Deus Ex Machina [god in the machine]
Author's Note: I want to personally thank each and every one of you for reading my story :) I hope you enjoyed the journey of reading it as much as I enjoyed the journey of writing it.
Rachel woke up. Admittedly, that was one of the many things that happened to her that day that she did not expect to happen. The first thing she noticed was that the room was dark, but not the kind of dark that came from the nighttime leaking in; the kind of dark that came from the sunlight staying out of the room. She groaned as she reached across the near-empty bed and fumbled for her cell phone. Thirty-six messages were gone with the push of a button - she just wanted to see the time. She could deal with the messages later. Of course she could.
Rachel rubbed her eyes and twisted her legs tighter into the scratchy fabric of the old, red wool blanket that Quinn had thrown over them sometime during the night. She paused as she felt the coarse blanket graze her bare chest, and the night flooded back to her. With a small, lingering smile, Rachel got up from the bed with the blanket wrapped around her.
Another pause. Rachel lifted up her hand and gently brushed her finger across her cheek, under her eye. She felt something small and rough underneath the pad of her index finger. Thinking that maybe she had cut herself in the insanity the day before, Rachel moved to the desk and picked up a small makeup compact from Quinn's previous life to look at the scab. She flipped the red compact open and brought the small mirror up to her face. On her cheek, under her eye, was a tiny gold star sticker that Quinn had placed on her sometime before Rachel had woken up.
Quinn. Rachel gently traced the sticker with her finger with the faintest smile on her face. She hadn't even thought that she'd ever told Quinn about how gold stars were a metaphor for herself. "I do believe I have been changed for the better," Rachel said to herself, despite herself. Lifting her gaze, Rachel searched the wall of Quinn's pictures until her eyes landed on her ghost's senior picture. The very first time Rachel had ever laid her eyes upon Quinn's face. For good.
Her bare feet padded across the floor as she made her way to the closed door across the room. God, she was tired. Rachel felt so incredibly exhausted and she assumed that her complexion would mirror that.
With her ear pressed to the door, Rachel listened for any sound of anything. Her heart told her that the reason Quinn wasn't in the room with her was not a bad one. Tentatively, the brunette opened the door and poked her head into the hallway. Everything seemed normal. No Ombra. Marvelous. With the blanket wrapped tightly around hers, Rachel quietly made her way to the downstairs of the Fabray house.
It was early in the morning and the sun had been just rising and casting blotchy shadows on the walls from the cloud coverage. This was it, Rachel thought as she made her way through the silent house, today was the day. The house that she'd come to stay in as much as her own over those past few months now seemed empty, desolate. She hardly recognized it. Truth be told, Rachel hardly recognized anything that day. It all seemed so off; everything seemed so off.
She stepped into the living room and was immediately met with Quinn's piercing gaze. Her ghost was leaning against a wall right next to a window, the blinds twisted open to allow some sunlight in. Half of her was incased in shadow, and Rachel silently marveled at how that was the first time that Quinn didn't look like she was glowing. She seemed completely corporeal. Quinn had a coffee cup in her hands and a yellow cardigan on over a pair of black jeans.
"Hey, spirit," Rachel softly whispered as she pulled the blanket tighter around her chest and stood across the room from Quinn. The light from the sun seemed to illuminate half of her as well; the opposite of what was lit on Quinn.
She watched Quinn cock her head and continue staring at her with that intense gaze. Part of Rachel feared that she had done something wrong the night before, until Quinn gave her a small smile.
"Hello, Berry," Quinn whispered back, "Want some coffee?"
Rachel eyed the phantom cup in the blond's hand and shook her head. "No thanks, yours goes right through me."
"Funny," Quinn said, that faint smile tinting her lips as she finally pushed off the wall and made her way to Rachel.
"I am very funny, as a matter of fact," the brunette responded as her eyes slowly traced over Quinn's body…over how Quinn moved towards her. Once Quinn was within reach of Rachel, the brunette opened her blanket and engulfed her ghost into the warmth, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist to keep the blanket in place.
The coffee cup disappeared from Quinn's hand as soon as Rachel opened the blanket, revealing herself to Quinn. The blond smiled softly as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck and toyed with her hair. "How are you feeling?"
Rachel nuzzled her face into Quinn's neck and closed her eyes, trying to imagine what she smelled like. Probably a hint of cherry blossom or something equally as soft. "If you're asking to test the waters to see if I regret last night, I do not. If you are just asking for the sake of asking, I'm wonderful for now. Terrified, but wonderful."
Rachel didn't open her eyes and didn't feel Quinn tense up under her touch, so she assumed that was the answer the blond wanted to hear. "Can you feel me now?" Rachel asked as she felt Quinn's fingers brush through her hair.
