Deus Ex Machina [god in the machine]
Quinn blinked herself downstairs in an instant; she was thankful it was still daylight, otherwise the entire house would have been flooded with lights, making the fact that someone was there a lot more obvious. The blond stretched up and looked through the peephole on the door. "Oh, shit," Quinn breathed out, pushing herself off the door and quickly glancing behind her. "I told you to wait upstairs," Quinn whispered, momentarily forgetting that only Rachel could hear her.
"I didn't want you going alone," Rachel whispered back as she made her way down the hall, knowing she could be heard, "Who is it?"
"Your idiot ex-boyfriend," Quinn said back, her tone bitter, "He's with some other moron out there; look and see for yourself and then explain to me how he found you here."
Rachel lowered her head in contempt as she walked by Quinn, accidentally brushing their hands together, as she made her way to the door. Quinn's lips parted in a silent gasp as she watched Rachel pause and turn to look back at her with a soft smile. "Can you feel that like I can?"
Quinn blinked in shock as she cocked her head to the side. "You can feel me…?"
The brunette somehow met Quinn's eyes and nodded, adding, "I can feel when you enter a room, sit or stand near me, and when you touch me somehow. Can you feel me?" Rachel asked, hopefully.
After a moment of hesitation, Quinn lied, "No."
The girl's eyes met for an instant - always unknown to Rachel, Quinn thought in amusement - before their thoughts were interrupted by another knock on the door. Rachel calmly turned away from the ghost and made her way to the door. Quinn let out a long sigh as her eyes slid closed the moment the brunette opened the door.
"Finn… Noah, what are you two doing here?" Quinn heard Rachel ask from her spot behind the door. She moved to stand right behind Rachel in curiosity.
Finn was wearing what Quinn could only best describe to be a gassy infant look, and the other guy with Finn was staring at Rachel with sympathetic eyes.
"I could ask you the same thing, Rachel," Finn began, bringing his eyes up to roam the house over Rachel's head, "Puck says the Fabrays are out of town."
Quinn gulped silently as she turned to fully face Rachel. She's good at keeping her calm, Quinn thought, as she watched the girl not break her façade once. "They are indeed, Finn. Ever since Puck told me that this house is rumored to be haunted, I did some research and found that vandals often come in here whilst the Fabrays are away. I decided to do some house-sitting for them."
Quinn turned and faced Finn to judge his reaction to the lie. Her heart dropped as she saw him shaking his head. "No, Rachel… You've been visiting this house for weeks because you think the "ghost" is here. I've watched you sitting in here talking to yourself…"
Quinn's eyes widened, mimicking Rachel's actions, as the brunette hastily shook her head. "You're mistaken, Finn," she rambled out when she saw the direction that the situation was heading in. Quinn knew there was no point in Rachel trying to make Finn believe the truth; he wouldn't believe her, hell, most sane people wouldn't believe Rachel.
"You need help, Rachel, okay? I'm going to help you. I love you, so I'm going to help you," Finn cooed. Quinn felt a slow panic build up within her as she watched Puck push off the pillar by the porch and make his way next to Finn. "Just come with us, Rachel."
Quinn saw the panic in Rachel's eyes as the brunette took a step backwards; her Converse stepping through Quinn's flats as the brunette stepped straight into Quinn's arms and for the first time, Quinn didn't care that she was being walked through. "Run," Quinn yelled into Rachel's mind as the smaller girl turned and made a beeline for the staircase.
Ten steps. Quinn counted; Rachel made it ten steps before Finn picked her up and slung her over his shoulder like she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.
Rachel felt her feet leave the ground and the wind leave her lungs as Finn threw her over his shoulder. "It'll be okay, Rachel," Finn said to her as he made his way out of the house.
"Rachel! Fight! You can't let him take you," she heard Quinn screaming into her ear. Rachel knew Quinn was right; she knew Finn and Puck were going to take her somewhere for counseling, or worse, to the psychiatric ward.
"You need help, Rachel; I'm only here to help."
"Please, Rachel, fight it. Run. Don't listen to them! You're not crazy!"
"I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm just… well, maybe you are, but just a little."
"God so help me, Rachel, don't let them do this. Don't let them talk you into believing you're crazy."
Rachel heard Finn and Quinn go back and forth; Finn's words were mumbled and terrifying as he held her against him, forbidden her from moving, whereas Quinn's words were frantic but comforting, giving Rachel hope that she would be okay.
