Chapter Eight: I've Moved On

Angela

I couldn't even bare to look at him. Jordan or Brian. Who did he think he was running after me at the party and trying to like get me? He wouldn't get it. Ever. Not to say that I hated Brian Krakow, but he always seemed to be there to ruin perfect moments between Jordan and I. If had just—I don't know … not been there, then maybe Jordan would have come after me.

"Go away Krakow." I mandated, walking through the sticky grass on the front lawn. As it became more and more difficult for me to manuveur through the landscape, I realized that the ground was wet and it was raining.

"I-I can like drive you home."

"No thanks." I yelled, still waiting for Jordan. Where was he?

"Hey kid you're missing the party." The girl from before peaked out of the house and Brian followed her back.

I opened up my purse and pulled out the phone my parents had given me for "emergencies only." It must have weighted about 10 pounds, but without it, I would be stuck here.

Jordan

I had this burning urge that kept telling me to turn around and go after her. Follow Angela Chase and explain things to her that like … mattered. Naw, I shook my head instead, trying to shake her off my mind, but Angela was never completely gone from it.

I thought about her a lot and what she like saw in me. I kept disappointing her and that was what I did. Like father, like son. Instead, I needed to have fun and Rosalie was it.

She was like totally smokin' and looking at me like she felt the same way. Tonight would be fun. I smirked.

"What are you grinning about?" She approached me after bringing Krakow back into the house.

"Are you done with that loser?"

"That loser went after your girl," Rosa said slowly and flirtatiously as though she had something dirty on her mind.

"Let's hang out."

"You ditched me."

"I had stuff to do." I shrugged, revealing to her my stash of marijuana.

"Don't do it again." Rosa ordered as I remained silent and she kissed me eagerly. After that, I was willing to follow Rosa anywhere.

Angela

"At least try on this dress I found for you. It's so cute honey." Mom walked towards me with the hideous powder blue puffy sleeved dress that I had hidden earlier.

"I…"

"Tried to hide it? If you hated it why didn't you say so? It was so expensive Angela."

"Sorry mom. Maybe Danielle will like it." Immediately I heard coughing. My mom and I looked at each other. This did not sound good. The two of us left my room.

"Danielle's not going. She's got a little fever." Dad came rushing down the hallway before we even reached Danielle's room.

"Oh no." Mom looked at me sadly. "Your father and I have to go to this banquet. They're honoring him for--"

"I know." I rolled my eyes.

"I want you to stay and take care of your sister. I hope you're not too disappointed."

"Sure." I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I totally understand."

Danielle

"Get up." Angela commanded, coming into my room as soon as my parents were gone.

"I can't." I coughed. "I'm sick."

"Danielle, you were fine an hour ago. What's the real deal? Why didn't you want to go?"

"I knew that you'd have some better plans." I sat up and got out of bed, walking over to my closet. "Maybe a house party?" I wondered, pulling out a half top and pairing it with some neon leggings. "What do you think?"

"No way." Angela complained, snatching the shirt from me. "You'd look like a badly dressed street walker."

"Well I think you're just jealous because I've developed faster than you have." I gloated, looking down at my rapidly growing breasts. They were like boy magnets.

"You're right. I'm mega jealous." Angela joked. "You seriously cannot wear this junk. Where did you get it from?" Angela threw down the clothes.

"Fine. I'll—" Ding dong. Ding dong. The ringing doorbell interrupted me.

"Are you expecting friends? Danielle if you planned something--"

"I didn't. I swear." Angela ran down the stairs as I followed her.

Ricky

"I came over as soon as I heard. That Rosalie girl was like rubbing it in, talking about how much 'fun' she had with Jordan Catalano." I began, walking into Angela's as soon as she opened the door.

"Thanks for picking me up last night." Angela sighed.

"No problem." I hugged her tightly. "I'm here to cheer you up and … I brought reinforcements."

"Ricky, you didn't." Angela hid her face in her hands once she watched Rayanne Graft walk in as well.

"Who better to help you out than your old friend?"

