A/N: Wow, I've got some new reviews that I'm happy about :] That makes me smile BIG TIME. Here is another installation of Hooked, but of course, here is Past The Sorrow by the AMAZING waterwicca ;D YOU MUST READ AND REVIEW THIS STORY :D
When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
Kendall had written and composed the song with Sage in mind and with her assistance. They did everything together, and she had an amazing talent for words and sound. Even though she knew it by heart, Sage listened and watched Kendall intently as he sang and strummed the guitar. She had cried the first time he sang it fully for her, and there were tears in her eyes again. She was pretty sure that his singing would always get to her…
When Kendall sang, his voice was raw and open, yet controlled and honest… a voice that he only ever used on her in the dead of night whether they were connected together as one or contemplating their lives while wrapped tightly around each other.
I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
After today, Kendall was surer than ever that he would do whatever it took to protect and save Sage. If it took time, then that's what he would deal with. If it took pain, then he would gladly accept it. Kendall had to be in control. He had to be a strong leader for Katie and his mother… He would only ever admit to Sage that he was scared out of his mind. She would be the only one to see his tears, just as he saw hers.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
It had to be okay, because they were together and alive, and that's all that mattered. They would have to deal with the rest as it was thrown at them. When everything is unpredictable, all you can rely on is each other.
'Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay whoa, stay whoa
He knew Sage would want to leave… to stay away for awhile. Kendall could always read the guilt on her face, but he knew that she wouldn't go. He'd never let her, and she couldn't do it. They needed each other… to breathe… to live… to love… to be happy…
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
They'd make it through anything together. Katie and Karen were fully supportive and loving. That was really the only necessity: Family… Family made everything okay. Sage had learned that the hard way. After years of torture, she found people to love and who would love her back without any exceptions. Kendall changed and saved her life… and he would protect it with his own, just as she would lay down and die for him…
All of you who are reviewing, you're really awesome and keeping this story going. I think I'm gonna have a few words to say about all you who are still reviewing by the end of the story in the "EXPLAIN CHAPTER" that is going to highlight the themes in Hooked, almost like a literary analysis for you book lovers.
But definitely, please read and review! Just tell me what you think about the boys, their families, any predictions of some sort? Let me know! I wanna here!
I don't own anything except Stella and my OC's.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Awakenings
It was a bright sunny day in California, and everybody who was anybody was outside, around the Palm Woods pool, soaking up rays, or chugging down a smoothie in the ninety degree weather.
The boys had been here a week already, and had seemed to easily fit into the California lifestyle better than they had expected. Each night, they had been hanging out with new friends, and during the day they busied themselves by putting in some major hours in the studio with Gustavo, as well as enjoying their new apartment, which was gloriously and fantastically the coolest place any of them had ever lived in.
While Kendall did spend time with the guys studying for school, sharing a bathroom in the morning, or doing stupid and crazy things to make other peoples' lives hell, there was always that same ticking in the back of his head that he couldn't stand to get rid of. He felt like part of his mind was trapped in the same old mentality he had when he started writing that letter to Stella, him figuring that his father had sent her down to him as a way to further cope with his loss. It was a thought Kendall had been so accustomed to for so long, he knew it would take more than a week to totally demolish the idea of Stella all together, he just didn't want to believe it. Luckily, Kendall had his friends and family by his side to talk sense into him, and to heal all the wounds he had been scarred with, even before the Christmas holiday.
The weather was turning even warmer in California, seeing as that they were now heading into the month of April, where the seventy degree mark in California had the possibility of rising to eighty, even ninety degrees on a good day. Meanwhile the boys were used to the high forties and fifties of Minnesota in the month of April, along with boots and jeans, unlike the shorts and tank tops they were still not fully accustomed to wearing around the pool.
"It's so frickin' nice out," Logan said with a deep sigh, moving his hands behind his head and crossing his legs on his longue chair.
"It's California, Logie, it's always nice out," Carlos added in with a chuckle, taking a sip of his blueberry smoothie, before placing it back between his legs. Carlos adjusted his sunglasses on his face and sighed deeply, gearing his face up more towards the sun and letting the rays completely warm his already tan body.
"Oh man, I am so glad we're not in Minnesota," James added in with a smile, adjusting himself on his longue chair, his arms stretched upward laying against the back of the chair, of course having ditched his shirt upon first getting outside. "Being here makes me never want to go back," he added on.
"Oh come on, James, you don't mean that," Logan said chuckling, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in, the sun and the noises surrounding him creating the most peaceful picture in his head. "You know you miss your parents."
James shrugged, but kept a large smile on his face, almost forgetting about his little emotional breakdown before he had left, the night of his last dinner at home. It was true, he did miss his parents, but he wasn't sure he missed them as much as he loved the sun. "I guess, but how can I miss the snow, and wind, and cold when I have the sun, the pool, and girls," James chuckled out, looking next to him on the last lounge where Kendall sat less than relaxed, his sunglasses on the tip his nose, playing with his thumbs. "You know what I'm talking about, K-Dawg?" James asked him, hitting his shoulder playfully.
Kendall looked back at James with a half smile, and nodded his head, having not even fully listened to what his best friend had said anyway. Kendall sighed deeply and closed his eyes, itching at his leg awkwardly as he took in Palm Woods pool. James was right, there were a lot of girls here, a lot of suntanned beauties in skimpy bikinis, who walked around seemingly unknown to everyone else in the Palm Woods. Kendall had seen a few girls here who he had actually found somewhat attractive, a totally new feeling for him since his heart was already committed to Stella, and he had previously ignored every girl that wasn't her, like Stephanie Carter. Of course, none of the looks he had given them had been serious where Kendall would actually have the audacity to go up and start a conversation with them. He had never been one for going up to girls directly, acting like he was this confident, amazing guy and then asking them out on a date where they wouldn't be able to say no. That was strictly James' territory, something Kendall could never learn, and something he didn't care to learn.
