A/N: I think you guys will enjoy this chapter of Hooked. It's very James/Logan centric, and less Kendall centric ;D Enjoy!
And of course like always, enjoy this wonderful snippet from waterwicca's Past The Sorrow which you should read foreber
On the drive over, Kendall even talked himself into believing this might be a good experience for him, but, almost as soon as he arrived, he remembered why he never fit in with his peers in Ramsey, North Dakota… They were all too normal; too innocent, foolish, and ignorant to the real, dark, cruel world that they were a part of. Kendall has seen the darkness, and you can't pretend that is doesn't exist once you've been in the thick of it. In all honesty, he was a little jealous of the other teens, especially the young, blissful couples. He and Sage deserved that…
Kendall parked his car on the edge of the large and secluded property. The party location was on the outskirts of town on an abandoned plot of land. There was an old, condemned house that had never been torn down, and the teenagers of Ramsey declared it their official party house. The grass outside was already littered with garbage, random blue and red plastic cups contrasting with the green grass sprouting with the approaching spring season. Candles and lanterns illuminated the interior of the shabby gray house while the exterior was bright with the headlights of dozens of cars parked crookedly around the grass and dirt driveway set back almost a hundred yards from the main road and hidden in the surrounding forest.
As he moved through the crowd, receiving random greetings from his peers and teammates, Kendall could only think of Sage. He missed her, and his hands itched without her body against them. He made it up the porch and over the wide open threshold before his phone vibrated in his pocket.
"Stop thinking about me and have fun!" Sage texted him. Kendall rolled his eyes and replied back quickly.
"Fine! But I don't have to like it. I already see Caleb and Samantha glaring at me… You owe me big time. You're lucky I love you ;D"
Kendall saw no need in lying. She could always tell anyway. It only took less than a minute for her to reply.
"The luckiest… I love you too :)"
Kendall smiled softly, wishing he could kiss Sage, as he slipped his phone back into his jeans, keeping his agitated hands tucked deep in his pockets. He surveyed the open room around him. It seemed as if, with all of the exposed beams and broken drywall, the first floor used to be many smaller rooms but was now one, big, dirty space. The stairs were blocked by piles of wood, everyone agreeing that partying on the second floor of a condemned house would be a bad idea. Caleb Glickman, Samantha Carson, and all of their minions stood near a blazing fireplace guzzling alcohol like they needed it to survive. Kendall snickered to himself. With Caleb's bitch of a mother and Samantha's generally shitty attitude, maybe they did need it… Maybe all of these teens around him coped with life in different ways: alcohol, drugs, sex… Kendall was grateful that he had -
"You're missing Sage, aren't you?" Dustin suddenly appeared beside him with a friendly smirk, wordlessly handing Kendall a water bottle, knowing that, like himself, the boy preferred not to partake in the more dangerous aspects of partying.
"Thanks…" Kendall smiled and took the cold bottle into his fidgeting hands, "… How did you know?" He asked curiously. Dustin seemed to be a naturally calm and perceptive guy, but Kendall didn't think he was being that obvious.
"You got that same goofy look on your face you always have when we're on the ice and you look up at her in the stands," he laughed and swept the brown hair away from his eyes as he took a sip from his own water bottle. Kendall laughed and shrugged, only amused that he wasn't as good at hiding it as he thought. There are worse things to be bad at…
"I just hate spending time away from her," he admitted sheepishly, tossing the bottle back and forth between his restless hands, trying to occupy his mind with something else other than the beautiful blonde girl.
"You act like you see her all the time. It's not like she lives with you," Dustin joked, punching his arm playfully.
"Yeah…" Kendall laughed nervously and shook his head. Everyone knew that he and Sage were unnaturally close, but no one knew of their unconventional living arrangements.
Yes! You love this so please read AND review! It would make BOTH of us EXTRA happy :D
And now, here is the next installment of Hooked. Don't be afraid to read and review, please! I love your reviews, and I've gained some new reviewers that I love :]
I don't own anything except Stella and my other OC's.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Markings of True Love
The four boys sat at the breakfast table the following morning, each with different expressions on their faces for all different reasons. Each of them had their own good, bad, sad or interesting time last night, and the four hadn't been face to face with each other since laying out at the pool the day before.
Carlos looked absolutely exhausted. The usually tight, healthy skin of the Latino was now dark and baggy under his eyes, the usual sparkle in his iris gone as he lazily scooped up his cereal with his spoon, watching as his oats fell down into the milk with a small splash, sighing deeply. Carlos rested his elbow on the table lazily, leaning on his hand with a sigh. He had stayed up past two last night, trying his hardest to beat the next to last level of his new game. He had emptied out an entire bag of pretzels and three cans of soda before finally calling it quits around 2:15, with a full, bubbly stomach and a migraine beyond all belief. Logan had left him around 9:30 to go grab coffee with Camille downstairs, and while Carlos was a bit saddened to be alone, he realized that now he had no distractions in trying to beat the game. Now, with only five hours of sleep, Carlos knew that it was a horrible idea, especially with the fact that the boys were due in the studio today. Gustavo was cranky to begin with, seeing as the boys were just starting out, and he knew that his less than desirable producer would be less than pleased with his demeanor.
