Deus Ex Machina [god in the machine]
"She's hopeful."
"She's delusional."
"Well that's rude."
"Rachel, listen to yourself," Finn urged as he lounged against the bookcase in Rachel's room, his long legs crossed at the ankles on the key of C on her piano rug.
"Q has been dead for ten years and she's only choosing now to move on because she's in love with you and wants to save your ass, Berry," Puck said from his spot in Rachel's computer chair, tipping it backwards and wearing her Phantom of the Opera mask again.
"So, I'm not entitled to be mad at her for choosing to leave me?" Rachel questioned in a huff as she crossed her arms, sitting with her back against her headboard.
"Not really," Finn commented, shrugging his large shoulders, "it's kind of a serious issue, Rach, that isn't really your decision."
"Oh, you know, minus the fact that they're sort of in love with each other and Quinn's soul is like friggan attached to Rachel's, dude," Puck said as he gestured his arms in a what-the-fuck? motion in Finn's direction.
"Why am I here?" Rachel heard Santana ask from behind her, drawing her attention away from the ping-pong like conversation the boys in front of her were having. The Latina finished applying her third layer of lip-gloss as she held her arms out to the side in question. "Seriously. Like, what in the hell are you morons even going on about?"
"Yes, why is she here?" Rachel questioned as she looked from Santana to Puck in question.
Puck shrugged dismissively and said, "She's devious. If anyone can think of a loop-hole, it would be her."
Santana rolled her eyes and leaned against the doorframe. "So, Berry's been acting even more freaky than normal because she's in love with a ghost and not suddenly on drugs?"
Rachel rolled her eyes and silently cursed Puck for bringing the Cheerio over.
"Basically," Finn said.
"And this dead chick is being hunted by other dead bastards, and now they're after Rachel because they're trying to get to Quinn?" Santana deadpanned.
"Yup," Puck agreed.
"So, she's planning on exorcising herself because if she doesn't go away these other dead dudes are going to off Rachel?"
"I have no idea, Santana," Rachel bit out.
Santana nodded slowly as she appeared to be processing this information. After a moment, she snapped her purse open, threw her lip-gloss in it, and smiled at the room. "You all are loco as fuck. You had me skip school for this? I could've been getting my bread rolls on at lunch today. I suggest you check yourselves into the asylum-"
"Tried that," Puck and Finn said in unison.
"-but I'm out of here," Santana finished with a roll of her eyes as she turned to leave.
Rachel's dads had decided that it would be better for her to skip school that day so she would be in a safe environment when she heard Quinn's final decision. Finn and Puck had come over once they saw that she wasn't in first period, and hadn't left since.
Unfortunately for Rachel, they had brought Santana, who had remained uncaringly silent up until then.
As the Latina's heels clicked against the floor, Rachel lost it. Tears flooded down her cheeks as she felt everything slipping through her fingers. She was going to lose Quinn and there was nothing she could do about it.
Rachel's tears seemed to work, however, and she wasn't even doing it for blackmail that time. Santana paused with her back to Rachel and her hand on the doorknob. Through blurred vision, Rachel watched Santana's shoulders slump as she let out a sigh.
"Stop crying," Santana bit out harshly, turning to face Rachel and rolling her eyes, "Seriously, I don't like it when girls cry, even you and I'm not even sure if you count as a girl."
"Santana," Finn said warningly as he cast a sympathetic look Rachel's way.
"Look, I still think you're all crazy as shit," Santana said to Finn, then turned to Rachel, "but I'll help you. I mean, the best that I can. I know what it's like to lose someone you love," she finished with a shrug.
Rachel hesitantly smiled at the cheerleader. "I appreciate it, Santana, I do, but I don't honestly know how you can help us at this point."
"Why does this Q girl have to be the one to leave?" Santana asked curiously.
Puck dropped the legs of the chair onto the ground and fixed Santana with a look. "Watch what you suggest, S," he said with warning lacing his tone.
"I'm not suggesting anything, Puckerman, I'm asking a question," she bit back.
Rachel's brow was furrowed as her mind wandered back to the thoughts she'd been having a week ago. What if she was meant to die? "I sometimes think Quinn and I are so tied together that if one dies, so would the other. Or that she's come to collect me because I'm meant to die any day now," Rachel whispered aloud, more to herself than to the three people in the room. Her brown eyes widened as she realized what she'd just confessed.
"Oh, shit," Puck muttered.
Finn let out a deep breath as she closed his eyes and shook his head.