James suddenly popped out of his chair enthusiastically with a smile on, pushing his sunglasses up into his brown locks and smiling at his friends excitedly, small sweat trickles on his arms and behind his neck.
"Who wants a smoothie?" he asked them slyly.
"Right here, dude," Logan said, raising his hand. Carlos raised his hand as well, his eyes going wide as he ravenously sucked the rest of his smoothie up into his straw, as if his life depended on it. His eyes crossed to the straw, his face completely contorted as Logan, Kendall and James looked on quite entertained.
"Carlos, relax! I'll get you another one anyway," James said, noticing the boy's wide eyes and blueberry covered mouth. With a loud, relieved sigh, Carlos detached himself from the straw, breathing heavily as he brought his hands immediately to his head in some sort of bittersweet horror.
"BRAIN FREEZE!" he exclaimed loudly, shutting his eyes tightly and massaging his temples as James and Logan laughed at their friend, Kendall not paying much attention, but smiling anyway. It was if lately, he could interact with his friends, and respond to them, but he felt like he had water in his ear, or something like that. He heard what they were saying, but couldn't fully understand it, as if he almost didn't want to understand. "Shit, it's so bad," Carlos cried out upset, hanging his head between his knees and rubbing the back of his neck as Logan rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.
"So you want another one?" James asked Carlos with a chuckle, the Latino giving James quick a thumbs up with one hand, his head still hung. James looked over at Kendall, pointing two finger guns at him with a smile.
"Strawberry or Raspberry, K-Dawg?" James asked him.
"Raspberry," Kendall replied cordially, his gaze not leaving the sky above him. James tapped his head, making a mental note, as he pointed to Kendall, Carlos and Logan in succession.
"Raspberry, Blueberry, Strawberry," he mumbled out between his lips, trying to remember which smoothies to get. "Got it."
James took a sharp turn on the heels quite flamboyantly, his arms flailing out from his body, bumping into someone by the edge of the pool.
"Wh-" was all that was heard from the girl's lips, as James ostentatious presentation of arms and confidence sent the girl flying into the cool, wet pool, a loud splash heard throughout the courtyard. James' eyes got wide, and everyone else in the Palm Woods was silent as Kendall, Logan and Carlos all sat up in their chairs, looking at the scene with awe and entertainment.
"Fuck!" James exclaimed nervously, the first thought going through his head being that the girl could've hit her head, or something else for that matter. Everyone that was around the pool waited eagerly for the girl to come up from the water, and give that new, buff, tan kid a stern talking to for pushing her into the pool.
"Look at what you did, James!" Carlos spoke out entertained, his mouth in the shape of an o as he chuckled and reveled in the pretty boy's embarrassment and worry. James leaned down to the side of the pool, nervously awaiting the girl to bring her head above the water, hoping she wasn't hurt or worse, pissed off. After a few seconds she finally did, gasping for air as she took her hand to her face, wiping the water from her eyes coughing a bit from the water that had gone to her lungs.
"Are you alright?" he asked her worried, making sure to look at her with soft eyes and a concerned smile. As she took her hand away from her face, James noticed just how beautiful the girl he pushed into the pool was. Her now soaked, dark raven hair hung long down her body, her tan shoulders and arms impeccably smooth and her dark brown eyes looking near black. She looked at James with a very pissed off face, as the boy's face softened and he swallowed hard, even more pissed off that she was pretty hot and he had done this.
"I am so sorry," James said to her in his sweetest gentlest voice, as everybody around the pool went back to their own business, the scene now being old news. He held a hand out for her as she looked at him and scoffed annoyed, taking it anyway. It was the least he could do, right?
"I wasn't planning on going in the pool today," the girl said to him, grabbing his hand tightly. James pulled her up onto the asphalt again as she groaned annoyed at him, shooting a look at the three boys who sat on their lounge chairs, running a hand through her limp, stringy hair, her eyes full of embarrassment and annoyance. James looked at her, and then back at the guys, smiling nervously.
"What if I take you out tonight, you know, to make up for…this?" he said slyly, softly reaching out to touch her arm with a smile. The girl looked up and down at James and softly pushed his tan arm off of hers, and a sly smile came to her lips.
"Why don't you take a swim instead, asshole," she chuckled darkly, "accidentally" taking James' hand by his palm, and pushing him gently over the edge of the pool, where he yelped loudly before loudly splashing into, the attention of everyone else coming back to where the pretty boy swam underwater. James bolted out into the air with a gasp, his brown hair near black and sticking to his face, as he immediately wiped the water from his eyes, Kendall, Carlos and Logan all looking up in shock at the soaking, dripping girl who stood there with a sly smile on her face.
"Dude!" Carlos exclaimed at her in entertainment and excitement, his laughter beginning to echo through the open courtyard as Kendall let out a loud burst of laughter, Logan turning to his friend in surprise. It had been a while since he heard Kendall really laugh, and the sound was music to his ears. Kendall couldn't control himself as he slapped his knee, his breathing coming heavier and heavier as he sat back on his chair, holding his stomach in glee, face turning red. Logan smiled at him, liking the once usual expression on his best friend's face and in his green eyes. He looked happy for once, even if it was just for that one moment. It was a moment free of guilt, shame and anger. Logan looked at James who looked up at the girl very confused and angry, as she quietly walked away into the lobby with a smirk on her lips as James swam to the side of the pool.
