A/N Hello! I'm back! Here we are with the first chapter. Sorry it's so short, but we're only getting started.

Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own Vampire Academy. I own my characters, but that's it. I'm sad now.

I shuffled the cards, making sure they were completely mixed up. Swallowing nervously, I cut the deck, choosing the three cards that called to me. I loved and hated reading the Tarot. On the one hand it was invigorating to 'know' the future, but on the other hand; it meant that there were no surprises. That was the trouble with my…abilities – they were a help and a hindrance.

Did I really want to know the future? Well, I couldn't go back now, and anyway, the Tarot weren't a clear representation of the facts. It just kind of gave you a broad, albeit confusing, overview of what could happen. But I always ended up with the exact future.

I spread the cards on the floor in front of me. Taking a deep breath in, I looked down. My eyes widened in shock. They all spelled out big changes in my life and…and…danger. Though for me, or someone else, I didn't know. I probed my mind, sinking into a meditative state.

A child…A dangerous group…Power…New people… The different images came to the forefront of my mind. I was incredibly surprised. I didn't usually get such a strange and comprehensive reading. But the strangest thing was that all these different things didn't seem to apply to my life per say, it was as if I was going to get tangled up in some weird business. Oh no…

I suppose I'm a…witch, but that analogy isn't quite correct. It's not like I can shoot sparks out of my hands or anything. I just…know things. Things that I shouldn't know, that have no relation to my life at all. For instance, I could know your partner's cheating on you, yet not even know your name. I can read the Tarot with scary accuracy, as I said before. I know if Strigoi will attack, usually. But it's not perfect-I'm not right all the time. But I am most of the time. And…I dream the future.

And I hate being like this.

How would you like being a freak of nature? How would you like knowing that the person sitting next to you on the train is going to die in three months? How would you like your life being dictated by the Moroi, just because you're 'special'? And how would you like having to give up your life for a stranger?

Welcome to my world. It sucks.

I'd never really wanted to be a Guardian, it was true. Being a Guardian hadn't been my first choice, but I'd seen no other viable option. I'd wanted to be a university professor – teaching the subject of my degree. Myths and Legends were what I'd specialised in, particularly ones about Vampires and other mythical creatures. It fascinated me, especially as I could see what humans had gotten right and wrong about us.

But it wasn't to be. I had the degree, all right, but I would need more experience. I had the contacts to do that, but how could I leave the Moroi world without being ostracised? I couldn't, and that was the point. I'd not wanted to be a blood whore, effectively selling off my body, and ending up with children with no father. Nor had I wanted my mother's complacent life. Yes, she was comfortable, and didn't have to worry about money or anything. She was still firmly integrated into our world, but she wasn't respected, and she got a lot of shit for that.

My mother was wonderful, and I thought she was great – I just didn't want that kind of half life, with no partner and no job that interested me. I couldn't fully submit to a human life, not when I'd miss my friends. I would have to keep my identity a secret, too, making all serious relationships near impossible. So there was no middle ground. Being a Guardian gave me some independence, and kept me within the world I'd grown up with.

Alex was part of the reason I stayed, too. I'd never meant to fall in love with my charge, but, well, one thing I've learnt is that you can't control fate. No matter how hard you try.

I resented being a guardian. I had no control over my own life, and it could end at any moment. True, the fact that I was slightly psychic meant I usually had prior warning, but that's not the point. I could potentially sacrifice myself for someone who wouldn't even appreciate it. I had no choices, at least none that excited me. I didn't want to just be a female dhampir nor did I want to be a Guardian, but out of the two I'd picked the latter.

It was unfair; a Moroi could do whatever they wanted, with no restrictions or prejudices. I knew none of my friends or family would have judged me if I'd turned my back on the Moroi world – indeed, my father would have encouraged me to be 'free' as he put it – but I know I would have regretted it.

So here I was, utterly pissed off with life.

Well, no, that was a bit harsh. There were a lot of good things in my life. With Alex I had a loving relationship and the chance of a family - something I'd always wanted – if only I could accept that it wasn't going to be taken away from me. I had wonderful friends and family. I was reasonably well off for a 26 year old. Not a bad life. It just wasn't the one I wanted.

I'd not been like the other kids, eagerly anticipating the day I became a guardian, excited at the thought of slaying Strigoi. No, I'd thought about how I'd constantly be in danger, how my life would never be my own. I didn't see it as a calling, as a duty; I saw it as enslavement. Nobody else understood, and if I voiced my fears I was told that I was being overly morbid and that "They came first." Everyone else accepted that; I didn't. I have too questioning a nature – I didn't think it was fair that I didn't get a life. I want to live my life, and I'm sorry if that makes me selfish, but that's how I feel. It's unfair – the Moroi would have an uprising if their choices were restricted as ours were!

But what can I do?

A/N Please review! And don't worry, Rose and co will be with us soon…

I'd also like to shout out to CandiGal for the review and the love, and to RosemarieBelikov for the Story Alert. Thanks guys!