Santana raised an eyebrow, impressed, and said, "You'd give up your life for this girl, Berry?"
"No," Rachel clarified, "I'd give her myself and if it's my time to die then there's nothing I can do about that. But I will not commit suicide as a precaution," she said, using air quotes, "but this feels completely out of my hands. There's nothing that I can physically do to keep Quinn here if she decides leaving is the best option for everyone."
"So make her think it's not the best option," Santana said as if it should've been obvious.
"And how do I go about doing that?" Rachel questioned in frustration.
"Tell her you love her!"
"You don't!"
Finn and Puck simultaneously turned to look at each other with anger evident on their faces.
"Dude, you can't just let someone you love die for you!" Puck yelled.
"Okay dude, one? Quinn's already dead! And two, this is like her soul that we're talking about! Rachel can't force her to stay on Earth," Finn snapped in return.
Rachel tried to drown out the boy's arguing as she shook her head. Closing her eyes tightly, painfully, Rachel dropped her head. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't lose Quinn. Rachel felt like Quinn was a part of her; and if she lost her? No…she couldn't lose her. Unless-
"Berry," Rachel heard. She opened her eyes and saw Santana standing there with an expectant look on her face, saying, "Come on. Let's take a walk."
Rachel watched Santana from the corner of her eye. She watched the taller girl pull her leather jacket closed against the wind outside. She watched Santana suck in a deep breath and she watched the cold tint her tanned cheeks pink.
"I believe you," Santana said, snapping Rachel out of her thoughts, "Déjà vu, right?"
Walking along the sidewalk, Rachel absently thought back to all of the times she walked along that same route with Quinn by her side. "You do?"
"Yeah," Santana said as she reaffirmed it with a nod, "You believed me when no one else did at sectionals last year. So, I believe you now. But I don't know how to help."
"No one does," Rachel admitted sadly, "but thank you for trying to help."
They walked together in silence, ignoring the risk of being caught out of school and ignoring the cold Lima wind.
"Santana?" Rachel asked a few blocks later.
"Hmm?" she got in return.
"I know we've hardly ever spoken about anything other than insults - which is why I can't understand why you're being so nice to me now - but, I really don't think you're a bad person," Rachel finished.
"Well you're wrong," Santana said flatly as they approached the familiar park that Rachel knew so well, "I am a bad person. But I'm trying to be better."
"For Brittany?" Rachel asked softly and with a smile. It was nothing new that Santana was in love with Brittany, her best friend and the other cheerleader in the glee club.
Santana threw Rachel a quick look out of the corner of her eye before nodding and taking a seat on a swing. Quinn's swing. "Yeah, for Brittany. That jacket you're wearing-" Santana said as she nodded her head in Rachel's direction.
The brunette looked down and worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She was wearing Quinn's letterman jacket; it had made her feel closer to the blond.
"That's a Cheerio's jacket from ten years ago," Santana said smartly, pushing herself off the ground and making the swing go.
"Yes," Rachel said without hesitation.
"How did you get it?" she heard Santana ask as her swing swung higher than Rachel's, who was still at a standstill.
"It was Quinn's," Rachel explained softly, "Puck had it. His brother was Quinn's boyfriend ten years ago."
Santana's eyebrows rose dramatically as she slammed her heels down and stopped her swing to turn and face Rachel. "Holy sweet hell. So, Puck gave you the jacket?"
"Puck gave Quinn the jacket for Christmas," Rachel corrected, "then Quinn gave it to me."
Rachel watched Santana process the information. The cheerleader cocked her head to the side as if a new idea had just struck her. Wordlessly, she reached out and pushed Rachel's swing around until she could read the name on the back of the varsity jacket.
"Fabray," Santana whispered, eyes widening before she cracked up. "Oh my God."
"What?" Rachel asked as her eyebrows drew together and she turned her swing back around to face Santana.
Santana stared at Rachel in shock and with a newfound appreciation. "You landed Quinn Fabray," the Latina whispered in awe before catching Rachel's confused expression and rolling her eyes, explaining, "Rachel, Quinn Fabray is the most renown Cheerio of all time. She was like coach Sylvester's daughter and when she died-"
"Sue turned into a monster," Rachel cut in, "I know. I know the story…but, I'm surprised that you do."
Santana shrugged. "I walked in on her sobbing over the 2000 National's trophy and she ended up telling me the story. After I got over the fact that she was a dirty liar and never actually got her tear ducts removed, I managed to shed a few tears of my own. I mean, Quinn must have been a pretty special girl to make coach turn into such a bitch, you know?"
