Pease Porridge Hot

Pease Porridge Cold

Pease Porridge in the Pot, Nine days old.

Some like it hot,

Some like it cold,

Some like it in the pot,

Nine days old.

"What did we miss?" A breathless voice behind them asked.

"Ange? How did you get here so fast?" Brennan turned to face her.

"Hodgins brought his Lamborghini to work today." Angela smiled happily. "I tell ya, my engine is purring."

Booth chuckled as Hodgins strolled up to them. "The Lambo huh?"

Hodgins shrugged. "Toys."

"Yeah. Toys." Booth nodded.

"So? What did we miss? Who killed Peter Piper? And, did you meet Peter Pumpkin-eater yet? Please tell me he's real!"

"Well, there is a house that is strongly reminiscent of a pumpkin." Brennan noted.

"And we've already met Bo Peep, Jack Jingle, The Spratt's, Jack Horner, Bobby, and another Jack." Booth sighed. "They're crawling out of the woodwork."

Brennan looked confused. "Most of these houses are brick, Booth."

"Bo Peep? Is she hot? I always thought she'd be hot." Hodgins interjected.

"She's married to Jingle and is the sister of the fat man of Bombay." Booth drawled.

Angela rubbed her hands together in excitement. "I'm going Peter Pumpkin-eater hunting." She grinned happily. "Are you coming Bren?"

Booth and Hodgins watched them walk down the street.

"What should I do?" Hodgins said finally, looking around. "Do we know what particulates we need? I saw some interesting specimens at that garden up the road."

"That's Mary Contrary's house. You can go there later. You might want to talk to Miss Muffet. Jack Spry dropped a spider on her earlier."

Hodgins nodded. "What kind of spider?"

Booth shrugged. "Oh, and keep an eye out for Georgie Porgie. Apparently he's been seen kissing her."

"Dude, that guy always runs away when another guy shows up. If anyone finds him, it'll be Angela."

~B~

"Hey diddle diddle, the cat played the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon! The little dog laughed, to see such sport, and the dish ran away with the spoon!" Angela sang under her breath as they walked up the sidewalk.

"Cat's cannot play fiddles." Brennan announced. "They havn't the dexterity needed, or the opposable thumb required."

"Yeah, and cows can't jump over the moon either." Angela rebutted. "So what?"

"I heard a dog laugh once."

"Really?"

"Yes, it was very eerie." Brennan shivered, remembering the little grey dog.

Angela nodded. "I bet. So, you met Bo Peep? Did she have her sheep?"

Brennan looked puzzled. "She said they kept them at a farm a few miles away, that's why we couldn't talk to Jingle, he was over there feeding them."

Angela giggled. "Was she pretty?"

"Yes. So is Mary Contrary. She's got a dimple in her cheek." Brennan replied sourly.

"Ohhhh.." Angela looked at her knowingly. "And she flashed it on Booth, didn't she?"

Brennan sighed and nodded. "Although." She said thoughtfully, "He seemed much more interested in Jack Spratt's wife."

Angela raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. She was very beautiful, all pink cheeks and blonde hair. He does seem to like blondes. And she was holding a pie of some sort." Brennan lifted a strand of her own hair and studied it. "Think I should dye my hair blonde?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "I think you should bake Booth a pie."

Brennan looked surprised. "Bake him a pie." She mused. "I wonder…"

Angela gasped and grabbed Brennan's hand.. "LOOK!"

"It's the pumpkin house."

"And please god let THAT be Peter Pumkin-eater, cause he is SO hot!" Angela gushed, pushing Brennan up the walk to the porch where a golden haired man was lounging.

He smiled at them cheerfully. "Afternoon ladies!"

"Hi, I'm Angela Montenegro, I'm currently single.." Angela began, "We're investigating the death of Peter Piper, could we talk to you?"

Brennan pinched her. "What about Wendell?"

"Shhh." Angela hissed before smiling winningly at the now standing bronzed god.

"I'm Georgie Porgie. Let me just get Peter for you. Then our numbers will be even." He winked.

He walked into the house and shouted for his friend.

Brennan watched him curiously. "He's married to Mary Contrary, but Bo Peep said he had commitment issues." She whispered.

Angela sighed. "I believe it. He's got dog written all over him. But what a body!"

The door opened again and two men came out, Georgie and a thin, tall, sour looking man they supposed must be Peter.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Brennan of the Jeffersonian, working with the FBI, and this is my associate Angela Montenegro, we're looking into Peter Piper's… Pickling incident. Can we ask you some questions?"

The man sighed. "Sure, I'm Peter Pumpkin-eater. I didn't know Piper very well. Used to fool around with my wife, but I fixed that."

Brennan's eyes lit up.

"Not that way." He rolled his eyes. "I figured out how to keep her happy, and then she didn't need him anymore."

"No offence," Brennan said matter of factly, "But aren't you worried about Georgie here?"

Georgie smirked. "His wife is my sister. That's gross."

Angela nodded. "Good to know. Kissed anybody else lately?" She winked, so he wouldn't get mad at the question.

Georgie shrugged. "A few girls, nobody special."

"When was the last time you saw Peter Piper?" Brennan asked them both.

"OH, months ago. He liked to go drinking with the fat man of Bombay, especially after his fights with Miss Contrary." Peter replied. "Last time I saw him, he was stumbling into his house, about midnight. I feed my pumpkins at midnight."

Georgie sighed. "Mary would drive anyone to drink, she's so contrary about everything, except Wee Willie. Last time I saw Piper he was in the bar with the Gin man. Must have been before you saw him." He said to Peter.

Angela nudged Brennan. "Wee Willie?"

"He runs down the street every night at eight in his nightgown, and apparently he's not 'Wee' at all, Mary says he's actually quite impressive."