"Think of it like…when you have a forgotten thought on the tip of your tongue, and you can feel it and you know it but it's just not quite within your grasp. That's how I feel you."
"That's rather ironic."
"Today is the day," Quinn said as if those words hadn't been a loaded gun pressed to Rachel's temple.
Rachel pulled back from Quinn just enough to see her face. "I felt it when I woke up. There's a change in the air," Rachel admitted reluctantly, "You've already left me, haven't you?"
Quinn stilled her fingers in Rachel's hair and valiantly attempted to keep the pain from her eyes, from Rachel, as she swallowed the nonexistent lump in her throat. "You need to upstairs and get dressed, Rachel. Your fathers are here."
The look of shock and betrayal that crossed Rachel's features destroyed Quinn, but not as much as when the brunette dropped her arms from around Quinn's waist and gripped that old blanket tighter. That blanket Quinn's grandma had made for her many, many years back must have been rough against Rachel's bare frame.
"You called my fathers?" Rachel whispered.
There was a knock on the front door but neither girl jumped from surprise.
"I wanted them here," Quinn started, her gaze shooting to the side as she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying, "I know I've been around for a while but I…sometimes feel like I'm still sixteen, Rachel. You're all the closest thing that I have to family now since mine left and I didn't know what to do," Quinn finished in a whisper.
In front of her, Rachel looked as if she was tearing up against her will. "My fathers agreed to help you exorcise yourself?"
With a sigh, Quinn threw a quick glance towards the direction of the front door. "Don't act like this is betrayal, Rachel. You've known that I was going to do this, you know my reasons -"
"And I've accepted it…for the most part," Rachel said over Quinn, "even though it's killing me inside. But don't except me to not be angry with you choosing my fathers to do this. Now I have to live with the fact that my fathers are the ones who basically killed the woman that I love!" Rachel finished louder than she intended judging by the look on her face after the words left her mouth.
Quinn stared at her in shock. The woman that she loved. "You really do love me."
"Of course I do," Rachel said emphatically, "I was meant to love you. I fully believe that decision was made for me ten years ago. But I hope you understand that I can't watch you be taken away from me, not again," she finished with tears in her eyes.
Quinn fought the urge to get angry. Above all things, she needed to make sure Rachel would be okay after she was gone. In all accounts: with the Ombra, with her heart, and with her life. If Rachel needed to go upstairs and not witness Quinn leaving, then Quinn would have to accept the fact that Rachel's face would not be the last thing she was ever going to get to see in her life. After-life. After-life, Quinn. Had Rachel's cheeks always been so sunken in?
Their locked gaze was interrupted by a louder knock on the door. Quinn shakily nodded her head and whispered, "Okay." Rachel had tears streaming down her cheeks as her face crumpled and she launched herself forward and captured Quinn's lips with her own in the deepest kiss the two had ever shared.
"I love you," Rachel said unequivocally before turning and rushing back upstairs.
"I'll never really leave you," Quinn whispered to the empty room with her hand still hanging in the air where Rachel's cheek had once been. Shaking her head, Quinn set her features and made her way to open the front door.
"They won't do it," Quinn said flatly.
Hiram and Leroy exchanged a morose look before Hiram shook his head. "It's traditionally done by the Catholic church, as I'm sure you know, Quinn," Hiram began, "And they don't exactly approve of me and Leroy."
"They wouldn't take us seriously," Leroy finished in his deeper voice, "We couldn't get anyone to help us."
Quinn sat at her kitchen table in shock before dropping her head and running a shaky hand through her hair. Leroy and Hiram sat across the table from her with a glass of water in between them.
After a few moments of Quinn staring blankly at the table in front of her she raised her gaze and quietly asked, "Can you take Rachel home with you?"
Hearing that the church wouldn't help Quinn had been a shock. She thought times had changed, and she thought that when people needed help that the church would be the first spot anyone could go. She had been wrong. Well, that was fine. Quinn had an alternative plan. If the church wouldn't help her pass on, she knew someone who had been more than eager to get her to leave this world.
"She's upstairs," Quinn prompted again when neither men made a move to get up.
Hiram eyed the table in front of him and straightened his glasses before he turned and nodded to his husband. Leroy got up and as he walked by Quinn, he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and squeezed before Quinn heard his footsteps start upstairs. She smiled faintly as she remembered how terrified the man had been of her the first time Rachel had introduced them.
However, her attention was drawn back to Hiram, the man who had come to be her father more than her actual father had ever been. "Quinn, make sure that whatever you have planned is the best possible solution, because this is it." Quinn opened her mouth to interrupt but Hiram held up a gentle hand and shook his head to silence her. "Make sure this is the best possible solution, Quinn, because there will be no going back. Rachel will be here and you'll be gone."