Rachel merely nodded. God, she missed Quinn. At that moment, while she was enjoying Santana's company, she wanted nothing more than to run to Quinn and beg her to stay. Beg her to just up and leave Lima with her and -
And leave Lima with her. That was it! If she could just get Quinn out of Lima then maybe…what? Maybe if the Ombra couldn't find Quinn, they'd focus on looking for her and leave Rachel alone, which would keep Quinn on Earth with Rachel! But it would keep Quinn on the run.… However, she had been avoiding them the past ten years so, why not continue? That was it!
"Santana, I think I have a solution," Rachel said in excitement.
"Good, midget, go get your girl. I'll handle the morons in your room since it's not like I have anything better to do anyway," Santana said with another eye roll.
Rachel jumped off the swing and beamed before throwing her arms around Santana's neck. "Thank you for everything, Santana!"
As Rachel was running off she heard a very audible "yuck" from behind her, followed by an "I didn't even fucking do anything."
Rachel tore up the Fabray driveway and hopped up the three porch steps in one leap. As always, Rachel went straight to the door and -
Hit it. "Ow," Rachel pouted as she absently rubbed at her nose, trying the doorknob again. Locked. "Since when do you lock your door, Quinn?" the brunette asked in frustration as she stomped her foot down.
"Quinn!" Rachel yelled over the loud wind. No response.
"Quinn!" Rachel tried again, louder that time.
"Quinn!" Nothing.
"You are well aware that I can hit a high F when necessary-"
"Stop it, Rachel!" the brunette heard shouted through the door.
"Absolutely not," Rachel stated in a huff as she pulled a face. "Open this door right this minute."
"Go away, Rachel," Quinn said through the door.
Rachel dropped her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, shaking her head. "No."
"I can't have you around when I-"
"Decide to leave me? No, I'd imagine that would make the decision a trifle bit harder," Rachel snapped as her frustration began to shine through, "Quinn, let me in, this is ridiculous. I have a solution!"
The wind whipped Rachel's hair around her face, providing the only noise that the brunette heard for the ten seconds before the door was unlocked. Rachel waited for the door to be opened for her, and when it wasn't, she opened it herself with a huff.
"Why are you being so mean?" the brunette asked as she shut the door behind her and blew her bangs out of her eyes.
"Why are you here, Rachel?" Quinn asked, suddenly appearing in front of Rachel and catching the brunette off-guard.
Rachel took a deep breath and stared up into Quinn's eyes. She couldn't help the smile that overpowered all of her other negative feelings at that moment. Yes, she was in love with a ghost. Yes, she was haunted. Yes, said ghost was thinking the best option for them both was to pass on. But Rachel could actually, finally, look into the eyes of the girl that she loved.
"What color are your eyes?" Rachel asked, quite unexpectedly to Quinn but rather on topic for the brunette. "I can't come to a decision on the color."
Quinn's gaze was hard, unwavering, as she studied Rachel's face in silence.
There were many moments over the course of their friendship that painted Rachel a picture of Quinn's love for her. Moments like their first kiss, all of the times Quinn would sneak in to Rachel's room and change the song on her iPod while she was listening to it, random incidents of slushies flying in the wrong direction and missing her completely, and the times Rachel just knew Quinn was watching over her. There were so many little moments scattered around Rachel's mind, like a plain of wildflowers that continuously blossomed and became more beautiful every day. But no instance painted a more vivid picture of Quinn's love for her than that moment right then. That moment, when her ghost's entire world was literally crumbling around her and Rachel asked what should have been considered an inappropriately timed question; one side of Quinn's mouth quirked up into a ghost of a smile and her eyes softened.
"Hazel, I guess," Quinn said, biting the side of her lip in a failed attempt to hide her smile. "Rachel," she began again.
"Wait," Rachel pleaded as she shook her head, "just wait, Quinn." Confident that Quinn wouldn't say anything more, Rachel took a step forward and tentatively pressed her hand flat against Quinn's chest, under her throat, and felt the ridges and hardness of her ghost's collarbone. "Wait," she whispered again, leaning up on her tiptoes to get a better look at Quinn's eyes.
Rachel may not have been able to tell Quinn out loud that she loved her, and she was definitely still mad at the blond for thinking she could just up and leave her, but that didn't change the fact that Rachel did love Quinn. And if she was going to lose Quinn, she wanted to be able to remember the ghost with perfect clarity. So, she studied Quinn's eyes. The way they hardened in curiosity but immediately softened when Rachel's brown eyes made contact with them. The way Rachel still partially saw through them, but could still note the way the green and hazel melted together and were then stirred by slices and flickers of gold.
