As it turned out, when I organize my stories by the latest updated, this ends up at the bottom. But worry not. It is at the top now! Thank you for waiting so long. This means I can now rightfully call you "faithful reader." At long last, chapter 3 of Life Lessons! WOO-HOO!

Chapter 3

Sari walked outside with her father from her second interview at Lincoln High School. She felt confident this time around. They had a much more convincing and less disturbing story that didn't involve any puppies. They had kept the idea that she was adopted, but this time she was from India, not Thailand. They couldn't think of a better idea about what had happened to the younger Sari, but fortunately, this principal never asked about her. Sari's life had started out pretty rough, but it got better later on. Her parents had died in a car accident eight years ago, and Sari lived in an orphanage for two years until Isaac took her in. He had been visiting a friend of his who worked at that orphanage, and after meeting Sari, the two grew extremely fond of each other. He had lost his wife and she had lost her parents, and they helped to heal each other. Isaac was fairly wealthy, meaning it wasn't hard to support Sari. He had been raising her for ten years now (she was confirmed to be fifteen, adopted at the age of five) and she had received a pretty good education from her Tutor Bot, but, just as she did in real life, Sari wanted the experience of going to school with other students.

Sari was proud of her life story. She thought that perhaps she should be a writer one day. The principal was equally pleased, and he told Sari that he would call her. He didn't say yes or no, but Sari just knew that she would be accepted. She was so excited she felt like she would explode.

"I wish Starscream would get sucked up by a black hole," said Bumblebee. He and Sari were playing the Wish Corruption game. One of them would make a wish, and the next person would grant that wish. However, the wish had to somehow go horribly wrong. It was kind of a twisted game, but it was still fun.

"Wish granted," said Sari, "But the black hole ended up being a portal to Narnia and he killed all the little bunnies! Muahahahaha!"

"That's just sick!" said Bumblebee.

"I wish you'd stop talking," said Sari.

"Wish granted," said Bumblebee, "But my magic wand broke so now I'm still talking!"

"You really stink at this game, you know that?"

"I wish someone would slice Sentinel Prime's chin off!"

"Wish granted," said Sari, "But that someone was you, so he got mad and painted you pink as revenge."

"I don't like this game anymore!" Bumblebee complained.

"Baby," said Sari, "Now I wish I had—" Sari was cut off as her cell phone rang. She picked it up and started talking to someone Bumblebee didn't know.

"Hello? … Yeah, this is Sari… So you've made your decision about letting me in? … Really? … That's great! Thank you so much! I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then!"

Sari hung up and started her victory dance.

"I take it they accepted you?" said Bumblebee.

"No, Bumblebee," said Sari, "I'm just dancing because I need the exercise."

"Oh, okay," said Bumblebee, "Now what were you gonna wish for?"

"I wish you understood sarcasm."

"Hmm," said Bumblebee, "Tough one…" What bad thing could happen if he understood sarcasm?

"You really didn't catch that, did you?" asked Sari, "I did get accepted. That was sarcasm, hence the wish. I have to explain everything to you, don't I?"

"Ohhh," said Bumblebee, feeling kind of stupid, "Wish granted, but due to my obnoxious nature, I still pretend I don't."

"You know what?" asked Sari, "Let's just go back to Ninja Gladiator…"

Sari awoke the next morning feeling eager and jittery. Her mind raced as Prowl drove her to school. She was excited about meeting new people and such, but she wondered if she would like the teachers. They were always either jerks or boring on TV, so she was preparing for the worst. But then, anything was better than that stupid Tutor Bot. Sari's trail of thought ended as Prowl came to a stop. She waved goodbye to him, took a deep breath, and walked through the doors.

Sari looked around at all the people talking in the cafeteria. If she understood correctly, she was supposed to stay there until the principal dismissed them to their lockers. She had ten minutes to put her backpack in her locker and get her books for her first period class, and then get to her class. Unlike most schools, she wasn't allowed to have her backpack in class. That was why there were five minutes between classes so students could get to their lockers and get their books, instead of two or three minutes.

Sari repeated this in her mind, so she wouldn't be lost. Once she was dismissed, she searched through the halls to find her locker. She had no idea what floor it was on, though, so that made things difficult. Sari wandered around for a moment, confused.

"Hey," said a voice behind her, "You're the new girl, right? You lost?"

Sari turned around to see a girl. She had black hair that went down to her upper back, and was wearing a lilac t-shirt with a blue hoodie over it. Okay, Sari thought, This is my first chance to make a new friend. I can't act like a dork.

"Yes and yes," Sari said, laughing a little at herself, "I can't find my locker."