Quinn dropped her eyes to the table and blinked back tears. Damn. Just hearing Rachel's name at that point was like swallowing acid, it burned so badly.
"I lucked out with Leroy," Hiram said as he walked until he was standing next to Quinn and facing the hallway. He set his arm on Quinn's shoulder just as Leroy had done a few seconds prior, whispering, "and I think anybody who finds love in this world is lucky, Quinn, because I don't think it happens often anymore. No matter whom it's with, I consider it lucky. I'm not trying to sway your decision, I'm just trying to look out for your heart; and Rachel's too, for that matter. You're like a daughter to me and…" Quinn let out a shaking breath as tears streamed down her face when she heard Hiram's voice crack on his own tears, "and I wish this whole damn situation could rot. But I trust you. Just know, wherever you go, that you have a home here, with the Berrys."
Quinn sucked in a breath and abruptly turned, flinging her arms around Hiram and hugging him as tightly as she could. Before she pulled away Quinn whispered into Hiram's ear, knocking his glasses askew, "Delay her."
The older man looked slightly confused but nodded nonetheless before making his way upstairs and not looking back.
Quinn sucked in a deep breath and reigned in her emotions. Rachel wouldn't make it out of that house in time to stop her, she was sure of that.
Quinn heard her. Or felt her. She couldn't tell which it was at that point and she didn't think she wanted to know, but as Quinn walked past her front door, she heard Rachel call out to her. It had happened before. If Rachel screamed loud enough, even if it was only in her mind, Quinn heard her. And God did it hurt to hear Rachel scream like that when she realized what Quinn was doing. As soon as Leroy told Rachel that no one would help their family help Quinn, and then Hiram walked in and stalled her, Rachel got it.
But Rachel was not the only presence that Quinn could feel. She could sense many things at that moment as she hit the pavement in front of her house at a run. She could sense her family in California. She could sense her mother, now fifty something, sitting at the family dining room table with a glass of scotch in her hand. She could sense her father standing in his fancy office on the tenth floor, staring down at the street hundreds of feet below with tears in his eyes. She could sense Puck sitting in his room with his brother's picture in his hands, ripping it in half. She could sense Rachel fighting against Leroy's grip as tears stream down her face. She felt Rachel the most. It almost consumed her as she ran towards the park near her house.
Rachel's park. Her park. Her grave. The park across the street from the corner that she had died on. Of course, that had to be Rachel's park. It couldn't have been any other way. Of course, there was one other presence that she felt lingering on the outskirts of her mind: the Ombra. And that's what she was running towards.
As her flats hit the sidewalk Quinn couldn't tell if she was so corporeal that she could actually hear them or if it was just in her imagination like always. She idly wondered if because the people close to her could now see her, if everyone could. God, was she even a ghost anymore?
When the cement gave way to wood chips signaling the entrance to the park, Quinn stopped just before. She sucked in deep breaths as her eyes scanned the park and she saw a couple sitting on the swings, obviously ditching school, talking amongst themselves. Quinn bit her lip and quickly weighed her options. She needed to make sure that she was still a ghost because if anyone saw what was about to happen - well, she didn't want to think about that.
Quinn blinked and shrugged her shoulders under her favorite jean jacket that she had just put on. It was cold and she didn't want to look out of place walking around in the harsh Lima winter with only a flimsy cardigan on, that was, if anyone else could really see her.
An image suddenly played in the back of her mind like a scratched vinyl; playing and glitching and then replaying over and over. An image of Rachel underneath Quinn on her bed, pulling at Quinn's shirt and Quinn using her mind to make the shirt vanish, giving Rachel the illusion of taking off the ghost's shirt. It had made Rachel smile, and it was making Quinn smile as she tried to clear her mind of all that was Rachel before she made her way over to the unsuspecting couple.
No. She couldn't focus on Rachel or memories of the night before if she was actually going to do what she needed to do. What she needed to do was see if just anyone could see her. What she needed to do was to save Rachel.
"Hey!" Quinn yelled as she neared the random couple on the swings. "Hello? Hey! Your boyfriend is an ugly idiot," Quinn called out in her best bitch voice.
The couple on the swings gave no indication that they could either see or hear Quinn. But the blond wanted to be sure and so she took it a step further by jumping up and down right in front of the couple.
"Either you're sickeningly in love and oblivious to the world or you can't see me," Quinn grumbled as she rolled her eyes. Stupid kids in love. "Screw you," Quinn spat out bitterly before she regained control of her emotions and took a deep breath.
