I had writer's block! Some of you know how that is right?
Anyway my beautiful loyal reader, here's the new chapter
you've guys been waiting for.
I'm working on a new plot in my head for this story,
it came a while ago when I was skimming through my brain
I hope you guys enjoy it when I post it.
But for now enjoy this chapter.

Usual Disclaimer: RM=VA

Chapter 18
Goodbye

RPOV

The ride to the hospital was quiet. But of course that really was to be expected. What was I really going to say? 'Oh hey how's it going?'

Yeah, that's what I want to talk to them about. Besides if I knew myself, I probably know that I really didn't want to talk to anyone. In all honesty, I really didn't even want to be here. I didn't want to go to the hospital, I didn't even want to be in New York.

Did that make me an awful daughter? That I didn't want to see my mother before she died. I was too much of a coward to say that out loud and much more of a coward to even want to admit it in my own mind.

The car pulled to a stop at Presbyterian Hospital. I didn't even wait for Andrew to open the door. I just opened it and stepped out, already walking through the double doors of what seems like the end of my life. Not my mother's life.

"Hello. I'm looking for a patient."

"Patient's name please" said the old nurse. She looked about in her late 40's going into 50's. she didn't seem like any nurses I know or normally hear that are rude and bored of being in the work place.

"Janine Hathaway"

She typed in the name and I guess when it popped up is when her facial expression changed. She got a sad faraway look. Maybe because something like this must've happened to her too.

"She's on the fifth floor in room ten. In the I.C.U."

I nodded. "Thank you"

I made my way to the elevator. A warm arm wrapped around my waist, squeezing my hip softly.

"Are you up for this?" Adrian whispered in my ear.

The elevator doors opened and I stepped in, right in between him and Dimitri.

I crossed my arms and stared up at the mirrors in the elevator before I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't really have a choice"

"Just know we'll always be here for you no matter what Roza"

"I know" I whispered.

When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, all the breath I had left in me just vanished. I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to move, that I'd collapse right here…in the middle of a hospital.

That's not something I can afford to do right now. I have to be strong for my mom, and then when I get home. I could collapse.

I stepped out of the elevator, still with my arms crossed and my breathing, though not audible, was slowly coming along.

I was afraid that I wouldn't keep the promise I made to myself and pass out right here, right now.

As I got closer to her room, my head was spinning and I was getting dizzy. All of a sudden I'm weak?

When have I ever been weak?

I'm the daughter of Janine Hathaway. Most feared and prestigious lawyer in New York City. Who everyone respects, fears, and appreciates. If I get weak because of this, how can I live up to the name?

How can I show my so called father that I can be better on my own than with him, thinking he can come back whenever he wants and claim he wants to take care of me?

No. I am Rose Hathaway and I don't freak out and I sure as hell don't pass out under stress. I will always be better than that. But I felt bad thinking this. But also I know I will always be better than my mom.

I would never let anything get to me like the way things got to her when my father stepped out that door two years ago.

So when I open the door I see my mother or what's left of her anyway. She has so many tubes on her. Her eyes were closed and the machine was breathing for her.

I wanted to break down. I wanted to yell and cry and do something besides stand here and watch her wither away minute by minute.

"Are you okay Roza?"

I didn't answer. I know if I did, all my control would break and everything that made me mad would come out & I would just end up being escorted out of here. I didn't want that. But I also didn't want to stay either.

She looks so different now. Her face is pale, her skin looks like it's aged overnight. She looks so vulnerable. She looks nothing like the Janine Hathaway I know.

"I still don't understand" I whispered.

"Understand what Rose?"

"How is it that I have to suffer all of this? I don't understand what I did wrong"

"Roza" he said in that soft melodious voice of his. "you can't blame yourself for any of this. Sometimes life just has unexpected surprises for us"

"I don't like surprises" I said in a firm tone "I hate them because they always cause something to go wrong. Look at this" I said pointing to my mother while looking back at him. "this is the worst surprise life has given me. In two years, I haven't had any kind of surprise that makes me believe that anything good will come out of it. It'll always keep getting worse"

Some of that was a total lie. Adrian and Dimitri were both two surprises that I would love to have over and over again. They're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But I really couldn't think like that. I was hurting, and if I hurt them, right now I didn't care.

