A/N: I just wanted to let you guys know that I changed the spelling of Logan's mothers name from Kelly-to Kelley, for any confusion with Kelly Wainwright.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even though I might get a bit of hell from all you Jo haters (I'm one myself, I'm really not fond of her either) but she WON'T be in here for the long run, that I promise you.
And thanks to all my reviewers who haven't lost interest in this story! :) you guys help keep me going with your reviews every week! I love them all and I'm so glad I have people who have stuck with me from the beginning! :)
**And a public apology to so-complicated for not reviewing her story Something To Sleep To, which you ALL should read! And which I have to review.
Make sure you read this AMAZING snippet from waterwicca'sPast The Sorrow
It was a Thursday morning when all of Sage's new found expectations were shattered; making her realize that, with either choice Karen made, she would be a tragic mix of frightened and relieved…
"Why won't you let me sign your cast?" Katie whined to her brother for the hundredth time in the last few weeks and only received a dismissive chuckle in response.
"I'm not letting you anywhere near me with a permanent marker, Katie. When Sage had her cast, you wrote that I was a loser," Kendall glared halfheartedly at his little sister as Sage giggled beside him.
"I remember the good old days when you were more gullible," Katie mumbled dejectedly as she ate a spoonful of her sugary cereal.
"Kendall, you should let her deface it now. It's coming off in three days anyway," Sage suggested, sipping her orange juice with a smirk at her boyfriend, knowing a playful scowl was coming her way for siding with Katie.
"Where's Mom? I need someone sane to back me up," Kendall joked, spinning around in his stool at the kitchen counter with a piece of bacon in his hand as he scanned the room for Karen.
"She's on the phone. Just give in, Sweetie… Katie always wins," Sage insisted, winking at the little brunette on the other side of Kendall's body.
"Not today she doesn't," he declared sticking his tongue out at his sibling before abruptly putting it back into his mouth when he saw her hold up a black pen. "Put it down, Katie!"
"Hold still, Big Bro…" she laughed wickedly, lunging for his cast-covered forearm.
Kendall cried out dramatically in protest as Sage draped one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist from behind to keep him in place. This is the position Karen found the three of them in when she entered the room with a serious expression. Kendall was squirming halfheartedly in Sage's grasp with a smile on his face while Katie was practically in his lap, trying to write on his moving arm. She hated to ruin the family moment…
"Is everyone done eating?" she asked, forcing her usual cheery demeanor onto her face and trying to ignore her oncoming tears and headache. The phone call she had just finished would change all of their lives…
"No, I'm still starving because the girls are ganging up on me…" Kendall laughed and ruffled Katie's hair, knowing it would annoy her, and laced his good hand with one of Sage's on top of the counter as the trio broke apart. Karen smiled softly when her son kissed her daughter's cheek with a slight shove, and Katie bumped fists with Sage behind the boy's back. They were all so happy together…
"Listen, guys, there's something I have to tell you…" Karen started nervously, making herself busy by taking Katie's bowl and placing it in the sink with her glass.
"What is it, Mom?" Kendall was immediately concerned by her expression. He and Katie shared wary glances, and he squeezed Sage's hand a bit harder.
"About a month ago, I got a letter in the mail…" Karen started, and Sage sucked in a harsh breath, biting her lip and locking eyes with the woman for just a moment as she continued, "… My Great Aunt Margaret died, and she, uh… she left us the house in Minnesota…"
"And…?" Katie coaxed nervously, her brother staring wide-eyed and holding his breath beside her.
"We're moving at the end of next month. I've talked to your school, and they've agreed to let you take your exams early," Karen explained gently, watching Kendall's face cautiously. She had a job all set up in Minnesota as long as she could start by the end of May. Kendall wouldn't even get to finish his school year here. They wouldn't be around for Sage's birthday…
"Are you kidding?" Kendall yelled, standing up from his seat abruptly and holding Sage's hand so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. She squeezed back with just as much energy, while Kendall looked like he was going to kill someone.
"I think she's serious…" Katie whispered sadly beside him, her eyes not leaving her mother's conflicted expression.
"We can't leave! What about -" Kendall stopped suddenly when he turned to face his girlfriend. She was staring at the counter with glazed eyes and wouldn't move an inch, letting him drag her arm through the air as he gestured wildly with their connected hands.
Kendall's voice grew soft and stern, and he blinked rapidly as he held his breath.
"Why don't you look surprised?" he spoke every word clearly, easily reading her emotions. She wasn't in shock. She was nervous and scared in the same way she was when they walked down the crowded halls in school.
"Kendall…" her word only came out as a strangled whisper when she looked up at him.
"No, do not say my name like that…" he begged angrily. The last time he heard it pass her lips in that tone was the night he found out the vicious truth about Elliot, and their lives changed forever… "What's going on?"
...
Yes, you wanna read it don't you? So go do it! :D And review! :D
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Forgetting
"Hi…Logan."
John talked to him with a smile over the phone, loving to hear the melody of his son's voice. Logan swallowed hard and looked straight ahead at the closed door, hearing small whispers behind it, and small chuckles. He knew his friends wouldn't leave him alone no matter how hard he tried to force them away, and he knew that Kendall was the one who probably sat down the second he had closed the door behind him.
"Hi," Logan repeated again nervously, shifting up against the wall, his feet extended out over the bed, staring at his black, distressed Converse with wide eyes. Logan's hand was tight on his phone, clutching it to his ear, his breaths heavy.