"Finn, what you and Noah are doing right now is incredibly illegal. I highly suggest that you put me down right this instant. It's snowing, it's cold, and I am not in the mood to deal with this. Besides, Noah, I thought you were with Lauren at your house," Rachel lectured, desperately trying to fight Finn's grasp.
Puck pursed his lips as he kicked at a rock as they walked towards his truck in the Fabray driveway. "She got pissed at me and bailed. She's a hard chick to tame."
Rachel rolled her eyes as she tried to keep her cool. "Noah, please, you see the madness behind what Finn is pulling here, don't you?"
As Puck unlocked the passenger door to his truck and kicked down the seat to give access to the backseat, he caught Rachel's eye, and mumbled, "Yeah, Rach, I do. But I also think my boy Finn here has a point. You're sitting in some house, by yourself, interacting with yourself… that's a whole new level of crazy, even for you."
Rachel bit her lip as she realized she was trying to argue with two brick walls. She allowed Finn to get her in the backseat of Puck's truck and then put himself in the passenger side. The truck roared to life as Puck steered them, much to Rachel's horror, towards Lima's major hospital. The brunette let out a quiet sigh. She knew the boys were only trying to help her. Granted, they had been spying on her for some time, apparently, and thought she was legitimately crazy. Why was it so hard for people to believe in something that they couldn't see? Why did no one have faith in anything anymore?
Rachel laid her forehead against the cool glass of the window as she crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't had a chance to grab her jacket when she had been "escorted" out; she hoped Quinn would be able to hide it if necessary. Quinn. Rachel paused as the left side of her body began to tingle. Not lifting her forehead from the glass, Rachel smiled softly, whispering, "What are you doing here?"
"I thought this would be more entertaining than a movie."
Rachel watched the Lima suburbs fly by outside of the window as she laughed lightly, "But those horror movies that you love to watch are on today."
"The one about the girl being shipped off to the asylum isn't on until next week and I couldn't contain my anticipation," Rachel heard Quinn say from right next to her, not missing a beat.
"You care about me," Rachel stated softly, finally turning to face the other side of the backseat.
Puck drove on, mindlessly chatting with Finn about football statistics, completely unaware of their fourth passenger. It was only after five minutes before Rachel heard a response from Quinn. "I don't think I'd be here otherwise."
Rachel stood with her hands on her hips, the sun setting behind her cast a red glow through the glass doors of the ER entrance, as she frowned at the woman behind the counter. "I hope by now you've realized what a horrendous mistake has been made here," she chided, "and I must ask you to tell these two imbeciles to take me home now."
The nurse behind the counter pinched the bridge of her nose under her glasses as she let out a ragged sigh. "All right, listen," she began, "it was illegal for them to bring you here against your wishes, yes. They also brought you to the wrong location; this is the ER, not the psyche ward. But if what they're saying is true, maybe you should just follow this hallway to the left and -"
"Excuse me," a strong voice called out, cutting off the nurse, "but what in the hell is going on here?"
Rachel turned away from the counter as Finn and Puck let out a groan, simultaneously dropping their hold on Rachel's arms, but the chill against Rachel's back didn't disappear. "Dads," Rachel sighed in relief.
Hiram and Leroy hastily made their way through the ER doors, snow free, before they rushed up to the counter. Rachel noted that the storm outside had passed, but now it was time to deal with the storm inside.
"We got your text," Hiram rushed out as he wrapped his arm around his daughter and sent a glare to Finn.
Rachel looked baffled as she quickly searched her skirt pockets for her phone. She paused; she'd left her phone in Puck's truck and most certainly hadn't sent her fathers any text. Rachel turned slightly to the side as she heard a low chuckle hang in the air. A small laugh escaped the brunette as she shook her head.
"Rachel," Leroy asked, "what is going on here? Why are you here? Are you hurt?"
"No, daddy, I'm not hurt. Puck and Finn physically dragged me here from Quinn's house," Rachel calmly explained.
Finn muttered an "oh my God" at hearing Rachel's explanation, and Puck just looked shocked.
Hiram cocked an eyebrow and turned to the boys. "Do you have something to say about my daughter, Finn?" he asked, standing a good foot below the quarterback.
Despite the height difference, Finn cowered, backing away and shaking his head. "No sir," he mumbled.
Leroy hadn't taken his eyes off his daughter. Rachel watched Hiram turn from Finn and speak to the nurse at the counter to get the full story.
