Chapter One: I Haven't Ever Really...
"I don't know what you're talking about Sharon." I told one of my best friends.
"You do. I know Brian told you about the letters."
"It's not like really important, really. I've talked to Jordan and--"
"And ... what?"
"I really like him, and if he like went through all the trouble ... it was for something." I admitted, playing with my fading red hair. I wanted to change at the color because it reminded me so much of Rayanne, but at the same time, it reminded me of the first time I kissed Jordan.
"But he lied to you Angela. He could do it again." Sharon argued, trying to protect me.
"Are you like serious?" I shook my head. "Jordan Catalano cares about me. He only like lied because he had to." I responded, applying some new lipstick. "I mean, it's not like he'll like ... do it again." I answered angrily. Everyone was always telling me that he was bad for me and that he wouldn't change, but I wanted him to so bad, and I seriously believed that he could.
"Angela." I ignored Sharon, upset that she had completely ruined my entire day. "Fine, you're mad at me. But..." Her tone began to change. "I have the juiciest news!" She began describing how much fun she had at some party last night, the party that Jordan Catalano was probably at. Sharon described every disgusting detail of how she made out with some random guy. She sounded like so excited like he was the one or something. I couldn't like help but think what Jordan Catalano was probably doing at the party ... if he like stayed or thought about me ...
"But, aren't you like seeing Kyle?" I interrupted, snapping out of fantasy land.
"Unofficially." Sharon responded, continuing her story about how much they had in common and how funny he was ...
Unofficially. What was that? And did like Jordan Catalano think that we were like unofficial or something? I didn't even like know where we stood. How pathetic was that? It like a new school year and I didn't like know what was like going on with him. I wasn't even sure if I like fully forgave him. I just like ... really wanted things to be like they were before Rayanne. But like ... since I was like forgiving Jordan screwing up, did I have to like forgive her too? Rayanne ...I didn't know if I could. She was like supposed to be my best friend.
"Angela!" Brian Krakow called after me. Those words ... from those letters had made things odd. Did he like really feel that way? "Angela!" He called again as I completely ignored him, trying to lose him in the crowd. But he found me.
"What?" I asked, annoyed.
"Umm ... I like have your--" I cut him off.
"Are you like stalking me now or something?"
"No. I have your book." Brain Krakow handed me a Chemistry book. I didn't say anything, feeling a little bad for like being mean to him. I like almost felt bad for yelling at him. "You can't just like pop up like that." I explained to him.
"I didn't like mean to. I mean like ... I thought you'd need it or something." He responded, avoiding my gaze as I was avoiding his.
"How did you like get it anyway Brian?" I looked past him to see Jordan Catalano, the person that I had like been waiting to see. The one person that I like hadn't seen much of over the summer. A small smile crept over my mouth. "I have to like ... go." I brushed past Brian Krakow towards Jordan. Feeling bold, I wrapped my hands around his eyes. I had like seen it in a movie and wanted to know what it like felt like.
"What the..." Jordan began, confused.
"It's me." I whispered, letting go and like feeling really stupid.
"Oh. What do you want?" Jordan Catalano snapped, seeming less-than-thrilled to see me.
"I just like wanted to see you. I haven't like seen you in a while and like ..." My voice trailed off as I like wished I could disappear.
"Yeah, well, you're looking at me now." I felt like I was like a fly at that moment. A fly that like Jordan Catalano wanted to get rid of. I was like annoying him.
"That's not what I meant." I answered, almost asking him if we could like start over. "I'm sorry if I'm like burdening you by like being here. I thought you'd want to ... like--"
"Like what?" Jordan wondered, staring deeply into my eyes and seeming ... sincere. It was like amazing how his moods like changed so much. Like the wind. I almost scared me how he looked at me like I was somebody. Like I was like important to him.
"Nothing." I whispered, chickening out. I couldn't like just say that I like ... really liked him ... maybe even loved him, not without like hearing it from him first. Jordan leaned in closely to me, staring me down as I like acted on impulse and kissed him. It was magical. It was like I was like apart of him and it was just us, for that one moment. When I opened my eyes, he was like walking down the hallway and I was left all alone with my scarf, to like play with.
(A/N: How's it going? Love it, hate it, let me know. Any kind of comments will help. So if you read it, review it so I know someone's reading. Thanks! NL)
"I don't know what you're talking about Sharon." I told one of my best friends.