"Who the fuck does she think she is?" James asked his friends outraged, his brows furrowed together and his voice still hoarse from the pressure of the water going down his throat, coughing a few more times to clear his throat. James' eyes cast to the doors where he could still see the girl from a distance walking towards the elevators and scoffing, as he used the strength he had in his arms to push himself back up onto the asphalt. Kendall had finally calmed down a bit, tears coming from his eyes as he sat up, trying to wipe them away, a smile still across his face.
"Jeez James, looks like you swam yourself in too deep there," Carlos added with a smile, looking at the other two boys for approval for his joke. Kendall and Logan smiled at him, knowing the Latino desired their acknowledgement, and then looked back at James who stood up, and was trying his best to salvage his hair with an unamused frown on his face, biting his lower lip in anger.
"Stupid bitch, I didn't even do it on purpose, but then she had the nerve to not only reject me, but to push me into the pool when I spent TWO HOURS on my hair this morning!" James belted out angrily, as if the tall girl could hear him somehow. He scoffed again and Logan threw him a towel, James snapping it up and immediately bringing it to his hair, his dripping body soaking the edge of the pool.
"Well, I still want a smoothie, so I guess I'll go get them and let Jamie here dry off," Logan said with a snicker getting up from his longue chair and walking over to the smoothie stand.
"Tough break dude," Kendall said, trying to get all the last laughs from his mouth out, not wanting to piss James off anymore than he already had.
Carlos moved closer to the end of his seat and smiled, laughing with glee at the days events. "What hurt more man? Getting rejected or getting pushed in the pool?" he asked. James looked at Carlos with angry eyes as the Latino backed up on his chair a bit, knowing that James wasn't in the mood to joke. The pretty boy sat back on his longue chair with a deep sigh, mumbling curses and other things under his breath, as his eyes cast towards the door, as if he couldn't look away.
Kendall sat at the dining room table of 2J with a peanut butter sandwich in his hands, and a cold glass of milk in front of him, enjoying the peace and quiet of the spacious apartment. Carlos was at Palm Woods park, trying his best to somehow pick up one of the Jennifer's, James was still a bit steamed from his earlier pool fiasco, and Logan was off with Camille somewhere, probably helping her rehearse her latest audition.
Kendall's heart warmed a bit at the fact that since arriving here only a week or so ago, that Logan had taken interest in the quirky, over-the-top actress with the mean backhand. Seeing as Logan had never really been the one to be interested in girls, as well as never really having a girlfriend before, Kendall was glad to see Logan straighten his posture every time Camille was around, or make sure that his hair looked pristine when he would pass her in the Palm Woods lobby. Knowing the smart boy had a rough year so far, he constantly egged Logan on to talk to Camille, wanting him to have something to be excited about, something to look forward to, just as Kendall had about seeing Stella. That pure rush of adrenaline and excitement when the eyes lay on the one that gets your heart started, and your brain pumping with blood, tingles in parts of your body that made you feel like you were floating. Even though he didn't have it anymore, he felt that someone like Logan was just as deserving, and hopefully, his situation was less messed up than Kendall's.
Kendall took a bite of the sandwich and sighed, allowing his free hand to run through his bangs freely, pushing the long hair from his eyes with annoyance. He definitely needed some sort of haircut. Swallowing the bite of his sandwich, he reached out to take a sip of milk, the door swinging open as he brought the cup to his lips, causing him to jump, a large splatter of milk dropping down onto his jeans.
"What the hell?" Kendall exclaimed angrily and surprised, as James walked through the door with a coy smile on his face, and a swag walk into the apartment. He twirled with his arms flailed again, and confidently shut the door closed with a chuckle, watching as an annoyed Kendall stared him down, the boy gleefully gliding over to Kendall, and taking the seat across from him.
Kendall stared him down with a raised eyebrow as he wiped the milk from his pants with a bit of a scowl, James silently humming "Big Time Rush", hoping to catch Kendall's attention with his new and cheerful mood. Kendall sighed and looked at James who stared him down, smiling widely and nodding his head. Kendall rolled his eyes, obviously feeling obligated to ask as he took another bit of his sandwich and a sip of milk.
"Okay James, why are you so happy?" he asked in annoyance, his voice dragging as he took another sip of milk to wash away the peanut butter stuck to the inside of his mouth. James sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head, the purple shirt he worse cutting just far down enough for his large, tan arms to be exposed to the female gender.
"Why? Well, let's just say I have an incredibly attractive date tonight, K-Dawg," James snickered out as Kendall rolled his eyes, wondering what floozy bimbo James had picked up and where he had approached her.
"Sounds like you're guaranteeing yourself a great time with this chick," Kendall chuckled out, picking off the last pieces of his half of sandwich left, not truly paying attention to James story. It was all the same anyway. He'd take the girl out somewhere, be the perfect gentlemen to her on the first and second dates, and then by the third, he'd sweet talk her right into bed, knowing that no one could truly resist the Diamond charm. As long as he had a condom and a soft, sultry voice, it was a sealed deal. "Who is the poor girl?" Kendall asked chuckling as James rolled his eyes with a smile.
