection towards each other. And only now, in his later years, was he noticing it. Wasn't love supposed to be so awesome, that you could barely keep your hands off your partner? If Kendall's parents had been like that, and James' parents were more than that, why weren't Logan's anything like it?
"What's the matter sweetie? You're so quiet tonight," Kelly said with a soft voice, looking at her son with a frown. Logan sighed and pushed around his mashed potatoes on his plate with the silvery, shiny fork, the light from the fixture above seeming to beat down on him.
"Just tired," Logan said half-honestly, not having the mind to come up with some elaborate story about why he was so blah today. The boy looked to his dad with a small smile, his mind racing with all the excitement about what they could possibly do together this week.
"Dad, when are you leaving for New Jersey?" Logan asked, taking a bit of mashed potatoes on his fork, and scooping them into his mouth. John coughed a bit, and brought his linen napkin to his mouth, wiping it with alive eyes, his mind formulating a timeline respective to the meeting of his mistress.
"Uh…Tuesday," John said, taking another sip of his soda. Logan smiled up at his father.
"Well the Wild is playing on Monday, and I wanna hang out with you a bit before you leave. Wanna watch it together?" Logan asked excitedly. John smiled and nodded with guilty eyes.
"Of course, Loag. Sounds great," John said with a smile. Kelly turned to John with a stern, but kind face, batting her eyelashes at him, biting her lower lip.
"What day are you getting back?" she asked. John sighed and sat back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling, trying his best to figure out what day would suffice his business trip to Jersey, along with his little swing by New York.
"Probably Friday. Maybe Saturday. It depends how long it takes with this contract," John said stoically, trying his best to keep his voice from wavering. The man had a lot of practice. Kelly said nothing, but looked down at her plate and continued eating.
Logan looked between his parents, and felt as if there was some invisible ice shield between them. He had seen pictures from their youth, and how his dad used to look at his mom like she was the best thing in the world. But now, to Logan, it seemed as if things were changing. His dad looked at his mom as if she was…as if she was any other attractive, middle aged woman on the street. He wondered if maybe this strain between his parents was serious, taking note that the two were ever barely in the same room at the same time except bed and dinner, and that his mother was becoming more and more lethargic, upset, and less uptight.
Logan shifted the food around on his plate, noticing that he really wasn't hungry anymore, as all that was heard in the Mitchell's dining room was the clanking of glasses, and the scratches of forks.
"So sweetie, everything between you and Kendall is resolved?" Lucie asked, serving James some more fresh, arugula salad. James nodded, licking his lips at the food below him, and clutching his fork in his hand tightly, beyond ready to eat his mother's famous homemade macaroni and cheese, with a side oil and vinegar salad.
"Ma, it's been resolved for like a few weeks now. Before Kendall even went to California," James said, digging hungrily into his food, as Lucie served herself finally, the two Diamond men already well into their servings.
"And I see your nose has healed quite nicely," Jason said with a chuckle, as James rolled his eyes. Of course, his father had made fun of him the entire time he had the heinous bruise on his nose, only after making sure James was mentally alright about the whole fight with Kendall.
Neither Lucie nor Jason could believe that Kendall Knight, even knowing a bit about his rage problems, could ever go as far to punch his best friend. James had explained to them the situation, and of course being the good parents they were, they had sat James down and explained to him that Kendall was still going through a tough time, and that while he was entitled to his own opinions, he had to be sensitive about them. Lucie and Jason didn't touch on the subject of love at all, something James was thankful for, knowing his lovey dovey parents would totally and most definitely believe Kendall over him.
"Yeah, real funny dad," James groaned out, taking a helpful of the delicious meal into his mouth. Lucie finally sat down at rest with a usual cheerful smile on her face, digging into her own creation.
"So brune, how was school today?" Lucie asked cheerfully, taking a helping of salad into her mouth. James shrugged as he chewed, taking his glass to his lips.
"The usual," he said with a shrug, taking a sip of his iced tea. Jason laughed and fixed his horn rimmed glasses, looking at his son with a smile.
"And what is the usual, James?" Jason asked with a slight cock of his left eyebrow. James looked at his quirky as ever father quite confused with a slight chuckle. James never understood half the things his father did or said, but to the boy, it was as entertaining as could be to have a father like Jason Diamond.
"Uh, school, books, choir?" James answered confusedly, returning back to his food. Jason shrugged and went back to eating as well as Lucie's eyes lit up and she smiled, as if she had just guessing the winning lottery numbers for that night in Duluth.