Okay. So she couldn't be seen by most people still. That was good. Now for the grand finale. "As Rachel always says," Quinn said in a detached voice, "the show must go on."
"Let go of me right this instant or so help me-"
"Rachel," Leroy spat out as he desperately clung to his daughter's waist at the threshold of Quinn's bedroom door, "Knock it off right this second. You aren't going after her; we're going home."
Hiram sat in the wooden chair in front of the tiny desk with his head dropped between his knees. The struggle between Leroy and Rachel had been going on for ten minutes and Rachel had managed to drag the larger man across half of the bedroom before she completely lost it. Hiram had never before heard his daughter cry out with such anguish as when she realized what Quinn was doing.
"Don't you get it?" Rachel cried out, "She's going to do it herself! She's going to give herself up to the Ombra because the damned church wouldn't help us!"
"Watch it, Rachel," Leroy warned.
"No!" Rachel snapped with tears streaming down her cheeks, "I'm not going to watch it, Daddy. What if it was Dad out there?"
"Rachel-" Leroy warned.
"What if it was me?" Hiram interrupted his husband. Leroy turned his gaze to Hiram and furrowed his eyebrows. Hiram continued, "What if it was me out there going to sacrifice myself for you?"
"Hiram the girl's a ghost," Leroy urged, "she needs to move on."
"She's not just a ghost, Daddy," Rachel said, her voice cracking on her tears, "I love her, and she's never just been a ghost. She's a human being." There was a beat of silence and a deep, shuddering intake of breath from the brunette. "I love her," Rachel repeated with a whisper.
"She's a spirit, Rachel, the soul of what was once a human being. You can't fall in love with that," Leroy yelled.
"Are you saying you don't love my soul?" Hiram asked, finally raising his head, "That when you fall in love with someone you don't fall in love with their soul? The complete embodiment of them?"
"She's seventeen, Hiram, she doesn't know what love is," Leroy finished, shrugging his shoulders, "it's best that she just lets Quinn go."
Rachel gaped at her father as the other man slowly stood up from the chair. "Leroy, it takes a hell of a lot more for someone to fall in love with only someone's personality, only their voice, their quirks, and their heart. Do you know what it takes nowadays for someone to fall in love with someone and not have it involve physical contact or sex? Especially teenagers, Leroy," Hiram finished.
Hiram took off his glasses and cleaned them off on his sweater before slowly replacing them. He looked straight into the eyes of his seventeen-year-old daughter and his heart simultaneously broke and swelled at the destruction and determination he saw there. "What are you still doing here, Rachel? Go."
Leroy's grip had dropped and Rachel didn't hesitate for one second before she tore off and out of the Fabray house after Quinn. She let her feet guide her and before she knew it, Rachel was tearing through Lima to get to her park, stumbling over herself from the weakness that had seeped into her bones.
Leroy gaped down at his husband and slowly shook his head. Hiram stood his ground and crossed his arms over his chest. "If this leads to a fight, or worse, so be it. I am prepared to keep you in this room at whatever the cost. Whatever happens out there, we need to support Rachel, we cannot do to her what society has done to us our entire lives. Rachel loves that girl, Leroy, and I can tell you first hand that Quinn is not just a ghost."
Leroy glanced out Quinn's bedroom window at the ever-darkening sky and let out a heavy sigh. It was going to storm.
"I know it's been a while," Quinn said with a clear voice as she watched the clouds roll in, "but I need you now, okay? I'm coming up there. At least, I hope I am…. Regardless, I kind of need to get the hell out of here because I'm killing Rachel."
Quinn got no response from her spot in the middle of the park. She didn't expect one. As the clouds rolled in thicker she felt a twinge in her chest. Another. Quinn shook her head and glanced back up at the sky, "Is that your way of telling me that you hear me, God? Let's make a little deal. You've made me suffer after death for ten years and -" Another pang cut the ghost's rant off. If Quinn didn't know any better, she would say it was a -
"Rachel," Quinn breathed out as she felt the girl's presence. Quinn whirled around and saw Rachel standing on the curb across the street. Rachel was standing on the corner that the crash had happened on ten years ago.
"Rachel, no," Quinn gasped as another presence appeared behind the brunette. An Ombra. "Rachel!" Quinn raised her voice to a scream and began running towards the confused girl.
However, Quinn was suddenly waylaid by Puck, Finn, and that Santana girl from the Cheerios.
"Quinn I need to tell you something," Puck breathed out heavily.
"Where's Rachel?" Finn asked through a pant. The group had clearly run to the park to find Quinn but -
"How did you know I was here?" Quinn asked as her eyes desperately shot back to Rachel.