The girl smiled. "What's your locker number?" she asked.

"3171," Sari answered.

"All the 3000 lockers are upstairs," said the girl, "You're actually next to mine. Come on, I'll show you where it is."

"Thanks," said Sari.

"I'm Jasmine, by the way."

"My name's Sari," said Sari, making sure Jasmine wouldn't think she said "sorry."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," said Jasmine, curtsying dramatically. Sari laughed and did the same.

As it turned out, Jasmine was in two of Sari's classes on A day (they were on block schedule) and one on B day. Jasmine was the first friend Sari made at Lincoln High. She was Sari's guide for the rest of the day, and Sari was no longer afraid that she'd be sitting by herself at lunch. It was kind of strange; on TV everyone would always pick on the new kid. It wasn't like that here. Everyone (minus the popular kids, Lailah Itani and her boyfriend, David Willis) had been pretty nice to her. Her teachers, surprisingly, were also pretty cool. So far she had been through English with Mrs. Schultz and Chemistry with Mr. Hall. Even though this was the first school Sari had been to, she thought it was just about the best school ever.

"There's our table," said Jasmine as she and Sari walked through the cafeteria.

"It's kind of crowded," said Sari, "But it looks like we'll be able to squeeze in."

They sat down, and a girl with short blonde and brown streaked hair gasped upon seeing Sari.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, "It's a person I don't know!"

"I'm Sari," said Sari, "And I'm not apologizing; my name is Sari. So don't ask."

"I'm gonna call you Robo-teen!" said the girl, grinning.

Sari froze. Was it really that obvious? Had this girl actually figured it out already?

"Why do you say that?" Sari asked, making an effort not to sound horrified.

"The orb thingy on your neck somehow reminds me of a cartoon I used to watch," said the girl. Sari's heart stopped pounding. Her secret was still safe.

"She makes up nicknames for everyone," said another girl with brunette braids and a white sweater, "I'm Marshmallow. But my real name is Lisa. The crazy idiot over there is Alice."

"That was mean!" said Alice.

"It's okay," said Lisa, "We all love you anyway."

"I'm smart!" said Alice.

"But are you sane?" Lisa asked.

"No!" said Alice with pride, "I only have one life! Why waste it being sane?"

"Jasmine, hurry up!" Sari called.

"My book is stuck in my locker!" Jasmine griped.

"We have thirty seconds left!" Sari said, "You're gonna be late! Forget the book!"

"The classroom's right there!" said Jasmine, still tugging at her book, "I can get this in thirty seconds!"

"Mr. Lyndevau's gonna give you detention if you're not in your seat by the bell!"

"He's also gonna give me detention if I don't come prepared to class with all my stuff, so does it really matter?"

"We have twenty seconds left!"

"Then HELP ME WITH THIS!" Jasmine begged.

Sari grabbed Jasmine's history book and started pulling. Since she was fairly stronger than most people, it didn't take long to yank the book out. The force Sari used was so strong that it caused the both of them to fall.

"You see?" Jasmine asked.

"Yeah," Sari said, "Ten seconds! RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND!"

Sari and Jasmine scrambled into the classroom and leapt into their seats just as the bell finished ringing.

"We're on time, Mr. Lyndevau!" Jasmine pointed out, panting.

"Will this be a fun class today?" Sari asked.

"Every class is a fun class," Mr. Lyndevau said smugly.

"Will it be more fun than usual?" asked Luke.

"Yes," said Mr. Lyndevau, "'Cause we're gonna watch a fun video!"

"And would this be your definition of fun or mine?" asked Alice.

Mr. Lyndevau simply laughed as a documentary about the Spartans came onto the projector screen. The entire class groaned as they heard the narrator begin to speak.

"Why are you laughing now?" asked Sari.

"Because it's funny," replied Mr. Lyndevau.

"Where is your heart, Mr. Lyndevau?" asked Tory, "Where is your heart?"

Mr. Lyndevau didn't answer. He just laughed more.

"Mr. Lyndevau," Sari mumbled, "You are evil."

It was true. Ever since Sari's first class with Mr. Lyndevau three weeks ago, she knew that he was the ultimate source of evil at Lincoln High, perhaps on the whole planet, maybe even in the universe. Sari heard from a girl in his AP class named Mary that when she was sick for a few days, he had assigned that class a project. Mary heard about it when she got back, but had no idea when it was due. She decided to email Mr. Lyndevau and ask him. He sent her back a reply saying it was in a few days. Mary then asked if it was a few class days or a few days days, and for the actual due date. Mr. Lyndevau's response was as follows: "=D".

He was EVIL.