His mouth was dry, and his brain racked itself for things to say to his father. He couldn't bear to ask him anything about his life, like where he was staying, or how Tina Marie was, even if it was spiteful. Right now, Logan just hoped he could have a short, civil, conversation with his father without blowing up on him. As easy as it could be for Logan to think of the man like his father, Logan felt immediately distant from him, as if he were halfway across the world and not just the country. The brow rubbed his brow and sighed deeply, anticipating his father's words.
"How are you?" John asked him softly.
How was he? Logan was just fine when it came to the band, and his new life and California, and even of girls he though as he rubbed the hickey on his neck with a slight chuckle. But on the inside, he couldn't help but think about how his father made him feel, like he was getting tugged in eight hundred different directions. He was angry, agitated and frustrated with himself, and felt every word from a-z about his father and his decisions. Logan was silent, trying to find the words to describe this enigma of emotions, but John, feeling the tension on his son's end decided to spare him the trouble of explaining it.
"Your mother says that the band is doing well," John coughed out awkwardly. Logan knew at this moment, his father was probably sticking his hand in his pocket and playing with the loose change that fell at the bottom, trying to get his words out the best he could.
"Uh yeah," Logan got out softly, looking down at his feet and sighing. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes tightly, trying to somehow put John's usual voice with the man Logan remembered, not the one he turned into.
"That's good. I'm-I'm proud of you son," John stuttered out, a smile immediately coming to Logan's fresh face.
And then in a flash…it was gone.
It was like the mechanisms that geared Logan's lips up into a sideways D shape had been too easily oiled, and had suddenly remembered their own unfortunate circumstances. Logan's lips fell along with his chin, his eyes sinking down with the weight of sadness on his heart. Logan was confused. He didn't know what hurt worse nowadays.
His father's abandonment or the fact that he felt guilty for still loving him.
Logan was being pulled over a stormy sea by the heavens in two totally separate but equal ways. He was torn down the middle, right through his over logical brain, down to the insides of his thighs. He felt like he was two separate people all the time, this emotional, illogical person when he was angry, and this straightforward, rational bookworm when he studied he and his father's relationship.
It was almost like how Kendall's anger got out of control, and he turned into someone different.
"U-uh t-thanks," Logan stammered out awkwardly, shutting his eyes tightly with a deep sigh, hearing a soft snicker from the hallway.
Kendall, Carlos and James all sat outside Logan's door, hearing the muffled voice of their best friend through it, wondering what was being exchanged over the phone. Kendall sat twiddling his thumbs nervously, hoping to God Logan wouldn't get upset.
"Do you think he knows we are out here?" Carlos asked innocently, sitting next to Kendall across from the door. Carlos anxiously tapped his fingers against the wall, causing Kendall to sigh a bit annoyed, but knowing his best friend couldn't help but move in a tense situation like this.
"If thinks we would really leave then he's a bigger idiot than I am," James told Carlos confidently, sitting right next to the door. Carlos scoffed and smiled.
"Wow. That's a colossal amount of…idiocy," Carlos said with poise to James with a laugh. The pretty boy looked back at his friend, sticking his tongue out at the insult, truthfully not really understanding what the word colossal meant. James decided to ignore it and turn his attention back to the door, Kendall's green eyes set on it since the moment he sat down.
"What do you think they're talking about?" Carlos asked curiously, filling the awkward silence between the three of them.
"I don't know. Maybe just LA, and the band," Kendall said cluelessly, breaking his gaze from the door and turning to Carlos. James extended his feet out to the wall in front of him, sitting opposite Kendall and Carlos. He sighed, stretching them up to create a triangle with his long legs, the wall and the floor, flipping his hair back effortlessly.
"Or maybe that sick hickey on Logan's neck," James muttered out still a bit bitter from their earlier conversation. Kendall rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, shooting James a look as the boy pouted against the wall.
"Jeez James, the kid gets a minimal amount of action from one girl, and you have to hold it over his head," Kendall spoke out playfully annoyed, trying to get his point across without getting angry about it. "Just cause you like this Lianna chick, doesn't mean it's the end of the world, alright? Just talk to her like she's a person and not a piece of meat," Kendall exasperated heavily, leaning his head back against the wall as James and Carlos looked at him a bit surprised by his outburst. They hadn't seen Kendall show any really tense emotions since getting to LA, and quite frankly, the slightest hinting of one scared them both off their hinges. Carlos's shoulders immediately tensed and he leaned back away from Kendall a bit, James' whole demeanor changing from one of upset and pathetic to afraid and hostile.
Kendall took a few deep breaths, feeling his anger rise up a bit again. He bit his lower lip, reminding himself about how he needed to control the feelings he had, and how at his last visit to Dr. Givens, she had told him to think of the consequences he could face if he did punch someone or hurt them, and how it would only bring back his progress. He felt that James was being a bit selfish about all of this, especially since he was the only one who wasn't going through fucked up family stuff right now.
Carlos had to deal with his father's new girlfriend, totally uncomfortable by the idea, as well his mother being upset by it. Not that his mother still loved his father or anything like that, but he was still the man Marta had fallen in love with so many years ago. And now, he had someone else? When Carlos had told his mother over the phone earlier today, she had been in complete shock about it. Carlos had to convince her three times that he was actually serious about Peter having a girlfriend, who never the less was serious. The boy himself also had a bit of trouble grasping his head around the fact that his father had someone else, with a kid, who was more than likely taking his place. While it wasn't the same situation as Logan's, it was similar in the way where Carlos felt that as soon as he and his father were on good, healthy terms after so long, that the beginning build of their relationship was starting off miserably.