"You sent them a text via my phone, Quinn, really?" Rachel questioned, trying to speak from the corner of her mouth while most attention was diverted off her.
"No," she heard whispered back into her ear.
Rachel rolled her eyes and huffed. "I'm not a moron, I'll have you know, and I'm smart enough to-"
"Not send them a text yourself?" she heard shot back at her, her ghost's tone laced with amusement.
"Point taken," Rachel muttered, casting quick glances at Finn and Hiram to make sure all attention was still off of her, "but I didn't know that you were able to text on a phone."
Quinn was silent for a moment before she responded to Rachel, saying, "I didn't know that I could, either. It took a lot out of me. Next time, don't be a moron and save your own ass. You're just lucky that I had nothing better to do."
Rachel bit her lip and rolled her eyes before gasping quietly as she met eyes with Leroy, who had been watching her the whole time. Talking to herself; or so it seemed.
She stood stock still, staring in shock at the larger man in front of her. The brunette heard a whispered "oh, God; oh, shit" before the electricity in her bones and the chill on her back disappeared. Quinn had left.
Rachel snapped out of her reverie as Hiram laid a soft hand on her shoulder, mumbling, "It's been settled, Rachel, and now we're going home. Tell these considerate morons good bye."
The brunette turned to Finn and Puck, who were standing by the counter looking guilty and disheveled, and shook her head. She didn't spare them another glance as she followed her fathers out of the hospital and towards their car in the parking lot. She took a breath as she tried to steady herself; the worst was yet to come, she thought, and she dreaded going home.
"Have a seat at the table, Rachel," Leroy commanded as the family walked through the front door. Rachel froze in the hallway, her back to her fathers, as Hiram shot Leroy a confused look.
The tiny diva puffed out her chest as she made her way to the kitchen table before sitting down. "I am fully aware of what you're thinking, daddy," Rachel began.
Leroy held his hand up to silence her as he and Hiram took the seats opposite her at the table. "No, you're not, Rachel. I saw something today at the hospital that intrigued me," Leroy stated, turning to Hiram, "and you missed it, honey. I saw Rachel speak with Quinn while you were speaking with the nurse."
Hiram blinked at Leroy behind his glasses, sending his husband a subtly confused look, before turning to Rachel. "Quinn was with you in the ER?"
Rachel gaped at Leroy. "Daddy, I honestly cannot tell whether you believe me to be insane or not," Rachel said, almost desperately, "and it's terrifying me."
"Rachel," Leroy began.
"If you would just take a moment to consider the notion that I'm not utterly-"
"Rachel," Leroy tried to cut in.
"And completely insane," Rachel continued, barreling over the man in a mild panic, "then I think you could see-"
"Sweetie," Hiram added, trying to shut Rachel up.
"That talking to a spirit is not-"
"Rachel!" both men yelled, catching the brunette's attention.
Leroy nodded his thanks to his husband before shaking his head at his daughter. "We need to meet her," he stated, looking towards Hiram for support.
The shorter man nodded his head as he reached over and squeezed his husband's hand. "Yes, Rachel, we want to believe you and…for the most part, we do. However, we don't think it's asking much to be able to meet Quinn. Is she here now?"
Rachel gaped before laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, but are you honestly asking me to bring my ghost home so you can meet her?"
Leroy raised a dark eyebrow as he released Hiram's hand and folded his large arms over his chest. "We have strict rules here, Rachel. We made you bring Finn home," he stated, ignoring Rachel's incoherent sputters of astonishment, "and Puckerman too, for that matter. I think that it's only proper that we meet the girl you've been spending so much time with."
Rachel sat with her mouth agape in shock, sputtering out, "You are aware that I am not dating my spirit, right, daddy?"
Leroy shook his head, biting back a smile as Hiram squeezed his knee secretly. "That's irrelevant, Rachel. We want to meet her. Can you call her here?"
Quinn sat at her kitchen table in pure darkness; now dressed in a white sundress and a red cardigan with her fingers nervously drumming together on the tabletop. Her first four fingers drummed against the palm of her left hand as she shook her head. Staring off into space in thought, Quinn sighed in exasperation as she closed her eyes.
What was she doing? First, she tells Rachel about the Ombra. Then, she tells the girl her damn life story. Finally, she allows herself to care about her to the extent of playing hero and getting Rachel saved. Twice.