Rachel's feet were just starting to get sore from standing on her tiptoes, when Quinn's arms grudgingly wrapped tightly around the brunette's waist. Quinn said nothing to Rachel, merely studying her the same way she was studying Quinn, as if she knew what Rachel was doing. Rachel watched Quinn's eyes study her own face and she knew, she knew Quinn was memorizing Rachel just like Rachel was memorizing Quinn.
"I'm going to kiss you now," Rachel stated with her lips a breath away from Quinn's, "and I want it to last because I need-"
"To remember," Quinn finished before she ducked her head and closed the gap between their lips.
Rachel groaned at the feeling of Quinn's arms around her waist and the way their bodies were flush against each other. She was so caught up in the kiss that she didn't notice Quinn pushing her against the door, hard.
The brunette's breath was ragged as she thumped her head back against the wooden door as Quinn trailed kisses down her neck, her lips parted and leaving the sensation of wetness against Rachel's throat.
Rachel's hands flew to Quinn's hair and fisted transparent blond in both hands. Part of her was focused on trying to figure out how something could feel like hair but not have the texture of hair, while the other part was busy feeling absolutely perfect with Quinn on her and everywhere and-
"I can't," Rachel panted out, desperately, as tears welled up and blurred her vision.
Quinn immediately raised her head and dropped her arms from Rachel's waist and whispered, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"
"I can't lose you, Quinn," Rachel quickly amended, fisting the girl's yellow cardigan in her small hand and crashing their lips together again.
"I never said you had me," Quinn breathed out between frenetic kisses.
Rachel pulled back half an inch and stared evenly at Quinn before shaking her head. "You've always been a part of me. This was always meant to happen, and there's no changing that now. I have some part of you, Quinn, whether you like it or not."
"But that makes it so much harder to leave you," Quinn whispered in absolute terror, breaking Rachel's heart with the hopelessness in the blond's eyes.
"Good," Rachel whispered, her breath swirling in front of her face and passing through Quinn's clouded eyes, a painful reminder of the inevitable.
"I can't," Quinn said matter-of-fact like. She sat with her Jean clad legs crossed at her calves on a kitchen chair, a see-through image of a glass hall-full of wine in her hand. Quinn winced against the sunlight that was pouring in through the kitchen window. Of course, the sun had to come out on a day where she would've preferred cloud coverage.
"What do you mean "you can't"?" Rachel asked in anger as she turned away from the window and towards Quinn, leaning back against the sink.
"I can't leave Lima, Rachel," Quinn said tiredly.
"Can't or won't?" Rachel asked.
Quinn moved only her eyes from the window to her letterman's jacket on Rachel. "Can't."
Rachel picked up her glass of V8 and made to sit down across from Quinn, doing nothing to block the sunlight because of her stature. Quinn smiled faintly at that as she took a sip of her wine and set the glass in front of her on the table, hunching her shoulders and uncrossing her legs.
"You shouldn't be drinking, you're only sixteen, Quinn," Rachel chastised half-heartedly.
"I'm twenty-six," Quinn said bitterly, "Right?"
"Why can't you leave Lima?" Rachel changed the subject.
Quinn stared steadily at Rachel before dropping her forehead and running a hand through her hair, allowing it to linger there.
She heard the hesitancy in Rachel's voice as she allowed the brunette to piece the story together herself. "Have you ever left Lima…?"
When Quinn let out a broken-down sigh and raised her gaze to the setting sun in the kitchen window, she heard Rachel softly say, "You can't leave Lima."
"It was sort of a good plan despite that," Quinn said through a tired smile.
"What happened when you tried?" Rachel asked.
Quinn's gaze was roaming over Rachel's sunken cheeks as the brunette questioned her. God, Rachel looked awful. Not in the bad way, Quinn thought as she cocked her head and gently ran her eyes over Rachel's complexion, but she looked so sick and so tired. Her cheeks were sunken, her eyes were beginning to become tinted bloodshot red, and the circles under her eyes looked like full on black eyes. The most beautiful zombie Quinn had ever seen.
When her eyes flickered back to Rachel's, the ghost saw amusement twinkling in those brown eyes and she suddenly remembered that Rachel could indeed see her. "I forgot you could actually see me," Quinn admitted, chagrined.