Logan's situation spoke for itself.
And Kendall, well Kendall had a boat load of problems on his plate. Luckily, he had been in best friend mode from early on in the day at breakfast talking it out with James and his issues, being a shoulder to lean on for Carlos when he had to break the news to his mother his father had a serious relationship, and now he was there for Logan, his best friend in the entire world, whose world was falling apart at the seams with his dumbass father who he still loved more than anything in the world. Between all his friend's problems today, he hadn't gotten a word in to tell them about his bizarre dream which had him in tears at 3:30 this morning. Kendall still didn't understand what it meant, and had no clue why he would dream of something like that. Stella was understandable, seeing as he was trying his hardest to forget her, but his father? His father interacting with Stella?
"Dude, I tried telling you guys this morning that I don't like her, and no one listened, and then you conned me into saying I had a crush on her, which I don't! I don't do crushes," James said arrogantly, as if the spectacle was meaningful to only children.
"James, just stop being fucking arrogant for once, and listen to yourself talk! Do you hear yourself?" Kendall burst out with anger and rage, his fists balled up at his sides. His voice was loud and booming, and without having any super powers, each boy knew what the other was thinking. Kendall hadn't gotten angry in a long time, and they were scared what was going to happen. His eyes were alit with that fire, his fists white at the knuckles and red at the fingers, his brows furrowed upset. It was the telltale sign of a tornado arising. "You have a crush, so what? You act like you are some type of robot who doesn't have feelings. I told you back in Minnesota, you push the girls you like away because you are afraid of love," Kendall said pointing his finger at his best friend, lowering his voice a bit, his half hooded eyes locked on James. He saw how his friend didn't say a word, but his face slowly softened, as if Kendall was spilling out facts from a textbook. Kendall's fists were released, his anger slowly falling down as he swallowed hard, his voice lower, his brows straight, and already his green eyes begging forgiveness for getting out of hand. "Look at you, man. Look at where you are, James. You're gonna be famous, alright? It's almost a sure deal right now. You met this girl yesterday, and you are already hung up on her like you have never been before, right after we record our first song and get approved for demos by the record company," Kendall told him, their eyes not leaving each other. "Love isn't getting in the way of your fame any longer. It's meant to be," he whispered softly, leaning his head back against the hallway and sighing, Carlos and James exchanging looks of deep thought and rationale. "I mean, I know Logan doesn't believe in it," he said motioning to the door, "but I do. I really do. I believe everything happens for some reason, and you met Lianna for a reason," Kendall finished, staring at him intently, voice stern again.
"We aren't famous yet, Kendall. This is my whole point," James said unsurely, his eyes wavering nervously, his mouth stumbling over his words. "I need to concentrate of becoming famous, before I even think about anything like love. Yeah, I guess I didn't expect to be in California living out my dream at only sixteen, but—"
"But why do you have to wait, James? I don't understand. We're here, and we have nothing to hold us back. Why are you still denying this?"
"Because I've never felt this way, alright?" James yelled out viciously at Kendall, causing both him and Carlos to move back a bit, totally shocked by James' outburst. The brunette sighed and furrowed his brows upset, trying his best to get back to his relaxed, confused state. "I'm-I'm all mixed up, and I don't know what I'm feeling," James told his best friends, still a little angry. "And it doesn't make it any easier with you trying to prove your own fucking point, Kendall. I get it, alright? There is no reason to hold back love cause I already am getting my big break, and there is no harm in actually have feelings for someone, and it's true, but—but I'm not you!" James told him angrily, his heavy breaths turning into sarcastic laughs. "You fell in love, and look at what it did to you! Yeah, you're getting better, but look at all the shit that you've had to go through cause of it. I can't afford to do this right now, and the fact that I even have the slightest feelings for Lianna freaks me out, okay?" he told them with a unconfident, shaky voice. "I mean I don't know how my parents are still so happy together, especially when they did the one thing I'm trying not do, by giving up their dreams for love! I'm not used to all of this!" he said with sadness and heart ache. "It's not easy for me when I'm used to sleeping with girls, and not having them close enough to actually get to really know them. It's always a sure thing with those girls, but not with Lianna, and-and I just…," James said, trying to get the words out, looking in both of his friends' wide, expressive eyes and sighing deeply. "This isn't me."
Carlos and Kendall exchanged worried glances at their best friend, silence filling the narrow hallway and Logan's muffled voice the only heard through the door.
Logan stood in the middle of his room pacing from his bed to Kendall with a sigh, trying his best to relax himself. He hadn't even been on the phone with his dad for ten minutes, and already, things were starting to go awry. It had started when John had apologized to Logan for everything that had happened with Tina Marie, and her bratty little kids Georgina and Stefan. He rambled on and on about them, bringing up how they weren't his real children, and how Logan would always come first to John, no matter what. Truthfully, Logan didn't want to hear that he would come first. He wanted his father to say that he messed up, that he didn't love Tina Marie and her kids, and that he was coming back home, and would never mention his second family again, but Logan knew it wasn't realistic. Now his father, who had been staying in a hotel just an hour away from the house, was back at home, collecting up his things and moving to New York with that disgusting slut of an Italian mob wife and living with her and her two kids.