"You do. I know Brian told you about the letters."
"It's not like really important, really. I've talked to Jordan and--"
"And ... what?"
"I really like him, and if he like went through all the trouble ... it was for something." I admitted, playing with my fading red hair. I wanted to change at the color because it reminded me so much of Rayanne, but at the same time, it reminded me of the first time I kissed Jordan.
"But he lied to you Angela. He could do it again." Sharon argued, trying to protect me.
"Are you like serious?" I shook my head. "Jordan Catalano cares about me. He only like lied because he had to." I responded, applying some new lipstick. "I mean, it's not like he'll like ... do it again." I answered angrily. Everyone was always telling me that he was bad for me and that he wouldn't change, but I wanted him to so bad, and I seriously believed that he could.
"Angela." I ignored Sharon, upset that she had completely ruined my entire day. "Fine, you're mad at me. But..." Her tone began to change. "I have the juiciest news!" She began describing how much fun she had at some party last night, the party that Jordan Catalano was probably at. Sharon described every disgusting detail of how she made out with some random guy. She sounded like so excited like he was the one or something. I couldn't like help but think what Jordan Catalano was probably doing at the party ... if he like stayed or thought about me ...
"But, aren't you like seeing Kyle?" I interrupted, snapping out of fantasy land.
"Unofficially." Sharon responded, continuing her story about how much they had in common and how funny he was ...
Unofficially. What was that? And did like Jordan Catalano think that we were like unofficial or something? I didn't even like know where we stood. How pathetic was that? It like a new school year and I didn't like know what was like going on with him. I wasn't even sure if I like fully forgave him. I just like ... really wanted things to be like they were before Rayanne. But like ... since I was like forgiving Jordan screwing up, did I have to like forgive her too? Rayanne ...I didn't know if I could. She was like supposed to be my best friend.
"Angela!" Brian Krakow called after me. Those words ... from those letters had made things odd. Did he like really feel that way? "Angela!" He called again as I completely ignored him, trying to lose him in the crowd. But he found me.
"What?" I asked, annoyed.
"Umm ... I like have your--" I cut him off.
"Are you like stalking me now or something?"
"No. I have your book." Brain Krakow handed me a Chemistry book. I didn't say anything, feeling a little bad for like being mean to him. I like almost felt bad for yelling at him. "You can't just like pop up like that." I explained to him.
"I didn't like mean to. I mean like ... I thought you'd need it or something." He responded, avoiding my gaze as I was avoiding his.
"How did you like get it anyway Brian?" I looked past him to see Jordan Catalano, the person that I had like been waiting to see. The one person that I like hadn't seen much of over the summer. A small smile crept over my mouth. "I have to like ... go." I brushed past Brian Krakow towards Jordan. Feeling bold, I wrapped my hands around his eyes. I had like seen it in a movie and wanted to know what it like felt like.
"What the..." Jordan began, confused.
"It's me." I whispered, letting go and like feeling really stupid.
"Oh. What do you want?" Jordan Catalano snapped, seeming less-than-thrilled to see me.
"I just like wanted to see you. I haven't like seen you in a while and like ..." My voice trailed off as I like wished I could disappear.
"Yeah, well, you're looking at me now." I felt like I was like a fly at that moment. A fly that like Jordan Catalano wanted to get rid of. I was like annoying him.
"That's not what I meant." I answered, almost asking him if we could like start over. "I'm sorry if I'm like burdening you by like being here. I thought you'd want to ... like--"
"Like what?" Jordan wondered, staring deeply into my eyes and seeming ... sincere. It was like amazing how his moods like changed so much. Like the wind. I almost scared me how he looked at me like I was somebody. Like I was like important to him.
"Nothing." I whispered, chickening out. I couldn't like just say that I like ... really liked him ... maybe even loved him, not without like hearing it from him first. Jordan leaned in closely to me, staring me down as I like acted on impulse and kissed him. It was magical. It was like I was like apart of him and it was just us, for that one moment. When I opened my eyes, he was like walking down the hallway and I was left all alone with my scarf, to like play with.
(A/N: How's it going? Love it, hate it, let me know. Any kind of comments will help. So if you read it, review it so I know someone's reading. Thanks! NL)