Chapter two
No! You'll never be alone!
When darkness comes,
I'll light the night with stars,
Hear my whispers in the dark!
She curled herself up as small as she could, cold water from the shower helping to soothe the painful bruises that were beginning to develop all over her body. She touched a hand to her neck, where there were marks from where Warren had choked her until she thought she would pass out, and shuddered as she relived the moment.
She coughed and spluttered as her husband, kneeling on her stomach to pin her to the floor, wrapped his hands around her neck and applied just enough pressure for her to find that she was unable to breathe.
"Please!" She tried to say, but the only sound that left her lips was a horribly choked and rasping noise. Warren just laughed, a cruel smile lingering on his lips.
"But yer wish you hadn't left your mobile here today now, don't yer?" Kirsty had taken Nita shopping earlier in the day, and had accidentally left her mobile at home, lying on her bedside table. It hadn't even been switched on at the time.
After dropping her daughter off at a friend's house where she was to spend the night, Kirsty returned home to find that her furious husband had turned her phone on and had been looking through all the text messages she couldn't bring herself to delete. Most were from a worried Adam, telling her that he was always there for her, if she needed anything. This, of course, drove Warren into one of his rages, which had ultimately ended in his nearly strangling his wife to death.
Everything was starting to go black, light was dissolving into darkness, and she had long ago gone limp, having no energy to struggle anymore. But just as she was about to pass out, he released his hold on her, and shuffled from the room, leaving his choking and spluttering wife on the bedroom floor.
Only when she unable to control her shivering, brought on by the cold temperature of the water, did Kirsty force herself to stand and get out of the shower. She very gingerly wrapped a towel around her brutalised form, wincing despite her attempts to be careful around the injured areas of her body. She ached, everywhere, and a few tears dribbled down her cheeks, now washed clean of the dried blood that had dramatically contrasted with her ashen skin.
He punched her, again. She felt blood spurt from her nose, and quickly closed her mouth to avoid blood getting into her mouth. But then, after a particularly hard blow to her stomach, she gasped, and immediately the sickening and coppery taste of the crimson liquid engulfed her taste buds.
Kirsty sniffed, and began to get dressed into a loose t-shirt and a pair of grey joggers. She tried to avoid looking at the marks, but it was no easy feat considering that they covered the majority of her body. She turned to look in the mirror, and bit her lip as she saw the very noticeable bruises on one side of her face, one of them already starting to turn a nasty bluish-purple colour around the edges. Fresh tear tracks stood out on both sides of her face, and she couldn't help but think that she would be the perfect poster child for a domestic violence campaign.
After taking a big, gulping breath to steady herself, Kirsty turned her thoughts to work. She could either call in sick and be forced to spend even more time with her violent husband, or go into work with the possibility of having her secret exposed.
She inspected the bruises closely. Maybe I can cover them with make up. She thought to herself. She had acquired a stock of cover up and concealer after she realised that she couldn't rely on her unpredictable husband to not leave marks on her skin in places where others could see them. Sighing, Kirsty hoped with all her might that make up would cover it, because nothing could make her stay at home all day with a man who enjoyed using her as his personal punching bag.
"You're up early." Kirsty looked up from where she was making herself a mug of coffee. Warren limped into the kitchen, and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. She flinched. "What's the matter?" He asked, seemingly undecided on whether to look angry or not.
"Sorry." She mumbled, letting him kiss her again. His eyes lingered on the bruises along the side of her face for a moment- she hadn't yet covered them up, and they looked a lot worse then they had yesterday. For a moment, she thought she'd seen a trace of guilt in his pale eyes, but she quickly dismissed it. If he did feel guilty about beating her, then why did he continue to do it?
"You going into work today?" She pretended to take a sip of coffee, if only to buy her some time before she answered. In actual fact, the drink was boiling hot and would have burned her tongue had she really taken a mouthful.
"Yeah. One of the other nurses is on holiday at the moment, so they'll already be short staffed today." She thought about Mads celebrating her brother's wedding back in Pakistan, and for a split second she wished they could change places. No! She berated herself. Why should Mads have to go through all this? She's a good person.
What crime could a person commit to deserve so much abuse? Sometimes Kirsty would find herself pondering that very thought, and for hours at a time too.
What thoughts did Warren use to justify the way he treated her? His suspicions of Kirsty having an affair? Her reluctance to believe that he was actually ill, and not just pretending?
Whatever it was, it appeared to be doing the trick. As he settled down with a glass of water and some medication to control his pain -medication that, at that point, would have helped his wife more than him-, his eyes did not betray him feeling any emotion such as guilt or remorse, but merely contentedness and satisfaction.