"Lianna Roberts," James said with a smooth smile, tapping his fingertips on the table slyly. Kendall looked at James with a confused, scrunched face and a cocked eyebrow, confused unto who the girl even was.
"And…who…is that?" he asked the brunette. James smiled and took a deep breath, reveling in the fact that he had won.
"The girl I pushed in the pool," James said proudly with a smile, tapping on the table triumphantly as Kendall's eyes got wide, totally stunned at how James had somehow managed to score a date with this beautiful, tall, hot girl who had almost wrung his neck nearly hours ago. He held the table confused, making sure he had heard right the name that came from James' lips.
"How…the hell did you convince her to go out on a date with you?" Kendall asked in awe, scraping the last few crumbs from his sandwich down his mouth, taking the last few sips of his milk.
"I'm just that amazing," James spoke out with a chuckle, tapping on the table for emphasis, crossing his legs and tipping his chin up into the air. Kendall sat back in his chair, putting his empty cup down and staring at his best friend with wonder and suspicion.
"So, when are you aiming to sleep with her?" Kendall asked snidely. James looked at the boy like he was foreign, and had no idea what he was talking about it, and Kendall scoffed, looking at James directly in the eyes, as the brunettes gaze relaxed a bit and he smiled and chuckled, knowing Kendall had him figured out.
"I don't know, whenever I can. I mean, I haven't gotten a good lay in about…jeez, it's been a long while," James spoke realizing it with a bit of shock. Kendall laughed a bit at the boy's astonishment as James looked at Kendall and swallowed hard, very confused and out of his element. Kendall chuckled a bit and sighed, looking down at his empty plate with a small smirk on his lips, as James sighed and looked at Kendall intently. He could tell that something was going on his blonde friend's head, and being in the great mood he was in, he decided to test Kendall, and see if he could get anything out of the boy who he knew was still hurting.
"Watcha thinking about, Kendall?" he asked him. Kendall sighed and looked up at James, with those green puppy dog eyes that carried all of Kendall's emotions, only if they weren't already spread across his face. Kendall sat up more straight, and looked over both shoulders as if he and James were about to make a shifty drug deal. Kendall sighed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
"James, when you…have sex with a girl, how is it that you…distance…yourself from her?" Kendall asked curiously and a bit embarrassed. James sighed loudly and chuckled at his friend, about to invest his words of wisdom to his best friend, the secret that James had learned long ago.
"I just…don't care," James stated simply with a smile on his face. Kendall looked at him confused and raised an eyebrow with a small sarcastic laugh, not believing the boys words.
"Uh, what do you mean?" he asked clueless. James sighed and sat more forward, locking his eyes with Kendall's, trying to get the point across and act as serious as he could.
"I just, I don't care," he stated again with a small smile on his face. "I don't cuddle after wards, I don't make it all special and whisper in the girls ear that she is the love of my life, none of that relationship bullshit," James stated clearly, making sure Kendall knew his conditions. Kendall was intrigued by James' sexual rules, having never even really talked to him about sex, aside from the first time had engaged in the act a few years back. "It's pure foreplay, a few nice comments her way, fucking her like it's my job, and then giving her a kiss before sending her on her way," James said with an accomplished smile, as Kendall breathed out, a bit disgusted by James comment.
"And…the fact that you are…temporarily inside this girl, and you're physically…one with her means…absolutely nothing?" Kendall asked James, trying his best not to sound judgmental. Kendall wasn't here to judge at all. All he wanted was to understand how James could view sex with a girl so casually, while Kendall making love to Stella was easily one of the best and most memorable experiences of his life, and it was slowly tearing him apart. It wasn't like Kendall was planning on having sex with a random girl and then distancing himself from her to forget about Stella. James smiled and chuckled at the boy.
"Oh, Kendall, you are such a romantic," James joked out, as if he were talking to someone who was years younger than him. Kendall was a little annoyed at his patronizing tone, furrowing his thick eyebrows at the pretty boy who as careless as he was, caught on to his friend's displeased stare quickly. He straightened up in his chair, staring Kendall in the eye with a slacked jaw and serious eyes. "That's what differs between me and you, dude. You have the open heart, and the belief in love to actually care about the girl who is underneath you. And I-I just don't," James admitted honestly, his hazel eyes shining in the light.
Kendall truthfully looked into James eyes, and under the rough exterior, he could tell there was a beating heart in there. There was no way James could forever distance himself from the girls he slept with. Maybe now, maybe in a few years, but one day, Kendall just knew that James would meet this girl that would make him re-examine every thought about love he ever had in that pretty little head of his. There was no way James could live in the same house with his parents, and not think that he'd really find it someday.
"So tell me dude, you never really told me about your whole sexual experience with Stella. Why don't you spill, especially since the Virgin Marys aren't around," James said, poking fun at the innocent Logan and Carlos. Kendall chuckled a bit at the harsh, but playful nickname that James had given his two virgin best friends, and looked down at his fingers, playing with them nervously.
"I-I don't know, James. It's—personal," Kendall said softly, biting his lower lip just thinking about the intimate times he and Stella had together over his stays at Thief River Falls.
"Oh come on, I never held one thing back about my sex life," James argued with wide eyes and slumped shoulders with a chuckle as Kendall scoffed at him with a surprised face.
"Dude, we never ask about your sex life! You tell us voluntarily, and believe me, your stories have definitely scarred not only me, but Carlos and Logan as well," Kendall joked out with laughter, as James joined in, realizing the blonde was right. There were many times James would regale the group with his tales of having sex in alleyways between the school buildings, empty classrooms, and his parents' bed.