"I'll always make sure to keep in touch with you, Logan, I promise. I'll even visit whe—" but Logan cut him off. He was angry, his fist stuck in his pocket with white knuckles, his entire body seemed to tremor. Now, his father was getting too comfortable with this conversation. Visiting? Logan had finally just talked to the man after how many weeks, and he already wanted to visit? Was he fucking kidding? It was then, Logan began a tirade of sorts, not even knowing the true psychological purpose. A scapegoat. A way to somehow reverse the logical explanation of the love his father had for him, without even fully realizing it. It would be irrational, and covered up with pure anger that still lurked inside his damaged heart. It would be perfect, and while Logan's emotions took over his body again, the logic stopped flowing through his body, and was caught by his thick skull.
Logan had no idea of the self-defense he was putting up.
"Why did you take me to California?" Logan asked his father coldly. John was a bit taken aback by the question, seeing as he finally though he and his son were getting back on good terms. Yet, Logan spoke like a ice storm into the receiver, John's entire face sinking hearing his son's scathing words.
"W-what do you mean?" John asked him.
"Why did you take me there? Why did you take me on vacation there when you had an entire other family in New York? Why didn't you take them?" Logan asked him, staring at the wall in front of him blankly. There was silence and a long sigh, and Logan knew John was trying to think of an answer to get Logan to calm down.
"Because I wanted to, Logan," John said softly, Logan scoffing and shaking his head no. "I wanted to spend time with y-"
"No. That's not why dad, we both know that," Logan said to him with a trembling expression of lips, biting his lower one white. He sighed heavily, and swallowed hard, knowing he had figured his father out. "You felt guilty, alright? Everything you did for me was out of guilt, because you had them in New York. And don't try to tell me it's not," Logan told him, beginning to cry, his tears seeping out the corners of his eyes.
"Logan, that's not true, bud," John said, but was interrupted again.
"NO! Don't try to make this better, alright? Just—It was a mistake answering this phone call, it was a mistake talking to you, goddamnit everything I did with you was a mistake!" Logan cried out into the phone loudly, his hands shaking. He clicked off the phone and threw it to the ground, causing a small crack to appear in the front screen. Logan laced his fingers through his short black hair and ceased crying, his breaths heavy and his eyes still a bit wet.
Immediately, shuffling was heard outside of Logan's door, and the boy looked up at it, slowly wiping his eyes and looking down at his now broken iPhone, as if he was surprised at what had just happened.
"Great," Logan mumbled miserably, sighing deeply. Within a second, there was a slight knock on the door. Logan sighed annoyed, but then smiled at his best friends' comforting personas.
"Logie?" Kendall asked him softly through the door, the tension out in the hallway as thick as the tension building up inside of Logan's room. Logan licked his lips and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, taking a deep breath and walking towards the door, with one hand on his hip for balance, his heart beating out of his chest.
Logan opened the door with damp eyes, looking at Kendall's defeated green eyes, James awkward stance, and Carlos' nervous and caring smile. Truthfully, Logan didn't like the way his best friends looked, and he could tell that it wasn't just Logan's inner turmoil that was bothering them.
It was a mix of four unhappy best friends, just looking at each other with clueless, open hearts. They needed each other in times like this.
The four boys sat on Kendall and Logan's beds, talking everything out for the next fifteen minutes. Logan started it off with his conversation with his father, telling the boys everything he had said, and why he didn't understand the reason he had blown up at the end of the conversation like that. Carlos went next, briefly touching on the oddness of his mother's upset at his father's girlfriend, along with his own upset. Logan was able to provide some comfort in the form of gentle pats on the back and words of understanding, seeing as he was in a similar situation. Next was James, who seemed to have the most confusion. After his long outburst, the boys rarely said anything in the hallway to each other, seeing as they heard the loud slam of Logan's iPhone just seconds after James' rant. James basically just repeated what he said outside to Kendall and Carlos a lot more civil, Logan nodding his head and not saying a word, trying his best to understand.
After about twenty minutes, the boys all turned to Kendall, seeing as the blonde haired, green eyed boy hadn't said much of anything about his own problems. Kendall was the one who came out to Hollywood with enough emotional baggage to need a personal bellhop, and now it seemed like the boys had all taken parts of it.
"What about you, Kendall? You seem to the be the only one problem free lately," Logan joked out, James still staying reserved, and Carlos smiling sympathetically at all of his friends, feeling his problem was silly and trivial compared to theirs. Kendall sighed and sat back, leaning against his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to bring back just a second of the dream, so he could accurately describe it for his friends. He hadn't told them yet.
"I had a dream," Kendall spoke out softly, looking down at his fingers awkwardly, sighing deeply. He figured he would elaborate on it, seeing the question "about what" just ready to jump from eager Carlos' mouth. "I had this dream about my dad, and Stella was there, and it—it was just so confusing. I don't get why my dad would be there, interacting with Stella, you know?" Kendall told them, his green eyes bored with confusion. James sighed and nodded, knowing this was obviously bothering Kendall a bit, and was probably pat of the reason he had lashed out a bit in the hallway a few minutes ago. James could only be so thankful that Kendall didn't explode on him like he would've a few months ago.
"Well we were talking about Stella yesterday which explains that, and then maybe, the whole thing with Logan and his father brought up some memories of your dad," James said confidently with a smile, hoping his dream analysis worked, and trying his best to shift the attention from him to Kendall for once. Kendall felt that it fell short majorly, but couldn't help but smile at the smile on James' face, and the persona he was used to returning to him.