Just an hour into her shift, and Kirsty was already feeling drained. It was hard enough keeping up with all the requirements that came from working in an ED, but also trying to compromise the way she went about doing her duties to the injuries she'd sustained without anybody noticing was proving to be a very difficult task.
She and Zoe were attempting to calm down a rather aggressive (and very drunk) man in his thirties when he began fiddling with the IV in the back of his hand, twisting the cannula and trying to pull it out.
"Mr. Henderson, you need to keep that in!" Zoe chided their intoxicated patient.
"No!" He shouted, swinging an arm out at Kirsty, who had been trying without great success to take a blood sample. Luckily, she managed to catch him by the wrist before he struck her, but it was at that moment that the cannula in his hand became loose and splattered both Kirsty and her pale blue scrubs in crimson blood. Not a great look.
She looked up at Doctor Hanna, who was obviously trying very hard not to burst out laughing.
"Well, at least someone finds this amusing." She said begrudgingly, a reluctant smile trailing over her lips. Zoe shook her head, grinning back at Kirsty.
"No one can ever say that working in A&E is boring." She laughed. "Go on, go get cleaned up. I'll take it from here." The blood spattered nurse nodded gratefully. She could do with a break; it hadn't exactly been the calmest of shifts.
After making sure that the staff toilets were empty, Kirsty slipped in and adorned a fresh pair of clean scrubs, and splashed some water on her face to wash her patient's blood off. As anyone would have expected, her make up had also been wiped off, so she searched through her bag for the cover up she was sure she'd picked up that morning. Or had she?
"Oh, no..." She groaned as the realisation hit her like a tonne of bricks. She had been about to put the cosmetic items inside her bag when the doorbell rang; the postman wanting her to sign for a package. She'd taken the handbag with her to the door, but not the make up.
So she'd left them on the side of the bathtub.
A growing sense of panic welled up inside Kirsty's body as she looked back up at the mirror hanging above the sink. There was no way she'd be able to pass this off as an accident, the result of clumsiness if a fall. Grabbing the bloodied pair of scrubs and slinging the bag over her shoulder, she placed a still slightly damp hand over the bruised side of her face, covering the majority of the marks. This included a particularly nasty looking one around her left eye that made it obvious she'd been punched. She was beginning to feel extremely glad that Adam wasn't in today. She didn't particularly fancy running to him for advice.
Praying that nobody would see her leaving- or the uncovered bruises on her neck for that matter, Kirsty slid from the toilets, casting a quick glance around her.
"Kirsty?" Oh God. Jay. Why didn't you check before you left the bathroom? The male nurse smiled at her as he sauntered over to where she was standing, but his usually relaxed expression turned to one of confusion as he took in his friend's appearance. "Hey, what's the matter?" He tried to prise Kirsty's hand from her face, but she resisted, instead seizing him by the wrist and pulling him along the corridor and through a pair of double doors to the empty stairwell.
"Jay, I need a massive favour." She began, hand still resolutely shielding her battered and beaten face.
"Kirsty, what's going on here?"
"Your shift ends soon, right?"
"Yeah, in about five minutes, but-"
"I need make up." She blurted out. Jay did a double take.
"Make up? Kirsty... What're you hiding? C'mon, you can tell me!" Kirsty sighed. It looked as though she'd either have to fabricate an excuse in the next ten seconds, or just tell him the truth.
"Promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Kirsty, what-"
"Promise me!" Her voice was beginning to take on a tone of sheer panic.
"Okay! Okay, I promise!" Taking a deep breath, she pulled her hand away from her face. Jay's eyes widened in shock as he took in the bruises. They were all deep blue and purple in colour, and thoroughly unpleasant looking. He stretched out a finger, and very gently ran it down the length of the one that framed her left eye. Kirsty flinched at his touch, no matter how gentle he tried to be.
"Kirst, who did this to you?" She shook her head, knowing she wasn't quite ready to give him all the information yet,
"Please don't ask me any questions." She begged, as he continued to stare at her in disbelief. "Look, I need you to get me something to hide all this." She got straight to the point, indicating the bruises with a wave of her hand.
"Oh, Kirsty..." He put his hands on her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes, Biting her lip, Kirsty steeled herself. Don't you cry, don't you dare cry... She thought the same words over and over again, hoping with all her might that the more she repeated it in her head, the more likely she was to keep control of herself.
Naturally, the elements of her wishful thinking crumbled and dissolved the moment she looked up into his warm and comforting eyes, full to the brink with concern and solicitude. Jay pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back in small circles and allowing her to sob into his scrub top.
