I got the idea for this chapter when I was sitting on the tube and Life on Mars came on my ipod.

Thanks to all those that have reviewed.

Chapter 14

February, 2012

She sat in the slightly dark room, waiting for the conversation to start. In the months since she had woken up, she had never started a conversation with the psychologist. It wasn't that she was being stubborn, it was that she never knew how to start with the woman. She was nice enough, but Molly still had a bit of trouble opening up at the beginning of sessions.

"Have you had anymore dreams?"

Molly raised an eyebrow. That was an unnaturally direct way to start the conversation. Eventually she nodded. "Every night I dream about them."

"What happens in the dreams?"

"Mum and Gene are at the station, getting into one of their arguments or doing regular everyday things like shopping. Well, Mum shops and Gene complains. Sometimes it's just Mum watching telly or doing things on her own. Tom appears every once in a while to talk to her. Its either him talking to her or hanging out with the group."

"The band of runaways?"

Molly nodded and smiled sadly.

"Are you still drawing out your dreams?"

"Sometimes."

"But nothing like when you woke up after you attempted..."

"I had a whole world I had to make sure I needed to remember," Molly said, cutting her off.

"But surely, Molly, that was just a dream as well?"

Molly smiled and shook her head. "Everyone, including you, has tried to persuade me of that before. But before I did what I did, the only dream I had of my mum was her in the hospital as the monitors went flat. I know you've never taken the amount of pills I did, but the fact of the matter is, one of those things is a 'mildly sedative antidepressant.' I was supposed to take them before bed once a day. I took one or two of those before my attempt. They didn't make me dream. If one of those does that, imagine what sixty would do. I guarantee you I wasn't dreaming."

"So you really believe that there's a world of people who are dead or dying."

"Yes. And I think you can move on from there, like Tom's mum did."

"How do you know she moved on?"

"She 'disappeared.' The only way you disappear from that world is to move on or to come back. She couldn't come back. She's been dead since 2005. Tom was really torn up about how she went missing, poor bloke."

"But surely he knew she moved on?"

"It doesn't work like that. After a while you forget. That world's real to you. Mum almost forgot she had a daughter. But that time she didn't have anything to remind her of me, we were worlds apart. At least this time, she's got something to remind her."

"You sound like you want to go back."

Molly nodded. "Of course I do."

"But what if when you get back, your Mum's moved on, or Tom?"

Molly shook her head. "They won't. Mum's promised that she'll be there when I come back."

"So your Mum wants you to come back? She knows what you did and she's fine with you doing that?" the woman asked sharply.

Molly laughed. "Of course she's not. Mum wants me to live my life here, to be productive and meet a boy and be happy living. She had all these dreams for me, so it's the least I can do to fulfil a few. She told me when it's my time to come back, she'll be waiting for me. If I went back before, she'd be so disappointed."

"So you're living for your dead mother."

"She may be dead, but she's more alive than she ever was in this world."

The woman frowned and wrote a note. "Thanks Molly. I think that's enough for today."

Molly grinned and left the room, knowing that she had perplexed the woman. The psychologist probably thought she was completely mad now, but she didn't care. She was only going to the lady because Evan wanted her too.

After she had woken up in the hospital, Evan had had a long conversation with her. Most of it was spent with her hanging her head, shamefaced. It had finally hit her how much she had hurt Evan during the past three years. When he had told her that she was going to see a psychologist, she had remained quiet, knowing that she wouldn't be able to argue about anything for a while.

He wasn't taking any chances with her, either. He allowed her to ride the tube home by herself, but he met her at the station. She didn't go anywhere besides school or the psychologist. Molly walked away from the building, putting her iPod on shuffle. She stared a moment at the path she usually took to get to the tube station, but turned in the opposite direction, towards the Tate Modern.

She walked along the River Walk, ignoring all the tourists staring in awe of the scenery and taking photos. There was a spot that she wanted to see.

Molly stopped in the middle of the walkway, staring. It was the spot she'd avoided for over three years, since that day Arthur Layton had taken her hostage and nearly shot her. Molly stared at the only thing that remained that was familiar. A red box holding a life saving ring was still hanging on the fence. She stared at it, remembering the face of the man who had later taken her hostage. She remembered the frantic worry on her mother's face as she was pulled down the steps.

Molly walked over to the Millennium Bridge, running her hand over the rail. This was the last place she had seen her mum walking and talking in this life.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated against her thigh. Molly kept it on vibrate; she knew she wouldn't hear it over her music. She pulled the earphones out and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello."

"Molly, where are you?"

Molly looked at her watch. Shit, she thought. It was nearly fifteen minutes after she was supposed to arrive.

"Er... I'm on the South Bank."

"What are you doing there?"

"I...wanted to see the last place I saw...that I saw..."

"I see. I want you home as soon as possible, okay?"

"I was just getting ready to walk to the tube."

"How far away are you?"

"About fifteen minutes either way. I'll jump on Southwark, that'll be faster."

"I'll be waiting."

