Chapter Eleven: No White Flag Above My Door

Angela

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened? You've stayed over here since Wednesday night … through the weekend. It's Monday and you owe me." Rayanne threatened as though she was in a position to do so. I guess she had a right to think so.

I did invite myself over to her house for almost a week, long enough for me to run away from Jordan and try to figure this whole thing out. Why couldn't I just tell her that I like … was almost raped.

I still hadn't talked to Jordan about it. I was embarrassed because it was my fault, really. It was my fault.

Who did I think I was trying to be all sexy and go out with a college boy? That wasn't me. I was some naïve simple typical girl and I proved it by going up that room with him.

I shook my head, trying to tear away the memory and the utter horror that I had felt. I probably should tell someone. I probably should, but I cannot. What would they think of me?

In situations like this, people never believed the girl. They always called her a whore and I was far from a whore, but I didn't want my reputation dragged through the mud.

I didn't … want to say anything.

"Come on Angela, spill. Did you go all the way with that college guy?"

"Yeah …" I muttered absentmindedly. I wasn't going to talk to Rayanne about what really happened, but Jordan … I felt super-embarrassed by still … I had to go find him.

Jordan

I hated what had happened to Angela. It had happened to many women before in my life, due to my sadistic father … yeah, sadistic is the way to describe him.

One thing that I'm thankful for this that I could stop her from sharing the fate of other battered women. Angela was better than that. I didn't want anyone to sully her, to like … spoil her.

She was like one of the few people I knew who wasn't jaded about everything … even after all the disappearing acts I'd put her through, Angela always had a smile for me and a life. I like … needed her.

Monday morning came and I still hadn't seen her since that night. I wanted to. I had even tried, driven to her house every night but … she wasn't there. I should've checked Rayanne's. I can be so stupid sometimes …

"Angela!" I yelled, fully unconcerned about my image at this point. "I need to talk to you." I rushed after her in the hallway until she turned around.

"I don't want to talk. I'm so embarrassed."

"My like … mom was raped … and beaten and … it doesn't like matter. I know what it can do to someone. I don't want it to ruin you."

Angela looked to me with glistening eyes, falling into my chest and crying uncontrollably. She needed that release. I knew that she did.

"You didn't deserve that and you have nothing to like … be ashamed … I don't want to like see you hurt … ever."

Rocking Angela back and forth in my arms, knowing that she talked to me about what she was feeling was the most intimate and real that I'd ever gotten with her.

We played hooky again that day, but not to go make out in my car which was like so … juvenile right now … she just talked to me and I like listened and said stuff, stuff that made me sound smart. Stuff that I could never say to anyone else.

Danielle

Apparently I'm the only one who cares about this family and who wants to save it from damnation. I can tell that my parents are having a hard time, but they cannot divorce. Divorce means two houses, a new school, and possibly moving away.

Dad hadn't been staying at home with us and mom was making herself scarce which was unlike her. She was always in our faces over everything. I waited out in the living room right after school, determined to confront one of them.

"Where have you been?" I asked mom when she walked into the house. She wasn't the parent that I wanted to see, but I'd have to hear her side of the story first.

"Oh honey. You scared me." Mom giggled, cavorting around in a gangly way as though her body controlled her. She had been drinking.

"What's going on and where's dad?"

"Where's dad? Dad …" Mom rushed to the kitchen, looking for him. "Where are you? Are you there … nope." She chuckled again, this time repeating the same gesture in the dining room.

"Mom, be serious. When is dad coming home?"

"Graham is never coming home. I served him the papers this afternoon!" She cheered as my heart dropped. There had to be a way to reverse this nightmare.

Rosa

Normally, I wouldn't feel bad for privileged little girls like Angela who were happy all the time because they hadn't had a dose of reality. There was something that was bothering me though and it was mostly that … I didn't want to share her with Jordan.

She had a right to know just how intimate our relationship was and … she needed to know that no one was changing that.

I did a very nice thing by not doing this at school in front of everyone. Rather, I invited her over to my house unconcerned as to whether my bimbo mother and Graham, now a threefold deadbeat dad, were home or not.

When she came to the door, I buzzed her in and met her downstairs. "I'm on the 5th floor." I explained, brushing my deep waves to one side and walking an confidently as possible.

"Hi." Angela squeaked, following me with her oversized flannel shirt on. I tried not to smirk and waited until we were inside my mom's condo to let her have it.

"Okay, let's get to it."

"To what?"

"Jordan is mine. I don't want to share him with anyone. I know you know that we've done a lot more than just hold hands and look at each other with puppy dog eyes." I paused. "It's serious."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I think it's Jordan's decision who he wants to be with and her decision if she wants to be with him back."

"Don't think suburbia." I dismissed her statement. "You can't give him what I can give him."

"Jordan and I don't need sex to define our relationship. We understand each other."

"So you're not going to take the hint then … that's really stupid of you." I shrugged. "Well, we'll see how strong and definitive your relationship is after he hits it. Around school, Jordan is known for hitting it and quitting it. I suggest you hold onto your virginity as long as possible."

"I'm going to go now." Angela got up abruptly looking flustered. I smiled. Mission accomplished. For once the Latina would conquer the Arian but … my victory was short-lived.

"Mami's home!" My mother arrived with Graham on her arm. I rolled my eyes. Normally I was good at ignoring them, but not today. Maricela turned to kiss Graham and Angela stood, stuck in her spot.

"Oh … my God!" Angela burst out of the house in sobs. Graham started to chase after her saying:

"Angela, sweetheart … let me explain."

Angela

What do you say to your mother after you discover that your dad's been cheating on her? I didn't know or even want to find out, but with the way I was feeling … it would be impossible to lie to her.

How could my dad like do that? It wasn't like he was just cheating on my mom, but me, and Danielle … our entire family. And like he was hanging out at Rosa's house???

It made me sick. She made me sick. Her mother made me sick … and I really felt alone in this. The only place that I felt like I could go and just vent was at Jordan's.

I hadn't actually spent time with him at his house, but calling was too impersonal.

Jordan

My house is like one of those TV things where they should you how not to raise kids. If people came in and filmed at my house, they'd say, 'This is how to make sure your kids end up more screwed up than you.'

If I only had myself to worry about, I would have run out a long time ago and lived with Tino or Rosa … whatever. I had lots of friends, but leaving my little brother to fend for himself? I couldn't do it.

I took care of him. I bought his clothes, made sure he bathed, gave him food … I was his parent or like … parent-like. My brother Cameron … I couldn't let him end up like me. I was really screwed up. I did stupid shit. I hurt innocent people like Angela.

"Are you okay Jordy?" Cam asked as I nodded, making sure he finished the rest of his macaroni. He did.

"Alright now … time to go … put on your pjs."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"You have to." I demanded as Cameron made a run for it. I chased after him, going around in circles until the doorbell rang. I answered it. "Who is it?"

"Angela!" Her broken voice replied as I opened the door immediately and hugged her like never before. I couldn't remember hugging her before.

"Are you okay?"

"No. My dad he … he's leaving my mom." She choked out, her face tear-stained. I temporarily put the Cameron situation on hold as Angela looked up at me all wide and doe-eyed. "Who's he?"

"My baby brother." I retorted. "I like … take care of him …"

(A/N: Yeah! I'm almost done with this one. Review and So Hard to Make Them Fly is going to be updated soon too! --NL)