"Well that's only because I have some pretty sick stories, K-Dawg, and don't even try to tell me that I don't," James said smiling, pointing a stern finger at the blonde boy. Kendall put his hands up in innocence and laughed as James nodded, the two boys smiling at each other and Kendall sighing deeply. "Come on, dude. This will help. I mean, you said that you wanted to see her as less pure and perfect," James said. "This is your chance! Talk about her like she's a hooker or something," he joked out with a smile. Kendall looked at James, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow.
"When did I ever say that?" Kendall asked. James sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, flinging his hand back.
"Logan told me, but that's beside the point, man. This could help you, I'm telling you," James chuckled out.
As much as it was true that he loved Stella, maybe talking about her would spark something in Kendall to further want to forget about her. Maybe he needed to talk about her like James talked about his girlfriends, the way guys in the locker room back home in Minnesota talked about the girls they hooked up with at parties. Maybe the first step to totally detaching himself from Stella was to talk about her like she was just a normal girl. Not the love of Kendall's life, not the only girl he could ever see himself with, and not the girl he wanted to marry someday. Just a girl he had lost his virginity to a few months back who had given him a good time. Seeing Stella as this beautiful angel sent down from Heaven was just too much glory for the girl that had shattered Kendall's heart. Kendall looked up at James with a small, sly smile and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Well uh, w-what do you wanna know?" Kendall asked him, unsure where this conversation was going. Luckily, Kim and Katie were out for the day, trying to find Katie a spot in a TV ad so she could successfully attend school at the Palm Woods with the rest of the boys. James tucked his chair in closer to the table and chuckled, rubbing his hands together, excited to get the real dirt on Stella.
"Uh…everything man! How did it all go down? Did you pounce? Did she do anything…freaky?" he asked eagerly with shining eyes. Kendall chuckled nervously and bit his lower lip, closing his eyes and thinking back, a goofy smile on his face and a chuckle sneaking past his teeth. "Uh oh, what are you thinking about?" James asked entertained, giving him a quick punch on the shoulder from across the table. Kendall smiled at James and raised his eyebrows bashfully.
"It was definitely…definitely a good time," Kendall chuckled out, his cheeks turning a bit flush. "She was…she wasn't nervous which was good, and she was actually really…accepting...of my…body," Kendall said making his eyes wider at the emphasized word, James understanding with a chuckle.
"She was a virgin and she was 'accepting?'" James asked of the boy in air quotes, sparing him the dirty language. "Wow dude. That almost never happens. They're usually vacuumed sealed," James joked. Kendall shrugged modestly, feeling a bit of pride of how he and Stella had made love so easily and effortlessly the first time. "How many times did you guys…?" James asked curiously. Kendall didn't even have to hesitate.
"Seven," he spoke out confidently nodding his head. "Seven between my first visit, and my last visit," he corrected himself, making sure James wouldn't bang out some rude comment about how many times he frequented her, even though he knew it was cooking up in the brunette's head anyway.
"Damn, look at you. I knew we called you K-Dawg for a reason," James joked out playfully. Kendall shrugged again, swallowing hard, as his mind tried his hardest to forget about the first time they had passionately made love in the cabin on Christmas Eve, and more towards their more comfortable sex in the deserted house before their fight only a few days later.
"Yeah it was…well, they were all different in their own ways, cause…well, yeah," Kendall said nervously, checking the door again, making no one was disturbing the explicit conversation going on between him and James. "We actually, went on a walk one of the first days we met back up, and we were uh, passing this old abandoned house," Kendall said looking down, smiling at the memory as James listened eagerly. "And we got inside, and we were kinda just playing around, flirting a bit and then, one thing led to another and…we were on the counter," Kendall chuckled out, seeing as the position they had sex in was so awkward when he thought about it, but so right in that moment. "I actually, well, we went twice that night, cause, I don't know, I guess it was the first time I had seen her in a while, and I was more eager than usual," Kendall said closing his eyes with a smile, his mind reverting back to that night as his blood began to get warm with passion, "and gosh she was just…fucking hot as hell, James," Kendall mumbled out, his face red but a smile spread across it at the increased ecstasy the two lover's had encountered their second time around that night at the house. "I just, I couldn't control myself looking at her, so submissive, begging me to be inside her," Kendall said softly, his eyes widening at the surprise he felt talking about Stella so sexually.
James laughed out loud and slammed his fist on the table proudly, smiling at Kendall like he had a son who had brought home an A+ history exam. "Well how about that, man. Look at you goin' hard twice in a row," James said, Kendall finally locking eyes with the boy, his heart still beating fast. He had never ever called Stella hot, or used that word to describe her beautiful face, pale blonde locks and sweet supple lips. She was never hot, always beautiful.
Kendall hoped talking like this would be worth it.
It had to be.
Carlos sat on the couch with Logan, the two opposite boys doing two opposite things. Logan was curled up in the corner of the couch with his A encyclopedia, his reading glasses tipped on his nose to see the fine print extra clearly, so he wouldn't miss a thing. Carlos however was chopping the heads of radioactive Zombies in the new videogame he had just purchased and had been playing non-stop. Seeing as the noise didn't really bother Logan all that much, and Kendall and James were both down at the pool on this hot day, and he really didn't want to be cooped up in his room all day, he'd figured he'd spend some time with Carlos, the two boys gradually and occasionally talking and laughing with each other while they happily did their own thing. It was the way in which Logan and Carlos interacted, and for some reason, it just worked for them as best friends.