"True, but I-I don't know. I feel like…my dream was almost trying to tell me something," Kendall said confused, running his hands through his hair distressed, the anxiety he felt waking up coming back and haunting him. It was like he was in his room again, sweating and crying while trying to make some sense of the sick fake reality he had just been a part of. "It was so clear, and me and Stella, we were engaged," Kendall said, a ghost of a smile coming onto his face. "My father loved her," he whispered out. He hadn't even truly made much sense of that part of his dream yet. It was as if in that moment, everything that had soaked into Kendall's mind the past forty eight hours with his friends and his father had taken such prominence over Stella's memory that it all came rushing back on him. Kendall suddenly felt like a large weight had been cast over him, as he closed his eyes tightly, and tried his best to remember Stella's memory.
He saw her long blonde hair, her icy blue eyes, her pink lips, her sweet voice, the way she kissed him, the way she batted her eyelashes, the way she raised her eyebrow.
It was as if every little thing Kendall had tried to forget about Stella was coming back to him in this one moment, a rush of cold water that hit his body like a thousand tiny knifes.
Kendall couldn't speak, and his words were caught in his throat as he bit his lower lip white. Why was this happening now?
"I-I miss her so much," Kendall spoke out softly, looking down at his thumbs. "I guess I haven't been really thinking of her as a person you know?" Kendall asked them confused. "Like where she could be, if she's alright, if she's with…someone else," Kendall said upset, ducking his head down at the possible truth. He sighed deeply and looked up at Logan, Carlos and James. "It just sucks not knowing," Kendall said softly. "And now, I-I don't have anything of her left, I left her song, and her letter back home," Kendall mumbled out, starting to regret his decisions which he had made in his first attempts to get her out of his head.
"Kendall," Carlos said softly, putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder. "It's gonna be alright. You're doing the right thing here by trying to forget about her, especially after what happened between you two," the Latino said with heart and soul, locking his caramel eyes on Kendall's green ones. "It's just taking time, but you've been so good since you got here. I even saw you looking at Jo the other day with that gleam in your eye," Carlos joked out with a smile, hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries.
Kendall blushed a bit, knowing that he had indeed shown a slight interest in Camille's best friend, Jo. She was a blonde actress from North Carolina who had moved here a day or two after the boys, with a beautiful white smile and large brown eyes. It was true, Kendall's eyes had lingered on her for an extended amount of time the past day or so, but he hadn't thought that anybody had really noticed it. The two had introduced themselves to each other with a few slight words, but that was really it. Besides glances and awkward smiles, the two hadn't talked much. "You're allowed to go up and talk to other girls, Kendall. I think it's good for you," Carlos said with a smile. Logan smiled and chimed in.
"Yeah, and if you wanna go out on a date with Jo in a few weeks or so, I mean, you and me could always double with her and Camille," Logan told him confidently, Kendall smiling at the assertion that Camille was now actually something to Logan in the more than friends department. "I mean, I wouldn't recommend anything serious, but a friendly date might be good," Logan piped up.
"Well I might have to take that offer if all your dates go like last night, Logie," Kendall joked out, motioning his chin to the hickey on Logan's neck. The smart boy blushed a bit and rolled his eyes, his hand going back to the hickey, trying to cover it as if the guys hadn't been staring at it since early this morning.
"But really dude, I mean, you're doing great lately, with Stella, and your dad," James told him softly nodding his head. "This has been a tough year on all of us, and I don't think that we could've gotten through it without each other," James said, looking around the room with a smile. Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan all exchanged smiles and sighed, feeling the tension from the hallway, and between Logan and his father totally gone from their presence, each boy feeling like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders, for the time being at least.
It had been two weeks since Kendall's dream, and each day passed with torment, but satisfaction.
Torment that Stella wasn't with him.
Satisfaction that he was slowly losing that torment.
As much as Kendall would think of Stella at least three, four times a day, she was no longer constantly on her mind. Quite frankly, it scared the boy a bit. He hadn't had a clear though without her since before he had met her, and kissed her in December. It was now late April, early May, nearly four and a half months since they had met. Luckily, with the band doing well with recording demos, and meeting with executives, Kendall really didn't have much time for a social life, but he and the boys did everything they possibly could to preserve it.
Carlos had been tailing three popular, bitchy girls called the Jennifer's around the pool since he had first discovered them a week and a half ago. One was blonde and tall, the other with caramel skin and brunette hair and the last one with chocolate skin and black, curly hair. It seemed as if Carlos wanted to serve them more than be with them, and no matter how many times the rejected their advances it was like a secret understanding had been made. They loved the attention, and Carlos loved giving it to them. It was a win-win deal for both parties.
James and Lianna hadn't really talked much, seeing as how the boy kept pushing her away, trying his best not to think about her. It had been a week since their date when he had finally said hi to her down at the pool, awkwardly and all nervously as he never had been before. James was even more obsessed about his appearance now, seeing as he felt he would need to keep it up for "other options" which the boys all knew it meant keeping it up for Lianna. As much as Logan, Carlos and Kendall pushed James in her direction, emotionally and physically, it seemed as the boy didn't want anything to do with her, while indeed her heart was breaking. Luckily, earlier in the day, Kendall and Logan had caught the two sitting down in one of the cabanas, talking and laughing naturally. Kendall saw the look of sheer entertainment and terror on James' face, as he made careful not to touch her in the wrong way, or somehow get the wrong signal across to her.