"Ugh. It's so fuckin' early," Carlos grumbled out, causing Katie, who sat at the opposite head of the table, to perk up head with a raised eyebrow at the curse. She chuckled at the boy's exhaustion, and his use of the curse word, always finding it funny how the boys let themselves go in front of her.
"Language!" Kim said sternly from the kitchen, unloading the steaming hot dishwasher.
Next to Carlos was Logan, who was positively shining with radiance. His big brown eyes were fresh and excited as he bit his plump lower lip, holding back a shy smile. His right hand rested on the side of his pale neck, rubbing it gently and anxiously. He scooped his cereal with his right, gently shoveling it into his mouth and eating silently, trying to avoid the stares of everyone else, keeping to himself in his own little bubble. What the boys didn't know was that after Logan and Camille had gotten coffee downstairs, Camille had invited Logan back to her apartment to hang out for a little while, seeing as it was only ten when they had finished their lattes. After the two settled on the couch, talking and laughing, with Logan's arm slowly coming around Camille's pasty white shoulders, they began to kiss. There was Logan, on a couch, with a beautiful girl, making out with her like there was no tomorrow. Seeing as Logan had only kissed one girl before, and it wasn't a true kiss, he was elated walking in the door of 2J at nearly 11, his lips a bit swollen, and a large, purple and red bruise on his neck. He thankfully was able to hide it from Kim upon walking in the door, and heading straight to his room with a simple goodnight, but now, even after coating it with some the cover-up she kept under the bathroom sink, Logan's little love bite was totally visible.
James sighed deeply and went to spoon his cereal in his mouth, hitting Logan's elbow in the process, causing his spoonful to splatter onto the middle of the table, causing James to get wide-eyed and angry. Ever since his date with Lianna last night, if you could even call it a date, James had been on edge. After their talk in the restaurant, both had agreed it was way too awkward to sit down and enjoy a dinner together, especially since the food was so expensive there. James and Lianna rode back to the Palm Woods in the limousine silently, the boy twiddling his thumbs and pulling at his shirt collar upset, his mind racking with uncertainties about this. While the two teens, for the lack of embarrassment, tried their best to conjure up some sort of conversation, nothing worked. Everything hit some sort of a dead end, whether it was music, or people they had seen at the restaurant, or even just the weather, it fell flat, usually on James' part. What made it even ten times worse was that James couldn't take his eyes off Lianna, especially when she looked out the window with those eyes. Those eyes that begged to see the Palm Woods in the distance, as she itched under her dress at her leg, James not being able to take his eyes off the beautiful creature in front of him. He drank her up delicious presence greedily, biting his lower lip with frustration and confusion the entire ride there. Fearing returning back not even an hour after his departure, James strolled around Palm Woods park silently, still dressed in the button down shirt and slacks he wore, his head hung the entire way.
Kim sighed, closing the dishwasher.
"Katie, make sure the boys put their stuff in the dishwasher when you're done," she spoke out with a smile, passing the boys and Katie, planting a kiss on the top of her daughter's head and going into her room to do some laundry.
"Sure thing," Katie spoke out with delightful smile, looking at Carlos who seemed totally beyond out of it.
"What'd she say?" he asked Katie confused, the side of his face red from the mark of his hand. Katie did nothing but roll her eyes, as James and Logan again had a clashing of arms, causing more of the agitated boy's cereal to fall on the table.
"Dude, move your fuc-rickin' elbow," James caught himself annoyed, nudging Logan's elbow, and violently shifting the boy's elbow to fall down. His hand taken away from his neck, Logan revealed a large, purple bruise in which he quickly hurried to cover up. Both Carlos and James' eyes got wide, as Kendall stared down into his cereal, totally oblivious to the whole situation
That dream had really thrown the boy for a loop.
It was everything he had ever wanted in that dream. It was seeing Stella, in the house he later figured out to be the abandoned house they had been intimate in, so beautiful and healthy, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. It was seeing his father clearer than Kendall ever had in a dream, actually feeling his touch, and smelling his scent. What did the dream mean? Was it because he talked about Stella today? Or was it because of the talk with his mom? He hadn't the slightest clue where the dream had come from in the realms of his mind, but he knew that the tightness in his chest, and the beating of his heart against his breakable ribcage was the tell-tale truth of what he had experienced. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to sleep last night, between the dream and being uncomfortable from the weather. It was all around a bad combination, and Kendall couldn't wait to take a shower and hopefully wake himself up. He sloshed his soggy cereal around in his bowl, biting his lower lip, before his thoughts were interrupted by a confused James and more energetic Carlos.