"Oh, I'm so close to the next levellllllll….." Carlos groaned out with a determined look on his face, his hands nearly white from the pressure he was using to press the A button on the controller, his eyes up at the screen with intensity. Sensing Carlos' excitement, Logan looked up from his book to see that Carlos was indeed only two kills away, and a few feet from the next portal unto where he would continue on in the game, beating the first sixteen levels with pure ease and skill.
Suddenly, the phone rang.
"Logie get the phone!" Carlos screamed out in desperation, his eyes squinted and his hands shaking as he pressed the buttons on the controlled rapidly, trying to hold up his invisibility shield from the alien life forms that were attacking him. Logan rolled his eyes and smiled at the Latino's attempts to save himself which obviously were going to fail. He leaned over to the table and picked up the cordless which was blinking orange and picked it up with a sigh.
"Hello?" he asked, his attention directed towards the television which was blinking red at Carlos' health.
"Fuck!" he exclaimed loudly at the television, as it went black and the death music played, Carlos angrily throwing down his controlled next to him with a sad, pouted face.
"Logan? Hey, it's Mr. Garcia," Peter said into the phone a bit nervously, not having talked to any of his sons friends in a while. Logan was a bit surprised at the sound of Peter's voice, not having really heard it in a while, however the voice brought back good memories to the boy, the ones where Carlos' father had told the boys stories about how he had saved the day and caught the bad guy.
"Oh, hey Mr. Garcia, how are you?" Logan asked cordially, Carlos' gaze turning to one of confusion that his dad would call the house phone. Carlos' eyes got wide and he sighed, his hand feeling around next to him for his cell phone which was charging in the next room.
"Good, son. Is Carlos there?" he asked with a happy voice.
"Yeah sure, I'll put him right on," Logan said with a smile, Carlos' face lighting up as Logan passed him the phone.
Peter had kept true to his promise, and instead of checking up on Carlos every week he was Hollywood, it was now two to three times a week. Carlos would tell his dad everything about California that had glimpsed with even the slightest eye. He'd tell Peter all about the girls, and the palm trees, the weather, the palm woods, Gustavo, Kelly, their boss Griffin, their apartment, Logan's new "girlfriend", and everything and anything else he possibly could. It was as if the increase in miles between Carlos and Peter somehow brought them closer than they ever could have imagined. Carlos had begun to feel more and more comfortable since he and his father's talk the night before he left. Of course, it wasn't like everything was fine and dandy. Marta was never brought up in conversation, and if she was, her name was echoed by a long awkward silence, that neither of the Garcia men truly knew how to break, only lamely cracking a joke, or by eliciting some kind of noise that would initiate a conversation about what bodily function it corresponded with.
"Hey dad," Carlos said quite cheerful, taking the phone against his ear and immediately springing up from the couch. While it wasn't like their phone calls were secrets to the boys, Carlos always preferred some sort of privacy when he talked on the phone to anyone, even though he knew Logan would more concentrated on his encyclopedias than what Carlos was saying to his father.
"Hey, mijo. I tried ringing your cell phone like usual but there was no answer. I wanted to call before I have to head out to work," Peter said with a chuckle. Carlos' eyes went up to the small clock above the stove and he sighed deeply, noting it was already almost 6 here, meaning it was nearing around 7ish in Minnesota, meaning his dad was taking the night shift again.
"Night shift, again?" Carlos asked a bit nervously. While Peter Garcia had always been a brave soul on the police force, even when he and Carlos weren't talking at all after he had left, Carlos still stayed up late, worrying about him, and if this time the bad guy was going to win. It was always a deep seated fear in the bottom of the young boys heart, but Peter had always reassured him, even when he was just barely big enough to understand what wearing the blue uniform actually meant.
"Yeah, but it'll be very quiet tonight, Carlos. Don't worry," Peter said with a chuckle. "Sometimes, you remind me so much of your mother with your worrying son," he added on, the awkward silence beginning to draw out between them. Carlos would give it a few seconds as he tapped the counter softly, deciding whether to yawn, or cough, ultimately gearing the phone call in a direction of sleeping habits, or the smoggy air in California. However, none were needed.
Just as Carlos was about to cough, Peter spoke.
"H-how is your mother?" he asked Carlos.
Carlos' eyes got a bit wide at the question as he leaned against the counter casually, crossing one arm over his chest with a million things going on in his head. Out of all the times Carlos had talked to his father, for as long as he could remember, Peter never brought up Marta intentionally, or asked how she was doing. Peter might've thrown around "Oh, your mother is well, right?" hoping to just be polite and respectful of the mother of his child to make up for the all times he screamed at her in front of his son, but this, this was different.
"I uh, talked to her this morning. She's good," Carlos said a bit confused, scratching his head at the question. Peter sighed and swallowed hard on the other end of the phone.
"T-that's good, I just, I know that you were nervous about leaving her, and I just wanted to make sure she was doing alright," he said, making it clear that the question was purposefully geared towards Carlos' relationship with his mother, rather than Peter's personal relationship with Marta.
"Yeah, she misses me a lot, but she's been doing good. Some of the girls from the office took her out for drinks the other night to cheer her up a bit, and she's been talking to abeula a lot in her new retirement home in Florida, so that's good," Carlos said nodding his head, looking straight ahead as he held the phone closer to his ear.
"Oh, well that's good for her," Peter said with a smile over the phone. Carlos nodded, and the awkward silence began to play out again, the static from the phone tingling each of the Garcia men's ears. Carlos took a deep breath and so did Peter, the silence being more comfortable than usual.