Logan and Camille had been out every night since the "hickey" incident, and were definitely just a date or two away from making it official. Logan hadn't talked to his father since the outburst, taking a complete vow of silence from him, even after the boys tried to talk him out of it. Earlier in the week, the smart boy had even blown up on his mother for being so adamant about talking to him, and how the entire conversation he and his father had was driven by his mother's nagging. Logan had apologized to her in the same conversation however, but still wouldn't talk to his father. Camille made Logan happier than Kendall had ever seen the boy, and Logan was more open about his relationship with her than ever. Just the other night, he was telling the boys over midnight ice-cream sundae's the world of pleasure he had experienced when Camille had bucked her hips up into his when they were making out on the couch one night, and how it was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. While virgin Carlos was amazed, the more experienced Kendall and James just looked at each other with smiles, knowing that the boy was in store for things much better than one, single dry hump.
"Kendall, are you almost ready?" Logan called out from the living room.
Kendall looked in the mirror on the back of his closet door and sighed, swallowing hard. He gently ran his hands through his hair, fixing his newly trimmed blonde bangs, looking over his outfit one last time. A white t-shirt with a black vest on top, dark blue skinny jeans, and white and black slip on Vans. His green eyes danced across his appearance and he closed them, the same uneasy feeling in his stomach as he felt that night he went out with James, Amy and Stephanie.
Kendall Knight was going on a date tonight.
After much persuasion from Logan, who claimed it would be a purely innocent night, and that he was totally against PDA as was Camille, Kendall agreed to go on a double date with Logan, Camille and Jo.
Kendall couldn't lie, Jo was a sweet, beautiful, attractive girl, and she had been the only one that Kendall's eye had truly lingered on since arriving. He didn't know if it was the fact that he was slowly forgetting Stella more and more, day by day that made Jo stand out, or if it was just the fact that she wasn't tainted by Hollywood yet. Kendall was not by any means looking for something serious, and after much consolation from Logan who understood Kendall's place, and what his deal with Stella was, he agreed to go out with the pretty blonde, just for a night.
The two boys exited the apartment and went down the hallway to the elevator, stepping inside when it opened, the doors shutting in front of them. Kendall nervously stuck his hands into his pockets, looking up as a well dressed but casual Logan looked at him with a half smile. Kendall's foot anxiously tapped against the tile floor and he sighed deeply, gnawing on his lower lip.
"Nervous?" Logan asked him. Kendall looked at the boy, rubbing his chin self-consciously and chuckling, blushing a bit.
"Y-yeah, I guess. I haven't been on a date in…well, a while," Kendall said chuckling. Logan gave the boy a confused look and furrowed his brow.
"Didn't you go on a date with James, Amy and Stephanie?" Logan asked. Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes with a smile, looking at Logan as if he should've known better.
"Hardly a date," Kendall said, readjusting his gaze to the numbers on top of the elevator doors, sucking a deep breath in when it hit L for lobby. The elevator stopped and Logan looked at Kendall, giving him a pat on the back with a smile.
"You'll be fine. Enjoy yourself tonight, okay?" Logan said. "And really enjoy yourself, not like with Stephanie," he added in with a stern face. Kendall nodded and smiled as the doors opened to the bustling Palm Woods lobby, people entering and leaving for their dinner or nightlife outings as the sun began to set and five o'clock creeped up. Kendall's eyes were instantly brought to the two orange couches in the lobby, where he saw curly haired Camille and Jo sitting together with smiles on their faces, obviously engrossed in deep conversation. Kendall had to admit, Jo looked absolutely beautiful tonight, wearing a light pink sundress with small, silver, strappy heels and a brush of silver eyeshadow on her lids.
Logan and Kendall strolled up to the females, Kendall feeling his stomach churn as his hands were stuck in his pockets, his eyes narrowed on the blonde in front of him. It's as if Kendall could pretend Jo was Stella, seeing her blonde hair and adorable smile. However, as he moved closer to her, and saw her stand up, her entire demeanor and presence seemed to overtake him. A true, goofy smile broke out onto his face seeing her warm, chocolate eyes light up to him, and Kendall couldn't contain it if he even tried.
At the moment, thoughts of Stella Kendall had from the second he had seen Jo totally vanished.
It scared him for a second as he moved face to face with her, taking in everything she was.
But after a few seconds, it was okay.
Kendall Knight was okay.
"Hi, Camille," Logan said to his dark haired, almost girlfriend, giving her a soft peck on the lips, his arm snaking around her waist. Both Kendall and Jo looked at them, and then looked back at each other awkwardly trying to figure out how to greet each other. Kendall took his hand from his pocket and smiled at Jo, bringing it flush against his abdomen at a ninety degree angle, and bowing in front of her.
"Hello, fair Lady Josephine," Kendall said softly, a small chuckle coming from Jo's lips with a smile.
"Hello to you too my fair Knight...no pun intended," Jo said. Logan and Camille, who were wrapped up around each other stared at the pair with a smile, an instant, relaxed chemistry between them, for which Logan was especially relieved of. Kendall and Jo locked eyes and smiled at each other, then turning to Camille and Logan with a sigh.
"Okay, who is ready for the best movie and ice cream ever?" Camille asked the group, eliciting excited sounds from all of them, as the quartet made their way to the exit of the Palm Woods.
Carlos and James sat upstairs in apartment 2J, beating the crap out of aliens in Carlos' video game, in which the boys were still addicted to. Kendall and Logan had been gone on their double date for about two and a half hours now, and it was nearing eight o'clock in LA, the two boys deciding to pass the time with video games.