"Who gave you that?" James exclaimed loudly enough for Kim to hear in her room, Logan looking at James with a death glare, bringing his hand to his neck to cover up it again, obviously self-conscious and flustered by it. His eyes instantly shot at Katie who looked at the scene confused with a raised eyebrow, the same face on as her brother. Kendall looked at his two best friends across the table in suspicion, not understanding what James had seen, or why Logan was rubbing his neck so nervously.
"What's going on?" Katie asked them confused, Logan fretfully rubbing his neck as James turned to the girl, ready to spill Logan's secret out of envy.
"Logan has a h-"
"Uh, n-nothing, Katie. Just…guy stuff…ya know," Logan choked out nervously, looking at James annoyed and upset, the bit of radiance still showing through his skin. He furrowed his eyebrows at the pretty boy who rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair frustrated, crossing his arms across his chest. Carlos' face said it all as he gave Logan a sly punch in the upper arm, to which the boy ducked his head and looked at Carlos with a small, awkward smile. Kendall looked at Logan, having missed everything and then back at Katie, who was looking at him for some kind of answer for his best friends' odd behavior.
Kendall simply shrugged and then looked back at his friends, taking a deep sigh. "What's going on?" he asked dumbfounded. James shot Logan a nasty look, all his bottled in frustrations from the night before crashing down on him, angry at his best friend for getting some when those were his plans for the night. Failed plans, inevitably. Logan chuckled nervously, still rubbing his neck.
"Pftt, nothing," he insisted lying horribly, looking down into his cereal bowl, wanting to tell the boys, but knowing Katie was there and that she probably shouldn't hear it. Katie looked from Carlos, to Logan, to James, to her brother and sighed, shaking her head.
"Make sure you idiots put your bowls in the dishwasher when you're done," Katie told them confused, getting up from her seat and walking over to the sink, and placing her bowl in it with a loud cling. "And mine too," she added with a smile, retreating slowly into the hallway leading to her room, all eyes following her out.
"Dude, let me see!" Carlos said immediately upon her exit, hitting Logan's hand from his neck, revealing the large, red and purple hickey on his soft, pale skin. Carlos whooped, ten times more energetic than he had just been moments ago, and looked around at James and Kendall laughing. "Holy shit, Logan! Look at you!" he reveled in the boy, turning his head so the other boys could get a view of Camille's work. Kendall's eyes got a bit wide, never thinking that Logan would have a mark like that, nearly seeing teeth marks all the way up to his pulse point. He tried to remember if he had seen Logan come into their room last night, but then recalled waking up at three in the morning, the boy peacefully sleeping next to him with a smile on his face. Trying to slither from his grasp, Logan hit Carlos' hands away and immediately placed his hand back on his neck, Kendall giving Logan a chuckle of encouragement.
"Was I asleep for that long?" Kendall asked his friend, James silently staring down into his cereal bowl with an angry face on. Logan chuckled and looked at his friends, taking his hand away from his neck awkwardly and sighing.
"Camille texted me last night, and she said she wanted to go for coffee," Logan started off Carlos interrupting with raised eyebrows and a chuckle, looking at Kendall.
"Coffee," he emphasized quietly with air quotes, making Kendall smile and Logan's face turn a bit flusher and roll his eyes.
"Go on," Kendall said, tucking his arms underneath his elbows and leaning forward. He caught James' glazed over stare and was a bit confused about it, before turning his attention back to Logan fully. He figured James would be happy for Logan like he was for Kendall when they had discussed his own love life, but it was then that the blonde realized James had a date last night, and that it probably didn't go the way he wanted it to.
"Well, we had coffee, and then she invited me back up to her apartment, and…well, you can figure out the rest," Logan said bashfully, tucking his hands so they rested like Kendall's and ducking his head awkwardly Carlos giving him a strong pat on the back.
"Damn, my boy is a man," Carlos said. Kendall chuckled and smiled at him.
"Good for you, Logie. Camille's pretty cool," Kendall said with a smile, swirling his spoon back in his cereal, the now dissolving oats creating a disgusting mush in his bowl.
"Jeez, Camille's got some suction," Carlos said intrigued, arching his head to look at the marks, totally enthralled by them as Logan laughed sheepishly. Kendall looked up at James who didn't have a word to say at all, the blonde raising his eyebrow and letting out a soft chuckle, leaning over his bowl stirring aimlessly. James eyes shot up to Kendall dark, and hurt, unlike anything Kendall had ever really seen before. James looked desperate, and upset about something, and Kendall had no idea what had come over him. So many things had happened after he had gone to sleep, and it was like he was waking up with different people this morning.