"Is that what you did when I couldn't see you?" Rachel asked gently, "You'd look at me like that?"
Quinn rolled her eyes non-maliciously as her lips quirked up. "I was studying you."
A blush crept up Rachel's cheeks as she brought her lips to the rim of her glass. "Answer the question, Quinn," she whispered over the rim before taking a drink.
Quinn pressed her own glass to her forehead, silently fuming at herself for letting her guard down around Rachel when she was supposed to stay strong. Damn it.
"I might as well tell you the story of what happened after the crash," she said as her eyebrows rose and her head dropped, "Might as well tell you everything."
"You don't have to-"
"I do," Quinn snapped over Rachel, closing her eyes and cocking her head. When she met Rachel's eyes again, she was met with Rachel's non-wavering, intense stare. "I do."
"Then I'm listening," Rachel said from the other side of the small table, shoulders slumped in a way Quinn had never seen on her before.
"After the crash and after I realized what had happened, I went home," Quinn said with a shrug, almost falling into a trance-like state as she remembered the details with vivid clarity, "and I waited for my parents to get home. Looking back on it now, I feel bad for not going to check on Michael, but truthfully I didn't care if he was alive or dead."
Quinn kept her eyes trained on Rachel but the brunette stayed quiet.
"I got home and for the next week I tried to get in contact with them. I thought that maybe I wasn't dead, maybe I just needed to get their attention and they'd realize I was still there. I was in shock, but who wouldn't be, really. Nothing really hit home until I went to my own funeral service, but I refused to go to the grave sight."
"Why?" Rachel whispered.
"I was afraid. I didn't want to pass on, and I was doing everything in my power to not pass on because at the time I thought I actually had control of that decision," Quinn said bitterly before shaking her head, "But I didn't. Don't. Either way, I didn't want to go to my grave, I thought I would be sucked in or something. So, for the next six months after my funeral I just focused on getting someone's attention, anyone's attention. At home or at school, anything.
"But no one heard me. My parents didn't hear me, and when my sister came back home to try and piece together what was left of the household, she didn't hear me," Quinn paused and took a sip of wine. It was odd, but she could feel her mouth running dry. That hadn't happened in a while.
"I didn't know you had a sister," Rachel softly prodded with a tiny smile.
Quinn nodded as she stared a hole through the table. "Her name is Jennifer. She's six years older than me, so she's 32 right now. Married to this perfect Christian man who owns a chain of UPS stores," Quinn said with a jaded laugh.
"You don't like her?" Rachel guessed.
"I don't know her," Quinn said with a shrug, "We were never close as kids and she went off to college when she was 18, so I was too young to really care. All I know from her is what I saw after I had died, and what I saw I didn't like. She was like a clone of my mother, the perfect daughter," Quinn said with an eye roll. After a second she continues, "I never would have lived up to that."
"Would you have even wanted to?" the brunette across from her questioned with her nose turned up in disgust.
Quinn shot her a half-hearted crooked smile as she shook her head, "No. But I would have at least liked to have the chance of disappointing my parents." The girls lapsed into silence again before Quinn barreled on, "After six months, my sister was tired of being stuck in Lima with my parent's mourning and moping around all of the time. Somehow, and I still don't get how, she convinced them that they needed to move out to California with her.
"She said it would help them heal to get away from Lima, and that it's what I would have wanted. She was always really good at being a bitch," Quinn said with a scoff. "I was terrified, of course, because I didn't want to leave Lima. I was scared that Lima was another thing anchoring me to this world and if I left, I would really leave."
Quinn looked up and could tell that Rachel was getting a sense of where she was headed with this story. She decided to cut to the chase. "Day of the big move, I sat myself down in the backseat of my parent's car and decided I was going with them no matter what. I didn't want to be left alone in Lima, you know? That thought was terrifying. I thought everything was fine until I saw the sign saying "You are now leaving Lima" and I remember putting my hands down and trying to hold onto the seat to brace myself.
"When we hit the sign, something happened. It was like I was pushed out of the car. The next thing I knew, I was standing on the right lane of the highway leaving town, watching my parents' car drive off into the distance. I screamed and cried and tried to run after them, but I hit a wall at that sign."
"It's like you're cursed," Rachel breathed out after taking a moment to process, "Did you try any other methods of leaving town?"
"I circled the entirety of the town limits and couldn't leave. I tried sneaking on planes but that one was worse since I'd just end up in the air after a certain height elevation. I can't leave Lima, Rachel," Quinn finished, "At least not any conventional ways."