Angela's eyes widened and she checked her watch. "I wonder…"

Brennan nodded. "Me too."

The men stared at them both. "Are we done yet?"

Brennan nodded. "For now. Thank you for your time."

Booth looked up from his conversation with a small child, hearing his partners voice coming towards him.

"Bones, Ange. Any luck with Peter Pumpkin-eater?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"He's married, and I can see why he had trouble keeping his wife too, sour about everything except his pumpkins." Angela replied. "Georgie was HOT though."

"Oh, you found him too?" Booth looked at Brennan curiously.

She flushed. "Yes."

"And?" He probed.

Angela grinned. "She punched him in the nose."

The child laughed with delight. "Georgie got punched by a GIRL!"

Angela shook her finger at him. "Girls can punch too."

"Yeah, but they usually don't punch Georgie!" The boy giggled.

"Who are you?" Brennan asked.

"I'm Boy Blue. My parents weren't very original. I've got a sister named Girl." The boy shrugged. "I've got to go now. Super Friends is on." He waved, then took off down the street.

Angela stared after him, then burst into laughter. "Little Boy Blue… Come blow your horn.."

"He didn't have a horn?" Brennan looked at her friend blankly.

Booth sighed. "So, I'm assuming Georgie kissed you?" He fingered his gun gently.

"No." Angela grinned. "He kissed me. And THEN he tried to kiss her… And his lips met her fist instead."

Brennan inspected her knuckles. "I don't like seconds, or golden haired men. Did you learn anything from Boy Blue?"

"Piper returned home about midnight, alone." Booth replied, thankfull his own hair was dark.

"Yes, that's what Peter Pumpkin-eater said too."

Booth rubbed his hands together. "Now we're getting somewhere. Let's go find Hodgins, and then give ourselves a tour of Piper's house."

"Where is Hodgie?" Angela looked around.

"Discussing spiders with Miss Muffet."

~B~

"But they're creepy!"

"The only ones you should be afraid of are the ones with bright colours on them." Hodgins voice carried over the yard. "Except for Tarantula's, which are brown, and Black widow's, which are black. And maybe.."

"Hodgie, I don't think you're helping." Angela remarked as she climbed the stairs to Miss Muffet's porch, where the dark haired girl lounged on a glider across from the entomologist, who was clearly loving the discussion more than his host.

"Hey Ange!"

"We're need you over at Piper's place." She said sweetly, before turning to Miss Muffet. "Hodgie just loves spiders. He's got a collection of them at home, and a pet tarantula he sometimes carries around on his collar, named Sugar, and it can really jump!"

Miss Muffet jumped up and darted to her door. "I think I've got something in the oven. Good Bye!"

Hodgins shook his head. "That wasn't nice Ange."

She looked innocent. "Why? I thought she should know, I thought she might like to see it one day, to help her get over her arachnophobia."

Hodgins nodded and rolled his eyes. "Sure Ange. So which house is Peter Piper's?"

Angela pointed to a house next to Peter Pumpkin-eater's, a green house, with a silver car parked in the driveway.

"It looks maintained." Hodgins commented as they walked up to where Booth and Brennan stood waiting for them.

Booth sighed. "He paid a year in advance for his gardening crew. They've kept it up. Probably ruined any chance of getting evidence from outside."

"Well, then, let's go in." Brennan announced logically, unlocking the door with the spare key she'd found under a potted plant.

"A riddle, a riddle, as I suppose, A hundred eyes and never a nose!" Hodgins murmured as they filed into the house.

"Oh, a sieve." Brennan replied, to the astonishment of Booth and Angela.

Hodgins grinned. "Good one Doctor B!"

"Well, what else could it be?" Brennan shrugged. "Look, there's a strange poster on the wall. It's a pie, with birds flying out of it, titled 'Song of Sixpence'."

"I loved that one." Booth smiled. "Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty blackbirds, baked in a pie. When the pie was opened, the birds began to sing.. Wasn't that a pretty dish to set before the king?" He voice rang out in a deep tone.

Angela was delighted. "Booth, you can read me bedtime stories, anytime!" She teased.

Booth winked, and continued. "The king was in his counting house, counting all his money, the Queen was in the parlour, eating bread and honey, the maid was in the garden, hanging up the clothes, when down came a black bird and pecked off her nose..."

Brennan looked horrified. "No wonder Parker wasn't afraid of a finger, if that's what you read him every night!"

He burst out laughing. "It's meant for children Bones!"

Hodgins called out from the living room. "Hey, come look at this!" He held it up for them to see. "A wallet!"

"So he didn't leave the house willingly." Brennan mused.

"Or he was still drunk and forgot it." Angela replied, looking out the window. "Does anyone else see a hog with a saddle on it running down the street?"

They crowded around the window.

"Huh." Booth shook his head. Then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye, in the kitchen. He wandered in, and stood staring at the pot on the counter.

Carefully, he picked up the lid.

A putrid stench filled the room.

"Eww." Angela groaned. "What is that smell?"

"I think.." Booth stared down into the pot dubiously. "I think it used to be porridge."

"Pease Porridge?" Hodgins asked, smiling.

"Far more than nine days old." Booth grimaced, and put the lid back on.

"So was he making breakfast then?" Brennan quizzed.

"Or a midnight snack." Hodgins shrugged. "I eat oatmeal at midnight if I'm wasted drunk, it's really easy to vomit."

"Thank's for sharing." Angela said sarcastically.

"How about we split up and search the house." Booth suggested. "Hodgins and Angela on the main floor, Me and Bones upstairs."

Angela waggled her eyebrows at Brennan. "Don't forget to test out the bed Sweetie."

High diddle doubt, my candle's out

My little maid is not at home;

Saddle my hog and bridle my dog,

And fetch my little maid home.