"What?" James asked sharply, at the boy, his voice bitter and unsure. Kendall looked at James with raised eyebrows and scoffed a bit upset at the boy's voice.
"What happened to you last night?" Kendall asked him, causing Logan and Carlos to look over at James with curiosity. James looked at Kendall with a death glare, and then over to Carlos and Logan upset.
"Nothing happened," James said, trying to restore a cheerful demeanor towards the atmosphere of the breakfast table, but he knew that all his friends could see through him easily. They were his best friends, and knew everything about him. James sighed defeated, and slumped back in his chair upset, a pout on his face.
"What happened, man?" Carlos asked concerned, Logan's face twisting up when he saw the distress and upset on his best friend's face. James usually always had a cheery demeanor on, except for when his hair was mussed without his consent. Even if James didn't get any on dates, he would always have a positive attitude the day after, and be texting the girl compliments non-stop, hoping for a second chance the next day or the day after tomorrow. But right now, it was if James' date had showed up and was…ugly. Or a man.
"Nothing happened, alright? Nothing," James reiterated hopelessly, biting his lower lip angrily as Carlos, Kendall and Logan all gave each other wide-eyed confused stares. They assumed that James' date with Lianna hadn't gone well in the way that James wanted it too.
"But that's okay, James. I mean, you have next time. I'm sure she was just shy the first time," Logan said softly, trying to comfort his best friend with the words that he had dug for inside his own, excited soul, still replaying the events from last night over in his head.
"No, you don't get it, Logan. Nothing is going to happen, alright? Nothing will ever happen!" James told him angrily, eyeing the hickey on his neck with jealously. He sighed and hung his head on the table, the boys exchanging looks of complete confusion and curiosity for what happened between James and his date before. James had gotten shut down before, and just recently actually, but the boy always kept his head up high and never even bothered to take a second glance at the girl who said no. "Not slutty enough," he usually said with a chuckle.
"What's wrong bro?" Carlos asked him concerned. James sighed and picked his head up annoyed, looking at his friends with upset stares and glances, falling back in his chair unsure of himself.
"Nothing is going to happen with her," James said angrily, scowling at his best friends. Carlos looked at Kendall and Logan unsure of what the boy meant, as Kendall sighed deeply, taking this one by storm.
"Well, I mean, why don't you just forget about her then? I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of other girls out here, even in the Palm Woods that would want a one-time kinda deal," Kendall said with a false sense of optimism and a trace of disgust in his voice. James sighed annoyed, running his fingers through his bangs awkwardly, biting his lower lip.
Truth was, he didn't want another girl.
He wanted Lianna.
It scared James to no end that he had some sort of "feelings" for this girl, and was so distressed about their date. Normally, James would say "fuck it" and turn his attention to the next girl with long legs, and big breasts, hoping to get a chance with her. But this was like no other for the pretty boy. The image of Lianna's hurt face had stayed in his mind all night, him not being able to think of anything else. He laid in bed last night, trying to sleep, but only thinking of how Lianna had figured his game, and how he hadn't been able to think straight since she had told him. It was like she was some myriad that James couldn't figure out if his life depended on it, but thirsted for more than anything. It was a want, a desire, and a need that he had never really encountered before, and the boy knew that it was just going to get worse and worse.
"James?" Kendall asked the boy again, causing him to look up at Kendall with sad, heavy eyes, his lips pulled out into a tight, thin expression.
"She's different," James got out in a mumble, his face turning a bit red with embarrassment. Kendall raised his eyebrow at the boy, his emotionless expression starting to slowly change into a small smile.
"Uh…excuse me?" Kendall asked him, turning his head to the side confused at what he had heard clearly. James looked at Logan and Carlos, who were both confused by the boy's words. James awkwardly looked at them and sighed deeply, a small smile on his face, even though he tried his hardest to combat it.
"She's different okay?" James barked back defensively, biting his lower lip tensely. Carlos smiled, and it spread from Logan to James, to Kendall. All three boys grilled the smiling, hostile brunette in front of them, their ears not believing what they were hearing.
James had just admitted that a girl was different.
"Did that just come out of your mouth?" Logan exclaimed surprised with wide eyes, holding James' tense forearm, abandoning the rash on his neck. Carlos and Logan all leaned toward James with badgering eyes. They had never ever, not one seen James upset over a girl, and now, the first girl he tries to lay in California, he think that she is different.
"James has a girlfriend!" Carlos chanted childishly with joy, James shooting him a death glare, and pointing an angry finger at him.