Sari wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Mr. Lyndevau was actually Starscream in disguise. Only he didn't sound like a demented Spongebob like Starscream did.

When will the bell ring? Sari wondered, class just started, but all the same, WHEN WILL IT RING?

Sari looked next to her to see Alice reading a piece of paper. The words were all typed out, and on the top it read in big bold letters: "50 fun things to do during a boring lecture." She couldn't make out the smaller words, but what Alice did gave her an idea what one of them was. Alice pulled out a small tape player. She kept it out of Mr. Lyndevau's sight, but made sure Sari could see it. She pressed play and, very loudly, it played a recording of the bell.

Startled, Mr. Lyndevau jumped up from his seat and looked around, while Sari and Alice giggled behind their hands.

"What was that?" Mr. Lyndevau asked.

"Class is over," Alice said, "We get to go home now!"

Mr. Lyndevau gave Alice a look. He didn't suspect that she was responsible for the bell ringing, because she would always say things like that.

"It was probably a malfunction, Alice," said Mr. Lyndevau, "We still have at least fifty minutes of class left."

Alice grinned and the Spartan documentary continued.

After about five minutes, she played it again. She and Sari continued to laugh as Mr. Lyndevau gave the same reaction as before.

"See?" Alice asked, "School ended early today!"

"If school ended early," Mr. Lyndevau stated, "I would know."

As soon as the teacher had turned his back, Alice played the bell a third time. The girls made no effort to stifle their laughter this time when they saw Mr. Lyndevau's expression.

"Where is that coming from?" he asked to nobody in particular, "I need to call the office and see what's wrong with the bell…"

Sari and Alice exchanged worried glances, and Alice quickly fast-forwarded the tape, knowing she was going to get caught anyway. When she let go of the button, a recording of a very loud thunderstorm boomed from the tape player. Alice then stood up.

"You've angered the gods, Mr. Lyndevau!" she yelled, pointing to the sky, or, the ceiling rather. She stormed for the door, pretending to be furious. Sari got up and went along with her, followed by first Jasmine, then Tory.

"Alice," Mr. Lyndevau said, shaking his head, "Of course. Is this a custom in Wonderland?" He laughed.

"It's really not that funny," said Alice.

"You should just give up trying to tell jokes," Sari added.

"I've angered the gods, have I now?" Mr Lyndevau asked, ignoring their comments, "Well, for the sake of this class they'll have to stay angry. And I don't think they'll mind you staying if it means you don't get detention." He put his hand on top of the stack of detention slips on his desk. The four girls immediately zipped back to their seats.

"Okay," said Tory, "We're ready to learn!"

"No we're not," Alice mumbled, glancing over her list. She pulled a Ziploc bag filled with popcorn from her purse and proceeded to throw pieces of popcorn at Mr. Lyndevau as he was explaining a bit from the video. His mouth dropped open in shock and confusion, and he just stood there.

After a few moments of silence, Alice pointed out, "These trained animal shows just aren't what they used to be."

Thankfully Mr. Lyndevau burst out laughing instead of bursting out with detentions. Sari gave Alice a high-five. She took the list from Alice and looked over it, ready to have some fun. She decided to do number twelve.

Sari ripped out a piece of paper from her binder and began writing.

My dearest Brad,

I have been watching you for a long time now. My feelings for you are too strong to be hidden any longer. I do not wish to waste another second of what the two of us could be spending together. I can't reveal my identity to you right now, while my friends are watching, but I can meet you later. Today, right after school, outside, behind the building. I hope that I will finally find the strength to speak with you about us. So, Brad, can you do that for me? Can you wait for me?

I love you.

-Secret Admirer XOXO

Sari giggled and folded up the paper into an airplane. She waited until Mr. Lyndevau wasn't looking, made a "Shhh" gesture to the class so they wouldn't ruin her joke, and then tossed the airplane at the back of his head.

"Okay, Alice," Mr. Lyndevau scolded as he turned around, "That's enough popc—Huh?" He picked up the airplane, which was covered in hearts, unfolded it and began reading. His eyes bulged as he realized what one of his students had just said to him.

"Who wrote this?" he screamed, seeing right through the prank, "Who wrote this LIE?"

No one could have foreseen that Tory would further enhance the prank by fleeing the classroom in tears.

"Ohhh…" Mr. Lyndevau fell for it. He quickly phoned the office. "Hello? Yeeeaaah, I think I just broke a student's heart…Can I get a sub in here while I go make sure she doesn't throw herself out the third story window?"

"Hey, Bumblebee!" Sari said, walking into the base after school.

Bumblebee said nothing; he simply sat there, staring at the TV with a blank expression on his face.