I needed someone else to hurt with me. I needed someone else to take away the pain that's lodged so deep inside my heart.

If Lissa was here, she would know what to do. She has an ability to heal me by just a single touch. I need some of that right now.

I don't know how long I stood there, with my arms crossed, and hearing the beep of the monitor. It was like time was being counted down until the flat line told me the reason I came here.

Three knocks interrupted the never ending spiral in my head. I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Come in"

I man in his early 30's maybe, walked in. he was reading the chart that I assumed was my mothers, he perched his glasses up from his nose with not such a reassuring look on his face.

"My name is Dr. Charles Reid. Which one of you is related to this patient?"

"That would be me" I extended my hand and he shook it.

"I'm really sorry Ms. Hathaway"

"Doctor, just please tell me what you came here for"

He nodded. "Well we're keeping her in a coma so she doesn't feel any kind of pain. We're hoping that it's helping because the tumor she has lodged deep in her brain, it could be causing her a lot of pain"

I felt bile rise up my throat. I felt like I wanted to let it all out onto the doctor's shoes. But I didn't.

I felt everything around me become different. I felt myself fading in a way that I don't think I'll be able to get out of.

I'm drowning inside my own head and there's no one to rescue me.

"So how long do I have to wait until my mother dies?"

"We were thinking that maybe," he sighed. "that maybe you'd give us the choice in taking her off her life support"

I tensed up. They wanted me to do what?

They wanted me to kill my mom all because of what?

"Is it necessary?" I ask in a shaky voice. I'm failing, and pretty soon I know I'll lose consciousness. This is all too much. He's asking me to do something I never thought in my life I would be a part of.

He softly sighed and I got the feeling that he didn't want to be asking this of me, but I'm guessing there isn't much choice. He couldn't ask Abe because after he left, my mom changed her will. If anything happens to her, I'm the only sole heir. I control everything.

I guess that also meant I control the last minutes of her life.

"In a way I deem it to be necessary. Because she isn't awake, doesn't mean that she doesn't feel the pain"

I nodded because I kind of guessed as much. I've seen some of these things explained in movies and television shows. But I never believed something like this would happen to me.

Still I couldn't really let her suffer slowly in pain without anyone knowing and not being able to help her in any way.

"Can I have a day to think about it?"

"Take whatever time you need Ms. Hathaway"

"Thank you doctor"

He nodded and stepped out. I looked back at my mother, the machines, the tubes and wires keeping her alive. The only thing keeping her alive…and now I'm being asked to basically murder her.

"Can I really do this?"

Adrian put his arms around me and squeezed lightly. "No, but you can always choose not to take her off life support and just wait it out"

"He's right Roza. You don't really have to do anything. This shouldn't be something that is left anywhere in your hands"

I shook my head. "I know. But you heard what he said. She can still feel the pain even though she's in a coma. How am I supposed to live with myself when I know that she's in excruciating pain?"

They didn't say anything because they knew I was right. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't let her be in any kind of pain, if I could prevent it from happening.

But then wouldn't that make me a killer? wouldn't that make me even more horrible than my father?

Yes. I would be worse than my father in a way, but in another, my mother wouldn't want to be this way. This is why I'm in charge now. I'm the one making decisions. Not my father.

One day I know I'm going to get over this. But for now, I know that what I'm about to do is the right thing, and no matter what I think, I knew my mom would want this. I know she would want to go out in some kind of glory. And I'm going to give it to her.

"I'm gonna do it. I have to do it. This is what she wants and I'm not going to deny her anything"

"Are you sure you want to do this Roza?"