"So, what do you think about Kendall going out with Jo?" Carlos asked with his tongue hanging out, trying his best to blow up one of the enemy aliens that was on his and James' territory. James, who was avidly pressing a combination of buttons shrugged, his eyes glued to the television.
"I don't know. I mean, it's good for him. He's really starting to forget about Stella, and Logan told me that Kendall was actually the one who brought up the double date to him again, after he said it in their room when we talked two weeks ago," James said, sighing in victory as he cut the head off the alien's second queen.
"Me too. I think he's finally starting to get some sense in him about all that true love bullshit," Carlos said with a snicker, James not saying anything in response. It wasn't that James loved Lianna, but he definitely liked her. James hadn't liked a girl since elementary school, and even now, just talking to her on certain days, sitting with her and watching her laugh, James felt some sort of instant chemistry between them. It threw him for a loop of course, but right now, he decided not to chime in with Carlos' about this "love bullshit" and totally keep his mouth closed.
"So you and Lianna?" Carlos asked with a smile towards the TV, his thumbs hitting the A and X buttons to use his photon cannon on the guard aliens around the fortress where the boss was hiding.
"What about us?" James asked. Carlos shrugged.
"I don't know. You guys kiss or anything yet?" he asked.
"Nope," James said cut and dry, without a care in the world. It was true. As much as James wanted to kiss her, and sleep with her, he knew it wasn't the right time. He and she were finally talking as friends, and that was oddly okay for James. Truthfully, it was more than okay for him, and every second he spent with her, the more okay it got.
"Seriously? Dude, where is your game?" Carlos asked James with a chuckle, breaking into the fortress where the boss was, his knees tensing a bit as he got closer.
"I don't know man. With her it's totally different, and I don't know why, and I don't know how," James chuckled out, wanting to keep his feelings for Lianna under the radar for now. While he didn't have too much of a reputation in Hollywood, he wanted to keep what people knew about him fresh in their minds. He didn't want to be called a wimp, or anything else referring to his lack of sexual activity the past few weeks, with Lianna specifically.
"Aw jeez, bro. You sound like, Kendall," Carlos spoke out with a flutter of his lips, James shrugging and sighing, trying not to let the Latino's comment bother him. There was silence between the two as Carlos stood up with joy, pressing the A button and X button four times to create a nuclear explosion, killing the alien and winning the level.
"Fuck yes!" Carlos exclaimed happily, as James whooped, resting his controller down next to him. The phone on the counter rang loudly, interrupting Carlos' celebration as James sighed and sat back, exhausted.
"Okay victory Carlos, answer the phone. It's probably your dad anyway," James said, closing his eyes and cracking his knuckles from the intensity of the game. Carlos snickered and ran over the phone out of breath, the LEVEL WON on the TV lighting up in all different colors as he picked up the phone.
"Yello?" Carlos asked into the phone slyly, leaning against the counter.
Carlos heard nothing but soft sniffles on the phone, and silence, leaning into the receiver confused. James looked on at the boy's happy face going to confused, his thick black brows furrowing with upset.
"Carlitos," Marta said on the other line, with a soft, teary voice.
"Mami, what's wrong?" Carlos asked concerned, his heart beginning to beat faster and faster. James stood up as Carlos' face contorted into pure worry, biting his lower lip. He approached the boy, as Carlos heard nothing but soft sniffles, and Marta's shaky voice on the other end of the phone.
"Mijo, I-I have some bad news."
"Kendall, you already paid for the ice-cream. Please, let me pay for the movie ticket?" Jo asked him, fishing in her clutch for a twenty dollar bill.
The two stood on line at Malibu Cinemas, Camille and Logan already getting snacks for the four of them, as Kendall chuckled and passed a twenty dollar bill to the teller with a smug smirk. One hand was in his pocket, the other tapping against his upper thigh nervously, trying his best not to see the weirdly odd similarities between this date and his one with Stephanie Carter weeks ago.
"This is a date, Jo. I'm glad to pay. It's not like I date a lot of girls anyway, so don't worry about it. You're worth the money," he said to her with a true smile. Jo blushed a bit and closed her purse, as the teller handed two tickets to Kendall. They walked forward a bit to the theatre master, who stood there with a box full of ticket stubs. Kendall offered the older man his tickets, and the man ripped them, handing them back to the boy. Kendall turned to Jo and handed her the ticket stub, their hands grazing indefinitely, and a smile coming to Jo's face. She slowly took her hand away and smiled at Kendall, who smiled back at her, all the way up to his eyes.
It was as if this date was replaying exactly like his date with Stephanie Carter.
All four teens sat in the middle row of the movie theater, Logan's arm around Camille, gently grazing the skin of her far elbow with the pads of his fingers, as she leaned into him. Luckily, Logan had the respect, and bit of nervousness, not to have the audacity to make out with his date when he was doubling, or make out with his date at all in public. Kendall and Jo sat silently side by side in the movie theater, Jo's big brown eyes locked up on the movie. Kendall sighed and nervously twiddled his thumbs, biting his lower lip white. The voices in the movie, and the pictures of them became a blur as his heart beat in his ears, and it was as everything else went silent. He awkwardly moved his arm on the arm rest of the chair, sighing deeply. He really didn't want this to turn into a date where he was afraid to do anything because of what Stella might think, aka his date with Stephanie. Stella was in the past, and he had to move forward. It was just as his mother said. He may have loved her, but she wasn't right for him. Kendall knew it. He did think Jo was pretty, and sweet, and smart, and he was indeed attracted to her, so what was stopping Kendall from simply putting an arm around her, and hugging her a bit closer to him? There was no harm in that, was there? He needed to move on, knowing that he and Stella weren't together anymore, even if he did still love her.