"Shh..." He soothed. "Hey, it's okay... I'll go get you that make up, yeah? And I'll come straight back afterwards. Maybe once your shift's finished we can go grab some coffee and have a chat, hm? You look like you could use a drink." She nodded tearfully.
"Thank you, Jay..." Kirsty's voice wobbled as she spoke.
If she was completely honest, talking was the last thing she felt like doing. But seeing as Jay was doing her such a big favour, it would hardly be fair on him if she refused.
Besides, it might do her some good to talk to someone other than Adam.
Jay was confused. Ever since she'd come to work at the hospital, Kirsty had been a beacon of life and light- Compassion, kindness, and a good sense of humour being just a few of her many virtues. She'd even remained strong during the time that it seemed her husband was going to die. Four months after that and Jay could still picture her sitting in rhesus with an expression fixed with resoluteness on her face, as though using all the energy she could be wasting through crying and channelling it into her husband's healing body.
Although Jay didn't know Warren that well, he'd seemed like a decent man. Surely he hadn't been the one to hurt her so badly?
Then again, Jay thought to himself. Looks can be deceiving.
After dropping off a whole carrier bag of assorted cosmetic products -he hadn't been sure which skin tones was closest to Kirsty's- to his extremely grateful friend, Jay stopped by the psychiatric ward. He was greeted by Charlie, his demeanour as friendly as always.
"It's good to see you, Jay. Are you looking for Ruth?" He shook his head and cleared his throat, already feeling guilty for what he was about to do.
"No, not today. Actually Charlie, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?" The older nurse nodded, and after casting a glance around them he showed Jay into his office, told him to take a seat and shut the door behind them.
"Here you go." Jay set a pint of ice cold beer down on the bar in front of Kirsty, who tried to force a smile.
"Thanks." She looked around the pub. It wasn't the bar where the Emergency Department staff would normally head to after work for a couple of drinks, but Jay didn't think that Kirsty would want to talk about a personal matter if any of their colleagues were around. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything. He watched his fellow nurse raise the pint glass to her lips, before setting it down again before even taking a sip.
"Were you alright after you covered those up again?" He said, nodding towards the bruising.
"Yeah. Well, apart from Tess chewing me out after I finally left the women's toilets I mean." She tried to smile again, this time a better attempt gracing her lips. "Listen, thanks again for doing that... I don't know what I'd have done without you." Jay returned her smile.
"Anytime. And I really mean that, okay? If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you." Her expression faltered slightly.
"You sound like Adam." She sighed, immediately looking as though she regretted saying the words the moment they left her mouth.
"What? You mean he knows?" She bit her lip nervously.
"Well... Kind of. He doesn't know it's still happening though... Although he's trying to get me to admit it is." Jay swallowed a mouthful of alcohol.
"So it's been goin' on a while then?" She shrugged.
"Mmm... You won't tell him you know, will you?" Her voice suddenly became fearful.
"Not if you don't want me to. But you know, he'll help you." She shook her head, and the next few minutes were spent in silence.
"It's your husband, isn't it?" Her head snapped up from where she had been staring at her drink, and she looked alarmed.
"What?"
"The one who's been beating you up. It's your husband, right?" Shaking her head again, she looked away again. She had gone pale, and for a fleeting moment Jay thought she was going to throw up.
"No! Listen, I've gotta go..." She pulled a couple of notes from her purse, and pressed them into Jay's resisting hand. "Thank you, Jay. See you tomorrow, yeah?"
He thought about grabbing her wrist and telling her to stay, that if she wanted she could stay at his for the night then she was welcome to.
But he didn't. He watched her leave, his fingers curling over the notes in his hand until they were crumpled in his tightened fist.
How do you save someone who doesn't want saving?
No! You'll never be alone!
When darkness comes,
You know I'm never far,
Hear my whispers in the dark!
A/N: Well, we've progressed a little bit (: Plus I've posted this chapter a little earlier then I was going to, but try not to get used to regular updating. I will try and stick to a deadline though.
In the next chapter, I'm hoping that (while the overall chapter might not be longer than the previous two) it will have more content in it.
But anyway... Ooh, Jay knows ;D I really hope the way he found out wasn't too crappy... I was trying to think of ways in which he could find out, and this one seemed... Feasible.
I've read a couple of other fics on here where Jay is one of the first people to find out, and I wasn't trying to copy (: I actually rolled a dice to figure out who it would be who found out first. 'Cept Adam, obviously.
Anyway, if you'd like me to update, leave me a review :D Which a lot of you did for chapter two, so thank you all for that :D
Ta for reading!
Random question of the chapter: If your favourite character (don't forget to say who it is) was leaving the show, how would you want them to go?