I nodded and turned to them. "I don't think I have a choice. This is what she put me to do"

"You don't really have to make this decision right now Rose" said Adrian as he lightly squeezed my shoulder. "You have to think about it"

I shook my head. "No, I don't, this is what she wanted me to do, it's why she put me in charge. I'm the only person for this"

"You don't have to do what she wants Rose, you can just let her die in peace"

"She's going to be hurting Adrian, that's worse than pulling the plug and ending her suffering"

"Roza. You need to think this through"

"I've already made up my mind. There's nothing you can say that'll stop me"

They both looked at each other. Adrian sighed and Dimitri just shook his head.

"Okay Roza. We'll support you in anything"

"Thanks you guys"

My inner child is screaming that pretty soon, I'll lose my mother because of my own decision. But a long time ago, when I was a kid, she said I'll be in charge one day. That this is what I was meant to do. All of her was for me. That didn't change when Abe left, and it's not changing now.

I went out to the nurse's station and saw Dr. Reid filling out some paper work.

"Excuse me Dr.?"

He looked up, pushing his glasses up his nose again. "What can I do for you Ms. Hathaway?"

"I've made the decision about my mother"

"Are you sure you don't need some time in thinking about it?"

I shook my head, my arms crossed again, my fingers digging deeply into my palms, how am I not bleeding yet? Or I possibly am, but the numbness I feel deep inside is making me immune to anything.

"I want to take her off life support. I don't want her to be hurting. And when she's passed, please have her sent to the mortuary after the autopsy, where I'd like to donate whatever working organ she had left to anyone who needs it"

He nodded his head, a sad look on his face. I guess he sees this every day, I know I'd probably look like that every day if I worked this job.

"I just need you to sign some paper work and we'll get to it right away Ms. Hathaway"

"Just bring me whatever it is and I'll sign it right away"

"Ok, I'll have it brought to the room once everything is set up"

I nodded. "Thank you Doctor"

I walked back to the room and sat in the small uncomfortable couch they had in front of the window.

After an hour or so, still waiting for the papers to sign, my phone vibrated. It was a text.

Lissa.

"How's your mom Rose?"

"She's dying Liss. I just agreed to take off life support"

"Oh my god! Are you ok? Do you want me to fly over there? Just say the word and I'll be over there as soon as I can"

"No. that's ok Liss. After I finish burying her I'm heading right back to school. There's nothing left here for me anymore"

"Rose…"

"Don't argue with me Lissa. Please ok? I just want to do this in peace and move on with my life"

"Ok. I'll be here as soon as you get back. Miss you"

"Miss you"

"Who was that Rose?"

"It was Lissa. I told her to stay down there, no need for a crowd of people coming down, right after everything's done with my mom, I'm heading back to school anyway"

"Are you sure that's a good thing to do Roza?"

I nodded and looked down at the busy afternoon of New York City.

It really is true when they say that no matter what, the world doesn't stop when something's wrong with you.

I wish it would.

A knock came to the door and a nurse walked in.

"Ms. Hathaway?"

"Are those the papers I need to sign?"

She walked over to me and nodded. "Thank you" I said.

I signed my name every time I saw an X. I thought I wouldn't be able to. My hand was shaking uncontrollably each time the pen touched the paper.

I let out a sigh after I signed the last X. I handed the papers over to the nurse. And she nodded.

"In a couple of minutes the doctor will come in and shut off the machine" Then with that she left the room.

"Do you want some alone time with your mom Rose?" I looked back at those beautiful emerald eyes and I thought my heart would break more than it already was.

"No" I said. "I want you both here until I hear that flat line. Then I just want to go back home and sleep"

They both nodded and just stayed there in silence. Waiting with me.

The doctor came in a few minutes later. That sad look still on his face. I wonder what was wrong with him?

It was like everything around me passed in slow motion. The doctor walked over to my mother's machine and just shut it off. They took out all the tubes they had inside her. Just the heart monitor was left and as quickly as the heart beat came…it was gone.

And so was my mom.

How'd you guys like this chapter?
I had to listen to some pretty sad music to finish this.
But tell me if you liked it.
I definetely did.
The new plot for this story is in my head, something that just popped
out one day as I was skimming through my brain.

Tell me what you think will happen next?
And leave me the review love :P

Peace In Readers
-Kristy