Molly sighed and hung up the phone, thinking for a moment. Walking to Mansion House would be faster than going to Southwark and switching lines at Westminster. She walked across Millennium Bridge to the tube station, swiping her oyster card and moving quickly through the turnstile.

As she rushed down the stairs, a train had just opened its doors. Quickly checking it to make sure it was going the right way, she jumped on just as the alarm sounded to close the doors. At the moment, it was standing room only, but she was unconcerned. Around Victoria, the coach would empty out.

Sure enough, she was right and a seat opened up at the end of the compartment. Molly swooped to the seat, ignoring the glares of the older businessmen around her. The sign said that she had to give up her seat for disabled people, not grumpy men.

As the train headed further east, the compartment emptied out more and more. Molly turned up her iPod against the noise and picked up a London Evening Standard that someone had left behind. She grinned as she read it. Jubilee Line had problems yet again that morning. It wasn't really a surprise. She remembered in May of the year before when a pin fell out of one of the doors and stalled the line for hours. There was a reason she avoided it at all costs.

That didn't mean the other lines didn't go down either. She remembered last year, also in May, when the tube station at Bayswater closed because of flooding. She remembered seeing it written on all of the signs as she walked in and out of the stations.

She sighed and threw the Evening Standard behind her, turning up the music as a child started to fuss. She closed her eyes, merely listening to the songs, letting them work their magic on her. She was tense about being late for Evan, knowing that he wouldn't be happy with her. The strains of Paloma Faith's Broken Doll faded away and she waited eagerly for the next song to start. Music was her life. It was how she defined herself.

The next song started and she grinned. She had always loved it.

It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling 'No!'
And her daddy has told her to go.
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
As she walks through this sunken dream

Molly froze. How could this song, written nearly forty years ago, describe her so perfectly? Everything since her attempted suicide had been a small affair to her, and her hair was no longer jet black. It wasn't her mummy yelling no, it was Evan, saying no to everything, and her mother had told her to go. She no longer had friends, ignoring people for three years made them weird towards a person. And ever since she had woken up, this world hadn't seemed real. It seemed like the dream.

Molly shuddered as the tannoy announced that she was at her station. That was just weird. However, the unease was washed out of her mind as she walked up the stairs the worry of what Evan was going to do running over her once more.

He was there, waiting as she swiped her card over the little yellow circle. She approached him, tucking her oyster card away.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Got distracted."

Evan gave a soft smile. "That's okay, Molls. Just let me know if you're going to be late."

Molly looked up at him, surprised that she didn't get a lecture.

"Need to top off your oyster card?"

She shook her head. "Probably not for another week or so."

He nodded. "So what do you want to do for dinner?"

Molly shrugged. Things were still a bit awkward between them. She had destroyed too much in the three years after her mother's death to repair in a few months. But their relationship was getting better. And that's what she had wanted when she returned.

"Tell you what, Scrap. There's a pub just down the street from here that we pass every night. Why don't we go there, and you can get a steak and kidney pie like you like so well? I'll even treat you to a treacle tart."

Molly grinned. "Sure, Evan. Why not?"

~(*)~

Alex answered the door and gave a small smile. "Tom, come on in."

"Sorry to keep bothering you, Alex, but..."

"It's fine, Tom. I know you miss her."

"I was wondering if you'd heard anything from her?"

Alex shook her head. "Her father is very protective. She won't be allowed to write me. I'm sure he's keeping an eye on all of her finances to make sure she's not buying stamps and watching her post to make sure she's not receiving anything from me."

"But wouldn't she fight? Molly's always fighting."

Alex smiled softly. "Sometimes you can fight all you want, but nothing ever happens. I fought and fought and fought to get Molly back, but I still lost her. She'll come back Tom, don't you worry."

"But it's been so long."

Alex smiled again. "You'll learn eventually Tom, that a few months does not equate to 'so long.' One day, a few years will seem like a short period of time."

"You think she'll come back?"

"I know she will. I don't know when, but she'll be back when she's good and ready."

Tom smiled. "Thanks, Alex."

"No problem Tom. How are the kids?"

"About the same. Jimmy is starting to look for a job and they all miss Molly. We've still got her drawings hanging up."

"I've got a few of hers around here as well. She left her sketchbook."

Tom looked up. "I know this sounds odd, but could I...could I have it?"

Alex gave a wide smile. "Of course you can, Tom. Just give it back to her when she comes back."

"Thank you so much," he said, a huge smile on his face.

Molly woke up slowly, a smile on her face. She would go back one day. She was certain of it.

A/N: The events described about the Jubilee Line and the Bayswater Station actually occurred in May this year. The Bayswater Station flooded May 26th after torrential downpours and heavy thunderstorms. (Only day it rained on my entire trip to London and it was of course the night I was going to see Keeley Hawes and that was my tube station...) The Jubilee Line lost a pin for one of its doors and they were unable to close, holding up the tube, as described in an edition of the Evening Standard I thought I had but must have thrown out.