A/N

Alright I'm sory it's bee a while and stuff. But my hard drive got destroyed so I've been busy redo coursework and not really thinking about this at all.

A massive thank you to you and a even bigger one to Shroomy my beta :D thank you

Enjoy

Chapter 4
The way of the Jedi

'I don't like it.' James declares leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking straight at me.

'Babe I know you don't like him, fuck I stopped liking him years ago, but for whatever reason he seems to still care and it's the best way to find out.' I tell him, rubbing his arm.

'It's creepy Lils and the guy is still…' He starts but I cut him off, 'James, I'll be careful, I'll only be gone for a few minutes and I promise that I'll come and find you straight away'

He stares at me for a moment, pushes himself away from the wall, grabs my face in his hands, kisses me forcefully for a few seconds and then leans his forehead against mine, 'Fuck Lily.'

I laugh though I have no idea why. Maybe it was that kiss, because if I'm honest, I can't remember the last time that he kissed me like that.

'I'll be in common room okay?'

I nod, kiss him quickly and scurry off down the corridor.

I am not a stranger to this particular part of Hogwarts. I use to spend quite a bit of time down here. But it appears to have darker and, well, scarier since then.

I position myself next to the wall and wait. It takes about 10 minutes but then I hear the voices of people coming down the stairs and walking round the corner. They're 4th years I think, no one of much mention but Slytherins all the same. Reminding myself that I'm head girl and a Gryffindor I push away from the wall and wait till they are close.

They stop and look at me, 'Can we help you?' one of them asks

'If you would be so kind, can you ask Severus to come out?'

They just look at me, 'What do you want with Snape?' they ask venomously.

'That dear people is none of your concern, so if you'd be so kind and just,' I indicate to the door.

With one last evil glance to me they wander into the dorm. Well at least they're thick and now I know the password. After a few moments the door opens again and this time Severus walks though, he glances around until he sees me.

'Lily?' He asks shocked

'Can we walk?' I ask, not waiting for a reply I turn on my heels (my very nice red heels that I'm sure are not allowed pieces of uniform - but given classes are cancelled I don't think they'll care that much) I walk until I hit a window. I lean against the wall and wait for him to reach me and stop.

I take a breath and tip my head to look up at him, 'Tell me the truth.'

'About what Lily?'

'I need to know Sev, please?' I don't know why I'm asking really, maybe I believe too much in redemption to completely give up on him.

'About what Lily?'

I raise my voice, '5 fucking people died Sev! And I'm asking you if you had something to do with it?!'

'I don't see why it's any of your concern.' He replies, not meeting my gaze

'No your right, why should I care that people died! That there are aurors all over the place! That parents are wondering if they should take their kids out of school! But yeah why should I give a fuck!' I'm almost screaming now, not believing that this is the bloke who was once my best friend

'Lily..'

I take a breath, 'I just need to know if you were part of it. Heck if it was your room mates sister's ex-husband's little brother. I don't care! Just, Merlin! I need to know.' I finish almost in a whisper.

He looks at me in silence, then opens his mouth to speak. 'Snape!'

Walking up to us is Black - but not the one that I like. It's the ugly one, the ugly evil one. 'Evans.' He nods at me. That is the bizarre thing about this one. He will... you can tell he's old money - if that makes. It probably doesn't but there's the same sort of refinement about him as Sirius has, that same basic aura - it's just that Sirius got it in more copious amounts and the rugged good looks and, well, the niceness.

'Snape come on.'

Severus gives me one last look, turns away and follows Black down the corridor.

Why do I get the feeling that I've just launched myself off the high board and into a shark infested pool while smothered in pigs blood?

I flop down next to James, while him, Sirius and Remus are talking about something or nothing.

'You okay?' James asks, turning to face me, his arm pulling me closer

I smile meekly. I know it's stupid and I should have got over it already but every time I see him. I still want to believe that I'm talking to my best friend. 'I'm fine.'

James studies my face for a moment, then turn backs to his conversation. But he pulls me closer into him and keeps running his hand up and down my arm. I just lay my head on his shoulder and float of into my own thoughts

'You gonna tell me what happened?' James asks me, handing me a cup of tea and sitting down next to me on our sofa.

'Not a lot.'

' 'Not a lot" he doesn't know anything, "not a lot" he knows something or "not a lot" he told you that you were an idiot and threatened to kill me?' James responds sarcastically.

I end up smiling because well that's something James, my actual boyfriend - best mate - enemy - bloke- James would actually say. 'Not a lot, I think he knows something but well Black the younger came along before he could say anything.'

James scowls at the mention of Regulus, 'Maybe we don't mention that one to Sirius.'

'James, he's his brother.' I say shocked

'But they hate each others guts.' he tries to explain

'James, you don't get that angry with someone, the way Sirius does with Regulus if you just hate each other.'

'Lils trust me, Padfoot is my best mate - he hates Regulus.'

'I don't doubt it, but somewhere Sirius is holding on to the fact that maybe Regulus just isn't as evil as the rest of them. Trust me, coming from someone who hates her sister you put a hell of a lot of effort into them before you give up.'

James just looks at me, then takes my mug out of my hand and leans forward, 'Why are we talking about the Blacks?'

'You started it.'

'Well I'm ending it,' he just looks at me, 'So what now?'

'I dunno - skinny dipping?'

James splutters,

'Calm down babe, I'm joking'

'Good, because it's freezing out there.' He smiles at me. But I can't manage to smile back, because my James would have said okay and then I would back pedal. 'Hey.' he says 'what is it?'

'Nothing.'

'Lils, please, talk.'

Neither of us talks for awhile.

'It doesn't matter James.'

'It does, please Lily just tell me.'

'I'm trying James,'

'At what?'

I take a breath and take another route, 'James you were great when my parents died. And I'm trying to do the same here, but I'm not sure what you want from me.'

James just looks at me, in a way I can't describe. 'Lily you have been great. I'm just not very good at the whole… stuff.'

'I'm not asking you to be, but a little word here and there, it would be helpful.' I smile up at him.

'Well in that case, I could do with a hug.' he puts on doe eyes and pouts

'I think I can manage that'

A/N

Things to mention..... umm not really but well the title is obvious and frankly if it isn't what business have you being alive?

Ken

XD