"I do not have a girlfriend, alright?" James viciously barked back at him, as if the thought of a girlfriend was the worst thing in the entire world. Kendall chuckled at James defensiveness and Logan nodded at the boy, not taking his eyes off him. He was absolutely intrigued by this. Maybe California was really a new start for all of them he though, rubbing the hickey on his neck. "She's just different, that's allI said," James told the boys, extending his finger out to all of them with a threatening glare.
Kendall and Logan smirked at each other and Carlos chuckle with an animated grin on his face, the entire atmosphere of the room changing from tired and sluggish to excited and alive.
"So you have a crush on her?" Kendall toyed with him, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on his face. James rolled his eyes, biting his lower lip hard, avoiding eye-contact with the guys. He hadn't told them any of what had happened last night, and truthfully, he really didn't want to discuss it too much.
"No! I don't have anything for her, I just said she was different!" he exclaimed angrily, and upset, not wanting the rhythm of his heart when Lianna was around to deter his feelings, or expose his tiny crush to the guys. "And even if I did, I'm sure it's just cause of how hot she looked last night, so it doesn't matter anyway," James said with a tipped chin, confidently asserting his womanizing ways to his friends. Kendall looked in his eyes.
There was no way that he was telling the truth.
Kendall knew that look.
Heartbreak.
Even in the slightest degree.
"Nope. Not buying it," the blonde said sitting back in his chair with a deep sigh, as James scoffed at him, turning his attention to Carlos and Logan who both had goofy smiles on their faces. James scoffed even louder, obviously annoyed with the fact that the boys were figuring out his feelings.
"Forget it. You wouldn't understand in the slightest," James said bitterly, directing his look out to Kendall specifically. The blonde boy, taking a bit of offense, gave James an odd look, and sighed, trying to keep his anger in check.
"James, listen man, it's not a crime if you like a girl, okay? It was bound to happen sometime," Kendall said, speaking with his hands animatedly.
"I don't like her!" James exclaimed defensively and angrily, leaning more towards Kendall with fire in his eyes.
"Well then why are you so upset? Huh?" the blonde boy questioned him with a smirk, and furrowed eyebrows. James swallowed hard, and then looked over at Carlos and Logan, who were both staring at the two boys intently. There were a few moments of silence between them as James backed down from the table with a small smile on his lips, Kendall following suit with a chuckle.
"Exactly. That's what I thought."
Stella had been staying at the Knight house for a few days now, longer than she had expected to. She had figured she would move on the next day, but every time she woke up, it seemed that she couldn't part with the house, even though it was completely empty. It was as if it was the last thing she of Kendall.
She attempted to drink up every scent of him she possibly could, whether it was from his mattress, or the plaid shirt in his closet that she had taken to wearing around her frail, pale shoulders.
Every night since she had found the song, she would re-read over Kendall's messy handwriting, noticing that tear drops had stained the letter and the messy, crumpled up song paper. She would re-read the letter and close her eyes, and try to do what Kendall did, biting her lower lip and pretending it was their kiss, begging to feel Kendall's warm lips on hers.
She sat on Kendall's bed, finding a sheet from the downstairs linen closet to stretch over it, curled up in the chilly house, with Kendall's shirt over her shoulders, her tight stretch pants on, and her wet, limp hair hanging over her shoulders. She had searched the house top and bottom and hadn't found any clue to where Kendall could've been in California. There was nothing on the Knight's internet history, or any numbers to call, nothing of the sort. Stella was beginning to get discouraged that she would never find Kendall. She laid awake at night, trying her best to keep positive, taking in the scent of the plaid shirt of his, whilst laying the cardigan on the pillow next to her, nuzzling her nose into the fabric.
She looked out the window next to her, tracing the crumpled words that Kendall had written her so passionately with her lips, giving the paper soft little kisses while looking up into the stars. They stood out brilliantly against the dark black of the sky, Stella smiling at them and tracing the glass of the window pane.
They hadn't helped her lately. They hadn't given her the direction she needed since she had arrived at the Knight house. She wished that they could just form a path to wherever he was in California, and just take her to his doorstep, so she could throw her arms around his frame and sob into him.
Stella's heart ached for Kendall.
It made her want to scream at the top of her lungs without him.
The hurt she felt was like none other before. Stella had been starved, beaten, kicked, thrown and bashed, but nothing felt like she felt now. Being without Kendall was less like a kick in the head, and more like a knife through her heart. Everything hurt.
She thought about how this is what she was afraid about in the first place. Getting hurt. That's why she had tried to erase Kendall like he had never existed, the fear of falling. Stella was on the tallest building in the world with Kendall, and she was trying to get back up there, no matter how hard she had to fight.
She knew that her and Kendall couldn't be together.