"Rachel brought me here the other day and when she wasn't at school again we figured here or your place were the best bet," Santana said with wide-eyes, "God, you are real."
"Quinn, I really need to tell you something-" Puck attempted again, but Finn silenced him.
"W-What's that thing behind Rachel?"
Quinn's eyes shot back to Rachel before she let out an anguished cry. Rachel had turned around and was backed into the street in an attempt to get away from the Ombra.
Quinn broke out into a sprint as she attempted to close the gap between herself and Rachel.
"You can't have her!" Quinn heard Rachel shout above the wind.
"You think we're here for Quinn?" the Ombra shot back. Quinn felt her body shudder at the voice. It was so detached and gravely and Quinn began to doubt if the Ombra had ever been human.
Wait. If they didn't want her, then they wanted…. "Rachel, no, get away!" Quinn screamed again as she saw confusion flash across the brunette's eyes.
"Haven't you been hunting Quinn?"
"Yes, but we know the curse that's upon her soul. She drains the life of the person she loves. The closer she became to you, the more of your life she took. It seems that Quinn is just about out of our grasp now. So, we get to take you instead, Rachel," it said.
Quinn vaguely registered Finn and Santana cry out behind her from her position in the middle of the street. She didn't even know when she'd stopped running.
Quinn watched Rachel turn around and realize that Quinn was right behind her. "What were you thinking?" Rachel asked her, her brown eyes faded and painted with pain, "You can't save me, Quinn. I was meant to save you."
Quinn shook her head and took a step towards Rachel. "You're not going to die because of me. You're not going to die so I can live, Rachel."
"I think it's too late for that, Quinn," Rachel whispered back as tears trailed down her cheeks.
Quinn's furious eyes raised and bore into the approaching Ombra as she screamed and lurched forward.
A strong pair of arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back. Shocked, Quinn began swinging her arms wildly in an attempt to beat off whoever was holding her back from Rachel.
"Quinn, you need to let this happen," Puck whispered into her ear, far too calmly for Quinn's liking.
Quinn's eyes were crazed as she whipped her head to the side and met Puck's eyes. The ghost didn't even think she was capable of forming words. In a final attempt to break free Quinn closed her eyes and tried to blink herself out of Puck's grasp, but it failed. Her ghost powers were gone.
Frantically, Quinn turned her gaze back to the scene in front of the group as Rachel stood a few feet from her, smiling softly. Her Rachel. No. Not her Rachel. No. "Breathe, Quinn," Rachel whispered before her small hand flew up to clutch at her chest.
Quinn's jaw hung open in a silent gasp and tears fell from her eyes as Rachel dropped to her knees in front of her. Quinn watched Rachel's body shake and her mouth work noiselessly as she tried to suck in air.
"Rachel…please no," Quinn breathed, the words barely making it past her lips and her voice cracking.
Rachel's chest shook with one last breath before she slumped forward onto the cold street, motionless.
Quinn's hazel eyes were wide, hysterical, as Puck released her from his grasp and she felt that pang in her chest again. Again. Again.
Quinn was acutely aware that Finn and Santana were frantically dialing someone on their cell phones and that Puck was staring intently at her. The air was cold against her skin and Quinn could see her own breath. The clouds were dark above her head and they reminded Quinn of smoke; as if Hell had just opened up and released its last, dying breath.
The Ombra was gone and the panging in her chest was her heartbeat.
And Rachel was dead.
…and Rachel was dead.
The ambulance arrived four minutes after both Finn and Santana placed the calls on their cell phones. Everything seemed to be in slow motion for Quinn, but that was to be expected, she thought.
Quinn's eyes roamed the scene in front of her slowly as she wrapped her arms around herself. Rachel's body was carried into the ambulance in a stretcher as the EMTs worked frantically on her. Finn had an arm around Santana as they both tried to hide the tears in their eyes. Puck was standing silently next to Quinn with a heavy hand on her shoulder.
An EMT asked Quinn what had happened to Rachel, and Puck interrupted her before she could blame herself. He said he thought it had been a heart attack that had struck randomly when they were ditching school, but nothing in particular happened to her. Quinn started crying again. Or maybe she never stopped.
Santana rode in the ambulance with Rachel, and Quinn figured it was more out of courtesy for her friends than for Rachel, because there was no Rachel anymore. Finn ran to the Fabray house to try to catch Rachel's dads.
A few minutes after the crowd had cleared, Puck gently moved Quinn to follow him and they took a seat on the swings.
Puck ran a hand over his mohawk and pulled his leather jacket closer to himself against the bitter wind.