Where was this getting her? Where would this road lead her if she continued to follow Rachel down it? Nowhere, Quinn thought, answering her own question. She would just end up caring more about Rachel, and eventually Rachel would leave her. Eventually Rachel would leave Lima, and Quinn wouldn't be able to follow her. Not with this stupid curse and -
"Damn it!" Quinn shouted, "Why would I want to follow her? What is it that draws me to her?" Quinn sighed again, staring into the blackness of her kitchen. What if Quinn had given a piece of herself to Rachel the night of the crash? What if Rachel had given Quinn a piece of herself? What if there was something more there?
Quinn paused. What if there was something more there…? Quinn slowly raised her gaze from the darkness of her kitchen to the bright moon in her window. What if Rachel thought of her as more than just a ghost? As more than just something that should be feared or studied. What if -
"Quinn!" Quinn snapped her gaze forward as she pushed herself out of the chair.
"What?" Quinn questioned the empty kitchen, "Rachel?"
"Quinn!" the ghost heard again. Her head whipped around the empty space as she ignited the kitchen lights. Nothing. Rachel wasn't in the house.
Quinn seethed. "Oh what the hell," she mumbled, "if she thinks she can just beckon me like some damn-"
"Quinn!"
"What?" Quinn screamed, suddenly standing in the middle of the brightly lit Berry kitchen in front of Rachel.
The brunette teetered backwards in surprise before steadying herself and grinning. Leroy and Hiram sat in their same spots at the table, mouths agape after seeing their daughter's hair whip back from a seemingly imaginary burst of wind.
Quinn froze. She watched Rachel's grin instantly falter as she felt the tension radiating off Quinn. "Rachel," Quinn whispered, "what in the hell is this?"
"My fathers needed to meet you, Quinn," Rachel whispered back, "They said they needed to meet the girl that I've been spending so much time with." Quinn's eyes widened. "I think they also needed this so they can believe me about you-"
Quinn turned to face the two men she had seen in the hospital. "Hello," she said clearly, pausing and waiting, judging their reactions. When the men showed no signs of hearing her, Quinn turned back to Rachel, eyebrows raised. "Oh yeah, that's right, you're the only person who can hear me, Rachel, unless you've forgotten. How am I supposed to "meet your parents"," Quinn air quoted, "when they can't hear me?"
"Quinn, please, calm down," Rachel urged.
"Calm down?" Quinn shouted, "Why should I calm down, Rachel? Do you not understand that I'm not used to dealing with people? Yet, you managed to call me here to meet your fucking dads!" Quinn yelled, balling her fists at her sides while seething with anger.
The ghost met Rachel's gaze in time to see the brunettes eyes turn dangerous as she planted her hands on her hips. "Quinn Fabray," Rachel started, "I don't care how angry you are with me; you do not use that word around me. Now, if you'll give me a chance to explain, I'll try to soothe your anger. Unless you wanted to yell some more and see if maybe you can knock some things off of the shelves while you're at it."
Quinn stood in shock as she was struck speechless. Unfortunately, Rachel took that as a sign to keep speaking for some unknown reason; Quinn was beginning to think the brunette just never stopped speaking. "My fathers needed to meet you," Rachel started, her voice strong before she lowered it so only Quinn could hear her, "Please…. I need you to prove your existence to someone else so they don't think I'm crazy, Quinn. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to just drag you here; in all honesty, I was hoping just calling you wouldn't work and that I could speak to you one-on-one before-"
"Rachel," Quinn interrupted, throwing a glance back at Rachel's poor dads, before continuing, "I'll do it. But this is the last thing that I'm doing for you, got it?"
The blond caught the flicker of affliction in Rachel's eyes before the brunette steeled her shoulders and nodded. "Deal."
Rachel turned to her fathers and felt a pang of sympathy as they sat, holding hands, in complete bewilderment. Leroy was the first to open his mouth and stutter out, "I take it Quinn's here?"
"Yes, daddy," Rachel said, moving forward slowly until she felt a familiar electrical tingling on her right side, "but you must understand that this isn't easy for her. I'm the only person who can hear her."
Leroy stood up to his full height of 6'2" and Rachel cringed as she felt Quinn move closer to her. "Be careful, daddy," Rachel cautioned.
Leroy hesitantly approached the space next to Rachel, and it took everything Rachel had to not burst out laughing at the sight of her incredibly large father shaking in his boots as he approached a seemingly empty section of the room.