"There has to be something that we're overlooking," Rachel murmured in thought.
"After ten years, don't you think I would have thought of everything?" Quinn said in frustration.
"Don't snap at me, Quinn," Rachel calmly chastised.
"Why? You're the only reason I'm stuck here," the ghost hissed, "If it weren't for you-"
"You would still be alone, haunting the halls of McKinley," Rachel finished.
"Yes, you've done what you came here to do, Rachel, you helped a ghost, now why won't you let me move on?" Quinn questioned sincerely. She didn't understand why Rachel wouldn't just let her move on. Was the girl really that selfish? It's not like she loved Quinn, so why was she keeping her there?
"Because you moving on isn't going to help anyone, Quinn!" Rachel yelled.
"It'll help me!" Quinn yelled back.
Rachel stilled. She met Quinn's intense gaze across the table and realized that she had never asked Quinn why she was leaving. She had never questioned why Quinn felt that leaving was the best option. Sure, she had half-heartedly listened to Finn and Puck's best guesses, and even wagered a few of her own but...Rachel had just been so wrapped up in herself, and in losing Quinn, that she hadn't even bothered to ask Quinn herself why.
"I apologize for yelling, Quinn. My recent actions have been solely spurred on by my emotions and feelings for you," Rachel confessed, raising her eyes from her ducked head to meet Quinn's again.
Quinn remained quiet, eerily so, as she watched Rachel.
"I never asked you why you feel like you need to leave," the brunette said, "and that was incredibly selfish on my part. I'm not sure I really wanted to hear the reason though, because it certainly can't be anything positive."
"Life can't always be planned, Rachel," Quinn stated, "and you can't just force something into your plan if it comes at you unexpectedly. You need to learn that not everything is in your control."
Rachel winced as she glowered at her ghost. "I think I learned that little lesson the day you hit me in the face with a stall door."
"I think you're learning that lesson now," Quinn corrected, "and I think it sucks. It sucks that you can't save me, Rach, and it sucks that I have to do this. Believe me when I repeat that I don't want to leave you."
"Explain this to me, Quinn," Rachel practically begged, "Please tell me your reasoning behind thinking that moving on is the best option. Why do you need to do this?"
Rachel watched Quinn's gaze soften significantly as the ghost took in an unnecessary breath. "You're dying," Quinn said flatly, lifeless, without any emotion.
Rachel was as still as a statue as she tried to not let any reaction show. Her suspicions had been confirmed. She was dying, and Quinn had come to-
"And it's my fault," the ghost said in a quiet, broken voice.
Or not. "How is it your fault?" Rachel asked.
"The Ombra, you know, the things that have been hunting me for the past ten years? Yeah, they're killing you, Rachel, to get to me. They know you're the one thing that I…care about," Quinn said evasively.
"You mean you're not an angel sent to take me away because I have a terminal illness and am slowly dying?" Rachel inquired.
Judging by Quinn's shocked expression, Rachel wagered that was a no. "All right, well that was one of my main suspicions but since that's clearly off of the table…" Rachel trailed off. She didn't know how to continue. For once, Rachel Berry didn't know what to say.
She was being killed by the things hunting Quinn. Her life was literally being drained from her and…
"You're leaving to save me," Rachel breathed out. The darkness of the kitchen finally set in on the brunette as she realized the sun had finally gone down completely.
Quinn glowed eerily in the darkness of the Fabray kitchen. Rachel thought Quinn looked like a radioactive human being, what with how she glowed but looked so solid. Like she was real. Rachel could pretend all she wanted, but at the end of the day, Quinn wasn't real.
"So, we basically have two options here," Rachel started, ignoring Quinn's eyebrow raise at the word "we", "we can let the Ombra get me and possibly finally get to you, or you try everything in your power to move on and thus leaving the Ombra with nothing to hunt. But what if they still come after me once you're gone?"
"They won't," Quinn said firmly, "They're only after me; they have no reason to so much as think about you once I'm gone."
"Quinn, this is very noble," Rachel said slowly, "but I can't ask you to do this for me."
Quinn scoffed. "One, you didn't ask. Two, why do you care so much Rachel when you can't even tell me that you love me?"
That was it. The giant elephant in the room was finally pointed out.
"Quinn-"
"Why don't you love me?" Quinn asked in a quiet breath, finally broaching the subject and completely letting her walls down around Rachel.
