Thank you for all your kind reviews. I've really like the blue bloods series but I find I really dislike Jack/Schuyler. I was hunting for some Jack/Mimi fanfic and after reading the small amount of the J/M fics that was already on here, decided to write my own. So here's part deux.
Jack sat down heavily, stunned by the flow of words from Mimi's mouth. In all their lifetimes, she had never spoken to him like this. Yes he knew she loved him and he had counted, perhaps too strongly, on that but listening to that impassioned flow sent waves of panic through him.
"I do respect our bond." He hurried to reassure her, wondering if she was ready to leave him and strangely distressed by the idea.
Mimi laughed harshly and leant forward. "No I don't think you do. I know full well that the only reason you came to me last night was because she rejected you. You couldn't show her anger, she might reject you completely. No instead you came to me, knowing that I would always have you, always forgive you. You seem to find it so easy to reject me, because I always forgive you. Why should I forgive you now?"
Jack didn't speak; he was running the events of last night through his mind. Schuyler had told him that it was over. Angry and bitter he had sought out Mimi, convinced that it was her fault, that he was trapped by her, that his desires would always be thwarted by her. He was angry enough to kill and yet he did not, the anger he felt toward her became passion. Their melding was a dance they had repeated cycle after cycle. Even with the violence that had preceded it, their connection was beyond anything else he had experienced. She had matched him passion for passion, her needs like his. He didn't have to pretend with her, the rough nature of their lovemaking was something they both strived for and he could not experience that with another. Despite everything he told himself and everything he wished for, he could not deny his response to Azrael or the fact that he could not see life without her in it.
"I love you." He spoke quietly, staring down at the ground. "Have always loved you and I'm sorry I never showed you more affection. I need you Azrael."
"But clearly not enough to be faithful." She hung her head and turned back to the door. Panicked, Jack reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Azrael couldn't leave him, she couldn't. He relied on her, relied on her unshaken love for him. Even with his flirtations, his desires to be with Gabrielle, he had known that Azrael was there. She was the one constant in his life, the one who understood him and the one he would never have to pretend for. She couldn't leave him.
"Please Azrael… don't leave me."
"But you're ready to leave me." Mimi's voice was harsh and cold. "Do you only want me as a fallback? You want to swan off with the love of your life but keep me in the background to come back to whenever you need to vent? I know that sometimes we hate each other, but you have my respect. Clearly I don't have yours." She pulled away and reached for the door handle again.
"Don't." Jack's voice was low; impassioned as he caught hold of her wrists pulling her back. "Azrael don't do this. I'm sorry, so sorry. I just wanted…"
"Do you truly love her?" The question hung in the air, demanding an answer. Jack searched through his mind, he wanted to say that he did, he wanted to believe that he did but he knew he didn't. "No I don't." The words snarled out of him, unwilling and angry. "You were right; I only love the light she represents and what I could be. I am only a dark angel, feared and hated. Gabrielle represents everything I want to be." He placed his head in his hands. "You have your answer Azrael, do with it what you will."
Mimi's face softened, her arms reached out and encircled him. He felt the tenderness in her touch and he did not pull away, happy that she seemed to have forgiven him. Mimi pulled him close, holding him gently without saying a word. He smelt the scent of her hair and he closed his eyes, drifting away as she soothed him.
"But you have become more." Her voice was a soft buzz in his ear, her lips gently brushing his lobe as she spoke. "You've saved more than you've killed. You've built more than you've torn down. You are not just Abaddon anymore than I am only Azrael. You don't need Gabrielle to embrace the light you want. What we have done here on Earth is proof of what we can achieve. I accept what you are and I am content with my nature, anything is false and brings only pain."
Her soft words melted the hard knot of bitterness in his chest and eased him. Like death itself, Azrael could sometimes be kind. "I'm so sorry I hurt you." Breathing the words softly as he turned his head, Jack captured her lips with his and delicately kissed her.
His fingers found the torn front of her blouse and slid within, seeking the warm silk of her skin. Mimi sighed and leant her head back as Jack's lips left hers and nuzzled her neck.
"Jack." She murmured softly, shuddering as his fingers brushed against her breasts. "We need to bond soon." He stopped moving and looked up at her.
"So soon?" He asked, his green eyes bright with incipient desire and wary. "Why so soon?"
"I told you. The conclave needs us." Mimi replied softly, cursing her big mouth as Jack sat back, abandoning his gentle and to her eyes long overdue seduction of her body.
"With the Morningstar abroad, we need to be joined and operating as one." She explained, wondering briefly if had just lied to her about Schuyler. "We are weak apart."
"That's not right." Jack stood. "Why would we affirming how we feel make us stronger?"
Mimi rubbed her eyes and stood pulling her tattered blouse together as she did so. "Have you not accessed all your memories?" She raised her delicate eyebrows in concern.
"Not quite." Jack bent his head in quiet confession.
"Jack." Mimi walked forward and caught hold of his chin. "This is important. You need this knowledge. Sit down." Her voice brooked no argument and he sat on the edge of the bed.