A/N: Flashback time! If you'd be so kind as to review, I'd be most grateful.

)O(

Three weeks earlier...

Friday

6:30p.m.

Only a few hours were left to save Shaun Mars, and he was reaching the end of his rope. A lack of sleep and triptocaine were starting to take their toll. The information he needed had to be somewhere in ARI's data, but its idea of 'helping' was apparently to give him a headache.

And if all that wasn't bad enough, Carter Blake decided at that moment to let himself into Jayden's office. That was never a good sign.

"All packed up and ready to go?" Blake asked in a bizarrely light tone.

Jayden removed the glasses and stared at the other man in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The investigation's over. I caught the Origami Killer, everyone is happy, and your services are no longer needed." Blake smiled triumphantly. "I'd be lying if I said I was gonna miss you."

"Ethan Mars is not the Origami Killer." the profiler ground out, trying to suppress the tide of anger rising inside him. "He's innocent and you know it! You have no solid evidence connecting him to this case."

"That doesn't matter now. At least I have more than theories, which is all you got." the lieutenant responded calmly. "You're done, Norman, so why don't you pack up and fuck off?" Then he turned to leave, but Jayden was already on his feet now.

"Blake," he shouted. "You are an unbalanced, psychopathic asshole!" It was everything he'd ever wanted to say since meeting him. The asshole in question turned around and grinned.

"I'll take that as a compliment." he said.

Once he had gone, Jayden fell back into the chair, his pulse racing. He might have even smashed ARI at that point. Before he knew what was happening, the vial was in his hand. For so long, he had been able to resist, but now the blue powder was just too goddamn compelling. Jayden brought the vial to his nose, and breathed deep...

It was an admission of failure, and it wouldn't be his last that day either. And as much as he also hated to admit it, this wasn't entirely Blake's fault; Blake hadn't forced him to take triptocaine.

Speaking of tripto, it was becoming increasingly difficult to think about his failures. All at once the anger, pain, frustration, self-pity - everything melted away. His eyes settled on the ceiling, which was infinitely fascinating in its off-whiteness. Then his heart rate returned to normal and a few wonderfully thoughtless minutes passed.

But it was over just as quickly. Worries resurfaced and he caught sight of ARI, which now laid forgotten on the dust-covered surface of his desk. Well, never forgotten, just set aside for a rainy day...a day like today...All right, maybe the effects of the tripto hadn't completely worn off yet.

Jayden sat at the desk in his own private autumn forest, sunlight streaming down from the trees. He sifted through every virtual file and tiny shred of evidence, searching for a name, a place - something. But then the first bolt of lightning struck the earth. The sky above him darkened; it began to rain. This was not normal.

A single rivulet of blood slowly trickled down his cheek.

Immediately, Jayden's heart sank, because he had failed. He had screwed up somewhere along the line, missed a vital clue, rendering the puzzle unsolvable. Not even ARI could help him now.

ARI was trying to kill him.

Pulling the glasses off his face, he blinked rapidly, eyes readjusting to the terrible realness of the small room. Then he flung the glove aside as well. No triptocaine, not now, even though he felt utterly powerless. How had his life spiraled out of control so fucking fast?

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered if Shaun Mars died. And right now that boy's life was in his hands, and he had failed. Many times during the investigation, Jayden had felt like he was the only one on the police force actually trying to save the kid; he hoped that wasn't true.

You might as well have drowned him yourself, Norman, and all the others.

Teardrops mixed with blood, and the seconds kept on slipping away.

)O(

It had been a long time since he hadn't worn a suit.

"Are you sure you've thought this through, Norman?" Jayden's superior asked, clearly displeased with the prospect of losing one of his best agents. Oh yeah, I am damn sure. The older man sighed and went on, "You have a promising career ahead of you." Jayden knew that, too, but it wasn't worth his sanity.

"With all due respect, sir, I'm done thinking." he said, the weariness evident in his voice. "I need to lead something like a normal life." If only he had the slightest idea what that meant. "I've just got a bit too close to everything recently. I need to step back, at least for a while."

It was the best explanation he could give. Of course the FBI wasn't entirely to blame either. Hell, he wouldn't have even been able to get as close as he had to catching the Origami Killer were it not for ARI's help, but it would have killed him, and he didn't want to die before at least turning forty. Was that selfish? Probably...

The older man picked up on the 'at least for a while' part and ran with it. "Will you be coming back to the FBI?" he asked next. Jayden wanted so much to be able to say 'no' with absolute certainty.

But even he had to admit that when sweet Lady Triptocaine called to him, there was little in this world that could keep them apart.

"I don't know." Jayden said. "I'm making no promises."

Then it came time to hand over his gun and his badge, which he placed on the desk with minimal hesitation. Finally, his fingers curled around the frames of the familiar glasses. They contained so much: an ocean, a forest, even another planet as well as proof of all his accomplishments and failures. Intense feelings of both regret and relief washed over him as he stared back into the mesh lenses, glaring at him from their place on the desk.

"You can keep your ARI, if you like." his superior informed him, perhaps noticing Jayden's apprehension. "This one's going off-line; there's a new model due next month."

For some reason, he wanted to punch that man in the face. Why did he have to make this more difficult? Why did he have to suggest Jayden keep the very device that was out to kill him?

"I...I think you'd better take it back." he insisted, wondering what they would do with his personal universe. Probably just destroy it. You know it's for the best, Norman. Otherwise it will destroy you instead. "It's just a little too compelling." That was true. Then he added, much quieter, "And it won't help me where I'm going: the real world."

That was also true.

"Whatever you want," The man who would not be his superior for very much longer looked at him. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Norman." It was the most genuine thing he had ever said to Jayden.

At last, he stood up and nodded, already moving toward the door. "I hope so, too." he said.

The real world was waiting.