"Oh sweetie! I forgot to tell you," Lucie spoke, chewing and swallowing the rest of her food, a smile on her bright red pursed lips that looked straight painted on. James was confused whether she was talking to him or his father, seeing as the affectionate nickname, along with a few others James didn't understand due to his mother's French heritage, has been thrown around the house confusingly for as long as James could remember.
James and Jason both looked up, and James found his mother's soft eyes locked on him.
"Yeah?" he asked. Lucie smiled, and grabbed Jason's hand beside her, and James furrowed his eyebrows at the two hands entwined. It either meant some sort of big announcement was coming from his mother, or that something was wrong. However Lucie looked happy, so James figured it must be good.
"Me and your father are going away for our anniversary next week. He's taking me to a romantic hotel for the night," Lucie said with lust in her eyes, looking over at her husband who was beaming at her. Between both of the love in their eyes, James felt as if he was going to be sick.
"Okay, and?" James asked, continuing to eat.
"Well, either you can stay the night at one of your friends, stay with Aunt Sylvia, or," Lucie spoke out with a smile, to which James looked up at surprised. "You can spend the night alone." James smiled widely and a firecracker went off in his head. Alone? Did his parents know what he could possibly do alone? James' mind immediately went to the idea that if he was home alone, he could have a girl over here, and they could be as loud, and various as they wanted with their locations of sex.
"Seriously?" James asked with a smile. Jason nodded and looked at his son with a smile.
"We know that you're responsible James, and we trust you for a night on your own. And Mrs. Knight and Kendall are just a few minutes away if there is an emergency," Jason said nodding his head. James looked between both of his parents, smiling widely at this new found trust and confidence they had in him, being aware that not even for a second did their hands part, or smiles cease.
"Yeah! Of course!" James enthused loudly. He furrowed his brows confused for a second and looked between his parents with a confused grin. "B-but I thought you guys married in July?" he asked. Jason and Lucie both nodded, giggling to each other, keeping some sort of inside secret between them that James had no desire to know.
Interrupting the giggling was the vibration of James' phone in his pocket. Putting his fork down and wiping his mouth, James slid his phone from his pocket, seeing there was one new message from Kendall.
From: Kendallllll
Come over ASAP. Big time news :)
James looked at the text confused, his lower lip sticking out about, as he wondered what the news could possibly be. Maybe Kendall had gotten some word from Stella, or something like that. Whatever it was, James knew it had something to do with the blonde girl that Kendall still was infatuated with. Looking up, he had saw that his parents were quietly eating with their hands still enclosed, even though they no longer had anything to tell James. James shook his head and slipped his phone back into his pocket with a deep sigh.
"I'm gonna shoot over to Kendall's after dinner, okay?" he told his mother.
"Sure thing, sweetie. Be home by eleven," Lucie said, looking up at Jason with a seductive smile.
xxxx
"So what is so important, that I had to drive all the way to Hugo to pick up Carlos, and then bring him all the way back here?" James asked with a sigh, him and Carlos finally settling down on the floor of Kendall's room. Logan was already there sitting against the desk with a confused, tired expression on his face. Carlos turned to James with a small, innocent face of burden and James looked at him with a reassuring smile.
"I'm kidding buddy, no problem picking you up," James whispered to his friend, Carlos immediately smiling at the brunette. Kendall closed the door to his room and bit his lower lip with excitement, his body racing, eyes jumping and the fireworks inside him exploding. He had never been so excited to tell his friends in all his life that he may be able to see Stella again, after so many days of being without her. The words didn't seem comprehendible in his mind, and he didn't know how he was going to say it.
"Guys, I'm going back to Thief River Falls for vacation, and I might be able to see her!" Kendall spoke excitedly, still standing, his eyes going from boy to boy, looking for a reaction that would satisfy him.
Logan looked a bit confused, Carlos looked deeply upset, and James…well, James seemed anything but happy. Kendall's face began to drop a bit, as the three boys looked at each other, with the exception of Carlos who looked down at the floor miserably and quietly.
"Okaaaaay…someone say…something?" Kendall asked softly, his voice small and weak. James and Logan each read each other's eyes, Logan being the first to speak up.
"I thought you wanted to spend this entire vacation with us….here…in Duluth?" Logan asked curiously. Kendall smiled and nodded nervously, looking up to the ceiling, trying to get his words straight in order to explain this to his friends.