Just as Leroy was about to take a step through Quinn, Rachel immediately put her tiny hand against his chest to stop him, shaking her head. "Don't step through her. She's about 5'6" as well, so factor in the height difference accordingly."
Hiram sat at the kitchen table and gaped at the scene playing out in front of him. Rachel noticed that his face betrayed the fear that he was trying to mask. As she looked back to Leroy, Rachel watched him hold out his large hand that he had curled in a fist. "I'm truly honored to meet you, Quinn," Leroy said as he waited for the ghost to give him a fist bump.
Hiram rolled his eyes at his husband. "How old are you, Leroy?"
The other man shot a glare back to the shorter man at the table. "How do you know she can actually shake a hand, Hiram? A fist touch seems easier - oh my God," he cut off as his head whipped back to his fist, "my hand is ice cold now."
"Tell him I'm pleased to meet him," Rachel heard.
Rachel smiled softly as a grin broke out over her father's features. "She says that she's pleased to meet you, daddy," Rachel recited softly.
Hiram launched out of the table and practically ran up to the group. Rachel gasped lightly as she felt Quinn quickly move to her other side. "Dad," Rachel chastised, "Please be more careful, you're scaring Quinn."
"Shut up, I'm not a wimp," Rachel heard whispered in her ear, but she could hear the subtle tremor in Quinn's voice.
"Oh, I apologize, Quinn. I'm just incredibly excited to meet you," Hiram hastily added as he latched onto his husband's arm with both hands. "I'll admit this is a new experience for our family; you know, meeting a ghost. Although I'll admit, I already like you better than Finn."
Rachel groaned as she heard a sharp laugh from next to her followed by a mumbled, "I think you'd like a brick more than you'd like Finn."
Rachel laughed loudly at Quinn's joke, causing Hiram to grin. "What did she say?" he questioned.
"She said she thinks you'd like a brick more than you'd like Finn," Rachel said as she bit her lip.
Hiram paused for a moment and Leroy looked confused before adding, "I'm confused as to what the difference is."
Quinn was the first to laugh at Rachel's daddy's joke; and laugh she did. Rachel was overcome with Quinn's laughter as soon as it hit her ears; the way it sounded so pure and angelic, and for a brief moment, Rachel could picture Quinn's eyes as they sparkled with happiness. It was almost instinctual for Rachel to throw her head back and join in Quinn's laughter, and before she knew it, everyone in the room was cracking up.
It was perfect. The brunette had tears in her eyes as she thought about how absolutely perfect this moment was; as if nothing in the world could ever ruin it. Most importantly, Rachel felt like Quinn belonged with them.
Hours later left Quinn sprawled out on her back on the Berry's kitchen table. It was well past midnight by then, and Quinn was both physically and mentally exhausted. It was weird for her, being a ghost, to feel physically drained. She liked it to a human feeling as if they have no strength or motivation to do anything but sleep; only for Quinn, it was her soul that felt like that when she exerted her physical presence too much.
"It's rather impolite to recline on your host's table, Quinn," Rachel berated from her spot on the chair next to Quinn's head.
"It's rather impolite to turn someone's world completely upside-down, too, but you don't hear me bitching," Quinn retorted as she rolled her head to the side to watch Rachel's face.
Her hazel eyes scanned over Rachel's expression as she saw the brunette visibly gulp; Quinn could see Rachel's mind racing as the brunette opened and closed her mouth, trying to think of the right words.
"What?" Quinn bit out, a little harsher than she intended.
Rachel's brows furrowed in surprise as she moved her eyes to search the air for Quinn's. "Fine, I understand that you're still angry with me, Quinn, and rightfully so."
Quinn arched an eyebrow as she watched Rachel for any sign that the brunette was going to continue on to an apology. After a moment, Quinn grew impatient. "And?"
"And what?" Rachel asked, obliviously.
Quinn's expectant look turned into a glare as she said, "And now is the time when you apologize for what you did to me tonight!"
Rachel had the audacity, in Quinn's opinion, to look angry. "Excuse me? You enjoyed yourself, Quinn. I did you a favor by bringing you into contact with more people. The last ghost books I read specifically discussed-"
"I don't care what your damn books said, Rachel! Or about your "ghost" theories, or your "ghost" notes," Quinn roared, suddenly standing right in front of Rachel, "Is that all I am to you?"