She had accepted it.
But she needed to let him know that what they had was real. And she needed to let him know fast.
Logan, Kendall, and James all laid on the couch of 2J, hanging their head in exhaustion, as Carlos leaned on the coffee table in the center, barely holding himself up. They had endured a painful amount of harmonies, and dance rehearsals today, and the boys could barely move, the trek from the lobby up to 2J increasingly painful. Their muscles throbbed, their throats dry, the bottom of their feet feeling like pins and needles with each step they took.
"So…many…routines," Carlos breathed out heavily, absolutely exhausted, his head lying on the cool glass of the table. Kendall moaned out in pain, Logan in a near fetal position as James lay frozen on the couch, his breaths coming slow and steady.
"I never want to dance…again," he whispered out with wide eyes in horror, his breaths short in fear.
"I never want to move again," Kendall groaned out, rubbing the back of his neck tenderly, laying his head down on the couch in exhaustion.
"I never want to breathe again," James added in with a silent whisper Logan closing his eyes and licking his chapped lips slowly, mustering up the courage to speak.
"You just did," Logan said analytically, as James threw him an evil stare, eyes narrowed and lips tight. Logan backed off, settling his head back down on the couch.
"I'm replaying dance routines in my head, and with every twist, it's like I feel it," James said sighing, and bringing his hand to damp forehead. He moaned out as he slumped down in the couch, breaking his frozen trance.
Carlos picked his head up from the coffee table, his breaths still a bit heavy as he sighed deeply, totally disoriented from practice, his light blue shirt covered with stains of hard work. Carlos brought his shirt up to his glistening tan face and wiped it off a bit, still perspiring even after the trip from Rocque Records to the Palm Woods.
"It's like eight-million fucking degrees in here!" Carlos yelled out in anguish, Kim coming into the kitchen and placing a glass in the sink with a stern face, and a sigh.
"Language!" she said again to Carlos, the boy collapsing on the table in front of him, just about done with life. Kim shook her head disappointed and walked back into her room silently. Carlos sighed loudly, when suddenly the small, techno ring of Logan's iPhone went off.
"Are you kidding," the smart boy grumbled under his breath pissed off at the world. Not even bothering to check who it was, he fished in the pocket of his cargo shorts, his eyes drooping and half closed. He took a deep breath in, trying to forgo the pain he felt in his ribs and sighed. "Hello?" he spoke into the phone, pushing his forehead into the cushion with exhaustion.
There was complete silence, and the clearing of a throat.
"Uh…h-hi, Logan," the man said. Logan's heart immediately dropped, and he bit his lower lip, bringing his head back up, sitting straight up on the couch with a shocked look on his face. All the betrayal he had locked inside was about to be released again, Kendall taking notice of the boy's alert facial expressions, and furrowed brow. "I didn't think you would answer," he continued nervously. There was silence still as James, Carlos and Kendall all looked at him in confusion, the phone blankly held to his head, looking down at his twitching fingers. "Please, let me talk to you, bud," John said helplessly, in what sounded like tears on the other line. Logan's anger was rising up from his feet to his knees to his shoulders, holding his phone tightly in his hand. As much as he wanted to hang up, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hadn't talked to his father in weeks, not even a word. "Kelley, he isn't saying anything," he heard his father whisper off the line, making Logan even angrier that his father and mother were in the same room when he wasn't there. He didn't want his mother having anything to do with him.
"Why are you at my house?" Logan asked him, gritting his teeth and setting his jaw clenched.
Ever since John had fessed up to cheating, Logan had particularly protective of his mother, seeing how different she was without her husband. The usually uptight, perfect, family woman Kelley Mitchell was now a mess, but truly more of a person than Logan had ever seen her before. She looked more comfortable around the house, not having to wear the usual fancy clothes she wore when she sat in the white living room with her husband. It was if since she had met him, she was increasingly uncomfortable with John and that this divorce was the best thing that she could've ever gotten for herself. His mother's somewhat newfound independence was the only thing that Logan had thought of to keep himself from cursing out his father over the phone, seeing as how the divorce hadn't really been too much on his mind lately between the band and all. Kelley did her best to talk to Logan about the band, and what was happing back home in Duluth, rather than how the divorce proceedings were coming along, even though Logan always asked. The boy had been so angry with his father, he had even considered changing his name to his mother's maiden name, but decided against it along with his mother's wishes to somewhat keep his father in their lives, as well as the extensive legal process it would take since he wasn't 18 yet. Logan didn't understand why Kelley wanted him there at all, and she doubted he ever would, but he felt it honorable to respect his mother's wishes, no matter how angry he was with his bastard of a father.