"I know, but guys, this is a chance I may never get again. She-she could be up there, and I could get to see her again, and kiss her, and be with her again," Kendall exclaimed happily, the words just spilling out of his mouth like candy from a piñata. It was if there was absolutely nothing that mattered at this point, except that fact that he might see Stella. Even just talking about her sent waves of excitement through Kendall, and got his heart to kick start into overdrive. "Do you know how perfect that would be?" he asked them in desperation, pacing his room back and forth. James sighed and swallowed hard.
"Dude, do you even know if she is really there?" he asked carefully. Kendall looked at him and sighed deeply, rolling his eyes, knowing this was the one drawback.
"No, but I mean, how could I not take the chance to find out?" Kendall exclaimed.
Carlos said nothing, looking down at the floor. Logan looked next to him at his friend and noticed how upset he looked. Seeking refuge at Kendall's for a day or two is what was going to get him away from the father he felt he had no relationship with, and now with Kendall going away, he had broken his promise to Carlos. Logan began to get angry at Kendall for how selfish he was being lately. It was if some rage was floating through his skin, through his veins, and through his mind.
Logan looked over at James, who he knew felt the same way, but didn't want to start anything again. Kendall Knight stood and looked at his three quiet, best friends in awe with a disappointed look on his face. He shook his head and let out a small chuckle, biting the inside of his cheek and sighing entertained. He half expected this.
"Well, I guess I should've known better," Kendall said sarcastically, crossing his arms. "You guys think I shouldn't go, don't you?" he asked. James, Logan and Carlos all looked up at their somewhat tyrannical best friend. Yes. Kendall Knight was definitely right about what he had said, but the emotion fleeting through all four boys was absolutely monumental at that moment. James took a deep breath, knowing that Logan and Carlos weren't going to say anything to the blonde, but just as his lips were about to move, Logan spoke up.
"It's foolish to go up there, Kendall. You are just going to get your heart broken when you get up there," Logan said sternly, his voice surprisingly not wavering at all. Kendall looked at where the voice came from in surprise. He had surely bet that James would have a problem, but not Logan, his best friend. Kendall stared at the smart boy in awe for a few seconds, not truly comprehending what was said.
"What do you mean?" Kendall asked him, still standing across the room. Logan sighed pained and concerned, as if he didn't want to say the next thing that came out of his mouth. Carlos and James gave each other concerned looks, both not knowing what was going to spew out of Logan's mouth next, wondering if he could even really handle this confrontation.
"You go up there, and say she's not there, and then you come back from Thief Great Falls angry, and depressed, and we start from square one again," Logan spoke quickly, Kendall's eyebrows furrowing a bit. He shook his head in disbelief, looking to James and Carlos for some sort of back-up, but there was none. Kendall looked at his other two friends who were quiet, James with a guilty face and Carlos with a quiet one.
"That's not true, Logan. And what if she is up there?" Kendall asked, a bit pissed off.
"And what if she's not Kendall?" Logan immediately responded, his voice strong and confident. "What if this runaway girl you slept with isn't in the place you met her? What if she is in Virginia, or New York, or California? What are the odds of her being there if she didn't get your letter?" Logan said angrily, his heart beating, the blood rushing to his face. Kendall looked at his raven haired friend in a bit of awe.
"Why can't you guys just be happy for me? I don't understand," Kendall spoke angrily, his temper beginning to flare. Logan saw that his green eyes became a bit brighter in the center, and dark around the edges. Kendall was getting angry, and Logan didn't want to face that wrath, but he was going to have to.
"Because you're leaving the three of us in the dust to go chase after some girl that you're obsessed with!" Logan cried out, standing up as he said it. His breathing got heavier and heavier, and he licked his lips in frustration and surprise. "You're not going to find her up there, Kendall! You're gonna go up there, find nothing, and then come back here angry, and mad, and upset. Look how good you have been lately with your problems? You wanna throw all that progress away?" he asked the blonde. "It's totally illogical."
Kendall looked at Logan angrily, his eyebrows cast down and his mouth in a thin line. "First of all, I'm not obsessed with her. I love her. And she loves me back," he stated gruffly. "And second of all, she is going to be up there, Logan. I feel it. I feel it like I did the first time we kissed, or the first time we held hands. She is up there, and I know it," he spoke out, his fists balled at his sides.
Logan, who took a few steps closer to the boy, watched as James and Carlos sat there quietly, and in shock.
"You know what your problem is? You think that everything is going to go your way, when it's not. Wake the fuck up, Kendall! Why wouldn't she respond to your letter if she was up there! She's gone. She had no intention of sending you letters, or any of that stuff. She was never in love with you, and you were never in love with her, so stop pretending to play this bullshit, love sick game with us! It's pathetic," Logan yelled out, his entire body leaning towards Kendall and shaking a bit.