"Angela, I'm so sorry about what happened. Jordan Catalano is an ass and I'm totally up for getting back at him. The nerve of him to do this to you." She embraced Angela who just closed her eyes and tried not to move.

"Just close the door." Angela sighed as Rayanne gave me a quick glance.

"I don't think revenge is the answer."

"Ricky, he's a jerk. He keeps hurting Angela and she keeps going back for more. All we have to do is make him hurt like she is."

"No thanks Rayanne. I can't like … trust you with anything like this. You understand right?" Angela added softly showing that she did still care about preserving our trio.

"Tell her about the guy." I whispered to Rayanne, giving her a nudge.

"I don't think she'd be up for it."

"So." I argued back.

"I found a guy to help you forget about Catalano." Rayanne began, finding her way into the kitchen and drinking milk straight from the carton.

"Guy? What guy?"

"A college guy." I added with a smile.

"Who's in college?" Angela's little sister Danielle wondered from the stairwell.

"What's she doing here?"

"I'm stuck on babysitting duty." Angela rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a baby." Danielle protested. I was so enwrapped in what was going on that I barely noticed her.

"Well … what do you think--" ding dong.

Brian

"Oh, it's you," Angela said emotionlessly, not offering to let me in.

"Yeah. I noticed that you weren't at school today and--"

"Ricky's already brought the assignment. You had to like know that already, right Brian?" Angela placed her hands on her hips commandingly.

My eyes followed her hands, the quick toss of her hair, the plaid button-down shirt that covered Angela Chase's tiny, petite body. Her hands were crossed over her chest and then later on her hips. I wondered what was beneath her hands, like the shape of her hips or the exact curve of her waist. She always like hid everything so I had to imagine it.

"Why are you here?" Angela wondered boldly.

"I was just in the neighborhood and…."

"Quick. Get in." Angela yanked me by the shirt, slamming the door so close to me that I thought part of me would get stuck in between it and the door frame.

I watched Angela's expression change from extreme worry back to her normal self. It reminded me of the poem I wrote about her last night. "Angela's Eyes." It lacked a great title, but everything I wrote about her was real.

Every single emotion. I ached for her to look at me like she did Jordan Catalano. Knowing that he didn't write those poems hadn't even changed anything. She loved Jordan more and hated me even more.

"If Ms. Willow had seen us, mom and dad would hear about this and like think I had a party or something." Angela explained.

"Hey … everyone." I waved stiffly to Ricky, a quiet and lurking Danielle, and … an out-of-place Rayanne Graft.

"Krakow. Heard you like to party." Rayanne laughed.

"Yeah. Did you have fun?" Angela cocked her head to the side as wild whiffs of red hair followed. I almost had the feeling that this question wasn't just an innocent one, but loaded with anger and betrayal.

"It was fun. Yeah, but I like…"

"Enough about the dull high school party. I want to finish talking about the college dude. He's a total babe." Rayanne hopped onto the couch, putting her legs on the coffee table of the living room, dirty shoes and all.

"What college guy?" I asked, concerned that I'd have compete with someone else to get attention from Angela.

"Hey Brian." Danielle walked into the living room quickly, sitting so close that she was almost on my lap.

"Hi." I smiled, then turned back to the trio.

"Well, how old is he?" Angela wondered.

"Twenty." Ricky answered.

"Twenty … That's too old." I commented, although everyone continued to talk as though I wasn't here.

"You know I read that book you were talking to Angela about, Pride and Prejudice, and you were so right about it being deep. I wish everyone would be more open--"

"Yeah. That's nice." I nodded, trying to see if I'd missed any important information. "We can talk about this later, okay?." I offered, trying not to be too mean to her. But seriously, what could I have to say to a middle school kid?

"That's a four and a half year difference." Angela complained. "And I think it's weird that he wants to date someone in high school. I don't even know his name."

"He's the sweetest guy I've known. So sweet that means he's too boring for me. You'd love him. And his name is … umm … Ricky help me out here." Rayanne continued.

"You don't like remember his name?" Angela wondered shaking her head. "I can't go out with someone you barely know, especially if it were just me and him. That would be weird."

"Then group date. Me, you, Ricky, and … the guys." Rayanne smiled.