"I said, why are you at my house? Why are you with my mother?" Logan growled into the phone, all three boys sitting up and forgetting about their ailments instantly. They all rose from their spots to sit next to Logan comfortingly as the boy held the phone tightly, knuckled white. Kendall nodded at him reassuringly as Logan looked up at him with hurt, confused eyes. Carlos swallowed hard and patted Logan's back easily, making sure the boy knew that his three best friends were here for him.
"We're working out some divorce proceedings, I just—it's so good to hear your voice, Loag," John said, his voice cracking a bit as Logan bit his lower lip and closed his eyes tightly. With the sound of his father's voice, Logan wanted to scream and cry at the same time. The way his father sounded on the phone, so upset and distraught hurt Logan, especially since he knew that his father did miss him. He knew that his father wanted nothing more than to talk to him, making the boy all the more upset. Logan, being a logical boy, knew his father missed him more than anything in the world. Logan knew the love a parent has for a child rarely ever goes away, no matter what the circumstance. Logan remembered one time had asked his father when he was about ten, that if he was a doctor and wasn't able to save someone on the operation table, if John would still love him. John of course replied with a yes, and told Logan he'd love him no matter what he would do, and being the small boy he was, Logan replied with the same thing. Logan knew that his father still loved him very much, but it just wasn't enough to stay with them, and live a life with them. It hurt Logan even more that his father obviously still loved him and had done this to them, not even once thinking about the people he had loved from the beginning.
Everything hurt more.
Thick silence hung on the line, only a bit of rustling and static heard. "I still love you dad, but I can't forgive you," Logan cried out meekly, hanging up the phone hurriedly. Logan stared at the blinking 1:45 minute marker on his phone, hanging his head down, trying his best not to cry. Silence filled the room as he bit down hard on his lower lip, not wanting the tears to come, even though he knew they would with no promises of stopping. Logan opened his eyes with a soft cry, his lips in a thin straight line. Not even bothering to address his three brothers, he quickly got up from the sofa and began walking towards the back hallway, just wanting to hide in his pillow and cry. His heavy footsteps creaked against the wood of the floor, his body shaking a bit, gripping his phone tightly in his hand.
"Logan," Kendall spoke out comfortingly to the boy, but Logan just ignored it and walked straight down the hallway into his room, shutting the door with a slam. Kendall, Carlos and James all turned to each other with wide, silent eyes.
"What was that about?" Carlos asked the two other boys, totally confused unto what had just happened. James looked at Kendall clueless, biting his lower lip, looking at the small wet spots where Logan's tears had fallen on the couch, and running his fingers over the fabric.
"He hasn't talked to his dad since he confessed," Kendall spoke out softly, sitting more upright and sighing deeply. He hit his thighs enthusiastically. "Okay, let's go," Kendall said, getting up from the couch with a slight groan due to the ache of his muscles.
"I can't get up," James cried out, Kendall turning around and giving him a glare.
"We listened to all your shit this morning, it's Logan's turn," Kendall replied stately, turning his back on the two other boys and marching straight into Logan's room, having no doubts that they would follow his path.
The three boys were outside of Kendall and Logan's room, sighing and rubbing their necks tenderly. Kendall knocked on the door, hearing nothing from the other side. "Logan?" he asked.
"Come in," the smart boy replied non-chalantly, his voice obviously weak from crying. Kendall looked back at Carlos and James and shrugged, having figured it would be much more difficult to get in. They opened the door and saw Logan reading his physics textbook with his glasses on the brim of his nose, the smart boy wiping the last of the tears from his red eyes. "Hey guys," Logan said brightly, trying to act like what had just happened was in fact all a dream. He sniffled slightly, and sighed deeply.
Carlos, James and Kendall all sat down on Logan's bed, the smart boy's knuckles white on the edges of the textbook, as he tucked his feet in to make more room for the guys. Logan's iPhone vibrated on the end table next to him, the boy ignoring the sound all together, Carlos, James and Kendall looking at it suspiciously, knowing it was Logan's father.
"Talk to us, man," James said with a small sympathetic smile, Logan looking up at the guys with a confused chuckle.
"About what?" he asked confused, adjusting his glasses and directing his eyes back to the book as if nothing ever happened. James looked at Kendall and Carlos with surprise, but not expecting anything else from Logan. The boy always tried to shut things out, even when his emotions got the best of him. He didn't want to seem weak, or anything less of logical in front of anyone really, and he didn't like to talk about the way he felt either. Even when he had broken down in front of his mom the past two times, he had always done his best to change the subject quick after, making sure to get the expression out of the way quick enough for it to be forgotten.
"Logie, come on," Carlos said playfully, trying to get the boy to stop pretending he was alright. Logan gave his friends a soft chuckle.