Rachel didn't say a word as she stared up into the space where Quinn was standing. "Answer me, Rachel. Am I only a science experiment to you? A research study? Is that why you brought me here tonight? So you could prove to your dads that you're not insane and therefore can continue your little experiment?" Quinn questioned, losing herself in her rage. She didn't notice the glow that was forming around her, or that the electricity in the air was making Rachel's hair stand on end, or that the chairs around the table were lightly shaking; Quinn was only focused on the ideas in her mind that were rapidly barreling over her rationality.
"Stop that, Quinn," Rachel insisted as she sat up a little straighter in her chair, "You're being ridiculous. If I had known that you would have been so adverse to coming here, I would have risked living in an insane asylum instead. Is that what you want to hear?"
Quinn stared at Rachel with lifeless eyes. "Don't do me any favors, Rachel, and that includes lying to me," she whispered, eerily.
Rachel abruptly stood up; with how close Quinn was already standing by her, Rachel ended up standing within Quinn by a few inches. "I am not lying to you, Quinn Fabray," Rachel seethed, "I just don't understand where all of this is suddenly coming from. You're angered by the fact that my interests are peaked because of who you are-"
"What I am," Quinn interrupted, bitterly, wildly gesturing to her body that Rachel was standing within.
"Who you are," Rachel practically screamed, "Where is all of this coming from, Quinn?"
"From you not answering my damn question!" Quinn yelled.
"What does it matter?" Rachel screamed back, "Why does it matter so much to you? I thought you didn't care!" Quinn hadn't stepped back from Rachel, and the blond began to notice that the air around her was glowing with blue light and every hair on Rachel's body was standing up.
"It matters because I'm not some fucking science experiment that you get to parade around and take credit for discovering," the ghost snarled.
"No, you're not!" Rachel yelled, and Quinn almost drew back a little at the look in Rachel's eyes, "I never said you were! You were the one who didn't want me getting close to you. I read those stupid ghosts books because I'm trying to figure out why you're trapped here, okay? I'm trying to figure out how to save you."
"I don't need saving!" Quinn yelled. The ghost couldn't explain where her rage was coming from; all she knew was that from her thoughts back in her own kitchen to now, she had somehow become betrayed along the way. However, she couldn't remember the last time she had been this mad. That, combined with Rachel literally standing in her, fueled her anger enough to knock over the chairs at the table with her last outburst.
"You need to calm down, Quinn," Rachel began. Quinn didn't see an ounce of fear in those brown eyes as they bore into her, "Whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bringing you here, I'm sorry for intruding into your life and turning it upside down, I'm sorry for everything. I thought we were making progress; I thought we were friends. Clearly, I was wrong and I am in fact causing you far too much distress by being in your life. I'll leave you alone if that's the problem here."
"I don't want you to leave me!" Quinn bellowed, "That's the problem!" The ghost paused as she saw the glow around her presence flare up dramatically. Rachel stepped back from her hastily, tripping backwards over the fallen chair behind her. Quinn furrowed her brows as she saw the brunette's eyes widen in shock. "Rachel-"
"Quinn," the brunette breathed out on the floor, not bothering to stand up; Quinn watched Rachel's eyes fill with tears, "What have we done?"
Quinn's expression turned into hard confusion as she took a step towards Rachel, asking, "What do you mean?"
"I can see you," Rachel whispered in awe.
"…W-what did you say?" Quinn whispered, freezing in her tracks.
"I can see you, Quinn."
"That's not funny."
Rachel slowly got up from the floor and approached Quinn. The ghost watched Rachel trace her eyes along Quinn's body, moving her eyes from Quinn's feet to her hair, then slowly settle on her eyes. Rachel was staring directly into her eyes. "I see you, Quinn. I see you," Rachel breathed out with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Rachel had felt the air changing around her rapidly as she'd been fighting with Quinn, but she had no idea that things were getting as bad as they were until Quinn's outburst literally focused her energy enough to knock the chairs over. Rachel hadn't been deterred, however, and she sure as hell wasn't scared of Quinn. She hadn't been scared when she knew she was standing in Quinn, nor was she scared when she saw the air around Quinn glowing.
Now though? Now she was scared. She was terrified because standing in front of her, looking for all the world like the gorgeous girl she had seen in the picture, was Quinn Fabray, in the ghostly flesh. Rachel slowly advanced on a terrified looking Quinn until she was standing less than an inch from her. She could see Quinn clearly, despite the blue glow around her and the fact that Rachel could see through her.