"Hey, Bumblebee," Sari repeated. Still no answer. "I'm back from school…"

He again was silent, and his servos twitched slightly.

"Don't you wanna know how my day was?" Sari asked

This time his left optic twitched.

"Why, yes, Sari, how was your day?" Sari asked, mimicking Bumblebee's voice. "It was great," Sari answered in her own voice, "thanks for asking!"

Nothing.

"Oh, and by the way, Megatron's right behind you," Sari said, trying to get his attention.

Clearly it didn't work. Sari then transformed her hand into the equivalent of a tazer, and proceeded to taze Bumblebee.

"GAAAAAAHH!" Bumblebee screamed, "PRIMUS, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"So you are alive," Sari said, transforming her hand back, "What's up with you?"

"What's up with me?" Bumblebee repeated, "I'll tell you what's up with me! LOOK AT THE MONITOR!"

"What?" Sari asked.

"My game froze on me!"

"Oh. It does that sometimes. Just turn it off and then back on. No big deal."

"I know that! But I was just about to finish level 15!"

"So?"

"So that means I'm gonna have to repeat the WHOLE SLAGGIN' LEVEL!"

"Refining your skills, Bumblebee," said Sari, leaving the room, "Refining your skills…"

Bumblebee frowned, trying to think of another option. There had to be some way of fixing his game without having to start over…

Getting no ideas, he threw his controller up against the wall.

"Slipping slowly into madness?" asked a voice from above.

Bumblebee screamed, and then looked up to see Prowl, hanging from the ceiling.

"How are you doing that?" Bumblebee yelled.

"Concentration," he replied, "But again, your processor seems to be gradually deteriorating. Am I right?"

"I don't know… Maybe…"

"And do you know why that is?"

"I get the feeling I'm about to."

"I can't be certain of the reasons for you being more idiotic than usual, but if you wish to know my personal opinion, then very well. I believe you've had a mild case of insanity as of approximately three weeks ago. And what happened then?"

"Uh… I don't remember."

"Are you sure?"

"…Can you get down from there? My neck hurts."

Prowl gave an exasperated sigh, and leapt down from the ceiling.

"Now where were we?" Prowl asked.

"Hmm… I forget…"

"We were discussing your sanity, and you're simply proving that you're going to need psychological assistance."

"Oh, yeah," said Bumblebee.

"And it began roughly three weeks ago, which you have forgotten the events of."

"What happened three weeks ago?"

"Try to think back," Prowl suggested.

"Hmm… I got nothing."

"Sari," Prowl finally retorted, "That was when she began attending high school."

"Ohhh," Bumblebee realized, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm trying to get you to realize that Sari's absence has caused your sanity to slip away."

"What? How do you know there's a connection?"

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, Bumblebee. You've had to spend the majority of your time on your own, and the effects it's given on you are similar to that of solitary confinement. If nothing is done about it, then it could get much, much worse."

"So… Get Sari to start home schooling again?"

"…No. Try again."

"Uhhhhhh…"

"To put it in simple terms, Bumblebee, you miss her. Once you can accept that, then it will be left to the two of you to decide where to go from there."

"What?" Bumblebee asked, "You're not helping me be sane again? MAKE ME SANE AGAIN!"

Prowl simply gave another exasperated sigh and left, undoubtedly to go hang from his tree and think about leaves or something.

Hehehe… Leaves… Mr. Lyndevau is an anagram of my history teacher, who once told my class that his goal on Halloween was to make little kids cry. I have not made any changes to his personality whatsoever. Seriously, the story about Mary and the AP project was true. Only the name and gender of the student were changed, to protect the innocent. Or something XD. The "50 things to do during a boring lecture" is real, too. The girl who sat next to me in Biology last year was reading it. I think she actually did one of the things… Pointing to someone and saying "He knows" when asked a question, I think… Alice is also based on someone I know. No changes were made but the name, once again. My nickname was Pinky (because most of my stuff is pink, if you couldn't figure that out). The "I'm smart… I only have one life; why waste it being sane?" bit really happened. She doesn't go to my school anymore, sadly. And yet another explanation of a character, you may recognize the name David Willis. AKA ItsWalky. He was mean to me. This is my way of getting revenge. MUAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT WALKY! Lailah Itani is an old friend's homicidal girlfriend. He played a joke on her one day and she didn't take it too well. I possibly saved his life from her simply by reminding her that boys are stupid XD. No offense, boys. What's funny is that those two are probably not even reading this }:] And I'm calling THEM evil.

I'm almost done setting it up… One more chapter, maybe two, until the comedy becomes drama…