"What if he tries to hurt you or something? You'll need more than just Ricky and Rayanne." I spoke up.

"Krakow, get real. A license and one good summer doesn't make you the next Hulk Hogan." Rayanne turned me down quickly.

"It wasn't an offer. I'm going with."

"Then so am I." Danielle joined in. "If not, I'll tell mom and no one will be going out."

Angela exchanged glances with Ricky. "Count me out. I don't even have anything to wear and this hairstyle--"

"So taken care of. Me and you are going to have like a girls day out. I'll call everyone up for … Wednesday night and I'll come by Tuesday night to do the makeover."

"Fine." Angela agreed.

"Wednesday it is." I added with a smile.

"I think it's time for you to go Krakow." Rayanne's eyebrows rose while she opened the front door for me.

"Just call when--"

"Goodbye." My words were cut off by the slamming of the door. "What a dork." I heard Rayanne add behind the door as laughter followed.

Rayanne

This was my one chance. I was just so nervous and fidgety that I couldn't stop moving. Angela was so close to being my best friend again and someone like me needed someone like her. People like me didn't get real friends, we got real screwed over.

I was lucky enough to have Ricky still, but Angela was like this huge suburban jackpot, the epitome of someone with a real future.

"Insane, this is insane." I danced around the house, looking for all the supplies that I'd need. Continuously moving, I couldn't stop for a second which caused Amber to try and calm me down. "I'm glad you and Angela finally decided to make up, but you have got to relax."

"I know Amber." I rolled my eyes. "Just give me a sec." I responded, heading for the secret place where I had hidden some booze just in case. To this point, well actually since the band concert last year, I had done a good job of not touching it, but this was a special occasion, worthy of celebrating and calming me down. I felt like if I didn't, my brain would explode from all the dancing it was doing.

"Rayanne Graff, what are you doing?" Amber asked as I hurried to stash the booze in a new place, quick.

"Why don't you stop being such a mom and help me pick a hair color?"

"You're dyeing it?"

"Maybe. Remember, we have lots of options here." I nodded, repeating what my drama teacher always told me. There was more than one card to play. "Which means that I can handle it."

"Are you sure? I would really like to help."

"I've got it under control." I nearly pushed Amber out of the door. Peace and quiet, well sort of. The neighbors were back to their usual bickering next door but I had one less voice messing with my brain. Now back to the liquor.

Jordan

Rosalie kissed me passionately, but I wasn't into it. My mind started to wander to the party night. I had fun, an empty fun where I knew what to expect. Who was going to do what.

We could all be like so predictable, just like our parents. Like my dad would always come back and like wreck everything. He never laid another hand on me, but I had to always like be there just in case. But it was just so like tiring. And so expected.

Me with Rosalie right now was like not anything new. If it wasn't her, it'd be some other random girl who just like wanted to be with me for no particular reason. Normally, I would be able to like give in to my inner desires, which told me that I needed someone to kiss me like she did and flirt with me like she but …

I really like don't. I couldn't get my mind right. It was all wrong and it was all because of Angela Chase. She could be like so real sometimes by just like being her. I could never be so stripped like her. She was like naked, raw, and not tainted by this thing that like told us who we were, the thing that told me I was a nobody from like the wrong side of tracks.

Rosa looked at me like I was the perfect revenge against her parents, her friends, and everyone. Angela looked at me like she wanted to know me and like nothing that I did or would do could scare her away. I liked that look.

"I feel like I'm not kissing anything." Rosalie complained, taking my chin in her hand and forcing me to look straight in her eyes. I just closed them, imagining Angela's red hair. I loved it. It was so shiny and like had this vapor power over me.

"Pay attention." Rosa demanded grabbing my chin and kissing me passionately as if she pretended like this would real, it would be real.

"Hmmm." I moaned, thinking about how good it would be to kiss Angela right now. Her lips were so soft and looking like they were like … calling me for. I loved her lips.

"That's more like it." Rosa smiled, incorrectly believing that she was the cause of my moan.

Angela

"Am I too late?" I knocked on Rayanne's door, my hair soaked from the rain outside. She appeared immediately, letting me in.