Regardless, here they were. Rachel's breath swirled in front of her from the ice in the air; the temperature in the room had dropped a good ten to twenty degrees due to all of the energy that Quinn had unknowingly drawn in to materialize. The brunette was in utter awe as she took in Quinn's white sundress that stopped just above her knees, tied at the waist by a white rope belt, and the red, fuzzy cardigan with sleeves that covered her hands from being so long. The ghost's long, blond hair cascaded down her back and shoulders in waves and choppy bangs fell into her eyes. Oh, God, her eyes, Rachel thought. Quinn was about three or four inches taller than Rachel, but Rachel only had to tilt her head back a little to be able to look into Quinn's eyes, and so she did. "My God," Rachel breathed out in wonder.
She noticed Quinn's eyes had never left Rachel's. As she stared into the hazel-green eyes now, she saw pure terror, but trust. Rachel saw trust in Quinn's eyes, and she silently wondered how much it hurt Quinn to put that much trust into her.
"Do you want to see…?" Rachel questioned, silently, her voice hanging thick in the air as Quinn gave no response.
"I don't know," Quinn whispered back a few moments later. Rachel's expression was soft as she gazed at Quinn affectionately. The blond never moved her eyes from Rachel's, and the brunette's eyes flickered with grief as she noted that the terror had not left Quinn's eyes. Quinn was rooted in the same spot she'd been in minutes before. She was terrified, confused, and completely bewildered; it was clear to Rachel that Quinn had no idea what to do, she hadn't been seen in ten years and now that she was, she was rendered motionless.
And suddenly, Rachel was furious. She was furious as Quinn's idiot boyfriend, she was furious at God, and most of all, she was furious at herself. She had put Quinn in this position, she had forced Quinn to become open to her, and she had made Quinn so mad that she literally materialized.
"Yes," Quinn whispered. Rachel's hands clenched into fists at her side as she tried to will herself to stop crying; she didn't even know when she had started.
"Okay," Rachel said as calmly as she could, "Wait right here and I'll go get a mirror."
The brunette took a step back from Quinn and paused, meeting the blond's eyes again, and in that moment Rachel knew Quinn had the same fear as her. What if when she got back, Quinn was gone again? How long was this going to last now that Quinn had calmed down? Rachel hesitated and for the first time, she saw some of the terror leave her ghost's eyes as Quinn nodded, telling Rachel it was okay to go, that she'd be there when she got back.
That didn't stop Rachel from running as fast as she could both ways on her trip to the downstairs bathroom for the mirror.
Quinn didn't move an inch. She didn't wiggle her fingers, she didn't shuffle her feet, she didn't crane her neck to see where Rachel ran; Quinn didn't move an inch. If she moved, she might disappear again. She didn't expect that this would last forever, in fact, she could feel her strength rapidly leaving her, and she knew after everything she'd been through that day and after how much she exerted herself, she'd need to take a few days to recuperate. But even knowing that, Quinn refused to move, not even letting out a sigh of relief when Rachel came skidding back into the kitchen with a handheld mirror in her grasp.
The tiny brunette came to a halt a few inches from Quinn, her chest heaving from exertion, and Quinn saw her grip tighten on the handle. "Are you ready?" she asked softly.
Quinn's gaze bore into Rachel's, soaking up the conviction that she saw in them and letting that give Quinn the strength that she needed to nod her head in the affirmative.
"Wait," Quinn suddenly said, stopping Rachel from holding up the mirror. The blond held an unnecessary breath as she leaned down a little after noticing something. She could see her own reflection in Rachel's eyes. She could see the blue glow around her like a ring of blue fire reflected in chocolate eyes. Quinn leaned forward more until she was an inch from Rachel's face. The brunette let out a shaky breath and for a moment, Quinn couldn't see Rachel's eyes from the mist her breath let out. But once it cleared, Quinn let out a gasp. The ghost saw herself clearly; so clearly, in fact, that Quinn's eyes began to water.
It was clear that Rachel knew what the ghost was doing, and Quinn could tell that Rachel was trying to fight it, but nonetheless, fresh tears rapidly began to pool in the brunette's eyes. Quinn took a step back and nodded again, signaling Rachel to hold up there mirror.
What she'd seen in Rachel's eyes was magnified ten fold as Quinn saw her own reflection in a mirror for the first time in ten years. Quinn stared into the mirror for a few minutes as she re-memorized the lines that made up her face and the scars that made up her past. However, she could tell that she was losing strength quicker than she thought, and she saw herself start to fade.