"Guys, really. I'm fine," he insisted, his eyes still locked on the textbook in front of him. Kendall, getting frustrated with boy ripped the book from his hands, and pushed it away from him off the side of the bed, letting it fall with a slam. James and Carlos were surprised at this, as Logan looked at Kendall with a confused, angry face. The blonde looked into the warm brown eyes that were tainted blood red and sighed.
"You miss him, don't you?" Kendall spoke out softly. Logan looked at the boy confused, taking off his glasses and sighing, rubbing his pained eyes.
"Why would I miss him after what he did to us? I don't miss him," Logan asked Kendall patronizingly. Kendall shook his head no. Kendall knew Logan better than he knew himself. Logan had been incredibly close to his father, as Kendall had been to his own. To have your father suddenly ripped out of your life like that, by choice or circumstance was the worst thing in the world.
"It's okay to be mad at him, but at the same time wish he was with you," Kendall said softly, James and Carlos smiling softly and sympathetically. Logan's face began to soften, but he still shook his head, leaning over the side of his bed to pick up his book. Kendall grabbed his arm tightly, and Logan looked up at the boy, right into his beautiful, pained green eyes. "It's alright to miss him, Logie," Kendall whispered between thin lips. He looked behind the blonde at Carlos and James who nodded, as Logan sighed, his voice getting shaky. Logan bit his lower lip and shook his head, not wanting any more tears to come out.
"I just…it's hard," Logan said desperately, Carlos and James moving more comfortably on the bed closer to their friend, Kendall settling back a bit.
"I know, Logan. I mean my dad has a girlfriend now, how do you think I feel about that?" Carlos said, Kendall and James looking back at the boy suspicious of the news.
"Since when?" Kendall asked. Carlos sighed and flipped his hand, signaling that he wasn't of importance right now.
"The point is that after my parents got divorced, I didn't really have any sort of relationship with my dad. I mean, he talked to me every day, and came to all my hockey games, but it was never like it used to be because he made my mom so unhappy all the time. I never really started talking to him comfortably until we came out here a week or so ago. The night before we left," Carlos started, sighing deeply, "he admitted all his mistakes that he had made, and he told me that he was truly sorry for the way he treated my mother, and how it affected me," he said. Logan smiled a bit, wiping the tear that has escaped from his eye away before it ran down his cheek, happy at Carlos' story. Not only did it give hope for the smart boy, but he could see how happy it had made his best friend to reconnect with his father. "It meant a lot, and it's gonna take some time to heal things, but its starting," Carlos said with a smile, nodding his head, "and I couldn't be happier." Logan nodded, understanding. "It just takes a bit of time," Carlos said.
James piped in. "I mean, I know I really don't get it since my parents are all over each other all the time," the boy started off, getting a smile and chuckle from Logan, "but I do know that you miss your dad, Logan. You guys are incredibly close, and even though he fucked up, it's not like you can stop loving him. He is your father," James said softly, Logan nodding and understanding again, Carlos patting James back at his sensitive words. Logan looked at Kendall, the blonde boy smiling at him sadly.
"Your turn, K-Dawg," Logan said amicably with a smile. Kendall sighed deeply.
"I know our fathers are a different story, Logan. Your father left, and my father died," Kendall said softly, trying to keep his voice strong. "But it doesn't matter the circumstances. Missing a parent that you have been close to is natural. I understand you are mad at your dad, man, but you miss him, and if you want to talk to him, it's alright. It's natural. And it might not be the worst idea," Kendall said to him. Logan nodded, and Carlos and James chuckled out as Logan smiled at the guys.
"Thanks a bunch guys," Logan said bashfully. "It means a lot."
"You mean a lot, Logie," James said to him, cocking his head affectionately to the side. The boys couldn't help but burst into laughter at James' sentimental statement, only to be interrupted by the loud, thunderous vibration of Logan's iPhone.
Without looking, they all knew who it was.
"Well I think that's our cue to leave," Carlos said playfully, sliding off the bed with a chuckle, Logan's gaze stuck on the phone, the word "Dad" coming up on the screen. James followed Carlos out the door, giving Logan a pat on the back before departing. Kendall's eyes stay glued to Logan's phone, as the boy took a deep breath before looking at his brunette friend.
"Do you need me stay?" Kendall asked. Logan looked up at him and nodded no, picking up the phone in his hands and smiling.
"I gotta do this by myself, but thanks, Kendall. I appreciate it," Logan said with a smile. Kendall nodded and hit the boy's shoulder playfully before getting up off the bed and walking out the door.
Logan looked down at his phone and took a deep breath in, as his phone vibrated in his hand, sending a chill down his spine. He closed his eyes, his insides shaking, taking his finger and tapping the green phone button to accept his father's call. He brought the phone to his ear and opened his eyes, biting his lip white.
"Hi, dad."