"I guess I don't have to wash your hair."

"Yeah... can you like hurry? My mom doesn't know I'm here." I explained, ignoring the fact that Rayanne's eyes looked a little glazed over. And she smelled of liquor. That wasn't my problem anymore.

"Do you trust me?"

"No." I whispered even though a part of me still wanted to.

"Did you used to trust me?" Rayanne rephrased her question.

"With my life." I admitted as we both stopped to look at each other. I quickly yanked off my coat to avoid breaking down and just forgiving her. It would makes things so much easier, but I just couldn't, yet.

"Your color is fading." Rayanne responded, playing with some of the tools she had in the kitchen. "I can even see some blonde growing back."

"It's not holding me back this time." I answered. "It's the people."

"I know you don't trust me Angela, and you won't for a while ... maybe not ever, but I know exactly what you need--what your hair needs. Can you trust me?"

"I have to be back before dinner." I responded, as Rayanne nodded, preparing to do whatever it was she had planned. I had never seen Rayanne like this ... so quiet and subtle. She was always feisty and completely honest ... until she slept with Jordan. I just couldn't get over that.

Tuesday at school…

Angela

My mind is like my own worst enemy. It goes on this journey and leaves the rest of me behind and it doesn't even matter if I want to go there. I have to.

Besides this new like bob cut thing Rayanne had done to my hair, I started to think about how what I was doing to her was wrong. I wasn't like talking to her anymore, but I was like accepting this haircut and … the college boy.

Was it wrong or was this like, expected as some collateral for the damages I dealt with? Like knowing your best friend and your sort of boyfriend, who you're so into, like did it … and at one point, I thought about doing it with him.

My brain started to hurt as I tried to get to my next class, Pre-calculus.

Jordan

I saw her coming around the corner, looking down like she did a lot. What did she have to like not feel confident about? Everything about her screamed out everything I wasn't. She was so ... pure and she had this light ... thing that made the world a little brighter.

As she got closer, I noticed it. Her hair. It was different like, more sophisticated and I almost felt like not good enough to talk to her. But I decided to anyway.

"Angela." I breathed just loud enough for her to hear. She continued walking.

I continued talking. "My dad like came back last night. He was like so beyond angry the thought he could like take it out on us again. I heard it over my music, the screaming and the broken stuff. He had my mom against the wall by like her thro--"

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"You left me at the party."

"No, you left me." I heard her voice start to raise. Angela was about to lose it, over me. "Why did you like … do that? Didn't you think it would bother me to see you like ditch me? I still barely talk to Rayanne…."

"Don't say that." I turned away, ashamed. My fingers brushing her lips a little to stop her from saying more. The truth. I could barely forgive myself for that night. I was too drunk to notice, but that was no excuse. I got too drunk to drown out the memory of Angela, and half-thought that it was her I was sleeping with. It didn't like matter anyway. It was what was like expected of me, a complete idiot.

"Why can't you take the truth?" She asked, as my hand found its way back to my body. I bit my lip to hold back my sensation of wanting to comfort her. "You hurt me Jordan." Angela admitted, stopping suddenly as if she like said too much. The two of us stood in silence, breathing heavily our minds racing, but our bodies remaining still.

"It's like…" I stopped myself. I always did this. I couldn't say what I wanted. It was like stuck in my brain, dying to come out ... I was too much of a dumbass.

"Like what?" Angela walked closer to me, looking at me with the most encouraging look I had ever seen. I felt so … safe like this with her, like she wouldn't care if I was exactly like everyone thought or something more.

"Let's go somewhere." I whispered in her ear, my lips accidentally brushing her ears, sending a chilling sensation through my body.

"I can't Jordan. I have class." Angela declined.

"Wait." I called as she started to leave, caressing her face and kissing her tenderly. I felt Angela resist a little, then give in.

" Jordan …"

"Your hair is like … different."

(A/N: I found this MSCL webpage that helped to fill me in on everything I've forgotten about the show and it really helped. I've cut down on the "likes" and thanks for the reviews, please KEEP THEM COMING:) --NL)