The rationale gears in Kendall's head began slowly turning, his entire body releasing tension like a rush of water, as he took a deep breath. He slowly reverted back to old sly move he had used with Chrissy Jenkins when they had gone to the movies years ago. Kendall non-chalantly itched his eyebrow, and slid his hand to the back of his hair, fingers going through the sleek blonde locks easily. He then slowly curved his arm around Jo's seat with a small sniffle, his hand gently grazing her far shoulder, as his thumb scratched under his opposite ear nervously. Jo looked up at him with a small smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, as she sighed and moved closer into him. She allowed her hand to slowly rest on his knee for a few seconds, and then took it away, allowing Kendall to know she was indeed comfortable with the gesture, as both their eyes remained locked on the movie, wide smiles on each of their faces.
Logan who had seen this entire thing unfold smiled, pulling Camille, who sat next to Jo, closer to him with a smile, the two lovers acknowledging Kendall's interest in the sweet blonde.
"Good for him," Camille whispered softly, her eyes still locked on the screen.
An hour and a half later, after the horrid romantic comedy Logan and Kendall had sat through with their dates, they finally stood outside the theater, the cold night trickling up on them, the black sky barely lit by any stars tonight. Kendall looked up and smiled at the peaceful black sky, the breeze through his hair quite pleasantly in the busy night.
"It's almost like the sky is made of velvet tonight," Kendall said softly to Jo, who stood next to him with a smile, looking up alongside him. Both their hands dangled freely at their sides, just inches from touching.
Logan and Camille sat beside the two on a bench, Camille in Logan's arms, as he kissed her hair gently, and took in her wonderful scent. Logan was true when he said he didn't like PDA, but this public display of affection was more actual affection than anything else. Kendall watched as Logan's brown eyes looked extremely at peace as he and Camille sat there, intimately whispering in each other's ears, just taking in the beautiful scene in front of them on a busy Hollywood street, the lights of the big city just a few blocks from them. Kendall couldn't have been happier for his best friend, knowing that Logan deserved someone to love, especially with everything going on his life. He had never seen Logan so absolutely fawned over one person so much, and was more than excited for Logan for all the wonderful things that came along with a girlfriend that he had never experienced before.
"I know, it's absolutely breathtaking," she said with an airy voice, and a poignant smile. "I like stars and all, but sometimes, the sky can do without them just fine," Jo whispered with wonder, her gaze going to Kendall, who stared at her intently with awe. Kendall suddenly felt a large gulp of nervousness slide down his throat and into his stomach like he had never felt before, as his hand gently meshed with Jo's under the lights of the movie theater marquee. Jo looked down at their hands loosely intertwined and then back up at Kendall with a small smile. She turned her body more to his with surprise as Kendall looked from her lips to her eyes.
Not only did he want to kiss another woman, he wanted to kiss a woman who wasn't Stella.
Kendall breathed out shakily and slowly and awkwardly leaned in, arching his head to his left. Jo slowly leaned in as well, the two pairs of lips meeting in a soft, tender and sweet kiss. Kendall tightened his grip on Jo's hand a bit, not being able to help the initial thought of Stella going through his mind when he touched Jo's lips. Kendall moved his head a bit into the innocent kiss, his lips locking with hers, when a loud, obnoxious rock song was heard from the pocket of Kendall's jeans, accompanied by an audible vibration. Jo and Kendall instantly parted with a jerk, chuckling a bit. Jo shyly licked the taste of him off her lips with a giggle, and taking her finger to daintily wipe off a bit of Kendall's saliva from the top of her lip.
"I'm sorry," Kendall chuckled out nervously, his voice and knees weak at the fact that he was kissing someone who wasn't Stella. Someone who he actually wanted to kiss. It was odd. He hadn't been nervous kissing Stella, but with Jo, it was as if he wanted to explode everywhere. Kendall slid open his phone and brought it to his ear, wiping his lips adorably with a smile, wondering who would be calling him.
"Hello?" he asked curiously, still smiling at Jo who seemed glowing.
"Kendall, you and Logan need to get back here now," James said worriedly, the fear in his voice beyond evident to Kendall. Jo looked at how Kendall's giddy, happy face changed from one to confusion and fear based on the words from the other person on the phone.
"Why, what's going on?" Kendall asked baffled, turning to Logan with a confused face on, seeing him stand up with Camille's hand tightly in his, and walk over to them a bit concerned. "What's going on?" Logan asked softly a bit concerned, as Jo stood next to Kendall, with an arm on his lower back gently. Kendall mouthed I don't know, all eyes on him, as James said something to him. Kendall was unable to hear due to the passing cars, and sounds of drone horns from all over the city. Logan and Camille moved closer to them.
"James, I can't hear you, speak up," Kendall said to him loudly, his other hand holding his left ear closed.
"It's Carlos' dad, Kendall," James said worriedly, his voice tense. Kendall gave Logan a confused look and licked his lips confused, trying his hardest to hear James as loud as he could.
"What about him?" Kendall yelled into the phone loudly, trying to block out the busy cars on the road as best as he could. James sighed deeply, his voice breaking apart at the seams.
"Someone shot him."