"Why did you do it?" Quinn asked countless minutes later, her eyes trained on the street across from them but not seeing. Every thump of her heartbeat in her chest pushed Quinn closer to hurling.
"That's what I needed to find you for," Puck said gruffly, swiping the back of his hand across his eyes and sucking in a deep breath, "I called Michael earlier."
Quinn was silent and unmoving as she let him continue. "I told him about you. That you were back and shit, you know? He kind of laughed at that and said you never left. I didn't know what he meant by that so I told him he had better start explaining before I cracked his nuts.
"So, he goes on to tell me that he fucked around with some satanic shit in high school while you two were dating-"
"I knew that," Quinn said with a shake of her head, "I thought I could convert him into being a good Christian boy but I never thought he was really into that kind of stuff. Not seriously."
"Neither did anyone else, but he was apparently. I mean he didn't like sacrifice animals or anything but he thought it made him cool and he thought it won him football games and so he kept 'making deals with the devil', you know?"
"Get to the point, Puck," Quinn urged. All malice had left her voice. All feeling had left her. Ironic, she thought, that her soul seemed to have left her now that she was alive again. Alive again, ha. There was nothing alive about her except for her heart beating, and how it was doing that she had no idea.
"You pissed him off bad one day when you called him a Lima loser and told him he'd never make it out of this town. He did some of his stupid black magic shit and put some curse on you. He was sixteen and a fucking moron and probably sounded like an idiot chanting in his bedroom like that but shit, Quinn. I don't think he had powers or anything but something must have gotten through to someone because…"
"Because I was cursed, doomed, whatever," Quinn finished. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Quinn spoke again, more to herself than to Puck, "I wonder if I was ever really dead."
A few moments later Puck returned with, "I didn't know shit like this actually happened," his voice quiet with shock.
The sky opened up above them and, for the first time in a long time, Quinn felt the rain come down on her.
"Rachel's dead," Puck whispered against the thunder in the sky.
Quinn stared blankly ahead as the boy next to her shook slightly before openly sobbing. "What in the hell was that thing, Quinn?" Puck asked her through his tears, and for a brief moment, Quinn was reminded of the 6-year-old boy that used to try to hide his tears from her when he fell off his skateboard.
"An Ombra," Quinn said blankly, "At least that's what I've always called them."
"Do you think it was a part of whatever the fuck Michael cursed you with?"
"Nothing like that could have ever been in a sixteen year old's mind," Quinn said with a shake of her head as her wet bangs fell into her face, "They're fallen angels, I think."
"I thought angels were supposed to be the good guys," Puck said bitterly with tears still falling and blood shot eyes that he turned on Quinn.
Quinn looked back at him and held his gaze. "Why do you think they're called 'fallen'?"
"So what, the curse is broken now because you sucked enough life from Rachel for her to die and you to live? How does that happen?" Puck asked.
Quinn was quiet for a long moment as the rain soaked both of them through their jackets and to the bone. Neither seemed inclined to care and Quinn knew they were probably both thinking the same thing; Rachel's body was colder than both of theirs right then.
Quinn took a deep breath, and was still trying to get used to that again, before she plainly said, "An hour ago I believed in a God that could do anything. A God that could let me be cursed, that let me stay here instead of moving on, that gave me Rachel, and that took her away. An hour ago this solution, this broken curse, would have been a miracle to me."
"You don't believe anymore?" Puck gently prodded with dried tears on his face, "You're alive again, Quinn. You went from being a ghost to being alive and now you're choosing to not believe? If anything this whole fucking disaster has solidified my beliefs."
Quinn's gaze flickered to her hands in her lap as she tangled her fingers together. "I've been ignored by the world for ten years, Puck. I've been forced to watch the people I love give up on me and leave me when I was standing right in front of them. I was forced to deal with an annoying, loser brunette who was potentially more invisible than I was be the only person who could hear me. I fell in love with her. The one good thing that had happened to me my entire life, basically. But the funny part? The funny part is that my ex-boyfriend screwed me over more than just killing me by being an idiot. Yeah, I was one of those ghosts that they make horror movies about because I killed the woman I love. Not only that, but I had to watch her die right in front of me, for me. So, no, I do not believe anymore. I don't know what to believe in anymore."
"I held you back because-"
"Rachel was already gone, I know."
Puck took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something, anything to this woman next to him, when his cell phone went off.
Rachel had been dead for seven minutes and thirty-four seconds before they revived her with the defibrillator in the ambulance. She awoke with a gasp and a voice whispering in her ear, telling her to breathe, before she heard sobs of relief coming from none other than Santana Lopez.
They moved Rachel from the ambulance and into a room in the ICU in the Lima general hospital. It was ruled that Rachel suffered sudden cardiac arrest from a heart attack and was then revived. The doctor's were calling it a miracle. Rachel kept her mouth shut.