"So, how is everything by you?" Carlos asked with a smile, hoping to hear some tales about how his father had locked another robber in jail, or pinned a carjacker to the ground. Peter awkwardly cleared his throat and sighed with a smile, making sure to word this correctly, seeing that now was the time to tell his son about the woman in his life.
"I uh…I actually have been…seeing someone," Peter said awkwardly into the phone, causing Carlos' heart to stop beating for a second. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, making sure that he had heard exactly what his father was saying correctly. His father had…a girlfriend?
"Y-you have a girlfriend?" Carlos asked a bit surprised, swallowing hard at just the fact that he was talking to his father about girls. It was supposed to be the other way around. Peter was supposed to be shocked that Carlos had a girlfriend. Taking a second to let this register, Carlos couldn't help but feel like crying. While his mother and father had been over for some time, even before the divorce, deep inside the bottom corner of his heart, he always had some little frayed spark of hope that just maybe his parents could somehow get back together. But now, it just wasn't happening at all. It wasn't that Carlos was angry that Peter had a girlfriend, more just surprised than anything.
"Well, yeah," Peter chuckled out a bit embarrassed over the phone. "Do you?" he asked his son, trying his best to add some comic relief into the conversation. Carlos laughed out awkwardly a soft no and Peter added an "ohh" to relieve some of the tension. "Well don't worry son, a few more months in California and you'll be attracting the ladies everywhere," Peter said in a proud, happy voice. Carlos nodded softly, still not being able to get his mind off the fact that his father had a girlfriend. I mean sure, Carlos knew his father had been on dates before, but he had never bothered to introduce or really formally acknowledge them in front of the boy before, no matter how young or old he was.
"So…what is her name?" Carlos asked awkwardly, wanting to find out more about this girl his father was seeing. Peter took a deep sigh and was smiling over the phone, knowing that his son would be a little weary about this, but hoping for the best, seeing as he had never been with another woman before since his son had been born.
"Her name is Gabriela," Peter said with a chuckle. "I met her a few months ago at a traffic stop." Carlos was silent, picturing how this woman looked in his head. Was she a few years older than him, or a few years younger than his father? Did she have kids? Was she tall, short? Was she black, white, Spanish, Asian? Carlos had no idea what to expect from this, it all coming suddenly out of the blue, even though his father had known her for a few months. He hadn't even realized how much he was thinking about this until his father noticed he had been silent for more than awkwardly necessary between them. "Mijo, everything alright?" he asked softly. Carlos snapped back to reality and chuckled, swallowing hard and rubbing his hair.
"Yeah, yeah I-I'm fine, I just zoned out sorry," he said nervously, acting like it was no big deal that his father had just dropped a long term girlfriend on him. Peter sighed deeply.
"Listen son, I-I know that I haven't ever really had a girlfriend before since me and your mother split up, and I just…" he trailed off, pausing for a bit, "I just want to make sure that you're okay with all of this. I mean, Gabriela is a very kind, special woman. She has a son a few years younger than you," Peter said, as if it was supposed to make any doubt or fear Carlos had about this relationship suddenly disappear into thin air. Carlos nodded and smiled, trying his best to fight the inner demons that made him just want to crawl up into a hole and die on the phone with his father. "I've told her a lot about you, I mean, since your becoming famous and all, and she really would love to meet you sometime. ," Peter said soulfully with glee as Carlos nodded, gripping onto the counter a bit tighter than usual. His knuckles turned a bit white again, but from a totally different frustration than the video game.
The spark just kept getting smaller and smaller, fizzling out before Carlos' eyes.
"Yeah, I-sure, uh, whenever I see you next then I guess," Carlos said awkwardly, biting his lower lip, his breaths a little heavier than usual. Carlos swallowed hard and sighed deeply, scratching his head and closing his eyes. He wanted this phone call to end so he could just sit down on the couch, and think about this. His father had a girlfriend, someone he was kissing, and caring about other than his mother. Seeing his father's anger, and hearing his screams, Carlos didn't really think it possible that his father could truly love another woman again…except for the love that he had with Marta. "Uh listen dad, Mrs. Knight is just about to put down some dinner, I'll call you soon?" Carlos lied rushedly, tapping his foot against the wood floor upset.
"Sure thing son," Peter said. "Have a good night."
"You too dad, be safe," Carlos said quickly into the phone, hanging it up right after the words left his mouth. He slammed the phone down on the counter with a mix of anger and sadness as Logan looked up from his book, looking at Carlos' sunken back, the boy's hands covering his face.
"Yo, Carlitos," Logan called across the room, closing his A encyclopedia, and placing it down next to him, using a sheet of math formulas he had printed to study from as a bookmark. Carlos didn't answer, but turned around and began to walk back towards him with a sullen, confused look on his face. "What's wrong man?" Logan asked as the boy neared him, and collapsed down on the couch upset and exhausted.
"My father has a girlfriend," Carlos said dryly and confused, looking up at Logan with a bemused face on. Logan sighed deeply and let out a small chuckle, feeling the other boy's pain.
"Well, welcome to the club," Logan said sitting more back on the couch, and taking off his reading glasses with ease. Carlos sighed out deeply, and covered his mouth with his hand, taking a deep breath and sighing, obviously in deep thought about all of this.