"Quinn," Rachel breathed out in anguish as she blond became almost completely invisible again, the blue glow around her quickly dissipating as well.
"It's okay," Quinn said honestly, smiling fully at Rachel as the brunette dropped the arm holding the mirror to her side, "I got to see myself, Rachel, I got to see myself. I haven't changed, I'm still me. I feel a little more at peace now."
Quinn didn't feel as peaceful as she was trying to convey, but for some reason, she wanted Rachel to see her smile. She wanted the brunette to know what Quinn's smile looked like, so maybe instead of picturing her glaring all of the time, Rachel could picture Quinn smiling when she couldn't see her again.
As Quinn felt the last of her energy leave her, she watched Rachel's expression move from terror to agony; and when Rachel dropped the mirror and clutched at her chest, shaking her head and repeatedly whispering "no", Quinn knew that she was gone again. As the remainder of Quinn's energy left her, she tried to whisper, "It'll be okay," to Rachel before she closed her eyes and pictured her bed back home.
Rachel stood in the kitchen, alone, her eyes lifeless as she cursed the heat for flooding back into her body. She silently cursed her fingers as the numbness from the cold wore off. Quinn was gone. Quinn was gone and Rachel didn't know if she'd ever be able to come back, visible or not.
"Rachel…?" the brunette heard from behind her.
"Please," Rachel whispered, "Leave me alone."
Rachel heard silence as she imagined her daddy was taking in the scene in the kitchen. And could she blame him? The chairs were knocked over, Rachel's hair was a mess from the winds Quinn had caused, and a mirror was lying, broken, on the floor at her feet.
"Is she gone?" Leroy asked quietly, not stepping into the kitchen.
Rachel looked down at the various pieces of glass at her feet, staring into her broken reflection in the shards of glass on the floor, she sighed, "Yes, she's gone."
Quinn swam in pure darkness. Never had she used so much energy before, not even when she had been learning and pushing herself to discover and use her ghostly powers. Between panicking and following Rachel to the hospital, having to meet Rachel's fathers and do small things to prove her existence, the fight leading up to materializing, and the feelings she had been trying to cope with, Quinn had literally spent all of her energy. She didn't even know if she'd managed to make it back to her bed before everything had gone black.
Quinn tried to move her fingers or her feet, anything, and she mentally groaned in frustration as nothing moved. Was this it? Quinn couldn't open her eyes - her eyelids were too heavy - but she knew they would have widened in fear if she could have. Did she do something wrong? Or…something right? Did she pass on? Oh, God. She panicked internally. She wasn't ready to pass on. She didn't mean to show herself to Rachel, she wasn't even sure how it happened! Her best guess was her extreme anger combined with the fact that Rachel had been standing inside of her, and maybe had transferred some of her energy to Quinn, had given her the ability to actually show herself.
"Please," Quinn managed to whisper, despite her throat being unbelievably tight and her chest hurting as if she could breathe and hadn't quite gotten enough air, "I'm sorry if I made you mad, God… But please don't take me now. You could have taken me anytime before now, anytime over these past ten years, but now," Quinn paused as she coughed a few times before trying to force more words into the blackness, "you can't take me now! I have a reason to stay now. I need… I need to figure out how deep mine and Rachel's connection runs. I know you didn't bring her into my life to just rip me away from her like this…" she finished in a voice so quiet, she wasn't even sure if it even really managed to escape past her lips.
Quinn expected to see a giant beam of light shine down from the heavens, or to find herself be suddenly floating in the clouds; you know, the way she had seen Heaven portrayed in the movies. Instead, nothing happened. She was still incased in utter darkness, not even sure if she was lying on her bed, as she was engulfed in silence.
Silence. The ghost felt her chest tightening to a breaking point as she tried to roll her head to the sides to look around. How long had she been lying here, anyway? Did Rachel know where she was? Rachel… She had looked like she was in such agony as Quinn disappeared… Why? For Quinn's sake? The blond groaned as she left her head resting to the left. She couldn't have moved on, yet… She had to figure out what was going on with Rachel. All of those damn feelings that Rachel made Quinn feel… Quinn couldn't be gone yet.
"Quinn?" The lifeless blond immediately felt a sense of peace wash over her as she heard a voice whisper her name. "Quinn, I'm here for you now."
She smiled despite the huge effort it took. The angelic voice washed over her and, all of a sudden, all of her worries melted into the darkness behind her as an incredibly bright light encompassed her.