Kendall looked at Logan in awe. Never had he heard the small boy so eloquent, yet totally pissed off and angry. Kendall didn't know what to say, the anger rising up in him more per minute, as his eyes shifted to James and Carlos who sat speechless on the floor, next to each other. One look in their eyes, and Kendall knew what side they were on.
"You know what, Logan. You're pathetic," Kendall spewed out with venom, laughing a bit in disbelief. Kendall had controlled the urge to punch Logan in the face, and went for a rude comment instead, something he had learned from therapy the past few weeks. "Cause you're oblivious, alright? You think you're gonna spend this vacation with your dad before he goes to Jersey? What if I told you after Jersey, he was going to New York to fuck some woman with two kids?" Kendall spoke with wide eyes, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth. His insides felt like they were going to churn when he saw Logan's face turn upside down, and the boy's eyes shift into worry for a split second, before disappearing entirely.
"What are you even talking about?" Logan asked Kendall nervously, trying to play it off as he wasn't concerned. Kendall laughed out of anger and stepped closer to Logan.
"Your dad was on the phone in California with some woman, telling her how he was gonna make love to her in New York after his trip to Jersey, Logan. I heard the whole conversation," Kendall said, his voice gaining a little more sympathy for his best friend. Kendall figured Logan was going to be upset about all of this, and fall to the floor in a heap of tears. Kendall would be more than glad to pick his friend back up, knowing that this fight was stupid, and trivial. However, Kendall Knight couldn't be more wrong. Logan balled his fists up at his sides and looked Kendall straight in the eye.
"Just because youdon't have a father, doesn't mean you can ruin mine," Logan got out slowly, between gritted teeth.
Kendall looked at Logan Mitchell in awe, as James immediately stood up like the floor was on fire, Carlos following.
"Logan," James spoke softly clutching his best friends shoulder tightly, as Kendall stood there absolutely silent, and frozen. "That's enough, man."
"No, it's not James," Logan said hitting James hand off his shoulder, his voice starting to crack a bit. He looked back at Kendall with venom in his eyes, his heart pumping fast. "He's gonna go up there, not find this girl, and come back here all upset, and we," he said, motioning to the other two bots, "are going to have to pick up the pieces again," he yelled out at a frozen Kendall, his face tensing up a bit. "Just because he thinks he is in love with this stupid girl. And you all think it, so don't even try to tell me I'm wrong."
Kendall still said nothing, tears coming to his green eyes as his three best friends stood on the other side of the room. Looking in all of their eyes, Carlos' at the floor, James' on Kendall's and Logan's on James' he figured out what was going on here. This was more than leaving for a winter vacation. None of the three boys had given Kendall full support about Stella and his love, and only now was he realizing that things had been going on behind his back. James, nor Carlos, nor Logan said anything, silence hanging in the air like a dark, ominous cloud. Kendall covered his chin with his hand, standing there with tears shimmering in his eyes as he cleared his throat.
"Out," he said easily motioning his head to the door with a stern face on. James sighed and started to walk over to Kendall, hoping he could maybe apologize for the stupid things the raven haired boy said.
"Relax, man," he spoke softly, but Kendall gave him a deadly stare.
"Out. All of you. Get out of my room, get out of my house," Kendall spoke angrily, his voice wavering with fear. His fists were clenched at his side, and he jaw was set as he looked hard at the people he called his best friends. He walked up to Logan with a straight lipped expression, his eyebrows knitted over glassy eyes. "And how dare you bring my father into this you fucking jackass!" Kendall screamed through the silence, a tear falling down his cheek, his expression twisted in hurt. His hands shook, his body starting to convulse, as Logan looked ashamed at his best friend, knowing how bad Kendall was hurting right now.
"Let's go guys," James said softly, tugging out Carlos, as Logan slowly followed, Kendall's eyes stuck to him the entire time.
The three boys silently walked out of Kendall's room, as the blonde harshly shut the door behind them. He then immediately sank to the floor, buried his head in his hands, and hysterically cried.
Clutching her blue sweater to her chest, along with the blue cardigan that hung over her shoulders, Stella quickly walked down the snowy road from the bus stop with a smile on her face. With each step she took, her heart grew more wary, but greater, as the desire to see Kendall Knight, or read one of his letters enveloped her heart.
She walked down the street with a small smile passing her pink lips as she looked up at the large, wooden sign, covered in snow and ice.
Thief River Falls. Population, 8,410.
Stella smiled, as continued on forward, towards the lights of the stores on Main Street. She was home again.