"I just—I guess I never really thought about him having a serious girlfriend, you know? I know he has gone out on dates, and I know he has dated someone for like maybe two months the longest, but this girl, he's actually…serious about her," Carlos said dumbfounded, as if the possibility of his father having a girlfriend was as impossible as reaching the moon. Carlos slumped down more in his chair, resting his hands on his thighs and looking up at the ceiling with a confused face on. "And he's met her kid, and, he's told her about me," Carlos said confused, scrunching his face up.
Logan let out a small scoff and chuckle and smiled at his friend, raising his eyebrow. "Just be lucky that your parents are divorced and your dad is seeing someone else," Logan said bitterly, the anger and passion about his father's mistress rising up from the place he had hidden it since coming out to California. That was the one excellent thing about Logan. Sometimes he failed at it, in front of people like his mother and maybe the guys, but if Logan wanted to lock a feeling away and never tap into it again, he could do it. However, even the slightest tap would send the negativity rushing back through his veins, right up to his head where it would bring back all those feelings he felt, maybe even worse.
"Yeah, I know, but still it's—it's weird, you know?" Carlos told Logan, almost afraid to tell the boy of his childhood dream, still kept electrified in the bottom of his heart. Carlos sighed and looked at the smart boy with an innocent half grin. "I guess…I always thought that maybe, just somehow, someway my parents would find that thing they love about each other so much, the thing they found back in college and just rediscover all those feelings they felt, you know?" Carlos told Logan, trying to get the words out without being stupid. "I know it sounds stupid, but I just always hoped that I'd get a happy ending with my family. That my mom would find the man that she fell so madly in love with. That maybe as I got older, they would go back to normal since I could fend for myself," Carlos said softly. "I felt like…I was almost the reason they broke up," he chuckled out sadly, swallowing hard, not even realizing his feelings until he said them out loud.
"That's not a stupid thought Carlos, and you did not break-up your parent's marriage, buddy. Don't think that," Logan said affectionately, moving closer to his best friend on the orange couch. Carlos sighed out deeply, hanging his head down, trying to hold back the tears he felt were coming.
"I just feel like sometimes," he said a bit wearily, lifting his head back up and sighing deeply, "if I hadn't been born, they'd be happier or something. Or that maybe if I'd been a better kid, and listened more they wouldn't have yelled at each other so much." Logan chuckled.
"Well you were a pretty rotten kid," he joked out, causing Carlos to chuckle, and dip his head down again. Logan cupped his shoulder with a sad, sympathetic smile and sighed deeply. "I know it sucks to think that your dad this girl now, and that your parents are never gonna happen again, but, it's just life Carlos. It's just the way love works," Logan said softly, staring down at his shoes, reflecting on his own experiences. "Look at my experience," he said.
Carlos looked up at Logan with confused eyes and chuckled. "Your…experience? With love?" he asked with a crinkled nose. Logan rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Well my parent's experience. I mean, my mom and dad were in love for like what?...forever? And it just sort of…fizzled out. My dad just stopped caring about her, and he stopped caring about me, and he went to go take care of his business elsewhere," Logan said bitterly, adding a sarcastic chuckle at the end. His father hadn't tried to contact him since he had left, Logan guessing that his mother had told him his son didn't want anything to do with him. "I mean, I'm sure my parents were in love at one time, but I mean, it makes sense to me now. My mom always thought my dad and her were a match made in heaven and look it where it left her? A single mother with a son who isn't even living at home anymore," Logan whispered quietly to his best friend, swallowing the tears in his throat from the sadness he felt about the subject.
Logan turned to Carlos and sighed deeply. "It's just the fact that…true love doesn't exist, Carlos. Yeah, maybe love exists somewhere, but…it just…" Logan tried to get out softly, biting his lower lip with determination.
"It doesn't last," Carlos whispered out between thin lips. He looked up at Logan and sighed deeply, both of the boys reveling in each other's sorrows, and joys, exchanging big smiles at their new found common ground.
"Exactly. Look at Kendall and Stella," Logan said with a soft scoff, sighing deeply and running his hands through his hair. "Kendall deludes himself into thinking it is true love, and maybe it was that week, and then he gets his heart shattered into a million pieces by this girl, and he is still trying to pick them up," Logan said, shaking his head disapproving the situation. "But the poor kid doesn't know any better, because he wants to believe it was true love so badly," Logan sighed out loud, quite miserably.
"I know, that's rough," Carlos said softly, looking down and fiddling with his thumbs. Both boys sat back on the couch and looked at each other with smile, knowing they had found comfort in each other, knowing that this was the reason why they were best friends.
"Do you think…we'll ever fall in love Logan?" Carlos asked hopefully, looking at the older boy with a gleam in his eye. Logan sighed and shrugged, making himself more comfortable on the couch.
"I don't know, Carlos. I mean, you hear that so many people fall in love, and get married, but, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Love doesn't find everyone, and even it does, God knows it won't last," he said, looking down and picking at his fingernails awkwardly. Carlos nodded and looked over at Logan with an upset, scrunched up face.
"You know, I still don't believe in this whole Stella/Kendall debacle, but now that I realize it, I-I really don't believe in this love Kendall talks about at all, man. I mean, I've always seen myself with some kinda family in the future, but now I feel like I'm waking up and realizing that it doesn't matter what happens, love just screws everything up," the boy said, the words coming from his mouth easily. "You guys are gonna be my family," he whispered softly. Logan nodded in agreeance, looking over at Carlos with a small smile, seeing the boy's face change completely from innocent and wondering to aged and knowing. Logan rested his hand on Carlos' neck and squeezed it with a friendly demeanor.
"That may have been the smartest thing you've ever said, buddy."