Authors Notes: No I haven't abandoned this fanfic nor Blossom. I just have a life now but hopefully when the little one is at pre-school next week I will have more time to write.I seriously dont drink, never have, never will so I have no idea if this drink is strong or not. I also don't condone underage drinking you seriously screw up your life's. I have seen a lot of my school mates go from normal to basically living in centers for addictions, not a pretty sight. Okay I have babbled enough. Oh BTW Im pretty miffed about DHPT2 especially the boathouse scene, I mean WTH? Because it was romantic? Give me a break he dies! How is that romantic? Sigh rambling over.
UNDER YOUR GAZE
He nursed the whiskey he was on his fifth or was it his sixth glass? He couldn't remember that was good he wanted to forget that whole evening. Actually he wanted to forget that whole evening, scratch that make it the whole friggin day. He sighed, it was no use it had played back in his mind, over and over what he wouldn't give for a dreamless sleep potion. That was the past though, everything to do with that damn world, well almost everything except for her. He sighed again, letting the ice-cubes melt. He was suddenly angry. Why did Potter die?, Hadnt he looked after him? Protected him? Voices from the past seemed to come back and haunt him.
His Fathers sharp biting tongue. 'Everyone around you is doomed. You're pathetic and so is that worthless Mother of yours.' More voices from his past made the glass slip and shatter. He put his head in his hands trying desperately to make them go away. 'Loser Snivellus.' Potter. 'No way you could protect him, he was my godson.' Sirius but the most haunting of all was his first love. The only words she said were: 'Why Severus? Why?' Everything suddenly went black.
Meanwhile in another part of London, Ginny was also having trouble sleeping. She couldn't believe she had run into that git! He was meant to be dead, DEAD! Life seriously wasn't fair, she screamed into a lounge cushion muffling the noise, lest the neighbours think she was being attacked or burglarized. She felt like apparating to Hermoines and Rons place but it was late and who knew if they were asleep or up to other activities. She could always apparate to the Burrow but then her Mother would worry about her, and her Mother had enough stress to deal with as it was. She missed her brothers like crazy especially the twins it wasn't fair that Fred had died. Was she doomed to live a life alone? Everyone seemed to be dying around her and there was nothing she could do. Tears slowly made their way down her cheeks, she laughed then a sarcastic little mock laugh. That was something the git and her had in common people they loved dying on them.
More tears began to fall, she kept willing herself to stop but they just kept coming, her breathing was hitched. She kept telling herself to calm down, otherwise she was going to be sick, correction she was going to be sick, she leapt from the couch and ran to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach of basically everything she had for dinner which wasnt much. Once she was done she flushed the toilet and slumped against the bathroom wall, trying to get her breathing under control. She rinsed her mouth out and went back to sit on the couch, hugging the couch cushion closely to her chest, she pushed the button on the remote for the t.v. contraption and tried to ease her mind that way, letting these fascinating shows try and relax her into sleep, which she was sure would never come exhausted or not.
Severus awoke in his favourite green chair, head slumped towards the ground, it was a miracle he hadn't fallen face first onto the floor. Or that he hadn't drowned in a pool of his own vomit. His head was throbbing and he had a feeling the dull ache would be with him all day. Maybe he should just crawl back into bed. What had woken him in the first place? Oh the light filtering through the windows, he would see to that when he could actually see normally, instead of painful bursts of bright white light, followed by double vision. He stood making it to the bathroom none to easily and he was thankful his house was small. He would literally kill for a hangover potion right about now. Yes he would kill that bastard Voldemort, over and over again and he would take pleasure in it. He made a mental note to buy the darkest sunglasses he could find. When suddenly a shrill ringing was going through his head, he cupped his hands over his ears as if that would stop it, but it kept going.
He had to find the source of the noise before it drove him insane, the shrill ringing kept going, until he found the source it was the telephone. Of course the stupid muggle contraption would interfere with his peace and quiet and frankly he had no idea why he installed the stupid thing. It was probably because he sort to live his life their way and forget all about the wizarding world. Once again he was cursing Ginevra Weasley nay Potter for ever coming back into his life, it was going oh so well. Here he was just another old man, a bachelor that liked his solitude, that didnt really deserve happiness or love. He was adjusting though, the ringing of the phone driving him insane maybe he should just pull the cord? Instead he picked up the receiver and all but growled into the phone. "What?" He was in no mood to converse, but when he heard the voice on the other end, he felt like crawling into the cellar and throwing away the key.
"Im, Im sorry is this the residence of a Snape?" The voice on the other end of the line was male and obviously a little scared at the ex-potion masters tone.
"Yes, yes I am so sorry for my behaviour earlier, it was unbecoming of me, I have had a very difficult night, which is no excuse, but once again I apologise." The man on the other end of the line seemed to be taken back with Snape's words.
"Quiet alright it is after all still very early in the morning, I rang to say that you had missed your appointment." Snape swore mindful to put the receiver away from him whilst he did so, he wasnt lying when he said he had a prior engagement when he found Ginny.
"Once again I must apologise, I ran into a former..." What could he call her, student? Then they would want to know where he had been teaching, for how long, what subjects. The wife of a boy he never really liked, because his idiot of a Father ended up marrying someone he was so deeply in love with, yet he promised to protect him and he had failed, he was getting off track with his thinking. "An acquaintance who happened to faint in the street, her husband has regrettably just recently passed. Is there any way I could possibly reschedule?" Severus needed this, he really did otherwise he would be doing what most teens did and working at McDonalds and that could not happen.
"We usually dont reschedule however we are very impressed with your resume, and we would like to very much like to meet and discuss your future prospects." Severus was praying with all his might it wouldn't be today, his head was still spinning and felt like it split in two, he held his breath and waited. He could hear flicking of paper before the man on the other line spoke.
"How is this Thursday for you?" He sighed in relief, he could go to bed and sleep and wake up.
"That's great, what time should I come in?" Severus wrote down the date, and the time and said goodbye. He drew the blinds and climbed out of his clothes into bed and was fast asleep.