Rachel immediately looked up from her glass wide-eyed at Quinn. Teary hazel eyes stared back at her with horrified eyes. As much as Quinn looked like she wanted to take that question back, she made no move to.
"I never said that I did-"
Rachel was cut off by the sound of the bulbs in the light fixture above their heads shattering. Broken glass rained down as time itself seemed to slow down. Rachel watched Quinn's glass disappear from her hand as the blond jumped up so quickly that her chair knocked over. Rachel didn't know what was going on; all she knew was that the room had gotten colder than the usual chill Quinn provided. She breathed out a ragged breath that swirled in front of her face just before Quinn had her by the arm and was desperately pulling Rachel out of her chair.
"Where?" Rachel managed to choke out as the twenty small bulbs in the kitchen's main light fixture began exploding one by one.
"My room," Quinn's voice said, ringing loudly in Rachel's mind over the shattering of the glass.
They took the stairs two at a time with Quinn often using her own strength to lift Rachel up when the brunette wasn't going fast enough. The trail they were leaving behind was littered with broken glass and mirrors. The Ombra were hot on their heels and Quinn knew the only safe place was her room. She just had to get Rachel there.
The brunette's feet skidded across the wooden floor followed closely by Quinn's as they hit the top of the staircase. Quinn roughly grabbed the back of her own varsity jacket and took a flying leap into the room.
The blond quickly jumped up off Rachel and slammed, locked, and sagged against the door. The grinding sounds of glass being shattered dimmed and gave way to the soothing music coming from the record player Quinn had put in there.
Rachel pushed herself up and took deep, steadying breaths. Quinn watched Rachel's chest heave and waited for the girl to get her bearings before Quinn said anything. The sounds of the Breakfast at Tiffany's soundtrack softly blanketed the room and Quinn absently sent a prayer of thanks up for her choosing that over the One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest soundtrack album.
"Did they hear what you said?" Rachel finally asked, effectively drawing Quinn's attention back to her.
"Oh, probably," Quinn heaved out. This was great. Her enemies now knew her one plan for saving Rachel. Not only did they know it, but they jumped in to stop it.
"Why are we safe in here?" Quinn heard Rachel ask from behind her closed eyelids.
Without looking Quinn answered, "I have no idea. They won't come in here, though. So as long as you're in here, you're safe."
"What about you?" Rachel retorted, standing up to look at Quinn through the darkness of the room.
Quinn remained silent as she hit the lights. Truthfully, she didn't care about herself. There wasn't much more that could happen to her at that point. Still, she didn't think Rachel would take too kindly to hearing that.
"I'll be safe here, too. It looks like we'll have to stay in here until they leave again," Quinn stated as she crossed the room and took a seat on the chair. After Christmas, Quinn had made some efforts in making the room a little more human-friendly and a little less Quinn-shrine-like. She had gotten Rachel to help get a small TV into the room on a desk in the corner. Quinn herself had dragged in a chair so the only sitting furniture wasn't just her bed anymore.
The final touch had been Rachel's record player. Quinn had briefly considered keeping it in the kitchen but changed her mind and set it on the other side of the small desk. Quinn remembered Rachel's laugh when the ghost had told her she'd made it human-friendly.
"What if they don't leave?" Rachel asked a moment later, voicing the dreaded feeling that had been clutching ever so tightly at Quinn's heart.
She didn't have an answer for her.
An hour later found the girls in bed with the TV angled towards them. Rachel's cell phone light blinked from the nightstand next to her with an unread text from her fathers and probably Finn and Puck. Maybe even Santana. The brunette had sent a text to her dads telling them she was staying at Quinn's for the night, and to please give her this one last night with Quinn and not come get her.
Rachel still wasn't sure if she had lied to them or not. She was sure of the sinking feeling she had in the pit of her stomach that spread to ever nerve in her body, though. It felt like the end. The end of Quinn's arms around Rachel's waist like they were, the end of Rachel lying her head against Quinn's chest and not hearing or feeling a heartbeat, and the end of Quinn speaking into Rachel's mind without having to part her lips.
"I'm so scared," Rachel whispered over the quiet laughing track coming out of the television.
She felt Quinn shift positions so she was lying next to the ghost instead of on her. "Of the Ombra?"
"Them, of course, but also of the feeling in my stomach," Rachel added.
Quinn laughed lightly, "I just assumed I was the only one with that gut-wrenching feeling right now. Guess you have it too, figures."
"Do you really think this is the end?" the brunette whispered as she used two fingers to move Quinn's bangs from her eyes.
