I hadn't meant to fall for him, especially so hard. I was the queen in the shadows; no one ever paid that much attention to me. I was beautiful, like my half-sister Cassandra, but I did not have a choice of toms like she had. I had fallen for the tom with a queen and they were soon to be mates. Who was I kidding? I should have known better to flirt with him and in the next moment reject his affections. I knew they were not true affections, not the real love that I was seeking. I barely knew Plato anyway. How could you fall for someone you barely knew? I didn't know his interests, passions and hobbies. All I knew was that he was with Victoria and I was with no one. Why did he choose her anyway? I was sure she did not love him as I did. Her heart was not broken when she was without him as mine was.
That was the proper word to describe me. Broken. Forever cursed to be without the one you loved solely because he did not truly know you existed. I wanted to have someone, like everyone else. I had no Munkustrap like Demeter did, or a Tugger like Bombalurina did. I wanted a mate and I wanted one badly. I was long passed for a check-up with Dr. Love.
The worst part of the whole thing was that he kept coming to see me. Everyday, he would stop by my place and strike up conversation. I kept telling Plato to stop, that he had Victoria's feelings to consider. He waved a paw absently and continued to see me. I wished Victoria would find out about it. I knew the only reason the Ballet Kitten had accepted Plato was because her mother, Griddlebone, approved of him. We had not seen that queen in years and she suddenly appeared on day. She demanded to see her daughter and we all let her in, much to the chagrin of Munkustrap. Though the meeting was supposed to be a private one, the entire junkyard could hear the old queen demanding her child to choose between the two toms Victoria said she favored. After and hours time, I remember watching to see Plato coming out of Victoria's den with his arms around her and a triumphant smirk on his face. Everyone ran up to congratulate him and missed seeing a crushed Mistoffelees slip away into the depths of the junkyard.
I suppose I am not the only broken one. I talked with Tantomile later that same day and we discussed Misto and the whole situation. I did not have to tell her how I felt for Plato; she knew and could sense it. She had talked to Mistoffelees and she had told me all of the details of the meeting. Normally, she was never a gossip, but she worried for the young tom. He was her student and they had a bond. Tanto explained to me that Griddlebone had pointed out all of Misto's faults to Victoria and all of Plato's admirable qualities to her as well. She also threatened the young queen that if she became mates with a conjurer, she would never visit her daughter again. Still, after all of this knowledge, Plato wanted Victoria for his own. He had asked her to be his mate as if her mother had not forced it upon her.
He could have told her that he didn't want to spend the rest of his mated life with a queen who didn't love him. He could have told her mother she was crazy and that he was in love with someone else. But he didn't, because he could hold something over Mistoffelees head. He could make the great Conjuring Cat feel so small and defeated. I hated the reasons why he wanted to be mates with Victoria. None of them were right. And above all else, he still came to visit me. I feverishly entertained thoughts that he loved me. He kept saying, "I really do love you, Exotica," and I decided to believe him.
Maybe I was more than just broken in the heart. Maybe I was broken in my mind too. I carried one to many secrets to be sane. They all drove me crazy. My greatest was that I was the other queen for Plato. He wanted me, but wanted Victoria as well. I, however, had done something Victoria had not yet done. I had kissed her future mate and he had kissed me. To some, this may mean nothing but to a Jellicle it deserved punishment. A very heavy punishment. Engagement was a sacred promise and Plato and I had broken that promise. Oh, the many things I had broken and that were broken about me!
"Oh, Plato!" I cried out from my bed as I hugged my knees, "Why can't we be engaged?"
"Because I have a fiancée, remember?" I heard him answer as he walked towards me and sat upon my bed.
I threw myself upon his lap and began to sob. He stroked my back and that made it even harder to bear. He knew I loved him. Why did he torture me so! Did he enjoy it? Did he even care about me? I never voiced these questions and he never answered. He gently scooped my up and placed me on my nest. He joined me on the other side.
"But Victoria-" I began to say.
"Forget about her," he whispered into my ear.
I snuggled into his side and rested my head on his chest. I fought the voice in my head that told me what I was doing was wrong. I only thought about Plato and I being together. I never thought about how broken I was, nor how broken Plato's engagement could be or how broken Victoria would be if she found out. I only thought about what made me happy as I purred on Plato's chest and he kissed my head over and over again.
This is Exotica's point of view, if you didn't catch that. She and Plato are naughty. Apparently, I'm linking up all of these words into a story. Let's see how it goes, huh? Also, I do not support being with a guy when he's with someone else. It's wrong and it hurts so many people. I'm just writing it because it's a real life situation and it adds drama. Also, Broken, Lucky and Peace were words given by UniqaChica! Thanks for the inspiration!