While Rachel didn't feel like she was dying, she felt that she probably looked it with the dozens of tubes and IV drips going into her and her heart monitor steadily beeping.
The nurses and the beeping faded to the back of her mind though as Rachel stared through the glass wall of her ICU room to her fathers, standing in the hall, crying. She had died. In front of everyone, and in front of a very alive Quinn Fabray, Rachel had died. She hadn't seen a white light, nor had she been greeted with open arms by a pair of angels. One moment she was face planting into the street and the next, she was blinking against the harsh ambulance light. Did that mean Quinn was alive? Had they somehow cheated the so-called-curse?
Oh God. Rachel was suddenly gripped with a terrifying thought: Had Quinn turned back into a ghost now that Rachel had cheated death?
Her heart rate raised a bit, but not enough to worry the nurses, and after a few more minutes, Rachel's fathers were allowed to enter the room. It wasn't protocol, but nothing about Rachel's situation was normal, so the doctor allowed it.
Hiram had tears in his eyes and Leroy was shaking so badly that he nearly slipped out of the chair next to Rachel's bed.
"I'm okay," she insisted, her voice raspy.
"They said it was a…an uhm…" Leroy tried, but failed, to continue.
"A heart attack," Hiram said, stepping in.
"It wasn't," Rachel said, "At least I don't think so. I lost my life and Quinn gained hers and there was-"
"Rachel," Hiram gently stopped her, casting a glance across Rachel to Leroy, "We don't need to know what happened. Not yet. I just have one question right now."
Rachel raised her eyes and saw Finn standing in the spot where her fathers had been a few moments before. When he caught her eye, he lifted a shaky hand and smiled at her. Rachel smiled back. Finn had been crying, hard. Santana walked up next to him and smiled at Rachel, a genuine one that Rachel had never seen Santana send her way. She had been crying, too.
"Where's Quinn?" Hiram asked quietly.
"She was alive, Dad, she was alive," the brunette said excitedly before exhaustion overpowered her again and she was forced to take deep breaths.
Leroy met Hiram's eyes and asked, shocked, "How did that happen? Rachel dies and Quinn lives again?"
"I think there was more to them meeting than any of us will ever know," Hiram mumbled, "but I think Rachel was meant to save Quinn."
"Things like this don't happen," Leroy said fervently under his breath, "It's not possible."
"How do we know what is or isn't possible in this world, honey? We're trapped behind the walls of a dead-end town in a world where people nowadays think the only magic that exists is the magic that gets a text from one phone to another," Hiram said, shaking his head, "I think anything is possible when you open your eyes to it."
Rachel silently listened to her fathers and her own heart beat before casting a brief glance upwards. Thank you, she thought, to whoever's driving up there. When she lowered her gaze and focused on the glass wall across from her bed, she saw Puck walk up to the group. He was sopping wet and Santana launched herself into his arms. He hugged her back and pressed a kiss to her forehead and Rachel watched Finn nod in her direction. Puck turned his head and met Rachel's eyes. He smiled. Rachel smiled back. And that was when Quinn walked up behind him. Rachel knew at that moment, no matter what explanation they as a group could come up with for this entire thing, that Quinn Fabray had been an angel that somehow got lost on her way to Heaven.
Quinn Fabray, with her jean jacket and hair completely soaked and sticking to her face. A nurse walked by and accidentally bumped into Quinn, turned, and apologized to her. Quinn looked awestruck. Rachel began to cry.
When Rachel's heart monitor began to beep a little more frequently than it had been, both Leroy and Hiram turned to look at the blond teenager that was standing in front of Rachel's three other friends. All three of them watched as Quinn's eyes met Rachel's with the intention of never letting them go again. Quinn pressed her hand to the glass wall and let a few tears slide down her cheeks and Rachel knew that if she could touch Quinn's face, she would feel the tears on her fingertips.
Two days later Rachel was moved into a general room for recovery and monitoring. A room that allowed non-family members to actually enter the room without risk of contamination. That was when Rachel met Quinn Fabray.
The second that visitor time was allowed that morning, Rachel's fathers woke up an exhausted Quinn that was burrowed under Leroy's jacket and lying across two waiting room chairs. She wiped the sleep from her eyes, not quite used to having to sleep, as the men ushered her into Rachel's room.
Quinn and Puck had tried their best to explain to Finn, Santana, Hiram, and Leroy what conclusion they came to. It seemed plausible, or at least, as plausible as any explanation could have been in that situation. In the end, the group decided that questioning it further seemed unnecessary since two lives were saved.