Quinn hesitated for a brief moment before nodding, "I do. Something's going to happen very soon, and it's going to end it all."
Rachel's eyes welled up with tears. This wasn't news to her, really. She had known that this moment would come. She didn't know how, but she knew that it would. No, her tears came from defeat and acceptance. This was it. She was going to lose Quinn.
"Rachel," she heard, interrupting her thoughts. She focused back on Quinn, her vision clearing up as she moved it from staring through the wall. It sometimes astounded Rachel how, through this whole living Hell, Quinn still looked radiant. Maybe it was the fact that since she was a ghost she never really took on physical impairments. Regardless, Rachel had never seen someone so beautiful. Especially since Quinn was far more discernable than Rachel had ever seen her before, even on the day that Rachel actually saw Quinn for the first time.
Rachel took in the bumps along Quinn's jaw that every teenager seemed to have, up to the small scar on the bridge of her nose and wondered if she'd maybe broken it in her lifetime, to the small circle scar that rested above Quinn's eye. It pained Rachel to notice, really notice, all of the physical characteristics on Quinn now. As if the one thing Quinn had longed for the most, to be alive, was finally being given to her just as she was about to be ripped away.
"Rachel," she heard again.
"What?"
"Don't stare at me like that," Quinn whispered sternly, causing Rachel to furrow her brow.
"And why not?"
"Because you keep looking at me like you're going to miss me," Quinn answered.
Rachel took in a breath and released it as she brought her hand up to graze Quinn's cheek with her knuckles. Her eyes wandered Quinn's face again, traversing well-known paths that she never wanted to leave.
"You know the feeling that you have now, Quinn? The feeling you have about leaving me? About us being separated?" Rachel asked.
Quinn slowly nodded her head and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.
"That's the feeling I have about you leaving. The only difference is that I'm not going to let you go, Quinn. Not until the very end when you are actually torn from my life."
"What if I asked you to?" Quinn whispered in the dark.
Rachel shook her head, her hand still lingering on Quinn's cheek, "I wouldn't want to. I never want to. I know that you warned me in the beginning to leave you alone, that this would end badly. But I couldn't because I felt something for you that I could never put into words until now."
"Rachel-"
"Don't, Quinn. Let me finish," Rachel said, "I believe that I was meant to find you that day in the bathroom. I believe that you were stuck here because you needed to wait for me. We were fated to meet each other, Quinn, and it had to be me that found you. It had to be me that heard you when no one else did. Rachel Berry, the girl who can't hear anyone over herself, had to be the one to hear you. And I did. You have helped me see that-that life isn't just about getting out of a destitute town and becoming a star. Granted, those are main points, but they're not all that there is.
"You've shown me that life is about making the most out of every second that you're given. That you need to love people and let yourself be loved. That you need to listen to people and let them help you and guide you," Rachel trailed off when she noticed that Quinn was crying. "You've shown me that I was alive, but I hadn't been living my life. You saved me Quinn. And I love you," Rachel finished.
"You saved me right back," Quinn choked out through her tears.
Rachel's lips formed a thin line as she nodded. "I know." The brunette leaned over and took Quinn's bottom lip between her own as she kissed the girl as hard as she possibly could.
Quinn allowed Rachel to gently push her down and roll onto the blond, reveling in the firmness of Quinn's actual body underneath her. As Rachel felt Quinn's hands trail up the back of her shirt, Rachel knew she was about to give Quinn everything. And if this was all she could give Quinn in return for everything the ghost had done for her? Then so be it. Rachel needed to show Quinn in every humanly way possible that she loved her. She loved her. She did. And Quinn finally understood that.
As minutes went by, the soft light from the TV emphasized the sheen of sweat that glistened across Rachel's naked chest as she arched her back against the bed. As Rachel's hands twisted in the rumpled bed sheets, she scrunched her eyes closed and tried to control her breathing.
As if she knew, Quinn was suddenly back on Rachel, kissing up her body and then the brunette's throat and lips. Quinn whispered "I love you" repeatedly as Rachel left scratch marks down Quinn's back. Well, she would have at least, if Quinn could have been marked up. She had a feeling Quinn used her powers to make the marks show, anyway.
"I love you too, Quinn," Rachel said softly and as steadily as she could make her voice with Quinn inside of her. God, she loved her ghost. Nothing outside of that room mattered to Rachel in that moment; on one of the most special nights of Rachel's life, it was just Rachel and Quinn, nothing else, and she would forever love Quinn for that.