Hiram placed a kiss on Quinn's cheek before she stepped into Rachel's room and drew the curtain closed behind her.
Rachel hadn't woken up yet so Quinn pulled one of the chairs in the room up to the bed and softly grasped Rachel's hand. For a brief moment before Quinn made contact with Rachel's hand, she had a terrible flash of her hand passing right through Rachel's like it had so many times those past months. But it didn't.
Quinn gently stroked her thumb across the back of Rachel's hand and let out a shaky breath. There had been no sign of the Ombra, no flashes back to transparency, and no ghost powers to speak of. Quinn was alive, had been given her body back, and had been given Rachel back. It all seemed so easy; too easy. Yet, it hadn't been easy, not really. Not with everything Quinn had gone through by herself, and then with everything she'd gone through with Rachel. None of it had been easy, not even the falling in love part.
But as Rachel laid there peacefully on the hospital bed in front of Quinn, the color coming back to her cheeks, Quinn knew everything would be okay from then on. She had spent the past two days praying to a God that she didn't even know if she believed in, but it was all she'd ever known, and it was all she could do until she could see Rachel.
She knew not everyone had faith, and that science played a huge part in Rachel being okay, but Quinn still lifted her eyes from Rachel's face to the ceiling. "Thank you," she whispered, "I don't know if Rachel and I were stuck in some crossfire between You and Satan or what, but I feel like the good guys won. We won. We did it, and I know You helped, somehow. I'm sorry for everything I said to you," Quinn finished.
She felt a hand squeeze hers and she lowered her eyes down to see Rachel staring at her and smiling softly. "I did the same thing," Rachel said quietly. When Quinn didn't respond, Rachel gently shifted in the bed so she was facing the girl more. "We made it, Quinn."
Quinn smiled and nodded her head. "I just…don't know how to handle all of this."
Rachel took a deep breath and Quinn thought that she'd never been so grateful to see the girl's chest rise and fall in the motion of breathing. "What are you going to do with your newfound life?"
Quinn was focused on the feeling of Rachel's skin under her hand before she gave a distracted reply. "Did you know that when you Google Lima, Ohio the first thing that comes up are the obituaries?"
Rachel stared at Quinn before blinking and shaking her head in amusement, softly muttering, "Yes, I'm actually very aware of that."
Quinn threw her an uncertain look before continuing. "While you've been out cold in recovery I've been doing some research. My name is still on that list. My grave is still there. I'm still technically dead, or at least, to the people in Lima I am."
Rachel studied Quinn while she worried her chapped bottom lip between her teeth. "Then we'll have to leave Lima," Rachel said slowly, gauging Quinn's reaction.
Quinn raised her eyes from hers and Rachel's hands to those then very familiar brown eyes. "You think I can get it all back? Start over?"
Rachel nodded her head with an overt look in her eyes. "I don't see why not. Whether you go to New York with me or somewhere else, you'll be able to start over there. Why are you balking at me like that, Quinn? Do you not agree?"
Quinn moved some of her hair behind her ear and smiled wider down at Rachel. "I agree with you, Rach. I'm just in awe over the fact that you died, were practically murdered by a demon basically, and are sitting here telling me about how I'm going to be okay now."
Rachel lifted the corner of her lips in a small grin before shrugging a shoulder. "I thought it was obvious that I was okay now," she said, pausing at the confused look on Quinn's face, "You're still with me, Quinn. You're here; actually here. After months of hell, we finally made it through. We met each other at the end."
As Rachel moved over a bit on her hospital bed and Quinn gingerly crawled in next to her and wrapped her arms around her, Quinn felt her. At the end of Quinn's fingertips was Rachel's hair, Rachel's arms, Rachel.
Rachel placed a kiss on Quinn's jaw. She reached up, ran the pad of her thumb over Quinn's lips, and marveled as she felt a smile form under her touch.
The significance of what happened to them was not lost on the girls as they laid together in Rachel's hospital bed six months and thirteen days after Rachel first heard Quinn's voice. It was an unspoken agreement amongst the group that no one outside of their circle would ever hear of the story of Quinn Fabray, the ghost, and Rachel Berry, the girl that returned her life to her. Rachel willingly gave Quinn a part of herself, her soul, that day on that road, just like Quinn had unknowingly given Rachel a part of her own on that very same road ten years before the girls ever knew of each other's existence.
However, if you'd ask them now, they'd say that they always knew the other existed. It was just a matter of waiting until the world wasn't watching them before they could find each other.
"We're all ghosts here," Quinn would say with Rachel's fingers laced through her own, "but the people we wait for, the ones some people wait forever for, are the only people that meet your eyes and don't see right through you."
Fin.